upworthy
Family

Man responds to family looking to reconnect after throwing him out of the house 37 years ago

At 16, they accused him of something he didn't do and left him on the streets.

families, abandonment, homelessness
via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels and Inzmam Khan/Pexels

A man contemplates how to respond to an email.


On March 16, 2024, Upworthy shared the story of a Redditor named Fancy-Anywhere-4733 (FA for short) who had an incredible dilemma: How do you respond to your family 37 years after they threw you out of the house as a 16-year-old for a bogus reason?

Now, he has shared his response, which is full of honesty, strength and grace.

First, here is some background (you can read the whole story here).

FA’s mother died when he was 12 years old and 2 years later, his father married a woman named Ashley with two kids, Mark (14) and Emily (12). “I got along with Ashley and Emily really well, but Mark, not so much so,” FA recalls. The following year, this rivalry came to a head when both boys fell for the same girl, Lisa, that FA began to date, much to Mark’s annoyance.

To get FA back for dating his crush, Mark planted some of Emily’s panties in his dresser drawer for his stepmother to find on laundry day.

broken family, upset teen, homeless teen

A distressed teen afraid of his future.

via Christian Erfurt/Unsplash

“I had no answer as I'd never seen [the underwear] before,” FA wrote. “Of course, no one believed me. No matter how much protesting I did." Mark added to the lies by saying that FA often stared at Emily and once said he wanted to marry her.

FA’s father threw him out of the house for being a "perv" and he was forced to live on the streets, doing whatever he could to get by. After decades of hard work he created a new life. He had a good job, was married with 4 kids and had finally found real happiness.

Recently, at the age of 53, his stepsister, Emily, whom he hadn’t spoken to in years, emailed him. Emily revealed that Mark got drunk and admitted that he set FA up and the news has been like a “bombshell” was dropped on the family.

“After sharing this revelation with Mom and Dad. Dad started crying, like really crying,” Emily wrote in the email. “I've never seen him cry before. I believe it because he has been carrying around a lot of guilt all these years. Obviously, now knowing the truth, he is now having to deal with the consqueses of his actions. However, after several hours of talking, we all came to the conclusion that we needed to find you and make amends. I have spent hours trying to locate you, in the hopes that I could reach out and extend a heartfelt apology for the years of misunderstanding and mistreatment and hurt.”

woman on computer, family fights, forgiveness

A woman writing an email late at night.

via Muzuno K/Pexels

Receiving the email was an incredible shock, and FA wasn’t sure whether he would respond at all. “I'm, however indifferent to the idea,” FA admitted. “Like, I have no ill feelings towards [Emily]. She obviously was young and had no real say in the matter. But with lots and lots of therapy, I learned to let go of that hate and anger and to let go of them. As well with all the love I receive from my wife, kids and in-laws, it's all I really need.”

FA received countless comments from people who suggested some ways to respond to the to the email. Two days later, he shared his response to Emily in a new post:

Dear Emily,

I appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me, but I must be honest with you. The years of pain and hurt caused by the lies and manipulation by Mark and the betrayal by Dad have left deep scars that will never be truly healed. While I understand that you are now aware of the truth and are genuinely sorry for what has transpired, I find it difficult to simply forgive and forget.

The betrayal and abandonment I experienced at the hands of my own family have left me with a sense of distrust and resentment that can never be overcome. The damage that has been done has impacted me in ways that you may never ever fully and truly understand, and the idea of trying to reconcile now feels like an insurmountable task.

I have spent years in therapy trying to come to terms with the pain and deep trauma I endured, and I have worked hard to build a wonderful life for myself that does not rely on the presence or approval of those who turned their backs on me.

While I am grateful for the apology and the newfound awareness of the truth, I do not feel compelled to rekindle a relationship that was built on lies, deception and betrayal. Especially after all these years.

I have found peace and closure in distancing myself from those who caused me harm, and I do not see the need to reopen old wounds in the name of reconciliation. While I believe in the power of forgiveness, that isn't something I can give.

I wish you all the best in your life, I really do, but I must prioritize my emotional health and self-preservation above all else. I hope you can respect my decision and understand that the wounds of the past will take a lifetime to heal. I would appreciate if you pass this fact on to the others and please don't reach out again. I must look to my future and not my past.

Sincerely, [FA]

email, man writing, family drama

A man writes an email on his laptop

via Christian Hume/Unsplash

"This is a good response. You are letting them know that the door is closed, and you didn't give them any information on whether you have a family," Primierofilho wrote in the comments. "That’s (one of) my favorite parts of [FA's] beautifully eloquent reply. By denying his ex-family any information of how he is doing, they don’t get to know which way to turn their feelings," Darkstormchaser added.

One of the most powerful parts of FA’s letter is the clear reason why he will never be able to forgive them. Even though he believes in forgiveness, doing so would unravel a lot of the work he’s done to heal after the incredible, nearly insurmountable pain they have caused him.

Forgiveness was simply a bridge too far and FA should be proud that he drew up clear boundaries with his family. There was no reason why he should trade an ounce of his peace of mind in exchange for giving solace to those who abandoned him as a teen.

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Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandmaBaby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couchA stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundryA stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

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Humor

Comedian's hilarious raps get nursing home residents grooving anyway they can

Pauline Schantzer (aka Polly Wolly) created "The Finger Dance" so those in wheelchairs can groove.

therealpollywolly/Instagram

Comedian Polly Wolly raps and dances with nursing home residents.

You're never too old to sing or dance. And Los Angeles-based comedianomedian Pauline Schantzer (@therealpollywolly) is making it her mission to keep residents in nursing homes doing both. The actress, writer and rapper (aka Polly Wolly) has been bringing her beats, songs and dance moves to nursing and assisted living homes, inspiring them to live it up and find joy.

"I started performing in nursing homes in November 2023," Polly tells Upworthy.

She got connected with her first nursing home via her friend, Rena Hirsch, who was the director of the nursing home that first booked Polly. "At first I didn't plan to pursue [work] in nursing homes. But I grew up going to see my grandma in the nursing home, and my mom Judy who is my comedic inspiration also lives in an assisted living home," she shares. "She has minor dementia, so it means a lot to me to give people laughter. My mom used to be full of laughs and jokes, and she's lost that. So it's been really tough on me to experience that. And humor is how I've dealt with it."

Understanding her audience, Polly recently created a song called "The Finger Dance" that allows everyone to get dancing, including those in wheel chairs. In the video, Polly raps and sings as she interacts with the residents. "In the wheelchair, let's groove! What's that button do? Oh ooh. It's electric, vroom vroom. Can't get up? That's fine! Put your fingers up real high, aye!" she raps and sings in the video.

She continues, "Move it from side to side. Yeah girl, looking real fly! Aye! Shake them fingers, don't be shy. You got arthritis? Come on just try!" Polly pans the camera to the small crowd, who have their fingers up and are grooving along with her.

The sweet video got tons of supportive comments from viewers. "Ur in those homes everyday! I love it! Respect what you do so much, laughter is the best medicine," one wrote. Another added, "👏👏 I love how you bring a moment of happiness and joy to our seniors !! ♥️" And another viewer shared, "You've got me over here doing the finger dance at my desk while at work. Lol."

Polly adds, "I wrote this song, 'The Finger Dance' because my mom always did this dance [with her fingers]. She was so cute, she was overweight and her cheeks would look all chubby and she'd point her fingers up in the air. It was inspired by her."

In another post, Polly performed another original song in another assisted living home, encouraging everyone to dance through their aches and pains with more funny lyrics. "You got aches, you got pains, da da da da da da. So groove with your cane, da da da da da da da." And viewers noted that her performance was "100x better than Coachella" and "Next stop…Coachella."

Another bop she created is called "Shake It Doll", and it's a banger that has consistently put smiles on faces when she performs it. During a recent show, she told the crowd, "Let's get wild up in here, you know? We only live once. Let's do it!" she said as the song started. "Shake it doll, shake it at the mall! Shake it doll in the bathroom stall!" The beat is irresistible, and in the video Polly dances alongside an enthusiastic woman.

"It makes me really happy to see the residents really enjoy it. A lot of times they will first refuse to dance and enjoy. But when I get a man or woman who doesn't [initially] want to dance to suddenly get up and move, it means so much to me," says Polly.

She has big plans for the future and reaching more residents in nursing and assisted living homes. "I would love to do a nursing home tour around the United States. I have a lot of big visions for it," she says. "It really warms my heart a lot seeing how many people around the world tell me how much I'm making their day and giving joy to them. It means so much to me to see people have laughter. That's what life's about."

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Kids

Baby born with incredibly luscious locks looks like an adorable mini-Maui from 'Moana'

"The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is 'Oh my God, his hair!'"

@jchelleistryingherbest/TikTok, Wikifandom

Maybe he's born with it…

Some babies are born ready to rock out, and little Lucio is one of them.

Lucio first took the internet by storm earlier this month, when his mom, Naya “J’chelle” Perry, posted a TikTok showing off his incredible “Farrah Fawcett” like locks.

As Perry shared in the clip, Lucio caused the medical staff to do a double take in the operating room.

“The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is ‘Oh my God, his hair!’” she said, as a picture of three-hours-old Lucio with a full head of shiny, black-brown hair popped up on screen. She dubbed this his “placenta perm.”

As Lucio grew, so did his mane. By three months, he had a halo of curls. Cut to 18 months old, and Lucio looks like the spitting image of Maui from Moana.

@jchellestryingherbest When your baby has more hair than you 😭 #momsoftiktok #boymom #curlyhaircheck ♬ Idyllic jazz bossa nova with piano and guitar(1298871) - TAKANORI ONDA

Unsurprisingly, some folks have been hit with a twinge of (lighthearted) jealousy of Lucio’s luscious locks. As one person joked, “Baby got an entire roller set and I’m sitting here bald. You win, kid.”

Another business-minded viewer saw a lucrative opportunity, and wrote. “Get that baby a shampoo contract.” Seriously, couldn’t you just see him in a commercial with a fan blowing that mane, Beyoncé style?

The term “placenta perm” is an informal term used to describe the curly or wavy hair pattern that some babies are born with due to the presence of lanugo—a fine, soft hair that covers the developing fetus during the second trimester of pregnancy to keep it warm.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Lanugo typically falls off in the last eight weeks of pregnancy, mixing in with amniotic fluid and becoming part of its first food, and, therefore, shall be part of its first poop after birth (the more you know). However, some babies, like Lucio, don’t lose all of theirs. Experts aren’t exactly sure why this happens, though it’s generally believed that genetics, prenatal development, and hormone levels play the biggest roles.

In an interview with Newsweek, Perry further shared that while no signs of Kciso hair popped up during any ultrasounds, there were other “old wives’ tale” omen, including an itchy stomach and some acid reflux. Hence why someone quipped, "I know that heartburn was killing you" in the comments.

Perry admitted that Lucio’s unique character is of being “super curly in the front and straighter in the back”—which makes sense, as most curly-haired folks have different levels of curliness on their noggin—makes things a little harder to style, but luckily grandma is mostly in charge of that.


@jchellestryingherbest He thinks hiding behind his hair gives him an excuse to act like he don’t hear me 🙄 #momsoftiktok #boymom #toddlermom ♬ Suavemente - Elvis Crespo

"My mom is the master braider for him," Perry said. "He will get fussy if I try to touch his hair, but will sit just perfectly for grandma!

Regardless, that iconic look is worth all the fuss in the world.

And if you’re wondering. No, there are zero plans to cut Lucio’s hair. Until he asks for it, that is.

Sometimes what makes us unique takes time to discover and cultivate. And other times, we are simply born with it.

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Pop Culture

Woman gives outrageous performance of Blink-182 karaoke with no idea Tom DeLonge is watching

He looked slightly bewildered.

via Journalist 2nd Class Danny Lester/Wikimedia Commons

Blink-182 on a nuclear submarine.

Monica Gill, dressed in a long shirt with a bikini printed on it, took the mic at a bar in Palm Springs, California, recently and gave a raucous performance of “All the Small Things” by pop punk legends, Blink-182. During the performance she gave an exaggerated “emo scream” for one of the song’s memorable lines, line “work sucks, I know.” It was all fun until after her performance, a man filming her told Gill and her friends that Blink-182 singer Tom DeLonge, who co-wrote the track with bassist Mark Hoppus, was watching the entire performance.

In the video taken by a man named Kyle, DeLonge experiences a range of emotions during the song, from some slight head nods to amusement to complete bewilderment. He had to have been wondering if she knew that he was in the audience and was mocking the song or just having fun, completely unaware he was watching. “She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends, and they lost their minds,” Kyle captioned his video.

@websitelandlord

She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends and they lost their minds. #blink182 #tomdelonge #coachella @Tom DeLonge @blink-182

Kyle says that while he was recording the performance, it was clear she didn’t know DeLonge was in the bar watching her. “I noticed that she started singing in a big way too, but I saw that her eyes were looking at her friends the whole time,” he told Today.com. “I had a feeling she didn’t know, because none of her friends were looking over at Tom DeLonge or anything. So I was like, I think I should probably tell them.”

Kyle later uploaded another video of the performance where Monica gives the “Work sucks!” line all she has.

@websitelandlord

Replying to @Amy Lynn I wish I had more. This is the only other clip I got. #coachella #blink182 #Coachella2025 @Tom DeLonge

After the song, Gill and her friends talked to DeLonge, whose body language seemed a little standoffish. “I kind of blacked out a little bit because I was so starstruck,” Gill says. “I just remember saying to him, ‘I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t have made a mockery out of your song.”

TikTok · Kyle | Website Landlord

tom delonge, blink 182, palm springs california, karaoke, monica gill, barsTikTok · Kyle | Website Landlordwww.tiktok.com

3912 likes, 69 comments. “Replying to @GinaLynn480 this is a photo of her running over to @Tom DeLonge after I told them he was sitting right there.”

Blink-182 has had a resurgence over the past few years. In 2015, DeLonge left the band to focus on his work with UFOs and was replaced by Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio. After nearly 8 years apart, DeLong re-joined Blink and the band released the number one album One More Time… and its follow-up, a deluxe edition, One More Time… Part-2. This summer, the band plans to embark on another U.S. tour.

Here, Hoppus shares how he and DeLonge reconnected after his cancer diagnosis and got the band’s classic line-up back together.

@z100newyork

Have you experienced this kind of relationship with an old friend? ❤️‍🩹 #MarkHoppusOnElvis #MBInterviewLounge Mark Hoppus delves into his complex relationship with Blink-182 bandmate Tom DeLonge, and how, ultimately, his cancer diagnosis allowed them to reconnect. @iHeartRadio @Mark

DeLonge has made headlines over the last few years not for his bands Blink-182 and Angels & Airwaves, but for his work on UFOs. In 2015, he founded the To The Stars Academy of Arts & Sciences to explore the phenomenon. His efforts contributed to the release of declassified Navy videos of unidentified objects. During a 2023 Congressional hearing on UFOs, DeLonge and his organization were commended for their work on bringing attention to the controversial subject.

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