Dad struggling through a painful divorce shares a comforting letter from his daughter
"Hey dad, I know you are going through a hard time right now and I just want you to know that I will be here for you forever & always."
Depressed dad going through a divorce
Divorce is a terribly difficult process for families to go through. It can evoke feelings of despair, anxiety and loss. People also have to deal with emotional abandonment, the pain of being disconnected from children and financial stress.
Going through a divorce is so stressful that, according to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, it is the second most stressful life event right after the death of a spouse.
A Reddit user with the username stefanfection shared a powerful letter his daughter wrote that's given him hope while going through a painful divorce. “I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time,” stefanfection wrote on the MadeMeSmile forum. “I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps. I just gained custody of her.”
He uploaded a picture of a letter written by his daughter.
I went through a divorce recently and have been having a rough time. I woke up to this this morning, from my daughter. It also helps I just gained custody of her.
by u/stefanfection in MadeMeSmile
The letter reads:
"Hey dad, I know you are going through a hard time right now and I just want you to know that I will be here for you forever & always. I hope you become happy again because I would love to do a ton of fun things with you in the *summer* I love you tons & just remember that... I will always be here for you."
The post inspired people to send messages of support for the father. The most popular was from Icouldusesomerock, who wrote: “She loves you more than words can express. You’ve done a fine job sir keep it up.”
“Thank you, I try my best and so does she. It feels good to hear that from you,” stefanfection responded.
Some people who had lived through divorce took the opportunity to remind stefanfection that it’s not his daughter’s job to be his emotional caretaker. “Remember to tell her it is not her job to take care of you even as you appreciate just how much she loves you,” mmlperiwinkle wrote.
"As a child who lived with unhappy parents who let me become their emotional ‘caregiver’ (at the expense of my identity for a very long time), I found this pretty distressing to read. This seems sweet on the surface but letting a child feel responsible for a parent’s emotions is devastating to the child,” tofuandsardines wrote.
However, stefanfection was adamant that he hadn't placed any additional emotional burdens on his daughter and that they were undergoing therapy. “I have discussed this with her. We are going through therapy and getting all the necessary tools we need,” he wrote. “Although we do stuff together and I try to make it look like everything is the best, she can tell there is hurt. It's just life.”
Others chimed in to remind the father that there is plenty of time during summer vacation to do some epic things with his daughter. A group of Redditors exchanged lines from the theme song to “Phineas and Ferb.”
"There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation
And school comes along just to end it
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Like maybe
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower"
The father’s post shows that even in the darkest times, there are wonderful people in this world who will help lead us to the light. In this case, it was his daughter. Even though no one knows how the situation will turn out, the dad seems to be doing the right thing by going to therapy with his daughter.
According to Psychology Today, up to 33% of children develop behavioral problems after their parents divorce. They can have academic challenges, mental health problems and engage in risky sexual behavior and substance use.
Clinical psychologist Patricia P. Martin tells Mass Live that parents and children should talk to mental health professionals while going through a divorce.
“This gives the children a neutral, supportive space to share the confusion, anger, sadness, frustrations they are feeling and to find constructive ways to deal with these emotions,” Martin told MassLive. “I recommend all children of divorce have at least two or three sessions with a mental health professional as a means of screening for problems as well as providing supportive education.”
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Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm
Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko
Information from the NICABM website regarding the "Window of Tolerance."Photo Credit: The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine 
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Gen Xers and Millennials share 17 of the strangest things their Baby Boomer parents do
"My mom writes her emails in MS Word, then attaches the Word document to the email."
A Baby Boomer couple.
Generational fights have raged since the dawn of time, and a recent spat between Millennials and Baby Boomers is no exception. Baby Boomers, who raised Millennials, accuse the younger generation of being entitled and irresponsible with money. At the same time, Millennials accuse Boomers of having it easier economically while making it harder for those who came after them.
Where is Gen X in the battle? Probably off in the corner somewhere, saying, "Whatever." Aside from the generational sniping, there are some things the older generation does that are just plain baffling to younger people. Whether it's outdated worldviews, a refusal to adapt to modern technology, or a lack of self-awareness, Baby Boomers can do some strange things.
To help the younger folks get over their frustrations with parents from the "Me Generation," a Redditor asked: "What is the most Boomer thing your parents still do?" The stories were pretty funny and relatable, showing that almost everyone with parents over 60 is dealing with the same thing.
Here are 17 of the "strangest" things people's Baby Boomer parents do:
1. Phones on full blast
"Play iPhone slot machine games at full volume in the doctor’s office."
"My dad pretty much exclusively has his phone on speaker, and just walks around in public talking with it at max volume (and talking really loud himself). I’m like 'Dad, the entire supermarket doesn’t want to listen to you, and Uncle Jim complains about how often you have to pee.'"
2. Still using checkbooks
"My mom balances her checkbook every week. They still have a landline."
"And she probably has way more money than you will until she dies!"
3. Email issues
"My mom writes her emails in MS Word, then attaches the Word document to the email."
"Like the email is just the virtual envelope for the digital letter."
4. Restaurant jokes
"All those little restaurant comments.
'Wow, they'll let anyone in here!' when seeing a friend at said restaurant.
'Thanks for having us, not everyone will' to the waiter at the end of the meal.
'As you can see, it was terrible' when the staff takes away the clearly entirely eaten plate.
'You're going to have me floating away in a minute' when more water is put into their glass"
5. Always have to mention race
"Constantly mentioning the race or ethnicity of everyone she mentions. Never with any negative connotation or comment, but usually, there is no reason for it to be relevant to the conversation."
"My Jewish mother will always whisper the word 'black' in case anyone hears her: 'So the nice black man at the hardware store helped me find the right garden hose.'"
6. Googling their Google
"Typing Google on Google before they Google the thing they’re looking for."
"In the Google search bar, they type Google? Lol."
7. Getting a job is a cinch
"Believing you can walk into a business and hand in a resume. If you have a college degree in any field, they'll hire you."
"Just physically hand over your resume to HR or the hiring manager. You'll make a mark and get hired!! Call the office and ask to speak to HR/Hiring Manager."
Any Millennial who argued with their Boomer parents about how hard it is to land a good job should feel vindicated by a 2022 study, which found that most older Millennials didn't secure good jobs until their early 30s, while most Boomers did so in their 20s. "To secure a good job, young adults need to acquire more education and high-quality work experience than was necessary for previous generations," the researchers wrote.
8. Why are they together?
"Stay married forever while they behave like neither one of them can stand each other."
"I'm on the other side of that. After my mom passed, my dad now acts like their marriage was picture perfect and they were the love of each other's lives, even though they couldn't stand each other for at the very least 40 of the 54 years they were married."
9. Collectables or hoarding?
"Think their 'collectibles' are truly valuable."
"My mom insists her Hummels are going to put my kids through college!"
"Mine are the Thomas Kincade paintings. She has a Victorian glass piece that might actually be worth something, but those damn paintings are the real investment."
10. Can you grab the mail?
"Ask me to bring in the mail when they go away for more than 24 hours."
"My parents think everybody is standing at the door waiting for the mailman every day, and don’t believe me when I tell them that some people go days without checking their mail. They think everybody is waiting for the mailman every day because 'somebody might send them a check.' Like, really?"
11. Zero responsibility
"'Well, I guess I was just a bad father.' Yeah. That attitude of anti-responsibility is exactly why 3 out of 4 of your children don't talk to you."
"Ha! Have the same dad, do we?"
12. Comment on people's appearance
"Comment on EVERYBODY’s body/appearance/weight. The first thing my dad does after not seeing me for a year is poke me in the gut and tell me how fat I am."
13. Boomer panic is real
"Literally throwing their hands up in a panic when they don't understand something. Where did they learn that?"
"Or just saying 'well, I don't know', especially when that comes right after you explaining it and showing them how to do something, with them nodding along and asking relevant questions all the way through."
In a video by YourTango, editor Brian Sundholm tried to explain Boomer panic in an empathetic way: "Most of us nowadays know the importance of recognizing and feeling our emotions." Sundholm then quoted therapist Mitzi Bachman, who explained that when people struggle to express their emotions, it can result in an "unhinged" reaction.
14. Annoying Facebook posts
"Post nonsensical rants on Facebook for other boomers to like, share, and comment. Often these rants are political, but not always. Basically cringe-fest."
"Most people won't do it, but share this post if you believe in god and freedom."
"I do NOT give Facebook permission to use my photos and personal information!"
15. Dinner pushers
"While we're eating breakfast. What do you want to do for supper?"
"Can't we enjoy this meal without worrying about the next?"
16. They print everything
"My boomer in-laws print EVERYTHING! The number of times I have said, 'quit wasting ink, email it to me, or text me the link. Or just text me the schedule, don't print it out.' GPS on their phones? Nope...print a map."
"Boomers and their paper man. My dad has finally started using the internet, but he still prints everything he likes. Like he'll see a boat listing on Craigslist and print the entire page, including a massive color photo of it, and he's definitely not going to be buying it either. He's got a stack of papers that is the internet that sits by his recliner. He just sits there with Fox News on (though it's usually muted for some reason, that's a plus) and looks at his papers."
17. Flirting with servers
"My dad is 77 still flirts with the young waitresses. It's f**king weird for everyone."
"He thinks he is in cute old man territory, but he is not."