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What 8 successful ADHDers want you to know about how they get stuff done.

Whenever I'm working with my family, friends, or colleagues, they always ask me how I'm able to get so much done.

My answer: "I have ADHD."

That might sound confusing, but realistically, people with ADHD don't always have problems with attention — at least, not when we're working on something that excites us. In fact, ADHD often means that we can hyperfocus on awesome things for hours on end, although sometimes that comes at the expense of all the less-thrilling things we’re supposed to be doing. (Why wash the dishes when you can build a rocket ship out of a cardboard box and a disassembled vacuum cleaner?)

Most people with ADHD have to work 10 times harder to achieve seemingly basic organizational and time management skills — skills that other people develop naturally over time. While medication can certainly help, it doesn't do all the work by itself. As a result, we pay more conscious attention to life hacks, memory tricks, productivity shortcuts and other mental managerial systems ... because we have to.

Some say that people with ADHD are much more likely to start their own businesses, perhaps because we’re built to tackle creative and entrepreneurial challenges.

While other people don’t need to learn the same tricks that we do, they can benefit from them. In fact, I’d argue that ADHDers have some of the best advice and practices for getting stuff done — even if we don’t always listen to that advice ourselves.

GIF from "Bruce Almighty."

Here are 21 productivity tips from people with ADHD that even non-ADHDers can learn from:

1. Habits are things you get for free. So get into 'em.

Even though I’m not a natural creature of habit, I always start my day with meds, then a shower, then pants, then breakfast — otherwise I know that I’m going to forget one of those steps. Habits are essentially self-automation, which means less brainpower spent on the little things.

2. Always have a backup (or two, or three) and know where to find it.

I keep extra cables, chargers, adapters, medicine, and other things in my bag at all times. That way, whether I’m going to the grocery store or on vacation, I don’t have to worry about keeping my phone charged.

3. Reminders and alerts: love them and use them.

I even have a recurring 2 p.m. notification on my phone that says “EAT SOME LUNCH, YOU IDIOT” because, erm, I need the reminder more than I’d like to admit. (Also: IFTTT triggers to automate actions and sync between apps and accounts make life way easier.)

GIF from "Despicable Me 2."

4. Keep a calendar, and schedule in the time it takes for you to do things.

If it takes you extra time to keep a calendar or get into the headspace for a meeting? Factor that in when you’re planning your day too.

5. Pay attention to the your day's ups and downs, and use them to your advantage.

Do you get sleepy right after lunch? Then maybe don’t dive into that intense project at 1 p.m. Are you better when you answer emails in the morning and get active tasks done later? Then do that. Figure out what works for you, and follow that schedule.

6. Find your rhythm and stick with it.

Even if you’re not the slow and steady type, a regular pattern of sprint and rest can still help you reach the finish line. "Sometimes I'll start counting beats in my head to create a rhythm," says TV writer/director Hadley Klein. "It sounds crazy but for whatever reason, it helps me think through things in a different way."

7. Make a list. Check it twice. Then make another list. And another.

Graphic novelist Tyler Page says, “I keep one main to-do list on my computer in a Sticky or TextEdit file. Bigger projects get their own lists where they get broken down into smaller and smaller components. The lists also help with prioritizing — something that needs to be done right away goes on the daily to-do list."

GIF from "Monsters University."

8. “Prioritize action over accomplishment. Doing the thing.”

This one comes from Patty Carnevale, head of revenue at Man Repeller. Measuring your progress in a tangible way can help you feel even more successful, which will then give you the drive to keep going.

9. Reward yourself for your accomplishments — no matter how small.

If you're someone who needs frequent feedback to get the necessary dopamine boost, then you can fake it by sticking a carrot in front of yourself to keep you going. Alysa Auriemma, an English instructor, gives an example: “I can read that awesome online fanfic IF I get three papers graded!”

GIF from "Parks and Recreation."

10. Turn the boring parts into a game.

“I use a fitness watch which monitors how many steps I take in a day and how many flights of stairs I climb. It’s fun to make the numbers go up,” says Nalo Hopkinson, an award-winning author. She also reports her daily word count on Twitter, so that people can cheerlead her along.

11. Don't dread the boring stuff. Just get it done. It's faster that way.

Focus on the satisfaction that you’re going to feel once you’ve finished the task, instead of on the time it’ll take to get it done — which, let’s be honest, is probably less time than you think. (Of course, even though I know this works for me, it's still easier said than done.)

12. The more you let things pile up, the easier it gets to ignore them.

Find a way to keep it fresh. I’m a compulsive inbox zeroer because the longer that little red notification bubble sits there on my phone, the more inclined I am to ignore it. So I mark all my emails as "read," then use an IFTTT trigger to remind me later of things that actually require a follow-up or my attention.

GIF from "Community."

13. If things slip your mind, visual cues can help.

You know that mantra, "Out of sight, out of mind?" For people with ADHD, that's pretty literal — to a fault. So it helps to stick things right in our own faces so that we can't miss them. “When I was in college, I taped a postcard to my apartment door with the times I needed to leave by to make it to morning classes on time,” says Rebecca Eisenberg, Upworthy’s senior editor.

14. Work with your brain, not against it.

Do you tend to lose your keys in the bathroom? Then make a new home for them in the bathroom, where you’re already inclined to leave them. That way, they’re always there. Don't fight your instincts. Use their momentum to your advantage. And on that note…

15. Embrace your idiosyncrasies and find a way to make them work for you.

Everyone’s brain is different. A lot of ADHDers need to figure out on our own what works for us, rather than having someone tell us what’s the “right” way to do things. For example: If someone else leaves me a list of instructions or things to do that's organized by their mind, it only makes me frustrated and confused. I have to create my own to-do lists in my own way — even if it does take more time.

GIF from "Adventure Time."

16. Take a break. Move around. Do a little dance.

Movement helps your brain work better. As tempting as it is to put the emphasis on measurable actions, it’s just as important to not do things and give yourself a chance to breathe. Sometimes a little distance can give you a lot of new perspective.

I use a portable adjustable standing desk and a pair of bluetooth headphones so that I can basically dance in place and write at the same time. My wife thinks I'm weird, but it works.

17. Know when to call it a day.

It’s important to accept when you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns. Don't be afraid to give your brain a rest, and come back to it fresh the next day. This'll save you time in the long run too — because the more you power through your exhaustion, the longer it'll take to recover.

18. Identity your flaws and strengths, and communicate them to others.

"My colleagues know that in exchange for tolerating all the things I do that make me less reliable, they get a guy who can think outside the box, that can create on the fly, that can wear many hats at once," says Upworthy's fearless editor-at-large, Adam Mordecai.

"They also know that if they want something from me, I'm far likelier to get it done if they ping me immediately on chat rather than on email. Let your peeps know how to get the most out of you."

19. Keep your eye on the prize, but forgive yourself — and others.

Everyone’s fighting their own uphill battles, and you're not going to get anything done if you're too busy beating yourself up. (You’re not going to help anyone else be more productive if you externalize it and pick on them either.)

GIF from the SAG Awards.

20. Set your goals, but stay flexible.

Maybe you didn’t get as much done today as you had hoped, but that’s OK. Regroup, come up with a new strategy, and try to figure out what went wrong so you can do it better next time. Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important, lesson:

21. “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

This is actually a quote from Samuel Beckett, but it also makes for an excellent productivity mantra. The bad parts and failures are inevitable, and you’ll never overcome them all. But that’s OK. Accept it, learn from it, and keep going anyway.

But you do have a brain. So use it. GIF from "The Wizard of Oz."

ADHDers understand one thing better than most people: Success is not a stationary target.

There's no "one weird trick" that will actually bring you any closer to success.

Instead, the best we can hope for is to embrace ourselves for all our strengths and weaknesses, and keep finding things to work toward. Perhaps that's a new business endeavor, 15 simultaneous hobbies, or simply remembering to put your underwear on before your pants.

If that last part is a measurable indication, then for me, today was an extraordinary success.

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Millennials complain that their Boomer parents won't throw anything away. A psychologist explains why.

"3 car garage...cannot fit a single car in there."

boomer, boomers, boomer clutter, clutter, hoarding, too much stuff
Photo credit: Canva

A Baby Boomer stands in his cluttered garage.

Millennials with Baby Boomer parents have not been shy about airing their complaints about the older generation. Millennials have previously noted that their parents tend to hoard food—and now they're are airing their grievances about Boomer "stuff avalanche."

On Reddit, Millennials discussed their frustrations about their Boomer parents and the insane amount of junk they have in their homes that (allegedly) will one day be passed down to them to deal with. Many Millennials shared that it is a source of contention for them, and that they wish their parents would just throw things out.

"3 car garage...cannot fit a single car in there," one commented. And another stated, "I am very concerned with the amount of junk my parents are holding onto."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A fellow peeved Millennial added, "The worst part is that our parents think this is all worth lots and lots of money. Don’t worry kids, these three sets of china I’m saving for you will be worth millions!"

Another had laid down the law: "My mom kept joking about all the 'stuff' being my inheritance. After a few times I was tired of it, I looked her dead in the face and said in the most monotone I could get. 'I will get the biggest dumpster I can, and it will all go in the trash.' She stopped making that joke, and my parents have been slowly throwing out their junk ever since."

clutter, baby boomer stuff avalance, stuff, too much stuff, decluttering A Baby Boomer garage filled with stuff.Photo credit: Canva

Why Boomers struggle to throw things away

"The Boomer generation grew up in the post-war era shaped by rationing and economic rebuilding," Daniel Glazer, clinical psychologist and co-founder of US Therapy Rooms, tells Upworthy.

He adds that the Boomer inability to let stuff go is often criticized, but when you look at the psychology of their attachment to objects, their behavior makes much more sense.

"Not so long ago, saving things was an adaptive habit. 'That might come in handy' was a common refrain in households in which replacing something was not so easy, or affordable," says Glazer. "There is also an element of emotional security that comes from the things that have surrounded us through decades of life events, or even across a lifetime."

And for many Boomers, getting rid of stuff can signify an even bigger mental battle.

"As people age, there can also be an increased awareness of mortality," says Esin Pinarli, founder and holistic psychotherapist at Eternal Wellness Counseling. "Letting go of objects can feel symbolic, almost like letting go of chapters of their life. If no one is asking about those chapters anymore, those objects become the tangible proof that those experiences mattered. So it’s not stubbornness. It’s often about attachment, meaning-making, and a fear of losing relevance or erasing parts of their story."

How to help Boomers declutter

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Starting the conversation with Boomer parents in an empathetic and understanding way may help the process go more smoothly and deepen the relationship between them and their children. Here are a few examples of conversation starters Millennials can use when talking to their Boomer parents about decluttering:

Conversation Starter #1: "I know these things mean something to you. I’d love to hear the story behind a few of them."

"This shifts the focus from getting rid of objects to honoring the meaning behind them," says Pinarli. "When a parent feels seen and understood, they’re often more open to eventually letting go. It validates that the attachment is about memory and identity, not just stuff."

Conversation Starter #2: "What would feel good for you to keep, and what feels like it’s just taking up space now?"

"This gives them agency," Pinarli explains. "Instead of telling them what to throw away, it invites them to reflect on what still feels meaningful versus what might no longer serve them. That sense of control reduces defensiveness."

Conversation Starter #3: "Would it help to go through this together so we can make sure the important things are preserved?"

"This frames decluttering as a collaborative and supportive process, not a demand," Pinarli shares. "It reassures them that their memories and legacy won’t be dismissed or erased, which can lower the emotional intensity around letting go."

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Costco customers are overjoyed by news that the store's 'archaic' cake ordering system is finally modernizing

"This is GREAT!"

costco, costco cake, costco cakes, costco cake order, costco custom cake app
Canva/Wikimedia

Costco announces new app for custom cake orders.

Loyal Costco fans are lauding their favorite big-box store for a long-awaited change to its custom cake ordering system. In a company memo, Costco announced that it will be launching an app for customers to order customized cakes at the touch of their fingers without having to enter a Costco store.

"We've got ordering cakes and deli trays online coming," said Costco CEO Ron Vachris. "Many of the things that we've heard from our members that could be a little bit clunky are now moving to a digital state, and we're seeing great adoption right out of the chute."

It's a massive change from the previous custom cake process. Costco lovers have long complained about the old-school ordering system that required customers to physically go to the store's bakery, where they would fill out a slip of paper with their order requests and simply drop it in the order box.

@eatsbyrachel

Anyone else feel like the @Costco Wholesale custom cake ordering system is a bit antiquated? 🤔 Regardless, their analog process somehow always works 💯 #costco #costcobakery #cake #customcake #costcodoesitagain #costcocake #costcofinds #costcodeals #costcofind #costcofinds #eatsbyrachel

Costco's "1800s" custom cake ordering

Back in 2023, writer Lucy Huber humorously poked fun at Costco's seemingly outdated custom cake ordering system that resonated with fellow Costco shoppers. And her words went viral:

"Ordered a cake from Costco and their system is from the 1800s, you write what you want on a piece of paper & put it in a box then nobody follows up and you just show up and hope they made it? I tried to call to confirm & they were like 'if you put it in the box, it will be there'," she wrote.



It was a system that also caused Costco members on Reddit a lot of anxiety.

"We did our wedding cakes from Costco, talk about a nerve-racking experience hoping everything worked out," one wrote.

Another shared, "Drop a paper in a hole and cross your fingers 🤣🤣."

Costco customers have mixed feelings

Many Costco customers and Redditors expressed their positive reactions to the updated ordering system news:

"As someone who lives 1.5 hours away from three different Costcos I LOVE this. I'm rarely in the market for a custom cake, but when I am I'm not driving an hour and a half to fill out the request form in store."

"This is GREAT! But will I also be able to order chocolate cake with white icing and vice-versa? Because currently I can’t do that at my Costco."

"While the box system worked, it was archaic. With anything, the new system will take time to implement."

"Jumping from the 19th century to the 21st century. Bravo Costco!"

Others weren't as happy:

"Kind of sad in a way. There are not too many interactions like this in the digital age."

"But the Paper & Pencil worked."

"Coming in 2027: I didn't get my cake at Costco because Amazon-East-1 is down :(."

"I have ordered many cakes with this low tech. Never an issue."

Costco bakery workers react

Workers in Costco bakeries also chimed in, many with negative opinions:

"As someone who works in the bakery this is going to be a disaster. Half the people don’t even know the name on the order or what the cake says when they come to pick up. Like 2 times a week we get someone trying to pick up at the wrong Costco."

"As a bakery employee, this is going to be a nightmare. The whole point of keeping the order form in warehouse only was to not overwhelm our staff AND (this one being the real reason I was given), is it makes people come in and 'grab a few items while their there, and then again when they come pick up the cake.' I am not looking forward to this. People are going to order at the wrong Costco, not do it right and then get mad at us. I'm terrified of this change 🫣."

"As someone who has worked in the bakery at Costco, the prevailing thought has been 'the system we have works fairly well, so they’re probably not gonna change it.' It’s the same reason that the major sales department still uses paper slips for computers. Well, except for the apple tables. Those have a little iPad kiosk that will print out your slip for you, but literally none of the members ever use it and instead ask us to do it for them."

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Gen Xers share 17 nostalgic dishes they ate growing up—and still make for dinner

From sloppy joes to pizza bread, these dishes still slap.

gen x, generation x, gen x meal, gen x food, gen x family meals
Image via Reddit

A family enjoys dinner during the 1970s.

Generation X (those born between 1965-1980) grew up eating classic Americana meals. During the 1970s, comfort meals like tuna casserole and salmon roquettes were popular meals.

Gen X also grew up eating some pretty unhinged (but all the more yummy) sandwiches. These meals are steeped in childhood nostalgia.

And to this day, Gen Xers are still fond of their favorite dishes they grew up eating. Together, they discussed on Reddit their most-loved home-cooked dishes that they still whip up, starting with sloppy joes.

Here are 17 iconic Gen X comfort meals to keep in mind the next time you make dinner:


@genx_shawn

🤤😂 Top 10 Things ONLY GenX Knows the Taste Of... #genx #over50club #genxtiktok #over40 #genxcrew #generationx #genxers #genxtok #over40club #over50

"Breakfast. We will have a 'breakfast for dinner' at least a couple times a month. Yum!" - fadeanddecayed, KddKc

"Pizza bread! My mom would cut Italian bread into pieces, put butter and garlic salt on them, then pour some spaghetti sauce on them, cover with mozzarella cheese, and broil for like ten or fifteen minutes. Super easy and quick to make and so tasty. I'm sure my mom loved that I was so into something that took roughly zero effort for her to make." - hornybutired

"Grilled cheese and soup." - reincarnateme

"Meat loaf. I use 2 pounds ground beef, replace bread crumbs with minute rice, add 1 pkg beef soup flavoring, chop an entire onion for it, and mix BBQ sauce into mixture. Oh, important: do not overmix! Place all ingredients into bowl, then mix quickly 10 or 12 swirls of a large spoon. Grease loaf pan, carefully place mixture in, pat down & bake about an hour. (Extra info: for even better flavor, mix the night before, pat into loaf pan, cover with plastic, put into fridge overnight. Remove from fridge about an hour before baking. BE SURE TO REMOVE PLASTIC WRAP! [Esp. If in Pyrex glass loaf pan])" - jehardt, AbbyM1968

"White guy tacos." - najing_ftw

"Skillet dinner. Kielbasa, bell pepper, onion, spuds in a cast iron pan. One dish. Easy peasy." - UnimportantOutcome67

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Chicken pot pie or chicken ala king." - sattersnaps

"Fried catfish, greens, and red beans and rice." - User Unknown

"Shepherds pie, technically cottage pie if it’s ground beef. Homemade enchiladas, usually made as a layered casserole instead because I don’t have time to roll them. Pork chops with mashed potatoes and veggies." - XerTrekker

"Fried rice with chicken or pork leftovers." - AlternativeResort181

"Hot hamburgers: hamburger patty open face on Texas toast thickness bread, cover with fries then cover that with brown gravy. Wife's variation is hamburger patty over rice with brown gravy." - EnricoMatassaEsq

@past_archives

American Gen X Foods That Kids Today Can’t Understand#nostalgia #childhoodmemories #backtochildhood #90s #2000s #usa #80s #90skids #80schildhood #capcutforus #capcut #capcutpioneer #America

"Stuffed peppers. I make it much more easily by cooking it all in one large frying pan 'deconstructed'. Sauté onions garlic and ground beef, add cut up peppers, tomatoes or tomato sauce, sometimes a little spinach, then add separately cooked rice, salt and pepper and serve. It comes together pretty quickly and tastes just as good as stuffing and baking peppers in the oven." - Affectionate-Map2583

"Macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Seriously, that’s what I ate tonight." - Dazzling-Walrus9673

"Homemade Stroganoff casserole. Ridiculously easy to make. Ingredients:

1.25-1.5 lbs. Ground Beef
1 each of large white onion, green pepper, and red pepper
1 can mushroom pieces, drained and rinsed
12 oz. Bag of wide egg noodles
1 can cream of mushroom soup
16 oz. Sour cream
Worcestershire Sauce
Louisiana Hot Sauce
White or Black Pepper
Panko bread crumbs

To Make: Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Worcestershire, hot sauce, garlic powder, and pepper are all to taste, depending on how much flavor and punch you want it to have. Cook noodles per instructions. Drain. Peel and slice onion (not diced), core and cut peppers into strips Brown meat, onions and peppers along with liberal amount of Worcestershire; garlic, pepper, and hot sauce. Add mushrooms. Cook until meat is fully brown, onions are translucent and peppers are tender. Drain. Combine drained meat, etc. with whole can of soup, half of the sour cream. Gradually add noodles into the mix. Add sour cream as needed to maintain consistency. Add Worcestershire, hot sauce, and pepper to taste. Dump into large, deep Corning dish or whatever. Cover too with bread crumbs. Cover and bake for forty minutes." - CynfullyDelicious

This article originally appeared last year

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People share the '10 second decisions' that meaningfully improved their lives forever

Proof that our fate is made up of a series of tiny choices.

reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuition
Image via Canva

A woman at a fork in the road.

The average adult makes upwards of 35,000 decisions a day. These can include the bigger, more existential questions that require reflection to weigh the pros and cons. But the vast majority of decisions seem insignificant: What will I wear today? Order takeout or make food at home? Podcast or playlist? Still, these fleeting impulse choices can play just as big a role in our lives as the more thought-out ones.

Prime examples of this were recently made on Reddit, when people were asked to share a "decision you made in under 10 seconds that changed your life forever." These seemingly insignificant choices changed fates in profound ways.

“Decided to go to Subway instead of Dairy Queen. They were across the street from each other and I was passing through town during lunchtime. Ended up hitting it off with the woman making my sandwich. Next week is our 11 year anniversary.”

“My best friend said she wanted to move 2000+ miles across the country back to her home state and asked me if I wanted to come. I didn’t think, said ‘Yup, I’ll go.” We moved, less than a year afterwards I met my now wife. Couldn’t be happier.”

“Said yes to adopting a stray dog that followed me home. 10-second 'sure why not' moment—now he's my best buddy for 8 years.”


reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuitionA van travels down the road. Photo credit: Canva


Others were able to uncover new passions they never imagined.

“I flipped a coin to decide if I was going to quit my job. Heads. I quit. A friend saw my lights on that night and stopped by to see what I was doing. I told him what happened, and he told me it was great timing. They let someone go at his job that day. He set me up with an interview for the next day, and I was hired. There were only three people who worked there. I eventually became the plant manager and have been working in management ever since!”

“Saw a random advert advertising scuba diving certification. I signed up thinking ‘why not?’ I’m now an aspiring diving instructor!”

“Early 20s and my sister asked me to drive her to the music shop to buy a guitar. I point one out and say ‘that black and gold one is gorgeous. Get that one.’ She tries it out and says ‘ehhh, I dunno if I really feel this one.’ I tell her that if she doesn't buy it, I will, and she says ‘you don't even play guitar! What are you gonna do with it?’ Walked out of the store with it on a complete whim, spent 3 months learning before I started doing open mics, making friends at the music shop, joining a band, and having the time of my life throughout my 20s.”

reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuitionA person plays the guitar. Photo credit: Canva
For some, a 10-second decision ended up with an unexpected windfall.

“Decided not to get into an elevator with my ex and her new boyfriend, so I took the stairs instead. On the third flight, I found a discarded scratch-off ticket that ended up being worth $50,000. It’s the only time in my life where being socially awkward actually paid off my mortgage.”

“A family in my marina announced that they are moving away the following week. They were going to turn their sailboat over to a broker to sell it for them. I mentioned that I was contemplating a larger boat with a smaller engine and would be interested in theirs. I asked what price would they consider? He said, $10k. I said, okay, and we shook on it. The boat was worth over $24k. I got a wheelbarrow from the marina corral and removed stuff from my smaller boat, walked it over to their dock, and loaded it onboard. That was ten years ago, and I still live on it six months out of the year. Sweet.”

Sometimes, these kinds of life-altering changes are simply fresh new outlooks on life.

“I was going through old text messages with my then girlfriend and realized I had become a very negative person. I decided right there to always look for the bright side of things. It takes some effort but that was 12 years ago and I'm much happier. It becomes second nature after a while.”

reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuitionA man smiles. Photo credit: Canva
In many instances, a 10-second decision prevented tragedy for themselves or others.

“Most of these answers are super happy and mine really isn’t but fits the question. Mine would be double checking on my wife before bed. She suffers from PTSD, depression and anxiety and had just been ‘off’ all day. I checked with her a couple times and she said everything was alright each time. It might sound weird but she was too happy and calm but kind of sad at the same time. It just didn’t sit right with me. She said she was going to bed and we kissed and I asked again she chucked and said to stop worrying. She went upstairs and I waited a few seconds and went up to say I think something is wrong. I stopped her from committing suicide that night. Normally I would take her for her word but that decision was 12 years ago and we are having the best version of our lives because I listened to my gut and went and checked.”

“One night I drove home from working evening shift (like 2 miles) and when I glanced in the rear view I had chills when I saw the headlights behind me at a red light. I got to my house and was about to park but then heard a voice in my head tell me to keep driving, so I did… and they continued to follow me. Called my dad to stay on the phone as I drove to a police station. Car stopped following when a cop car pulled up behind us (coincidentally). Next morning read about an armed carjacking in the area about an hour later.”

“In middle school my best friend invited me to Knott's Berry Farm with another group of kids he was friends with…I got to my friend’s house after running some errands with my mom. There were 5 kids aged 14-15 there. I asked my friend how we were getting [to Knott's Berry] and he said he was driving his dad’s car (he was underage and had no license). I was nervous but I wanted to look cool so, I said ok. Right before we got into the car, I had the worst feeling come over me. In approximately 5 seconds, I felt a drop in my stomach to a bottomless pit, a hot flash followed by chills, and intense nausea. I literally left without making a sound, running to a nearby Starbucks and using a stranger's phone and asking my mother to pick me up. I felt so embarrassed. I knew I was going to get shit all month from my friend…A few hours later, they were on their way home on the freeway and lost control of the vehicle. All 5 died.”

reddit, ask reddit, decisions, decision making, gut instinct, intuitionA damaged vehicle sits on the side of a road. Photo credit: Canva
What about when you can't decide?

And yet, for some (make that many) of us, knowing that every decision is uniquely important can be a major source of anxiety, causing us to freeze via “analysis paralysis” and not choose at all—which, in itself, is a choice (they’re inescapable!). In fact, our brains tend to struggle more with less risky decisions.

Interestingly, experts seem to suggest combating this ambivalence with tools that force a quick deadline. You can either toss a coin or set a time limit, which would arguably incite one of these potentially life-changing 10-second decisions.

Life will inevitably call on us to make both long, thought-out decisions and to go with our gut. But hopefully, this reminds us that even our whims can lead to something truly pivotal without making us lose our minds.

Seniors ranting about their friend Barbara cheating at Mahjong is the Internet's best new reality show

"The Barbara Chronicles are giving me life."

mahjong, senior citizens, viral videos, funny videos, elderly
Allison Novak/Instagram

A woman named Debbie helps explain Mahjong-gate.

If you've ever watched seniors play Mahjong, you know they're not messing around. Some might find it complicated. A player's guide explains, "Mahjong is a 4-person game of skill and chance that originated in China." It involves numbered tiles, winds, dragons, flowers, and jokers. It's serious business that, while fun and an excellent way to stretch the mind, can lead to actual fights.

No fight has been more dramatic than what happened between Allison Novak (@allisonnovak) and her family. While visiting her parents in Florida (an escape from the cold Minnesota winter where they all usually reside), Novak, alongside her brother, sister, husband, and son, piled into the car en route to the airport. From there, we get the full rundown on "Mahjong-gate."


@alllisonnovak

My mom telling me about the mahjong drama at her retirement community. #mahjong #mahjongtable #drama #retirement #florida

According to Allison's mother, Cynthia, a woman named Barbara allegedly cheats at this game—and the other players aren't having it. She shared, "We're done with her. We're not playing with a cheater anymore."

Cynthia goes on to explain an "incident" regarding tapping tiles. "They tapped it. They put it down. And I said, 'Oh damn. I wanted that tile.' And Sharon goes, 'Just take it.' And Barbara said, 'No, I tapped it already.'"

From there, it takes a dramatic turn: "Last night, Barbara did some stuff that was outright…I mean really bad." She explains another tapping incident before explaining the etiquette of Mahjong: "So when you Mahjong, meaning you won, you have to show all your tiles to prove it. Kinda like bingo. But she takes her tiles and flips them over so no one really knows what she really had."

These videos have become a massive hit online. On TikTok alone, the first in the series was so popular it has nearly 5,000 comments.

"Barbara is mentioned thousands of times in the Mahjong Files," jokes one TikToker, a comment itself garnering over 7,000 likes.

"The secret lives of Mahjong Wives," another comments, putting a spin on the popular reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Lives.

The Mahjong saga was so popular it has now become a series, with each video clip more exciting and dramatic than the last. (Novak has put menacing music underneath the dialogue, adding to the already terrifying tension.)

@alllisonnovak

The Real Housewives of Mahjong Mannor update!!! 🚨🚨🚨 #mahjong #mahjongtable #drama #retirement #florida

In Part Two of the series, Cynthia's friend Debbie (while chatting with their other friends Bud, Diane, and Ralph) says, "Oh, she looks like this innocent little lady. She goes to church. Like I told them, I don't go to Mahjong to see how well I can cheat. You want to play the game."

She complains that Barbara never bothers to change her game up, which the others find frustrating. From there, the conversation goes left, escalating into a possible murder accusation. (They're joking, of course, but you'll have to watch the video to see for yourself.)

Commenters from Instagram and Threads are also getting in on the fun by treating the saga like the soap opera/reality show it is. Many point out the pronunciation of Mahjong as "Mar-Jawn," which adds an extra element of delight.

"The Barbara Chronicles are giving me life," reads one of the comments. Another points out how quickly it all escalated, saying, "The jump from cheating to murdering your own husband…LOVE IT."

In Part Five, Allison summarizes the whole affair, which leads to Barbara’s banishment from the game. At one point, Barbara runs away, and they chase after her with a camera. We then see a black screen with a chyron reading, "As of this recording, Barbara has declined all interview requests. Sources close to Barbara declined to comment. Some questions remain unanswered."

On Threads, one person noted that not everything is always as it seems. "This is one of those documentaries where Barb walks in for her talking head interview in the last ten minutes and blows it all up."

@alllisonnovak

And that’s Mahjong 🀄️ #finalscene #barbaramahjong #mahjong #mahjongdrama #secretlives

Novak told Upworthy how it all began:

"My brother, sister, and I (and my husband and son) visit them every year. My mom and dad picked us up from the airport and immediately started telling me about the drama regarding Barbara. I couldn't help but laugh, and I was like, 'I need to record this!'"

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