upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Joy

People are helping introverts by sharing their go-to 'small talk' topics

Here are 14 great ideas.

introverts, small talk, conversation starters
via Pexels

People chatting at a party.

A lot of people feel uncomfortable starting up conversations with strangers in social settings. It’s not that they don’t want to meet people, they’re just not sure what to say.

There's an art to small talk and some people are incredibly at ease starting up a conversation and coming up with things to say. They know how to get things moving without being obvious and seem to do this effortlessly.

A Reddit user named Blugged Bunny asked the online forum “What is your go-to 'small talk' topic with strangers?” and although the question may not have intentionally been to help introverts, there were a lot of great suggestions for people who are uncomfortable making small talk.

It seems the best ideas are questions and statements that are about the current setting and situation. The truly great small talk artists know that the best way into a conversation is to allow the other person to talk about themselves.

It’s also helpful to bring up topics that everyone can speak to whether that’s family, pets, weather, sports or articles of clothing. I once knew a guy who was single and whenever he went out he wore a “Livestrong” bracelet that he got from Lance Armstrong’s cancer charity. He told me that it “Gives women an easy conversation-starter if they want to talk to me. They’ll ask, 'Why are you wearing that? Isn’t Lance Armstrong, a cheater?'" That would begin a great debate over whether Armstrong was such a bad guy, after all he’s done for people with cancer.

Here are 14 of the best go-to small talk topics from the Reddit thread.

1. 

"Make an observation. Literally anything. It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be. It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention. People bullshit about the weather all the time. Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask. ... Let them do the talking. People love talking about themselves. You learn some light-hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too. It works in literally any situation. From an elevator ride to a first date. It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable." — arrocknroll.

2. 

"Have you ever tried Ayahuasca?" — KarmicBreath

This comment kicked off a funny response from Sinsaraly:

"Love this. My friend once spent a few hours in a car with poet Allen Ginsberg. The very first thing he said to her was “what drugs do you do?”

3. 

"The weather is a good one. everyone shares it. I'm a guy and i do not give one shit about professional sports or cars and it's like a social disability." — Mr_Mojo_Risin

4. 

Hobbies. "Pretty much everyone has something they're either super passionate about or really rather good at, so a conversation about hobbies pretty much always moves from 'small talk' to 'genuine interest' pretty damn fast." — Trashpanda692

5.

"Something in our environment that we can both relate to. You have to make it easy for them to give a response. Mild humour usually works as it is light-hearted and unthreatening." — ScallywagsTV2

6.

"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it." — I_Can_See_The_Music

7.

"I try to think of random things. Like a favorite animal or star, talking about something in the room. Usually is stupid dad jokes." — UncreativeGlory

8. 

"I try to come up with questions regarding the situations we are in. Like, 'Hey you know any good place around here to get a decent meal?"' — Chromerix

9. 

"Food. People typically love food. I mention I’m new/newer to an area. And ask them what they like, where they eat out. Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks." — TheProfWife

10. 

"If it’s a woman, I’d compliment them on something I like (bag/shoes/makeup/a book they’re reading) and then try to find common ground for there. For men, I’d try something neutral so it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to hit on them. Perhaps weekend plans, work etc." — llovejoy1234

11. 


"Biggest animal you think you could take in a fight." — RizziJoy

12. 

​"I usually bring up home renovations. Especially if the small talk confined us to a space for quite some time. Like a wedding, business conference etc. I can always find people who are not only working on different parts of their homes, but enjoy talking about them. Learned a thing or two along the line as well!" — Calm-Ad

13. 

"Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?" — HowToDoNot

14. 

"F.O.R.D. Family/Occupation/Recreation/Dreams

Family: Do they have kids? If so, people love to talk about their kids. How many, what ages, what grades are they in in school? If they are older (High School/College) what are they studying? Do they play sports/music? If family is not a comfortable subject (you don't feel like asking about spouse and kids and such) then move on to Occupation
Occupation: What do they do for a living? How long? Do they like it? Did they go to school for it? How did they get into it?
Recreation: What do they like to do in their free time? Hobbies? What sports do they like to watch? Do they play any sports? Do they do anything active? Do they do anything artistic or musical?

Dreams: What are they currently looking forward to in life? Is there a big vacation coming up? Are the kids graduating from School? Are they training for a major athletic event (marathon or some other competition)?

This is usually my go-to when making small talk and it's usually enough to get me to some sort of common ground that our conversation can build off organically." — khamylion


This article originally appeared on 5.5.22

From Your Site Articles
advice
JoyCommunity
Pop Culture

15 years ago, a Russian gymnast was interrupted by her 2-year-old daughter. It became a historic performance.

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.

As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

From Your Site Articles
wholesome
Pop CultureInternet
Pets

Elderly rescue dog can't stop putting random items in his bed, keeping his family entertained

"He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd
Photo credit: Canva

A dog lies in a bed.

Not all dogs are created equal. Some don't get the best start in life and end up in situations where they need rescuing. That was the case for an elderly golden retriever named Duke, who had been returned to a rescue so many times that he was nearly labeled unadoptable. His "bad dog" reputation wasn't due to aggression or destructive behavior. Instead, some might say Duke simply has sticky paws.

The golden retriever is something of a canine kleptomaniac, constantly stealing objects from around the house only to put them in his dog bed. He's not eating them, burying them, or even playing with them. Duke is a collector of sorts, a trait his previous owners couldn't get used to. But his current owner, Cathy Hoyt, understands the pup's strange behavior and rolls with it.

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A lazy afternoon nap on the couch.Photo credit: Canva

According to Hoyt, the sweet rescue originally came from a home with domestic violence, which likely left Duke with lasting trauma. Dogs, like humans, can be affected by trauma in ways that surface through behaviors others may find confusing. While some dogs become skittish, aggressive, or have accidents when they are nervous, others engage in resource guarding, as Duke does. Although resource guarding typically involves food, the behavior this elderly golden retriever displays is still classified as such.

Duke doesn't steal sandwiches or other edible items. Instead, the pooch absconds with household objects that make little logical sense for a dog to want.

"Duke has very severe resource guarding," Hoyt tells GeoBeats. "Most dogs have it with food, but Duke does not have it with food. He has it with the items he steals. Household items."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A happy golden retriever relaxing indoors. 🐕❤️Photo credit: Canva

In clips shown in a video by GeoBeats, Duke can be seen trotting away with his dad's pants before the footage cuts to him carrying something else. Hoyt explains:

"He steals electronics, my Kindle, my phone, laptops. He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot. He took creamer, a sugar bowl. Just the oddest items. He just places them on his bed. He guards them. We've spoken to professionals about this, but because of his age, it's very difficult to reverse."

There isn't much Duke's new parents can do to reverse a behavior that has likely been with him for most of his life. Thankfully, the Hoyts understand his condition and meet him with patience. They don't punish him for snagging things that aren't his, nor do they try to force him to give the items up. Instead, Hoyt says they simply wait until Duke is ready to allow them to retrieve the item from his bed.

"So we give him space. He will just have them around him, especially the household items. He just takes such comfort in them. It's really remarkable," Hoyt shares.

Hoyt says that while some people have suggested Duke's item collecting could be a sign of canine dementia, she insists his behavior is intentional. Duke isn't confused. Hoyt believes that after leaving behind so many people and belongings throughout his life, he has developed what she calls a "hoarding personality." By collecting items around the house, even ones that make no sense to anyone else, Duke creates a sense of safety and security for himself.

"We'll never really know, but he's happy doing it, so we let him do it," Hoyt exclaims.

People who've watched the video can't get enough of Duke's bizarrely sweet behavior.

One person gushes, "Poor Duke. Sweet boy. He's an emotional hoarder. Poor guy. I'm so grateful he's found acceptance and safety with you. Thank you for not allowing him to be abandoned once again!"

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd Gentle comfort for a sleepy golden retriever.Photo credit: Canva

Someone else shares, "He is seeking stability. These things represent you and he's trying to keep you. Poor old fella. So happy you are kind. Let him have this. Very loving."

One woman points out Hoyt's calming voice, writing, "I've seen a few videos of this dog. I love how mom speaks to him with such a kind, soft voice all the time even when he's taking something she really doesn't want him to have. Her tone of voice never communicates anger…perhaps bewilderment at times but never anger. Great mom!"

From Your Site Articles
resource guarding
PetsJoy
Culture

Gen Xers and Millennials share the 'distinct smells' from the '90s that defined the decade

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights."

90s smells, scents of the 90s, bath and body works 90s, cucumber melon, runts, runts candy
Images via Reddit/Dove04

Gen Xers and Millennials describe what the '90s smelled like, from Bath & Body Works' Cucumber Melon to banana-flavored Runts.

The '90s were a decade like no other. With TV psychics, parachutes in gym class, and iconic TV shows binged during sick days, the era was packed with uniquely memorable moments that Generation X and Millennials still feel nostalgic about today.

Beyond the epic CDs and cartoons, the '90s were also defined by specific scents. Gen Xers and Millennials on Reddit recently discussed the nostalgic smells of the decade—from specific foods like banana-flavored Runts to the distinct scent of roller-rink carpet and classic Bath & Body Works fragrances. Here's what they had to say:

@jennaabarclay

‘90s bath & body works scents WITH the ‘90s label 🥹 the nostalgia hit so hard and I’m so happy #90s #bathandbodyworks

"Cigarettes and this [roller rink] carpet….Ahhhhh memories." - Battlerapschef

"And teen spirit." - UbermachoGuy

"5 year old Runts in the quarter vending machine. Banana." - 9829eisB09E83C

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights." - Heatherjjjjjjjj

"This nasty [Glad Country Garden] potpourri spray. I can hear the very specific sound that spray made with its thick *ss pressed button. CHSHHHHH." - abby-rose, Constant-Net-4652, D4FF00

"[Victoria's Secret] Love Spell." - a_solid_6

" McDonald's happy meal toys had a certain smell that I can remember to this day. Probably poison." - ogmoss

"CK one everywhere." - snn1326j

"Clove cigarettes and espresso. Especially for goths." - Lost_Balloon_, Vesper2000

"Let's not forget Drakkar Noir." - Technical-Donut-7354

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LA Looks hair gel." - FarAd1429

"Electronics. The smell of cathode ray monitors and TVs, Blockbuster VHS tape boxes, the inside of Nintendo cartridges when you blew the dust out, etc." - oceanicwhitetip

"Fresh vinyl from blowup furniture." - Asterclad

"Herbal Essence." - barcham22

"The 90's had a number of unique smells. Especially if you were a kid. Lots of toys had these weird off gassing smells, like the creepy crawlers set. Sort of a sweet plastic smell. We also had the blessing of grandparents old Christmas decorations that smelled different from the stuff manufactured overseas today. The things our grandparents stored were probably slightly toxic but had a very, very nostalgic energy to them. You could almost smell the past." - TrillDough

"Like dew evaporating off the pavement." - zekerthedog

"Nautica, Cool Water, Hugo Boss, Curve and Polo Sport." - GurrenLagann214

"Apple shampoo, mall food courts, and movie theater popcorn." - thatmattschultz

@tara_town

The smells of our childhood 🥰 #90s #2000s #millennial #nostalgia

"Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers or Gap Grass." - Apprehensive-Stay196

"The smell from traffic…inescapable. Before catalytic converters were regulated you could smell transportation on you. Go stand in a busy covered parking garage and you will get a hint of what the cities smelled like." - h1storyguy

"LEMON PLEDGE!!!!!" - BlackDynamite58990

"I remember many girls almost choking us with their vanilla perfume. God it was sickening." - fettoter84

"Little incense candles inside incense warmers. Bong hits filtered thru a shampoo bottle stuffed with dryer sheets. Ralph Lauren Polo. JOOP! Any cologne/perfume sample from a magazine. Marlboro Lights. Empty Busch Light cans. And the sweet sweet smell of slacking..." - Live_Past_8978

"The inside spine of a plastic VHS tape cover." - canoe4you

"Wet JNCO's and wet barefoot sandals with a mix of Polo or Pear Berry Splash and cigarette smoke." - xxMalVeauXxx

"Fruitopia." - No_Tart686

"Go into a old school bowling alley and that's exactly what 90's smelled like." - ItsBal707

"And Extra chewing gum." - Ill-Emu-1121

"Sbarro pizza in a mall. That weird smell of water from a hose in the heat. Sunblock. The smell of a new Gameboy game." - Eris_Balm

From Your Site Articles
smells like the 90s
CultureJoy
Joy

New study reveals dogs are smarter than originally thought, anticipating unsaid commands

"They are really tuned in to our communication and are prepared to look to us for information."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups
Photo credit: Canva

A dog and their owner in a sunny field.

Most dog owners think their dog is the best, smartest dog to ever walk the planet. Of course, they're all correct because it's obviously a tie between every dog that has ever existed. But a new study from Duke's Canine Cognition Lab confirms that dogs are actually a lot smarter than humans initially gave them credit for.

The study spanned five years as PhD student, Hannah Salomons and the rest of the Duke team partnered with a national service dog organization, Canine Companions. They were joined by other organizations to assess the cognitive abilities of puppies from eight weeks to 20 weeks of age. The puppies were tested every two weeks until they hit the age threshold of 20 weeks.

All 100 puppies involved in the study were golden retrievers and golden retriever mixes. The team of scientists set out to discover how dog intelligence was developed. They wanted to know whether abilities were developed in different chunks or if they developed together as general intelligence. The results were fascinating to the team. Salomons tells Duke Today, “There hasn't really been a study of this size at this fine scale of detail done on puppy cognitive development before. It was a big undertaking."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Training time: Puppies learning tricks with their trainer.Photo credit: Canva

What they found is that dogs have an ability to "read minds"—or anticipate what a command will be. This cooperative communication skill develops remarkably early, much earlier than anticipated by those completing the study. Duke Today writes, "Skills such as understanding simple human gestures emerged early, alongside basic skills like working memory." Turns out that this communication skill is unique to dog puppies. Salomons explains to the school's digital outlet that wolf puppies do not display this level of understanding of cooperative communication with humans at such a young age.

"Molly is exceptionally intelligent. She picks up on everything, and she doesn't forget," Jamie Tan tells WBZ News Boston, an affiliate of CBS, about her one-year-old rescue dog. "She's very emotionally intelligent."

In the news segment, they show how the puppies participated in the study, explaining that the dogs had to find treats with only non-verbal cues.

One puppy fell asleep on the job, still inside the clear tube with a treat right in front of his nose. Being a puppy is hard work, especially when they are essentially expected to read minds to find a piece of kibble.

Salomons explains to WBZ News Boston, "They are really tuned in to our communication, and they are prepared to look to us for information. We tested how they look to humans and make eye contact to maybe make a connection or ask for help."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Man and dog share a joyful moment in the park.Photo credit: Canva

According to the scientists who conducted the study, there's no need to do anything extra to apply this new information. The puppies in the study that were exposed to hundreds of students and staff on any given day at Duke University displayed the same level of socialization skills as a puppy raised within a family unit.

"You're enough for your dog, and giving them a nice, loving home is going to help them develop really well, and [that] your dog is looking to you for information," Salomons shares with the news outlet.

From Your Site Articles
dogs
JoyPets
Joy

You can't import it or cook it. Why a traditional Scottish dish is banned in America

Is it too much for Americans to handle?

haggis, beans, bacon, english food, scottish food, mushrooms
via Jeremy Keith/Flickr

A plate of tasty food from the United Kingdom.

In the 1993 cult comedy So I Married an Axe Murderer, actor Mike Myers takes a big shot at Scottish cuisine: "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Obviously, that's an exaggeration. There are many wonderful Scottish treats that Americans love.

Every time you eat a tasty, buttery shortbread cookie, you can thank Scotland. The roast beef and gravy meal many people savor on Sunday nights also traces its roots to Scottish culinary tradition, as does oatmeal, once a humble peasant food that has since become a wellness staple.

What is haggis?

However, Myers may be onto something when it comes to haggis, a traditional Scottish dish made from lamb lung, sheep's heart, liver, suet, minced onion, stock, and spices. While Americans enjoy lamb from time to time, the heart and lungs tend to fall outside our culinary comfort zone. And to take things up a notch, the dish is traditionally cooked inside a sheep's stomach. Talk about using the entire animal.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Americans who have tasted it have compared it favorably to meatloaf and less favorably to "creamy oatmeal and meatloaf."

Why is haggis banned in the U.S.?

To take the dare analogy a step further, in 1971 the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) banned haggis from being imported into the U.S. because it is illegal to eat sheep lung, or the lungs of any livestock. During slaughter, fluids from other parts of the body, including stomach contents, can collect in the lungs, creating a potentially toxic environment. Additionally, livestock lungs tend to contain higher levels of environmental toxins and microorganisms than other organs.

haggis, big haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food A large haggis.via Mr. F/Flickr

As if the 1971 ban weren't enough, in 1989 the USDA banned the import of United Kingdom sheep meat due to concerns about a neurodegenerative disease in livestock.

The haggis ban must be especially hard for people of Scottish heritage on Burns Night, which takes place every year on January 25. Haggis is the evening's official dish, as it was a favorite of the poet Robert Burns, who is celebrated that night. He even penned an ode to the dish in "Address to a Haggis." Here's an excerpt:

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,

Gie her a Haggis!


haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food, haggis and gravy A plate of haggis and gravy.via Umami/Flickr

Is haggis ready for a comeback?

For Americans hoping to enjoy haggis on Burns Night in 2027, there's a chance the delicacy could finally be on the menu. In 2021, then-President Joe Biden struck a deal with then–U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson that reopened the door for sheep meat imports to the U.S. Meanwhile, Scotland's largest haggis producer, Macsween of Edinburgh, has been working on a U.S.-friendly version of haggis that includes everything except the lamb lung.

Whether you're brave enough to chow down on haggis or prefer to stick with shortbread cookies, the dish serves as a reminder of a time when people used every part of the animal to sustain themselves and their families. But its ban raises one lingering question. If haggis is considered too dangerous to import into the U.S., why hasn't it posed any real danger to the people of Scotland?

From Your Site Articles
united kingdom
JoyCulture
Trending Stories