5 ways everyday citizens can start holding police departments accountable

This article first appeared on ProPublica. You can read it here. The death of George Floyd at the hands of police in Minneapolis has drawn historic levels of interest in police misconduct and drawn condemnation from law enforcement leaders nationwide. As a reporter covering law enforcement for the Asbury Park Press in New Jersey, and…

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Photo credit: assets.rebelmouse.io Array

This article first appeared on ProPublica. You can read it here.

The death of George Floyd at the hands of police in Minneapolis has drawn historic levels of interest in police misconduct and drawn condemnation from law enforcement leaders nationwide.

As a reporter covering law enforcement for the Asbury Park Press in New Jersey, and now in partnership with ProPublica’s Local Reporting Network, I use investigative reporting techniques to strengthen police accountability. Other journalists do the same. But, in truth, any citizen can apply the same methods to ensure the law enforcement system they’re funding is serving them well.

Police culture can be insular and tough to penetrate. But I’ve been surprised by how often it’s possible, though time consuming, to expose important issues by requesting and examining records and data from police departments and other government agencies and engaging citizens and key leaders. So here are five techniques concerned citizens, journalists and policymakers can use to examine police conduct in their communities.


1. Understand the policies and laws that govern police conduct.

If you’re alarmed by what you saw in Minneapolis, or other recent incidents of apparent police misconduct, the first step is to find out if the agency in question has a written policy on the use of force. Does the policy dictate when officers should or shouldn’t use force? What tactics are they allowed to use? Is there any rule against choking a suspect?

It’s important to know if the officers involved were following the policies and procedures that are supposed to guide their behavior. Police actions that strike an onlooker as inappropriate may actually be within a department’s rules. It’s possible the rules themselves are inconsistent with best practices elsewhere.

Ask the department for its policies on the practices that concern you, like restraining suspects or the use of pepper spray or Tasers. You may also need to request rules set by a county or state authority. Ask for written copies. You may be required to file a formal public records request, which I will describe below. And if there is no existing written policy, that might be something worth questioning itself.

If you’re having trouble understanding a policy, try running it by an attorney, academic, elected official or a journalist in your community.

How I did it: I did a deep dive into policies about drug testing after a police captain was killed in a car crash in 2016, and I exposed that he was drunk and on drugs at the time. I spoke to his chief and learned their department didn’t have a policy for random drug testing. I wondered why that was the case and looked to the state attorney general’s office, which sets many police rules. The rules allowed departments to choose whether they wanted to do random testing, and my reporting identified more than 100 that did not. After our story, the state attorney general mandated random drug testing for cops across the state.

2. You are entitled to public records that can show whether rules are being followed. Get them.

Your tax dollars pay for just about everything a police department does, which includes generating tons of reports, dispatch logs, video recordings and data about what officers do every day. Any citizen is entitled to see those public records to understand how the government works.

The agency may say the public records law does not allow you to have access to some documents — information about confidential informants and medical records, for example. The laws that dictate what’s considered public vary by state, so check out the national guide by the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press. Information the agency considers off limits may also be redacted, and it may take time to get a response.

Even with the hassles and limitations, public records laws are empowering and I’ve been surprised by how much I can obtain. My policy is always to ask and make a records clerk explain why I can’t have taxpayer-funded records. Follow up to ensure important requests aren’t lost or ignored. Assume you should be able to see everything. Your state’s public records law may even include a presumption that records are open and exemptions are an exception. You may run into roadblocks that you can’t overcome on your own. In some cases, journalism organizations have had to sue to obtain public records. Your budget may not allow for an attorney, but some states have mediators that you can go to if you think your request is being wrongly denied.

It’s striking how much information the government collects but then does not review. So you might be the first person to ask for a particular body of records and put them together to identify an important trend which you can share with leaders who weren’t paying attention to the issue. Your local journalists may also be very interested in the information you have gathered.

Sometimes it’s hard to even know which records exist. That’s where documents commonly known as records retention schedules come in handy. Government agencies use these to track which records they keep and how long they hold onto them. Use the schedules to help you see what you might be able to obtain. These are available all over the country. Just for fun, I looked up the city of Los Angeles — they call them records disposition schedules and found them for agencies ranging from the Police Department to the zoo. The agency of interest to you might use a different name for the document, so call them and ask if they have a written guide that shows which records they maintain and for how long.

How I did it: I started investigating police car chases after I saw the government keeps summaries of those incidents, including how many people are arrested or injured. I saw I could add up those figures and see if the benefits of the chases outweighed the risks and harm. I discovered that chases in recent years usually didn’t end with an arrest, and that lots of people get hurt, including cops and bystanders.

If you’re interested in scrutinizing the type of misconduct we saw in Minneapolis, you could request use of force reports. New Jersey made those public a few years ago, and Newark Star-Ledger journalists used them to great effect. ProPublica has that data available here for a fee.

If I were investigating a case of violence by the police I’d ask for:

  • The use of force reports filed by the officers involved.
  • Related incident reports.
  • Computer-assisted dispatch reports.
  • 911 phone call recordings.
  • Body-worn and vehicle-mounted camera recordings.

I might also request policies that dictate how an agency handles complaints against officers. Some states consider substantiated complaints against individual officers to be public records, so you could request them, depending on where you live. WNYC has a helpful breakdown of where that information is public. If you’re looking for video from police body cameras, the Reporters Committee has a guide that shows the places where those are considered public. If you want to obtain recordings of 911 calls, they have a guide for those, too.

You could also be more general and ask the relevant department for substantiated internal affairs complaints alleging excessive force in the past year or so, if those are public in your state. Departments might keep summary data on internal affairs complaints, so ask for the most recent copy of that, too.

3. Identify the power players and engage them.

Engaging law enforcement leaders is essential to understanding policing, and their involvement is key to fixing problems. My access and experience as a white man who works for a news organization may be different than someone else’s experience. It also depends on who you talk to and their openness to criticism. But I think we stand the best chance of a good outcome if we deal with each other respectfully.

Many policing issues are handled at the local, county or state level. Part of your work will involve figuring out who is responsible for the issue you’re concerned about.

“All policing is local,” former Milwaukee police Chief Edward A. Flynn told me. Like many cities, Milwaukee is also experiencing unrest and criticism of the police. Flynn, a well-known law enforcement leader, encouraged conversations between citizens and cops, possibly aided by a neutral third party like a local faith leader.

“The key to changing policing is on the ground level,” he said. He added that it helps for citizens to praise the good work they see from their officers. He encouraged the public to consider crime statistics when scrutinizing police tactics.

I have found that the police themselves are often open to talking to me about the problems in their profession. Many I have talked to feel bad when things go wrong.

How I did it: I’ve been amazed at who is willing to talk to me when I simply take the time to ask. As part of my investigation into police car chases, I talked to a former cop who lost her police officer husband when his vehicle was struck during a high-speed pursuit. I was touched by the way she took hours from her busy life to tell me some of her most painful memories and share her insights as a former cop.

I took my findings to the attorney general, the state’s largest police union and to lawmakers who vowed action. “It appears to me there’s a lot more harm done than good right now,” one of them said about the high-speed incidents.

“If the community has an issue either positive or negative with their law enforcement, then they should definitely have a conversation with the mayor, council and police chief,” said New Jersey Assemblyman Gordon Johnson, a former cop who has participated in community discussion about police issues.

Contact information for law enforcement leaders is often available online. They may regularly attend meetings that are open to the public.

4. Presenting findings in a fair and persuasive manner is a powerful way to spur reform.

Show police leaders the problem that concerns you, using specific examples and quantifying the damage broadly. Show them the harm. Be careful to be fair. Frame the violations by showing how they go against policies or laws or best practices. Back up what you’re saying with the evidence you’ve acquired.

How I did it: To highlight the dangers of police car chases, I introduced readers to Eric Larson, a young father killed when his car was hit by a motorcyclist fleeing police. Then I quantified the harm based on the records I had obtained: “New Jersey police pursuits killed at least 55 people in the past decade and injured more than 2,500.”

Remember that there’s always a different view to your perspective. Integrate it into your presentation if it is legitimate. Acknowledging the counterpoints helps you focus and ask tougher questions. In the car chase story, I made sure to also note incidents in which police chased a suspected killer and men wanted in connection to a shooting. Sometimes police chase violent criminals, but is it worthwhile for cops to chase someone for a traffic violation?

Policing is tough work, and there are times when cops use justified force. Differentiate how the issue you identified deviates from what’s appropriate.

5. Follow up relentlessly until change is made.

Change is incremental and can take years. You will likely have to repeat yourself and persist in your efforts. But if you’ve found an issue of serious public importance — like the use of force incidents we’ve seen lately from the police — there may be ongoing examples you can point to as you make your case to decision-makers.

It may be worthwhile to reach out to local journalists with what you’ve found. News outlets often have a tip line you can call. Or, find a reporter who covers similar issues and call or email them with what you’ve found. I take calls like this frequently and look forward to them. Academics who study criminal justice may also be interested. You can look them up at your local college or university. When reaching out to reporters or academics, keep it brief and focus on the facts.

The wave of protests is hitting home for many people, including in my newsroom in New Jersey. On Monday, police arrested my Asbury Park Press colleague Gustavo Martínez Contreras after he filmed officers tackling two minors to the ground in Asbury Park.

I’m continuing to investigate police accountability problems in New Jersey this year in partnership with ProPublica’s Local Reporting Network. If you have a tip for me, please share it.

If you have questions about applying the suggestions in this column, please email me at aford3@gannettnj.com. And if you find anything interesting as you start to investigate law enforcement practices, please let me know. I may want to follow up or promote your work online.

  • 100 people who’ve lived to 100 were asked the secret to a long, happy life. Here are their answers.
    Photo credit: CanvaThree older adults eat ice cream outside a store.
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    100 people who’ve lived to 100 were asked the secret to a long, happy life. Here are their answers.

    The average 100-year-old surveyed only “feels” 68. That’s incredible.

    UnitedHealthcare (UHC) recently interviewed 100 centenarians, or people who have lived to the ripe age of 100.

    Fascinatingly, 100-year-olds feel younger than ever. The report reveals that the average centenarian only “feels” about 68. It’s a number that’s dropping dramatically. In 2015, when UHC conducted a similar survey, the average respondent said they felt 79. That’s incredible.

    What that ultimately means is that these folks can teach us an awful lot about how to live both a long and joyful life, how to feel decades younger, and how to keep living life to the fullest into our 100s and beyond. Here are some of their secrets:

    1. Staying up-to-date on tech keeps you young

    You might think of centenarians clinging to their rotary phones and the vinyl record players they had long before they were “cool.” You’d be wrong.

    UHC found that 100-year-olds are experimenting with ChatGPT and other AI—around 27% of them. And a stunning 40% of them regularly play video games.

    2. A strong body can go the distance

    Centenarians have changed their approach to longevity in the past decade. Compared to 2015, far more respondents today are doing regular strength training and monitoring their diet.

    Overall, they’re more active in almost every way. A higher percentage of 100-year-olds are doing cardio, gardening, and even meditating or practicing intentional stress relief. Meditation jumped from 29% of centenarians to 42% today.

    “Staying active keeps my heart strong, mind sharp, body moving, spirit high, and health steady every day,” one said.

    The only activity that declined was walking and hiking, and only by a small margin. But these busy seniors had to find the time to hit the gym somewhere.

    3. Finding humor in daily life is the best medicine

    It’s one thing when Joe Schmoe says “laughter is the best medicine.” It’s another when some of our oldest citizens are living proof that it’s true.

    It might be reading between the lines, but the cranky and miserly don’t seem as likely to make it to 100. Eighty-five percent of respondents said they laugh often and find that having a sense of humor comes easily to them.

    “A good belly laugh can make you feel better than any pill, I’ll tell you that,” one said.

    4. There’s something to look forward to at every age

    One of the most interesting questions asked of the participants was about their “best decade.”

    The answers from the 100 centenarians, who’ve lived through and seen it all, reveal that there’s so much good to find in every season of life. Life doesn’t go downhill after a certain age; you just have to learn to appreciate what it has to offer.

    Your 20s are for freedom and exploration. Your 30s and 40s are all about family. Your 50s and 60s are the best for community and friendship. Your 70s and beyond are about finding contentment and joy in the simple things.

    Even in the harder decades, the centenarians now have the perspective to know there was always light at the end of the tunnel:

    “I’d tell myself to embrace every messy moment because it all works out in the end. I really needed to hear that in my late teens when everything felt like such a big deal.”

    5. “Feeling old” has nothing to do with age and is sometimes out of your control

    Fascinatingly, the respondents were asked when they first started to “feel old.” Their answers had nothing to do with a specific age.

    It came down to the moments: giving up driving, the death of a spouse, and moving out of a beloved home and into a smaller place where they could age.

    There’s something peaceful about that. Some things may be in your control—keeping your body and mind sharp can delay certain events. Others are completely out of your control. But the overarching theme is that there’s no reason to fear a number.

    6. Family and friends are key to survival

    Being isolated and lonely is devastating for your health and longevity. Seventy-eight percent of the seniors in this report, thriving at the age of 100, credit a big part of their vigor to regularly spending time with friends and family.

    “They are everything to me. I try to spend as much time with my family as I can,” one of the 100-year-olds said. “Life is short; you never know when it’ll be the last day.”

    7. The advice they’d give their younger selves is what we all need to hear

    Centenarians say the secret to happiness is really no secret at all. It’s mind-numbingly simple: Don’t worry so much. Spend time with your loved ones. Move your body. Be true to yourself.

    The difference is that these 100-year-olds have the wisdom and urgency to really mean it. Don’t wait until you’re their age to start living like you know you should.

    “If you don’t ask, you don’t get,” one said, referring to getting a promotion at work, but more generally, anything you truly want. In other words, go for it.

    The overall trends identified in the report are surprising and hopeful.

    In 10 years, our centenarians will likely be even more focused on their physical and mental health, finding even more joy in their lives as they age, and, through it all, feeling younger than ever. We can learn a lot from watching what they’re doing right.

  • 19 viral photos show what happens after drinking 1, 2, and 3 glasses of wine
    Before and after photos of people who drank wine.

    Marcos Alberti’s “3 Glasses” project began with a joke and a few drinks with his friends.

    The photo project originally depicted Alberti’s friends drinking, first immediately after work and then after one, two, and three glasses of wine.

    But after Imgur user minabear circulated the story, “3 Glasses” became more than just a joke. In fact, it went viral, garnering more than 1 million views and nearly 1,800 comments in its first week. So Alberti started taking more pictures and not just of his friends.

    “The first picture was taken right away when our guests (had) just arrived at the studio in order to capture the stress and the fatigue after a full day after working all day long and from also facing rush hour traffic to get here,” Alberti explained on his website. “Only then fun time and my project could begin. At the end of every glass of wine, a snapshot, nothing fancy, a face and a wall, 3 times…by the end of the third glass several smiles emerged and many stories were told.”

    Why was the series so popular? Anyone who has ever had a long day at work and needed to “wine” down will quickly see why.

    Take a look:

    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos
    Drinking, wine, viral photos

     This article originally appeared ten years ago. It has been updated.

  • Two vacationing paramedics deliver a baby at 30,000 feet with a shoelace and borrowed blankets
    Photo credit: Canva PhotosA woman on a Delta flight unexpectedly went into labor. Two vacationing paramedics sprang into action.

    The best flights are uneventful. Timely, smooth, and relaxing. Even a little boring. However, that’s not always in the cards.

    A lot of things can happen in the air, including unforeseen medical emergencies. Thankfully, this one has a happy ending thanks to the help from two selfless strangers.

    Woman on Delta flight unexpectedly goes into labor minutes before landing

    Ashley Blair was pregnant and due in about two weeks, but really wanted to be with her mom in Oregon when the baby arrived. So, she hopped a Delta flight through Atlanta and was well on her way when things took an unexpected turn.

    Pregnant mothers are generally discouraged from flying this late into a pregnancy, and some airlines may forbid them entirely. But life happens. Sometimes, travel is unavoidable, and in Blair’s case, she still had a few weeks left before she was supposed to go into labor, making the risk relatively low.

    The baby had other ideas.

    CNN reports that Blair went into labor when her Delta flight was about 30 minutes away from landing at Portland International.

    Two hero paramedics step up to help

    A paramedic is never truly off the clock. Even though Tina Fritz and Kaarin Powell, two friends and emergency workers, were flying home from vacation in the Dominican Republic, they’d already been called to action not long after the plane took off.

    Fritz and Powell were attending to another passenger when flight attendants made an urgent announcement: Was there a doctor onboard?

    They rushed to Blair’s side and, with the help of flight attendants, began shuffling passengers around to make enough room to deliver the baby. Unfortunately, there were no medical tools or sterile equipment available on the plane, and the baby was coming fast, so there was no time to lose.

    delta, planes, airplanes, flying, airports, labor, babies, newborns, baby delivery, new mom, kind strangers, air travel, emergency, heartwarming
    150-some passengers, and the crew, all pitched in to help. Photo Credit: Edgar Zuniga Jr./Flickr

    Passengers work together to help

    Right as Blair was getting ready to start pushing, the pilots announced that the plane was about to begin its landing procedure. That usually means all passengers and crew must take their seats.

    This was going to have to happen fast.

    Fritz and Powell told flight attendants that they needed blankets, and lots of them. Passengers all over the plane passed theirs back so that Blair could be comfortable as she began pushing.

    They also needed shoelaces, of all things. One to use as a tourniquet for an IV, and another to tie off the umbilical cord. That is, before they cut it with a butter knife, which was all that was available.

    Truly an amazing MacGyver-like delivery. Just a few quick pushes and the baby was born. Some passengers barely even knew anything was happening outside of a few murmurs and folks standing up or moving around.

    According to all reports, Blair and baby girl Brielle were healthy and stable when the plane arrived.

    A beautiful irony in the teamwork

    Airplanes and airports are notorious for bringing out the worst in humanity. Passengers berate flight attendants, fight over seats, and throw etiquette and human decency into the wind over the most minor inconveniences.

    So, it’s amazing to see an example of 150-some odd strangers working together to tackle a true medical emergency. It wasn’t the smooth, convenient, and peaceful ride some passengers probably had in mind—but it’s one they won’t soon forget.

  • A baby was born landing at JFK. The pilot ran with the traffic controller’s name pick on the spot.
    Photo credit: CanvaA pregnant woman on an airplane and a pilot talking on his headphones.

    There’s a particular kind of magic that happens when professionals doing routine work get hit with a genuinely extraordinary situation. The instinct is usually one of two things: clinical efficiency or unexpected warmth. Sometimes, gloriously, both.

    That’s exactly what happened on April 4, 2026, when Caribbean Airlines Flight BW005 was descending into John F. Kennedy International Airport from Kingston, Jamaica. One of the passengers, a heavily pregnant woman, went into labor. The pilot calmly radioed Kennedy Tower with the situation and requested a direct routing in. Air traffic control lined everything up: clearance to land on Runway 4R, ground crew briefed, medical personnel arranged at the gate.

    Then, a few minutes after touchdown, ground control checked in.

    aviation, air traffic control, JFK, kindness, Caribbean Airlines
    An airplane pilot. talking to air traffic controller. Photo credit: Canva

    “Caribbean five, ground.”

    “Yes sir, go ahead.”

    “Is it out yet?”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “All right. Tell her she’s got to name it Kennedy.”

    “Ahh, Kennedy. Will do.”

    “All right. Have a good day.”

    That was it. The audio, which CBS Mornings shared on April 6, has been making the rounds online ever since, mostly because of the timing of the whole thing. A mother had just delivered a healthy baby on a Boeing 737 mid-descent. The pilot had just helped coordinate that situation while flying a plane. And the ground controller, having calmly walked the flight through one of the more unusual arrivals at JFK that week, decided the appropriate sign-off was a dad joke about naming the kid after the airport.

    According to Caribbean Airlines, the flight never even formally declared an emergency. The crew handled it within standard procedures, and upon landing the mother and newborn were attended to by medical personnel and received the care they needed. Everyone was fine.

    What’s stuck with people online isn’t really the medical drama, though. It’s the ground controller’s instinct to make a joke. There’s a version of this exchange that’s all clipped efficiency, and we’d never have heard about it. But this particular controller, in the middle of a shift at one of the busiest airspaces in the country, decided the moment called for a small human gesture. A pop of warmth on a frequency that’s usually nothing but headings and altitudes.

    It’s nice to see that the people running our infrastructure are people. They’re listening, they’re paying attention, and once in a while they’re trying to give a stranger they’ll never meet a little something to remember the day by.

    Whether the baby actually ends up named Kennedy is up to the family. But somewhere out there is a woman who can tell her child a true story that starts with “you were born on a plane, and the man on the radio who guided us in picked your name.”

    Hard to top that.

  • Older millennials share their biggest mistakes so you can learn from them
    Photo credit: CanvaA millennial woman stares at the ground

    It wasn’t long ago that a millennial was seen as a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, are now in their mid-40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

    They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

    The Reddit thread that hit a nerve

    A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 what their biggest mistakes were at this point in life and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

    They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

    The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It’s tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

    Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

    On health and relationships

    1. “Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf.” – Kusanagi8811

    2. “Not getting healthy earlier.” – zombiearchivist

    3. “Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost.” – Hrekires

    4. “Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else.” – lenalilly227

    5. “Smoking and not dealing with my sh** the right way.” – Allenrw3

    6. “Pining after the wrong person.” – runikepisteme

    7. “I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?” – guscallee

    8. “Take care of your f***ing back. Lift with your knees. Sure it’s rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won’t just magically go away by resting and ‘taking it easy’ for a week.” – GuyTallman

    9. “I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance.” – CharlieChooper

    10. “I’m 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I’m in relatively good health. I’m starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30’s. I’m trying to rectify that now, but it’s hard. So that I guess.” – dartastic

    On work, money and missed opportunities

    11. “I’m not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I ‘couldn’t afford to make the wrong choice.’ Consequently, I’m now 39 and, though I’ve had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action.” – tomwaste

    12. “Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice.” – MrDundee666

    13. “I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture.” – Arkie_MTB

    14. “If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got.” – PutAForkInHim

    15. “Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them.” – ezZiioFTW

    A man with a regrettable sunburn. Photo credit: Canva

    16. “Not wearing sunscreen.” – blueboxreddress

    17. “Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20’s, and early 30’s were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.” – [Deleted]

    18. “When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them.” – mpssss22

    19.“Should have bought a home. We qualified 20 years ago for enough to buy a small 2 bedroom but I didn’t think we could afford it. That 2 bedroom would be worth nearly 3Xs and paid off by now. We pay nearly double in rent what our mortgage would have been. Gotta love the SF bay area cost of living.” -Thelazywitch

    20. “Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money.” – SensibleReply

    What younger generations can take from this

    Reading through these responses, one thing becomes clear: most of these regrets aren’t about big dramatic failures, they’re about the small, quiet choices that compound over time. The good news is that the same principle works in reverse. Small, quiet choices toward health, connection, and financial security add up, too.

    This artice originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

  • Jimmy Fallon asked people to share their wildest stories from their bad summer jobs
    Photo credit: YouTubeHis face is all of us after that first summer job paycheck.

    Call it a rite of passage, a baptism by fire, or simply a necessary evil, but a terrible summer job is pretty much a staple of young adulthood. Those concert tickets aren’t gonna pay for themselves, after all. Some summer jobs are heinous by the sheer amount of manual labor involved. Others are just plain weird. I remember one year working as a “live strolling table.” Yep, just walking around attached to an elaborately dressed table offering hors d’oeuvres and champagne. A human-furniture hybrid. How do you put that on a resume?

    No matter the role, there is one thing all summer jobs have in common: they teach us humility in one way or another … especially once we see that first paycheck. There’s simply no way to prepare for seeing two weeks worth of hard work equate to a (usually) paltry sum. Hopefully that experience alone makes generous tippers of us all.

    Back in 2022, during one of his popular “hashtag” bits, Jimmy Fallon asked people to share their own “funny, weird, or embarrassing story about a bad summer job” as part of his iconic #hashtags challenge.

    When Jimmy Fallon asked, people delivered

    Here are 15 that might make your own summer job memory feel a little less dreadful:

    “I planted trees for the US Forest Service one summer in HS. Our foreman would go through our lunches, eat our cookies and chips, and take bites out of our sandwiches. We were all about 15 so too afraid to tell.” – @dumpster_diva 

    “One summer I worked at Taco Bell during lunch and Furr’s cafeteria during dinner. People would see me at both and ask if I was twins.” – @kerrikgray

    “As a young comedian I was hired to MC an event for a furniture store. The owner paid me 5 bucks for every time I would fake trip and fall on my way to the mic. He said he was a 3 stooges fan.” @Brentfo4242

    “I applied for a job while in high school at a toy store. I called back days after the interview asking if they had any news for me. They told me I got the job, and they forgot to tell me. They had me scheduled for that day and was told ‘you’re late.’” – @RockerSam91

    “In high school, I worked at an insurance agency…let’s just say the bus ride to and from work was the best part of the job.” – @SharonZurcher

    “In high school I worked at a bounce house company. My first day working was an elementary school field day and the huge inflatable slide starting deflating and collapsing with kids at the top…angry parents staring at me like I had an answer for this at 16 years old.” @calamari_carly

    “In middle school my friend and I got paid to fill, lick and seal about 500 envelopes with documents for a lawyer – a penny per envelope. 3 hours later, we asked for 2 cans of soda from his cooler. He said sure, and took $2 each from our pay. We made a dollar.” – @CameronFontana

    It gets weirder from here

    “I worked at a dog kennel. A guy brought in 2 dogs to stay a month. He told me to give a pill every morning to dog #1. So, I did for the month. When he returned, I brought out dog #1 and he said, ‘Hi, dog #2!’ My face turned so red. Oh, well. The dog survived.” – @TheTomeWebster

    “I babysat identical twin boys where one constantly screamed and got into mischief but potty trained early while the other was quiet, well behaved but always blowing out diapers. They never did anything ‘identical’. I’m shocked that I still wanted kids after that!” – @overbaughs

    “Worked at Crumbl in high school. One coworker had the exact same shifts as me, and she was a theater kid. Like MAJOR theater kid, was cracked out 24/7, randomly performing theater at work. I am not proud to say I memorized 10 Shakespeare monologues because of her.” – @itstherealmeboo

    “I held human hearts with a white cotton glove during open heart surgeries, so they didn’t ‘slip’.…No pressure! That’s why l am now a planetary medium and asteroid deflector. Much less stress.” – @rosamalvaceae

    “I worked for a local sweet corn farm. I had to sort the corn into boxes for their stands around the state or local grocery stores. It came off the truck onto a conveyor belt by the 1000s. I literally saw thousands of corn cobs in my dreams at night.” – @jdianemiller

    “In high school my mom got me a job working with the city to clean an island in the local lake that ducks lived on. Everyday I had to fight a duck, and everyday I needed a bandaid after getting bit by a duck. It was a nightmare and I still hate ducks 30 years later.” @KingSergioS

    “Hired at an amusement park for the summer, taking summer college classes at the same time…Show up for my 1st day to a supervisor who says ‘Oh, the girl who didn’t show up!’ Proceeds to show me the previous week’s schedule where I had 40 hours during my class time. He rolls his eyes when I explain and gives me every crappy task he can find…….I left after the 2nd day, never picked up my check, but kept my employee ID & got in for free all summer!” – @trixiebelle47

    What bad summer jobs actually teach us

    While certain summer jobs, like the ones above, sound like a total nightmare, there have been studies that indicate they may lead to better school outcomes, similar to other out-of-school activities such as sports and clubs. That said, recent reporting from CNBC and other outlets confirms that low-wage, entry-level positions are among the first to be compromised by the rise of artificial intelligence. So unfortunately, not as many heart-holding gigs will be available.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • Couple shares photo of cherry tree they planted as teens has now ‘mirrored’ their pregnancy
    Photo credit: CanvaA couple posing for pregnancy photos and a cherry tree.
    ,

    Couple shares photo of cherry tree they planted as teens has now ‘mirrored’ their pregnancy

    The cherry tree they planted as teenagers never sprouted a single offshoot. Then she got pregnant.

    In 2007, Wes Dixon gave his teenage girlfriend Kelsey Dixon (@kelseyrileydixon) a cherry tree sapling for their first anniversary. They planted it in his mother’s backyard in Pennsylvania and did what seemed like a sweet but slightly impractical thing: they decided to take a photo with it every year.

    They kept that promise for nearly two decades. Through high school graduation, through moving 3,000 miles away, through marriage, through the year they forgot and had to make peace with the gap in the series — they kept coming back to that tree. The annual photo became a living timeline of their relationship, the tree growing taller and wider behind them as they changed too.

    Then came the pregnancy photo. Kelsey was expecting twins, and her mother-in-law was keeping an eye on the tree back in Pennsylvania. That’s when she noticed something she’d never seen before in 17 years.

    The cherry tree had sprouted new shoots from one of its roots. Basal sprouts, sometimes called suckers, a cluster of small new growth emerging from the base of the original tree. In nearly two decades it had never done this. It did it the year the Dixons were expecting their first children.

    “My mom sends me a picture,” Kelsey narrated in a video posted to her Instagram, “and there’s a little baby tree growing. She pointed out that it’s growing from one of the roots of the main cherry tree.”

    The video hit 48 million views. Kelsey and Wes appeared on ABC News and the TODAY show to tell the story. The comment that seemed to capture what people were feeling: “We’re so much more connected to these beautiful living beings on earth than we can even fathom.”

    There’s no scientific reason to think the tree knew. Basal sprouting is a normal form of vegetative reproduction for ornamental cherries, triggered by stress, root disturbance, or just the right conditions underground. The timing was coincidence.

    But it was a very good coincidence, and the Dixons are not inclined to overthink it. Kelsey has since written a children’s book called “Roots and Wings,” inspired by the tradition and the sprout, and partnered with plant retailer The Sill on a line of trees meant for marking meaningful moments — anniversaries, births, new beginnings.

    They also, for the record, skipped 2019. Kelsey said she’s made her peace with it. “I kind of love it now that we missed it,” she told Newsweek. “It’s a good demonstration of imperfection being part of life and relationships.”

    The tree is still in the backyard. The baby branches are still growing.

  • A school counselor comforted her crying student new to the United States. Her tender response is an emotional lesson in empathy.
    Photo credit: TikTok/@theclassyclinician [with permission]School counselor and social worker Korynn Patterson comforts new student.

    Korynn Patterson, an elementary school counselor and social worker in Maryland, knew exactly what she needed to do when a brand new student walked into her office “sad” and “scared”—she took her into her arms for an empathetic embrace.

    Patterson shared the sweet interaction with the young student who recently moved to the United States from a Spanish-speaking country. And with the help of a fellow female student to translate, she was able to comfort her.

    “Our new student doesn’t speak any English and I paid my translator in fruit snacks ☺️,” she wrote in the caption.

    @theclassyclinician

    Our new student doesn’t speak any English and I paid my translator in fruit snacks ☺️ How would you comfort and empower her? #fyp #explore #schoollife #schoolcounselor #socialwork

    ♬ Relaxing Music – kucing tetangga

    Ms. Patterson models empathy with emotional student

    In the viral video shared with her followers on TikTok, Patterson hugged her student and asked her student translator to say, “I know you must be very scared, but can you tell her you’re very brave? You’re a very brave girl.”

    The student is crying and tells Ms. Patterson that she misses her mom and doesn’t want to go to class. Patterson responds, “Tell her I am going to sit in class with you for a little bit, okay?”

    Patterson offers her a fidget toy to help her with anxiety and more reassurance that she “knows she is scared [and] that she is there to help her.” The three keep things light talking about Paw Patrol. Ms. Patterson then tells the upset student that they can spend time at lunch and recess together as well.

    @theclassyclinician

    #stitch with @theclassyclinician Here’s the update before the real update! ☺️ I will be posting the students update video on Monday. Stay TUNED and Thank you guys so much for ALL of your support! Welcome to the family! ❤️✨ #schoolcounselor #socialwork #fyp #explore

    ♬ Relaxing Music – kucing tetangga

    In the video overaly, Patterson explains more about the girl’s story.

    “At her age, school was optional in her country,” she shared. “She is experiencing HUGE culture shock…I’m always happy to be a safe space for my students. Being that her whole world is changing, she needs to feel some sense of safety. I affirm them just as they affirm me.”

    @theclassyclinician

    Here’s the update on the girls that have stolen our hearts, our little translator and new student. She calls me azul 🦋🩵 Thank you all SO MUCH for your love and support. All links to support us are in my bio 🥹💙 Stay tuned for the next update! #schoolcounselor #socialwork #fyp #explore #schoollife

    ♬ original sound – theclassyclinician

    Ms. Patterson reacts

    In an interview with Upworthy, Patterson shared, “I am overwhelmed in the best way by all the love and the support that we have gotten from all of you! I am so grateful to be in position to touch so many lives of all ages, races, and walks of life.”

    She created an Amazon Wishlist for those looking to support her students.

    Patterson also created two follow-up videos (here and here) that updated viewers on the student. In one video, the girls are back in Ms. Patterson’s office eating lunch and chatting with each other. They tell her they are now “best friends.”

    Ms. Patterson shared that the student was moved down a grade to help her “catch up” with English, and the young girl notes that she is trying to learn English through her schoolwork. Ms. Patterson continues to pick up Spanish through her students.

    Viewers respond

    The emotional video garnered an overwhelming response from viewers, who praised Ms. Patterson for her tenderness towards the student as well as her translator:

    “the baby who’s translating is such an empath i’m crying rn🥺.”

    “She is not only translating words, she translates empathy. That girl did an amazing job.”

    “As a future school counselor, I am CRYING 🥺 kids are so precious.”

    “All of us immigrant kids are crying coz we know exactly how that lil girl feels 🥺🥺”

    “I cried for this whole interaction. My heart breaks for baby girl but you guys are awesome.”

    “The fact she felt SAFE with you speaks volumes!!!!! Great job Queen 👸🏽.”

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