George Washington became the first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. Born in 1732, he was raised in Virginia and dedicated to the formation of the United States of America (after previously being called the ‘United Colonies‘.)
Both his military and political service led to Washington developing many deep friendships throughout his life. He died at his Mount Vernon estate in 1799.
“Among his friends, Washington also showed a capacity for intimacy and playfulness that was largely absent from his public persona as Commander-and-Chief and later president,” noted Cassandra Good, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of History Marymount University.
Washington offered his wisdom on developing and maintaining friendships in his personal letters.
George Washington’s friendship advice
Washington had a large family and often shared his sage life experience with his many nieces and nephews. In the early 1780s, his nephew Bushrod Washington was studying law in Philadelphia. He would go on to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, and inherited Mount Vernon (Washington’s famed estate in Virginia) after his uncle’s death.
Washington offered his wisdom on friendship to his nephew Bushrod Washington in a letter dated January 15, 1783:
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence—true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
George Washington’s friendships
Washington friendships were described as “selective, but often long-lasting, loyal, and integral to his public life.”
In a letter dated June 15, 1790 to David Stuart (a man who became Washington’s close friend after he married his step-daughter-in-law), he wrote:
“I can truly say I had rather be at Mount Vernon with a friend or two about me, than to be attended at the Seat of Government by the Officers of State and the Representatives of every Power in Europe… “
Washington gained friends through many outlets, including his Virginia social circle and his military service in the Revolutionary War. During the American Revolution, Washington met and became close friends with General Henry Knox, who would become Secretary of State.
The two maintained a 25-year friendship, and Washington wrote of Knox: “there is no man in the United States with whom I have been in habits of greater intimacy, no one whom I have loved more sincerely, nor any for whom I have had a greater friendship.”
Washington’s friendship with Thomas Jefferson
One of Washington’s most notable friendships was with fellow Founding Father Thomas Jefferson. According to author Francis D. Cogliano’s book A Revolutionary Friendship (published by Harvard University Press), the two were friends for 30 years.
Washington seemed to take his own advice on friendship when it came to Jefferson. They bonded over their love of theater, agriculture and architecture.
“Their relationship evolved slowly, but they became close friends,” Cogliano wrote. “Each respected the other’s qualities, and they worked productively together for twenty years.”
Unfortunately, the two would become estranged in 1797 after a letter Jefferson wrote a friend with “unflattering references to Washington” was ultimately published in Europe and America.
