An old African proverb from acclaimed literary figure Amadou Hampâté Bâ goes, “When an old man dies, a library burns down.” It honors the wealth of knowledge, history, and wisdom that lives inside our elders. And it’s why we’re encouraged to take the time now, while they’re here, to hear their stories and ask them questions.
But it’s safe to assume that Hampâté Bâ probably never dreamed of asking his own grandparents about their sex life or what they really thought about their impending death.
Provocative video series asks centenarians “taboo” questions
ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Company, has been producing a video series called You Can’t Ask That, where interviewers strip away politeness and social norms and ask interesting groups of people the questions we’re all really wondering about.
In one recent episode, they sat down with a group of centenarians, or people over 100. Centenarians are relatively rare, but their numbers are sharply on the rise.
True to the show’s name, the questions hit the ground running with “Why aren’t you dead yet?”
“I decided not to be,” one woman answered simply.
“God hasn’t called me,” another stated bluntly. “When he calls me, I’ll go.”
“I don’t know why I’m not dead,” a man answered. “I should be, but I’m not.”
But one man’s answer took the cake.
“I’ve been reported dead on four occasions. So I know what it’s like to be dead. … I do practice, from time to time, being dead.”
Right off the bat, it’s clear this group has long since made peace with mortality. They’re able to discuss it thoughtfully with humor and plenty of realistic honesty, which is not something that comes as easily to younger generations.
Centenarians on sex
Next up, the interviewer asked a question sure to make 99% of people blush on the spot: “When was the last time you had sex?”
These elders couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed, which led to some amazing answers where they really got to flex their curt honesty and humor.
“I don’t know, I don’t keep a record of that,” one man said. After a bit of thinking, he added, “Six months ago.” He laughed and then said, “It’s broken down. That’s the only reason I ceased. It was alright one minute, the next day it was like a damp cloth.”
“I was sexually active up until about four years ago,” said another man. “One’s performance gradually disappears.”
Soon, the answers shifted toward broader thoughts on sex, dating, and romance. The centenarians are from a generation that grew up amid more traditional courtship rituals and dating practices, so it’s fascinating to hear how their long lives have influenced their thoughts and behaviors.
“I’ve only had one girl in my life. I think one is enough,” one man said. “One is enough at a time, anyway.”
“I don’t agree with instant sex,” one woman added. “If you’re too free, you don’t have that longing and wanting.”
Studies show that about a third of seniors over the age of 80 remain sexually active, which comes as a surprise to many younger people.
Centenarians on young people today
The centenarians were asked: “Do kids get it easier these days than when you were growing up?”
The answers were surprisingly thoughtful, but all built around a solid Yes.
“It’s a different world, isn’t it?” one man said. “Not our world.”
“Things were tough. We went through two wars and two depressions,” added another.
Many of the seniors went on to explain just how long ago 100 years was. Most grew up in the early 1900s without a car, running water, or a telephone. Some had no bathroom or electricity.
“We used to have to make our own games,” one woman said. “We had no toys.” She added, in classic fashion, that she had to walk three miles to school each day growing up.
“I went to work at 13 and a half,” another woman said of her time in a sewing factory.
The perspective is blunt and refreshing. Growing up in 2026 is hard for many reasons, but it’s easy to forget how good we usually have it.
Centenarians on whether they’re a burden
“Are you a burden on your family and society?”
It’s hard not to feel secondhand embarrassment at the question’s bluntness, but as usual, the seniors handle it with incredible wisdom and humor.
“No,” one woman said plainly. “I think I’m an asset to society.”
“I certainly hope I’m not, but I couldn’t manage without my daughter,” a man added.
“I am only too aware that I don’t pull my weight now,” another man admitted.
“I pay my way,” another defied. “And my family visit when they are able to. And I’m not a burden on them.”
“My family wanted to take charge of me when I arrived here. They thought they were getting an old lady they’d have to look after. But they found out they were wrong.”
Many went on to explain that they still live on their own, or at least partly so, and still drive, cook, and even work part time.
“I might be 100 years old, but I’ve full faculty of my senses, and I know what I want. And I don’t need a little upstart to tell me what to do and how to do it.”
The seniors ended their interviews with a question that wasn’t so taboo: what advice do they have for the next generation?
They covered everything from living with no regrets to saving money to maintaining a sense of humor.
One woman, however, summed up the deluge of wisdom best with a message that should give hope to people of any age:
“When you get to be a hundred, you’ve learned a lot. You have a feeling of freedom. You can be better than you were. So just you wait.”
