upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Body Image

People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

Man smiling behind heart hands
via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Visit Sweden
True

It’s no secret that modern life is stressful. Burnout is an epidemic. The World Health Organization boldly stated its dedicated efforts to help people improve their health and well-being through nature.

And thanks to a new initiative, Sweden is stepping up to offer a new holistic remedy: a physician-prescribed visit to Sweden, aka “The Swedish Prescription”.

“We have made great strides in making nature/social/culture prescription a more integral part of public health in the United States– but there is still so much more to be done,” said Dr. Stacy Stryer, Associate Medical Director for Park RxAmerica.“I welcome Sweden’s initiative and hope it will help break down institutional and organizational barriers, ultimately benefiting all patients.”

AdvertisementPatients can escape to Sweden’s pristine environment for true respite. Backed by scientific data and research from Yvonne Forsell, Senior Professor at Karolinska Institutet, healthcare professionals can prescribe Sweden as a destination where patients engage in non-medical treatments and outdoor activities to ease their ailments and offer a fresh reset.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Restore body and mind with the Swedish ritual of alternating ice baths and saunas. Swim, hike or forage through silent forests, lakes, parks and nature reserves – or simply sit in the stillness. Witness the Northern Lights dancing across winter skies, or soak up the calm of the summer midnight sun. In Stockholm, Europe’s clean-air capital, take a deep breath and feel the difference.

Or skip the great outdoors and spend time embracing Sweden’s unique cultural practices. “Our cozy fika tradition [Sweden’s daily pause for coffee and conversation], our “lagom”-balanced lifestyle [the idea of “not too much, not too little”] and our easily accessible nature are a soothing balm for body and mind,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

Sit back in front of a masterpiece in one of Sweden’s many art museums, or head out to a live music event after browsing concert options on Swedish-founded Spotify. You might catch chart-topping hits from producer Max Martin or discover the country’s thriving metal scene. Call it an early – or late – night, and enjoy restorative sleep in Sweden’s cool night air.

Sweden is the therapeutic destination your health has been craving. Learn more about “The Swedish Prescription” and its benefits for your mental and physical health here.

Image courtesy of Reddit/Slow-moving-sloth

Foods like casseroles were popular during the 1970s.

All things old are new again—and the same goes for classic recipes.

For those who grew up during the 1970s (that's Baby Boomers and Generation Jones), staple dishes that were served at the dinner table are being rediscovered on Reddit by newer generations looking for filling, comforting, and affordable meals.

According to JSTOR, actress Liza Minelli first coined "comfort food" back in 1970. Minelli told food columnist Johna Blinn, "Comfort food is anything you just yum, yum, yum."

Meals from the 1970s are nostalgic and also budget friendly. Try making one of these comforting recipes from Redditors that will fill you up and not break the bank.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tuna casserole

"I LITERALLY made a tuna casserole last night & had the leftovers for lunch today." - Disastrous-Soup-5413, RogerClyneIsAGod2

Turkey (or chicken) tetrazzini

"Tetrazzini is a creamy pasta dish with turkey (or chicken) chicken, mushrooms, and cheese." - Disastrous-Soup-5413

Liver and onions

"Liver and onions, mashed potatoes and a green salad made with iceberg lettuce, tomatoes cut in wedges, cucumber slices .. peeled and miracle whip salad dressing." - Kaktusblute

Quiche Lorraine

"A family favorite quiche recipe from the 1970’s. The secret? Half a cup of mayonnaise and an unreasonable quantity of cheese. My mom uses sweet onion instead of green onion, but otherwise made as written:

1/2 c. real mayonnaise
1/2 c. milk
2 eggs
1 Tbsp. corn starch
1 1/2 c. cubed cooked ham
1 1/2 c. (about 1/2 pound) chopped Swiss cheese
1/3 c. sliced green onion
Dash pepper
1 unbaked 9" pastry shell

Mix together real mayonnaise, milk, eggs and corn starch until smooth. Stir in ham, cheese, onion and pepper. Turn into pastry shell. Bake in 350 degree Fahrenheit oven 35-40 minutes until golden brown on top and knife inserted comes out clean." - banoctopus

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Cheese fondue

"For fondue, you can go in a few different directions. Cubed crusty bread is one of the classic ways to dip into cheese fondue, but you could use fruits, vegetables, chunks of cooked or cured sausages, so long as they will keep their structural integrity." - Bluecat72

Meatloaf and baked potatoes

"A basic meatloaf is ground beef, minced onions, bread crumbs, an egg and a squirt of ketchup for moisture, salt, pepper, garlic powder.. whatever you like. Get your hands in there and squish it all together until thoroughly mixed. Form into a vague loaf shape on a pan and bake at 350 for an hour. Poke a couple potatoes with a fork and cook them in the microwave for 5-7 minutes. Enjoy a meatloaf sandwich with mustard for lunch the next day 😋." - yblame

Pork chops with rice and cream of mushroom soup

"Brown the chops, take them out of the pan, pour in rice, soup and water, stir to combine. Put the pork chops on top. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until rice is cooked. Tossed green salad: iceberg lettuce, chopped scallions, tomatoes, cucumbers, Wishbone Italian Dressing." - hicjacket

Salmon croquettes

"Salmon croquettes were a staple of my childhood. Canned salmon, saltine crackers, and an egg. We called them croquettes but naw, they were shaped into salmon patties." - DazzlingBullfrog9, throwawaytodaycat

Mexican casserole

"Brown ground beef, stir in a can of tomato sauce and 1 sliced green onion. Mix together a cup of sour cream, a cup of cottage cheese and a can of chopped green chilies. In a 9x13 pan, layer crushed tortilla chips, meat, cream mixture and grated Colby-jack or Colby cheese. Repeat layers. Bake until hot and bubbly." - Open-Gazelle1767

Hamburger Stroganoff

"One pound ground beef, 1 package Lipton onion soup mix, 1 can cream of mushroom or chicken soup, sour cream. Brown the ground beef, stir in the can of soup and soup mix. Stir in the sour cream until it looks right...I think it's a half pint, but maybe a whole pint. Serve over rice for the 2 kids who eat rice and egg noodles for the one kid who doesn't." - Open-Gazelle1767

Shake 'N Bake Chicken

"Shake’n Bake chicken or pork chops. 'And I helped!' Preheat oven to 400F. Moisten chicken with water. Place breasts in Shake-n-Bake shaker bag. Shake the bag vigorously to coat the chicken. Bake for 20 minutes if boneless, 45 minutes if it does have bones." - Karin58

@allrecipes

Where are all the Shake n Bake girlies? 🍗 Today @nicolesperfectbite is showing you how to make this classic bread coating at home—and dare we say better than the original? 👀 #instafood #food #foodie #shakenbake #bake #chicken #breadcrumbs #paprika #garlic #onion #powder #meat #breading #bread #easy #easyrecipe #recipe #quickandeasy #weeknightdinner

Grilled cheese and tomato soup

"Still my favorite thing to eat, but now I make my own tomato bisque, my own bread, and use Gouda or cheddar. Back then Mom made this for Friday lunch: Campbell's tomato soup (made with milk) and the grilled cheese was two slices of five-loaves-for-a-dollar white bread with Velveeta, grilled with Miami Maid margarine in the Revere Ware skillet." - Mindless_Pop_632, mulberryred

Pork sausage and rice

"I grew up in the 70s and my mother made this sausage and rice dish at least once a month. The recipe is from Peg Bracken's I Hate To Cook Book. Crumble 1 to 1 1/2 pounds of pork sausage (hamburger will do, but pork is better) into a skillet and brown it. Pour off the fat. Add:

1 green pepper, chopped
2 green onions, chopped
2 or 3 celery stalks, chopped
2 c. chicken consommé or bouillon
1 c. raw rice
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. salt

Put on the lid and let it simmer at lowest possible heat for 1 hour." - officerbirb

Sloppy Joes

"Classic Sloppy Joes. My family had these regularly in the ‘70s." - ThatPtarmiganAgain

Pop Culture

24 English words that mean the complete opposite of what they originally meant

There was a time when we'd want this story to be egregious and hopefully not awesome.

Fizzle used to mean fart?

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at someone using “literally” to mean “figuratively,” you’re not alone. Every generation has its linguistic hills to die on. Words that, to some ears, have drifted too far from their “real” meaning.

But here’s the thing: words have been evolving for as long as there have been humans to speak them. Language moves the way people move, shifting through time, place, and culture. And along the way, it reinvents itself in some pretty fascinating ways.

Think about how “awful” once meant “awe-inspiring,” how “nice” used to mean “foolish,” or how “girl” once referred to any young person, not just a female one. The English we speak today is like a living history book, rewritten every time we open our mouths.

Here are a few more terrific examples (and by that we mean in the modern sense of “excellent,” not “terrifying”) that show just how dramatically English has changed. And how, in the end, everything turns out just fine.

Artificial

This one still mostly means what it has always meant, in that it refers to something not naturally made. However, it originally implied some kind of artfully or skillfully made object. Now when we say something is artificial, we are almost certainly not praising it.

Awful & Awesome

Awe” comes from either the old Norse word “agi” or the old Middle English word “ege.” Both meant terror or fear. Therefore, both “awesome” and “awful” once meant more or less the same thing: something that inspires a fearful reverence. Dread mixed with deep admiration, that kind of thing. Something awe-SOME had a little less oomph than some aw-FUL, but otherwise they carried the same meaning.

In that sense, today’s version of “awful,” i.e. something that utterly dreadful, is truer to its original iteration than “awesome,” usually denoting something generally positive.

words, etymology, language, history, cool history, word nerds, english, english language, interesting Awesome gif media1.giphy.com

Bemused

Its old meaning was "to confuse, or to stupefy,” as if you hit someone with some kind of magic spell. Merriam-Webster still defines “bemuse” this way, but colloquially we use it to convey amused pondering.

And you know what? Considering there are plenty of synonyms for "confused, we can afford to let this one go.

Bully

Crazy to think that a word originally meaning “sweetheart” now takes on a nearly opposite meaning…unless your sweetheart likes to throw you in lockers and give you swirlies. One theory is that it became associated with “ruffian” because a bully may have been a “protector of a prostitute.” Still, those that still say “bully for you!” know that it can still take on a positive context.

Condescending

In the 18th century, it was seen as a kind, generous, humble gesture when an upper class person was kind enough to talk to a lower class person instead of ignoring them or treating them like a servant (what a concept!). By the 19th century, however, the word had already developed the negative connotation we use today.

Egregious

Egregious comes from the Latin ex grege, meaning "rising above the flock." Therefore, it meant exceptional or distinguished. You could argue that today egregious still means something exceptional…just exceptionally bad.

Factoid

Factoids used to be public statements that seemed like facts, but weren’t necessarily. Fact-adjacent, if you will. Or better yet, they were bits of fake news. Now we liken factoids to fairly unimportant bits of trivia. But they’re at least accurate!

Fathom

It can be hard to fathom how this verb went from meaning “to encircle with one’s arms” to meaning understanding something complex, until you know that outstretched arms could be used to measure a fathom, which is equal to about six feet (usually in term of depth of water). Once you had a grasp on what a fathom of water was, you could better measure the depth of the sea. We might not be as seafaring as our ancestors, but we are still trying to get a better idea of the world around us.

Fizzle

The verb fizzle once referred to the act of producing quiet flatulence. In the mid-1800s, scientists began using "fizzle" to describe the sound of air or gas escaping from a narrow opening, which led to its application for a weak or sputtering noise. From there, American college students took it on to convey something that came to a sudden failure or stop after a good start, usually an answer to a professor’s question. And now, we use it to describe things that lose their gusto gradually before ending entirely. Quite a journey, for a fart word.

words, etymology, language, history, cool history, word nerds, english, english language, interesting Smiling dog media0.giphy.com

Girl

Once upon a time, “girl”, aka “gyrle” was just a gender-neutral term for a child. As for how it came to mean young woman specifically: In his book An Analytic Dictionary of the English Etymology, Anatoly Liberman noted that German words starting with “g” or “k” and ending in “r” tended to refer to living creatures “considered immature, worthless, or past their prime.” Cool, cool, cool.

Guy

This word, or eponym, rather, “Guy Fawkes,” is the fella who was part of a failed attempt to blow up British Parliament in 1605 who folks used to burn in effigy. Before “guy” just meant any ol’dude, it referred to a grotesque or scary person.

Hussy:

Interestingly enough, hussy was once just a shortened version of “housewife.” It certainly makes more sense when you look at "husewif," the Middle English spelling. Over time, the shortened version became an insult to unmarried women as though any unmarried woman, and therefore not a housewife, weren’t a full woman.

Matrix

Long before Neo took the red pill, the word “matrix,” coming from the Latin word mater (mother), meant "womb,” uterus,” or even “breeding animal.” It makes that fetus pod he breaks out of all the more disturbing.

Meat

In Old English, “meat” was just a general term for “solid food.” In the Middle Ages, the meaning began to narrow, and the term "flesh-meat" was used to specify the animal flesh used for food (which is pretty metal). So technically, you can enjoy “meat and drink” even with you vegan friends.

words, etymology, language, history, cool history, word nerds, english, english language, interesting meat media1.giphy.com

Moot Point

Originally, a moot was a formal gathering where leaders could all sit down and confer with each other, particularly over legal matters. So anything “mooted” was deemed an issue important enough to be tabled for group discussion, or even could mean “undecided and open for debate.” By the early 20th century, we see it transform to mean something not worth debating at all.

Naughty

The original “naughty” meant you were poor and had nothing, or “naught” in the way of riches. Thankfully today we use it to denote indulgent, sinfully enjoyable things. Because that’s way more fun.

Nice

This word arrived in the English language by way of Old French, where it meant foolish or weak (which makes you wonder why there’s a city in France named Nice…). During the middle ages it evolved to mean shy, reserved, or fastidious. Interestingly, it wasn’t until the mid- to late 1700s—those qualities respectable were beginning to be seen as respectable by society—that the word started to take on more pleasant meanings. Of course, we now sometimes use nice to describe someone who is pleasant enough, but a bit milquetoasty…which is kind of a full circle moment.

Nimrod

We have Bugs Bunny to thank for this one. Nimrod was the name of a skilled hunter and powerful king in the Bible. However, when Bugs sarcastically referred to Elmer Fudd as a “nimrod” in Looney Tunes, people that didn’t understand the reference thought it meant “dumb” so it changed how the word was used. At least, that’s how the most popular theory goes.

words, etymology, language, history, cool history, word nerds, english, english language, interesting Bigs Bunny. media0.giphy.com

Nonplussed

In the 16th century, to be nonplussed was to be surprised or confused. As a North American I had to reread the sentence because it didn’t make sense for the person to be unperturbed. Somehow, today we take this to mean someone that is not only not confused, but unperturbed entirely.

Peruse

If you were to peruse something in the 15th century, you’d be examining it very carefully, which is quite different from the casual, nonchalant scanning we understand it to be nowadays.

Quell

Quelling something or someone used to mean killing it, rather just subduing it. Please don’t quell anything the old-fashioned way.

Silly

In Middle English, the word seely meant happy. Blissful even.

But by the time it became silly, it had come to mean someone helpless, and therefore pitiable. From there it came to mean naive, and has since arrived at its modern meaning of ignorant or foolish.

Fun fact: In 1861, during the months of August and September, journalists would compensate for a lack of hard news by filling up newspapers with trivial stories. This period would become known as the “silly season.”

Terrific

It’s easy to see how in the 1660s, terrific meant something that filled you with terror. What’s really confounding is how it morphed into meaning something magnificent, but here we are.

Wench

Similar to girl, the Old English word wenchel referred to children of either sex. When shortened to wench, it denoted a “female child” specifically. However, its root word is likely related to the Old English wancol, meaning "unsteady" or "weak.” From here you can see how it came to mean an unsteady, and therefore lewd or wanton woman.

words, etymology, language, history, cool history, word nerds, english, english language, interesting Wench meaning media0.giphy.com

So the next time someone “literally dies laughing” or calls something “terrific,” maybe give them a pass. Words change, and that’s part of their magic. Who knows? A century from now, people might think “vibe check” referred to some kind of medieval ritual.

Culture

Generation Jones explains their major cultural differences with Boomers

"Think of us as a generation that got the tail end of the party but had to clean up the mess."

Generation Jones points out the biggest cultural differences between them and Boomers.

Generation Jones, people born from 1954-1964, is considered a 'micro-generation' between Boomers and Generation X. Though typically lumped in with Boomers, there are some pretty distinct differences between them.

In an online community of Generation Jones-ers, a member named @WalkingHorse, prompted those in Generation Jones to discuss how their upbringing differed from Boomers in a post titled "What is and who are Generation Jones. Step inside...".

"We're often described as pragmatic idealists—raised on big dreams but tempered by economic recessions and a sense of lowered expectations compared to the Boomers’ post-war prosperity," they wrote. "Think of us a generation that got the tail end of the party but had to clean up the mess."

How Generation Jones differs from Boomers

It inspired many Generation Jones members to share their thoughts and opinions. These are some of the major cultural differences those in Generation Jones have with Boomers:

"We were too young to fully participate in the counterculture of the '60s but old enough to feel its aftershocks." —@WalkingHorse

Gen Jones men also signed up for the selective service, but were not drafted as the Vietnam war had ended." —@tedshreddon

"Boomers had Elvis and The Beatles. We had Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd." —@Scr33ble

"First teenage generation to experience the Space Shuttle launch. First teen generation to watch music videos in between movies on cable TV then the birth of MTV. We laughed when hearing that golf obsessed President Gerald Ford would routinely slice or hook a ball into a crowd of spectators. Then laugh at Chevy Chase for mimicking our clumsy commander in Chief. We watched our parents go through the fuel rationing days where you could only buy gas for you car if the last digit on the plate was an odd or even number. We counted days along with the media on how long the Iran hostages were being held. We lost John Lennon while not in that sweet spot age to have experienced the musical British Invasion of the 60’s. Instead, MTV opened to floodgates to the Brit-pop invasion of Duran Duran followed closely by big hair, neon clothing and wondering why saying ‘too hip’ was all that and a bag of chips. Best part was that college tuition was sorta affordable." —@contrivancedevice

There for the start of major social change

"Not mentioned yet, but we were present for the rise of gay rights. Went to my first gay bar at 19. Music, especially Disco, was infused with pride and acceptance and coming out. 'We are Family', 'I’m Coming Out'. Queen and the Village People, etc. The rise of 'women’s music' like Holly Near and Chris Williamson. Activists like Harvey Milk and later ACT UP. We were young adults when AIDS hit and the fight for treatment led to a huge wave of coming out. We lost a whole generation of gay men to that plague. 😢" —@BldrJanet

"Boomers remember where they were when President Kennedy died. We remember where we were when John Lennon died." —@KJPratt

1950s kids, 1960s culture, MTV era, Vietnam aftermath, Led Zeppelin, gay rights history, disco music, Woodstock album, cassette tapes, space shuttle launch, Iran hostage crisis, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Freddie Mercury, cultural nostalgia, postwar generation RHCP on cassette is peak Generation Jones.Photo credit: Canva

"Musically speaking, I think we were blessed. Our musical heyday had everything. Our moms played Elvis the king on the radio, and we had Elvis Costello. The Stones and The Who transverse generations. We are old enough to remember Joan Baez and Bob Dylan pre-Chalamet, not to mention Freddie and Elton before their bio-pics. And Johnny Cash too. And shout out to the poster girl of the 80’s Cyndi Lauper (I got special love for her as a race tracker cause she walked hots at Belmont Park.)" —@Binky-Answer896

"We gave a hoot, and didn’t pollute!" —@Awkwardimplemet698

"We are the generation that got to see the war every evening at dinner 'live via satellite'. —@blurtlebaby

"Think: 45s—albums—-8 tracks—cassettes—-CDs—-Streaming! I’ve had the Rolling Stones on all!" —@NOLALaura

A generation marked by change and chaos

 Woodstock album, cassette tapes, space shuttle launch, Iran hostage crisis, Elvis Costello, Cyndi Lauper, Freddie Mercury, cultural nostalgia, postwar generation Gen Jones was there for the launch of the tech revolution. Photo credit: Canva

"I always said that I experienced it all...born in 1957. I listened to my older siblings music. I stole my sisters Woodstock album when she went off to college. I still have it. I recall all the assassinations from JFK and MLK.I saw RFK being killed on live tv.(at least I think I did), I remember the chaos of the Vietnam war, the Chicago riots, the Nixon mess. I recall the beginning of the environmental fight, Sesame Street and the moon launch. Computers, and floppy discs, cell phones that came in small cases that would plug into the car. So much good stuff. So much chaos." —@mammaV55

"There’s a sure way to know if you’re Gen J. Were you deadly afraid of quicksand?!" —@NOLALaura

This article originally appeared earlier this year.

Typographic mural by Jeff Canham using the first nine words of the NATO's phonetic alphabet

When you have to spell a name over the phone, you've likely had to use something akin to the NATO alphabet, even if you haven't used the exact same words. "E as in elephant, D as in David," etc. When we watch movies involving airline pilots or military personnel, we often hear the real NATO alphabet, which starts Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, and so on.

Using words to represent letters was a brilliant idea to solve the problem of trying to spell things out over early telephone wires, which often made for crackly connections where letters could easily be misunderstood. But the full history of the NATO alphabet is much more fascinating than one might guess, as BBC journalist and self-described "word nerd" Rob Watts explained in a video.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Watts explains that the 26 words of the NATO alphabet were "meticulously chosen as part of a secretive process" after WWII. The idea began with the invention of the telephone, when a version of a spelling alphabet was created within the telecom industry. Soon militaries around the world were using their own versions of such an alphabet, which resulted in the rather chaotic reality of every different branch of the armed service in Britain and the United States utilizing entirely different versions.

Clearly, a standard needed to be created, and WWII was a prime opportunity. However (and perhaps unsurprisingly), the two countries couldn't agree on what alphabet to use. Watts explains that a report for the U.S. Air Force later described the compromise that was rushed through: “The Generals and the Admirals went down the list taking first a U.S. and then a U.K. preference to complete the list and get on with the war.” What they came up with was known as the ABLE BAKER alphabet.

able baker alphabet, nato alphabet, spelling, phonetics, linguistics The ABLE BAKER alphabet was used by the U.S. and British militaries prior to the NATO alphabet.Image by Canva

So that took care of the military. But around the same time as the end of WWII, the aviation industry boomed, and in 1944, a convention resulted in 52 nations establishing an international body that would oversee non-military aviation. The International Civil Aviation Organization, or ICAO, (which still exists today) adopted the ABLE BAKER alphabet at first, but it soon became clear that that alphabet didn't work very well for the members of the ICAO who didn't speak English.

The alphabet needed words that had more universal appeal. A linguist at the University of Montreal, Professor Jean-Paul Vinay, was tasked with coming up with a new alphabet, which had to meet five criteria:

1. It had to be a live word in each of the three working languages of ICAO—English, Spanish, and French.

2. It had to be easily pronounced and recognized by airmen of all languages.

3. It needed to have good radio transmission and readability characteristics.

4. It had to have a similar spelling in at least English, French, and Spanish, and the initial letter must be the letter the word identifies.

5. It had to be free from any association with objectionable meanings.


alphabet, nato alphabet, spelling, phonetics, linguistics, ICAO alphabet Spelling alphabets are not phonetic alphabets. upload.wikimedia.org

That's how we ended up with so many Greek letters, including Alpha, which Vinay spelled ALFA to make it more phonetic. He also made Juliet more phonetic for the French by adding an extra T. A few changes were requested after Vinay submitted his alphabet, which resulted in POLKA becoming PAPA and ZEBRA becoming ZULU.

That fixed everything, right? Sure, except that most people who had to use it hated it. Many of the words were longer than the ABLE BAKER alphabet, which had many one-syllable words, whereas GOLF was the only one-syllable word in the ICAO alphabet. However, those multi-syllable words proved more effective, since a small glitch in communications would be less likely to make them unintelligible.

The new North Atlantic Treaty Organization, NATO, showed an interest in using the alphabet, so a study was done to make sure that the ALFA BRAVO alphabet really was better than ABLE BAKER. The ICAO commissioned Ohio State University to compare the two alphabets, and the result was clear: ALFA BRAVO wins. However, some additional research showed a few changes were needed, which ultimately resulted in this alphabet finalized in 1956. It's technically the ICAO alphabet but is often referred to as the NATO alphabet.

alphabet, nato alphabet, spelling, phonetics, linguistics, ICAO alphabet ICAO alphabet (also known as the NATO alphabet)IngenieroLoco/Wikimedia Commons

Pretty nifty, eh? People working together with the input of experts and support of research generally leads to helpful progress, and while the NATO alphabet may have its pain points, it's infinitely better than the haphazard way we used to tell people how to spell things clearly. Yay, humans!

You can watch Watts' entire video on his RobWords YouTube page here.

Family

Want your home to be 'the house' for your teens? Mom shares her 4 secret tricks.

There are so many benefits to being "the house" for your teens. Here's how to do it.

Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozens, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to exist somewhere in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed me and all my friends every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house was probably a small price to pay.

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood Want your house to be THE house for teens? These suggestions could help. Photo credit: Canva

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break". I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.

Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood There's a difference between being "the cool house" and being "the house." media0.giphy.com

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood We all miss our teenage metabolism, don't we? Photo credit: Canva

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared in February