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Kristen Bell's 'honest parenting approach' could help other parents.

Parents sometimes withhold honest information to protect their kids, but that may not be the best approach.

Kristen Bell; parenting; open communication; hard topics; honest conversations
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Kristen Bell's honest parenting approach could help other parents.

Let's be honest here for a minute.

There are tough conversations that are just plain ol' uncomfortable for parents to have with their children. Some parents would rather deflect difficult questions or give a very made-up, childlike answer. For example, a parent might tell a child babies come from storks or they give them out at the hospital, just to avoid the topic of sex.

The thought is usually that the child is too young to know actual information about the difficult topic, so in a fit of panic, the parent makes something up. But as a licensed therapist with a degree in child development, I can tell you kids typically only ask questions they're ready to hear the answer to. In fact, they're really good at letting you know when you over-explain because they'll either change the subject or become obviously disinterested.

Actress Kristen Bell made headlines recently for her approach to discussing difficult topics with her children. She's honest with her kids, even about their father's addiction and recovery. Bell appeared in the magazine Real Simple and explained that there's nothing off the table to discuss with her two daughters, Delta, 8, and Lincoln, 9 1/2.

"I know it's shocking, but I talk to my kids about drugs, and the fact that their daddy is an addict and he's in recovery, and we talk about sex," she says. "There are all these 'hard topics' that don't have to be if you give the person on the other end your vulnerability and a little bit of credit," Bell told Real Simple. Being completely honest with children can be shocking to some parents, Bell noted in the interview.

Certainly, complete honesty comes with the caveat of delivering the information in an age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate way. But why do parents shy away from honesty when it comes to talking to kids about hard topics? Well, in my experience, it's often because it makes the parent uncomfortable or they're so worried about getting it wrong that they put off answering, thus creating anxiety-inducing anticipation.

Parents don't want to accidentally mess up their kids and they also don't want to expose them to things they don't think they're ready for. And sometimes things pop up unexpectedly that parents simply don't have a choice about when it comes to having hard conversations.

"There are many things that children don't yet understand, and exposing them to complex topics early on can help both their emotional and intellectual development," Alicia Robins from the Institute for Childhood Preparedness wrote. Being truthful also helps encourage children to be open and honest in return because there's been a reciprocal exchange of information and feelings from an early age.

A 2022 study of Indigenous families found that being honest with children created more resilience, quality relationships and overall life satisfaction. But when looking at parents who practiced less open communication, including lying, children were less likely to be resilient and had an increased risk of trauma symptoms in adolescence.

While experts aren't saying you should tell your children all the nitty gritty details of topics, they are saying that age-appropriate honesty is best, even when the topics are hard.

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via rubyyvillarreal/TikTok and Adele Morris/Pixabay

Parents are debating over whether to give children "adult" or "baby" names.

The names we choose to give our children can significantly impact their lives. Multiple studies from across the globe have found that a person’s name can influence their employment, social and economic outcomes.

Unfortunately, humans make snap judgments about one another, and having an unusual name can lead people to make unflattering assumptions. “We’re hardwired to try to figure out in a heartbeat whether or not we want to trust somebody, whether we want to run from somebody,” Northwestern University researcher David Figlio said, according to Live Science.

However, an increasing number of parents are giving their children non-traditional names to help them stand out. “Parents are trying to be original, almost branding their kids in an era where names are viewed on the same level as Twitter handles or a website URL,” writer Sabrina Rogers-Anderson said.

Ruby, a mother on TikTok, took a hard stance on parents giving their children names that sound childish in a post that’s received over 11 million views. Ruby says she named her kids as “adults, not babies” hoping they would never “outgrow” their names.

@rubyyvillarreal

#stitch with @nikkiruble love having nicknames as they are younger and it doesnt mean they will perfer it over their name as they get older. Just gives them options 🤷🏻‍♀️ #nicknames #babynames #babytok #adultnames #pregnancytiktok #toddlersoftiktok #momtok #momlife #babynames #babyname

“The whole concept when I was trying to look for a name and choose a name for her is I did not want her to outgrow her name,” she said in the viral video. “I wanted the name to fit her as a baby, as a toddler, as a child, and into adulthood. So, it's like I really am happy with what I ended up with naming her and it just fits her so well.”

She captioned the video, “love having nicknames as they are younger and it doesn’t mean they will prefer it over their name as they get older. Just gives them options.”

People in the comments responded with modern names they think that kids will outgrow.

"My name is Koazy and I’m here for a job interview," Stalker joked. "Hello sir, I am Bluey Mason Garrison! I was called in for a job interview last Tuesday," Pastel Purr added.

"I can’t imagine knowing [a] 30-year-old named Emma or Posie," Mikey wrote.

However, a lot of people commented that names that seem like they’ll be outgrown will sound fine in the future when those names are popular with the new generation. “Kids grow up with their generation having their own names on trend. They will be normal adult names when they are grown,” Kerry wrote.

“Names grow with the generation,” Lauren added. “The name Dennis sounded like a baby name once too. Names grow up just like generations.”

@rubyyvillarreal

Replying to @19eighty_5 my kids name and the process 😬 #babynames #nicknames #babytok #adultnames #momsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #pregnancytiktok #toddlersoftiktok #babyname #babyfever

In a follow-up video, Ruby shared the names she gave her children. Her girl is named Karla Esmerelda and her boy is called Deluca.

“I just really liked how simple, how bold, and strong that the name by itself just really kind of is. Doing some research names with the letter K tend to be like very bold and powerful names, so I really wanted it with a K and not with a C,” she said.

She named her son Deluca, after a doctor on “Grey’s Anatomy.” She said she chose the name because there was nothing to connect it to, and it sounded “nice.”


This article originally appeared on 4.26.23

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