5 ways everyday citizens can start holding police departments accountable

This article first appeared on ProPublica. You can read it here. The death of George Floyd at the hands of police in Minneapolis has drawn historic levels of interest in police misconduct and drawn condemnation from law enforcement leaders nationwide. As a reporter covering law enforcement for the Asbury Park Press in New Jersey, and…

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ArrayPhoto credit: assets.rebelmouse.io

This article first appeared on ProPublica. You can read it here.

The death of George Floyd at the hands of police in Minneapolis has drawn historic levels of interest in police misconduct and drawn condemnation from law enforcement leaders nationwide.

As a reporter covering law enforcement for the Asbury Park Press in New Jersey, and now in partnership with ProPublica’s Local Reporting Network, I use investigative reporting techniques to strengthen police accountability. Other journalists do the same. But, in truth, any citizen can apply the same methods to ensure the law enforcement system they’re funding is serving them well.

Police culture can be insular and tough to penetrate. But I’ve been surprised by how often it’s possible, though time consuming, to expose important issues by requesting and examining records and data from police departments and other government agencies and engaging citizens and key leaders. So here are five techniques concerned citizens, journalists and policymakers can use to examine police conduct in their communities.


1. Understand the policies and laws that govern police conduct.

If you’re alarmed by what you saw in Minneapolis, or other recent incidents of apparent police misconduct, the first step is to find out if the agency in question has a written policy on the use of force. Does the policy dictate when officers should or shouldn’t use force? What tactics are they allowed to use? Is there any rule against choking a suspect?

It’s important to know if the officers involved were following the policies and procedures that are supposed to guide their behavior. Police actions that strike an onlooker as inappropriate may actually be within a department’s rules. It’s possible the rules themselves are inconsistent with best practices elsewhere.

Ask the department for its policies on the practices that concern you, like restraining suspects or the use of pepper spray or Tasers. You may also need to request rules set by a county or state authority. Ask for written copies. You may be required to file a formal public records request, which I will describe below. And if there is no existing written policy, that might be something worth questioning itself.

If you’re having trouble understanding a policy, try running it by an attorney, academic, elected official or a journalist in your community.

How I did it: I did a deep dive into policies about drug testing after a police captain was killed in a car crash in 2016, and I exposed that he was drunk and on drugs at the time. I spoke to his chief and learned their department didn’t have a policy for random drug testing. I wondered why that was the case and looked to the state attorney general’s office, which sets many police rules. The rules allowed departments to choose whether they wanted to do random testing, and my reporting identified more than 100 that did not. After our story, the state attorney general mandated random drug testing for cops across the state.

2. You are entitled to public records that can show whether rules are being followed. Get them.

Your tax dollars pay for just about everything a police department does, which includes generating tons of reports, dispatch logs, video recordings and data about what officers do every day. Any citizen is entitled to see those public records to understand how the government works.

The agency may say the public records law does not allow you to have access to some documents — information about confidential informants and medical records, for example. The laws that dictate what’s considered public vary by state, so check out the national guide by the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press. Information the agency considers off limits may also be redacted, and it may take time to get a response.

Even with the hassles and limitations, public records laws are empowering and I’ve been surprised by how much I can obtain. My policy is always to ask and make a records clerk explain why I can’t have taxpayer-funded records. Follow up to ensure important requests aren’t lost or ignored. Assume you should be able to see everything. Your state’s public records law may even include a presumption that records are open and exemptions are an exception. You may run into roadblocks that you can’t overcome on your own. In some cases, journalism organizations have had to sue to obtain public records. Your budget may not allow for an attorney, but some states have mediators that you can go to if you think your request is being wrongly denied.

It’s striking how much information the government collects but then does not review. So you might be the first person to ask for a particular body of records and put them together to identify an important trend which you can share with leaders who weren’t paying attention to the issue. Your local journalists may also be very interested in the information you have gathered.

Sometimes it’s hard to even know which records exist. That’s where documents commonly known as records retention schedules come in handy. Government agencies use these to track which records they keep and how long they hold onto them. Use the schedules to help you see what you might be able to obtain. These are available all over the country. Just for fun, I looked up the city of Los Angeles — they call them records disposition schedules and found them for agencies ranging from the Police Department to the zoo. The agency of interest to you might use a different name for the document, so call them and ask if they have a written guide that shows which records they maintain and for how long.

How I did it: I started investigating police car chases after I saw the government keeps summaries of those incidents, including how many people are arrested or injured. I saw I could add up those figures and see if the benefits of the chases outweighed the risks and harm. I discovered that chases in recent years usually didn’t end with an arrest, and that lots of people get hurt, including cops and bystanders.

If you’re interested in scrutinizing the type of misconduct we saw in Minneapolis, you could request use of force reports. New Jersey made those public a few years ago, and Newark Star-Ledger journalists used them to great effect. ProPublica has that data available here for a fee.

If I were investigating a case of violence by the police I’d ask for:

  • The use of force reports filed by the officers involved.
  • Related incident reports.
  • Computer-assisted dispatch reports.
  • 911 phone call recordings.
  • Body-worn and vehicle-mounted camera recordings.

I might also request policies that dictate how an agency handles complaints against officers. Some states consider substantiated complaints against individual officers to be public records, so you could request them, depending on where you live. WNYC has a helpful breakdown of where that information is public. If you’re looking for video from police body cameras, the Reporters Committee has a guide that shows the places where those are considered public. If you want to obtain recordings of 911 calls, they have a guide for those, too.

You could also be more general and ask the relevant department for substantiated internal affairs complaints alleging excessive force in the past year or so, if those are public in your state. Departments might keep summary data on internal affairs complaints, so ask for the most recent copy of that, too.

3. Identify the power players and engage them.

Engaging law enforcement leaders is essential to understanding policing, and their involvement is key to fixing problems. My access and experience as a white man who works for a news organization may be different than someone else’s experience. It also depends on who you talk to and their openness to criticism. But I think we stand the best chance of a good outcome if we deal with each other respectfully.

Many policing issues are handled at the local, county or state level. Part of your work will involve figuring out who is responsible for the issue you’re concerned about.

“All policing is local,” former Milwaukee police Chief Edward A. Flynn told me. Like many cities, Milwaukee is also experiencing unrest and criticism of the police. Flynn, a well-known law enforcement leader, encouraged conversations between citizens and cops, possibly aided by a neutral third party like a local faith leader.

“The key to changing policing is on the ground level,” he said. He added that it helps for citizens to praise the good work they see from their officers. He encouraged the public to consider crime statistics when scrutinizing police tactics.

I have found that the police themselves are often open to talking to me about the problems in their profession. Many I have talked to feel bad when things go wrong.

How I did it: I’ve been amazed at who is willing to talk to me when I simply take the time to ask. As part of my investigation into police car chases, I talked to a former cop who lost her police officer husband when his vehicle was struck during a high-speed pursuit. I was touched by the way she took hours from her busy life to tell me some of her most painful memories and share her insights as a former cop.

I took my findings to the attorney general, the state’s largest police union and to lawmakers who vowed action. “It appears to me there’s a lot more harm done than good right now,” one of them said about the high-speed incidents.

“If the community has an issue either positive or negative with their law enforcement, then they should definitely have a conversation with the mayor, council and police chief,” said New Jersey Assemblyman Gordon Johnson, a former cop who has participated in community discussion about police issues.

Contact information for law enforcement leaders is often available online. They may regularly attend meetings that are open to the public.

4. Presenting findings in a fair and persuasive manner is a powerful way to spur reform.

Show police leaders the problem that concerns you, using specific examples and quantifying the damage broadly. Show them the harm. Be careful to be fair. Frame the violations by showing how they go against policies or laws or best practices. Back up what you’re saying with the evidence you’ve acquired.

How I did it: To highlight the dangers of police car chases, I introduced readers to Eric Larson, a young father killed when his car was hit by a motorcyclist fleeing police. Then I quantified the harm based on the records I had obtained: “New Jersey police pursuits killed at least 55 people in the past decade and injured more than 2,500.”

Remember that there’s always a different view to your perspective. Integrate it into your presentation if it is legitimate. Acknowledging the counterpoints helps you focus and ask tougher questions. In the car chase story, I made sure to also note incidents in which police chased a suspected killer and men wanted in connection to a shooting. Sometimes police chase violent criminals, but is it worthwhile for cops to chase someone for a traffic violation?

Policing is tough work, and there are times when cops use justified force. Differentiate how the issue you identified deviates from what’s appropriate.

5. Follow up relentlessly until change is made.

Change is incremental and can take years. You will likely have to repeat yourself and persist in your efforts. But if you’ve found an issue of serious public importance — like the use of force incidents we’ve seen lately from the police — there may be ongoing examples you can point to as you make your case to decision-makers.

It may be worthwhile to reach out to local journalists with what you’ve found. News outlets often have a tip line you can call. Or, find a reporter who covers similar issues and call or email them with what you’ve found. I take calls like this frequently and look forward to them. Academics who study criminal justice may also be interested. You can look them up at your local college or university. When reaching out to reporters or academics, keep it brief and focus on the facts.

The wave of protests is hitting home for many people, including in my newsroom in New Jersey. On Monday, police arrested my Asbury Park Press colleague Gustavo Martínez Contreras after he filmed officers tackling two minors to the ground in Asbury Park.

I’m continuing to investigate police accountability problems in New Jersey this year in partnership with ProPublica’s Local Reporting Network. If you have a tip for me, please share it.

If you have questions about applying the suggestions in this column, please email me at aford3@gannettnj.com. And if you find anything interesting as you start to investigate law enforcement practices, please let me know. I may want to follow up or promote your work online.

  • Kevin Nealon shares the big lie he told Robin Williams so that he could be his friend
    Comedians and old friends Robin Williams and Kevin Nealon.Photo credit: Canva, Darsie, sarahinvegas, Wikimedia Commons, Flickr

    Comedian Kevin Nealon and the late, great Robin Williams first became friends in 1979 in Los Angeles. But according to Nealon, as kind and lovely as Williams was, it took a little bit of maneuvering on his part to make it happen. In fact, Nealon claims he had to outright lie to lock the friendship in.

    He recently took to X and Threads to recount a heartwarming memory of pretending he knew anything about cars just to spend a little time with the brilliant comic.

    X user @ISScottDavenport shared this Ellis Rosen cartoon. Photo credit: Scott DavenPort, X

    “Robin Williams had done his set and left the comedy club. Soon after, he walks back in annoyed.

    I said, what’s going on?

    He said his car wouldn’t start.

    I go, maybe I can help. I know absolutely nothing about cars. He doesn’t know that. I just wanted to make him think I was helping him.

    So we go outside. He’s got a Range Rover.

    We open the hood. He’s leaning in, swearing.

    I’m looking around. Nodding. Like I’m a mechanic.

    I have no idea what any of it is.

    After a minute, I say, ‘Yeah… I don’t have my tools with me. You might need a mechanic.’

    Then I said…’Robin, can I give you a ride home?’”

    @jeff.rock

    #robinwilliams #80s #snl #jeffrock #comedyvideo @Adorkable Ora @Leigh Ann🍻 @Jerald Branch @ᘺσσԃყ🫶🏼Dσρρҽʅɠαɳɠҽɾ.ԃσʂ @🎭❤️Jodi ❤️📺 @Emiliya R. R. @BlueMoon

    ♬ original sound – Jeff.Rock

    The simplicity and honesty in this one post have so many fans of both comedians truly engaged. Some share their own funny takes. “A technical comedian is an oxymoron,” jokes one X user. Another writes, “The classic mechanic technique: nod seriously and suggest a mechanic.”

    Another commenter notes how wholesome Nealon’s story is: “‘I don’t have my tools with me’ is the perfect punch line for a guy who knows nothing about cars. You gave a legend a ride home and a great story to tell. That’s a win-win.”

    This person shared their own story of seeing Williams when he dropped in as a surprise guest at the San Francisco Punch Line: “I saw him do a surprise, unannounced set at Punch Line SF, right after Brett Butler. He was a whirling dervish across the tiny stage, blessing us in the front seats with his frenetic sweat. It was amazing, and I’ll never forget it.”

    One Threads user shared how much they love stories like these, writing, “I could listen to people recount stories about Robin Williams for hours and hours. That’d be such a great podcast (or something). Just actors sharing stories about their good friend, Robin.”

    In past social media posts, Nealon has heaped praise and love on his old friend.

    On Instagram, he shared a painting he made of Williams, relaying how their friendship began and blossomed over decades:

    “My caricature painting of the brilliant Robin Williams. This was the Robin I first met in 1979 in a Los Angeles comedy club. (Before ‘Mork and Mindy.’) No one was quicker or funnier! I was absolutely floored by his wit, movement, improv skills, characters, and voices. Pure genius on the level of Jonathan Winters. As much as I laughed, I also found myself depressed because I knew I could never be that funny.

    He was Amadeus Mozart, and I would be Antonio Salieri at best. But, I eventually realized that Robin couldn’t be everywhere at once (but almost), so I would probably, at least, get some work. It was always a thrill for me whenever Robin hosted SNL when I was a cast member. Absolutely brilliant! So missed!”

  • Women’s wrestling champion earns praise for going easy on a terrified new wrestler
    Two women facing off to wrestlePhoto credit: Canva
    ,

    Women’s wrestling champion earns praise for going easy on a terrified new wrestler

    When you’re one of the best, it’s easy to get caught up in continuing to prove you’re the best. Displaying your dominance in a sport can be exhilarating as crowds cheer you on. But for one wrestler, fostering a love for the sport is more important. Tamara Humphries is a wrestler at the University of…

    When you’re one of the best, it’s easy to get caught up in continuing to prove you’re the best. Displaying your dominance in a sport can be exhilarating as crowds cheer you on. But for one wrestler, fostering a love for the sport is more important.

    Tamara Humphries is a wrestler at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown who goes by the name Firefly. In a recent video, the college wrestler is intently watching as a referee seemingly explains different starting positions to another wrestler. The newcomer looks visibly terrified as she struggles to figure out how to position her body before the match starts.

    wrestling, girls wrestling, culture, pop culture, Firefly, University of Pittsburgh
    Wrestlers in a match. Photo credit: Canva

    Instead of letting things play out and using her own knowledge to her advantage, Humphries intervened. She taps the referee on the shoulder and signals that he doesn’t need to help. That’s when a sweet display of sportsmanship is shown. The championship wrestler starts from the position the other wrestler seems to be most comfortable with. Humphries also uses much less force while wrestling the girl to the mat.

    For some viewers, the more experienced wrestler took it easy on her competitor. Others saw the wrestling match differently and praised the wrestler for her acknowledgement of the girl’s fear while still giving her a match. Humphries isn’t a stranger to the fear she saw on the other wrestler’s face, which may have played into why her response was to be kind.

    The Pittsburgh native didn’t start wrestling until 10th grade. At the time, her inner-city school didn’t have a girls’ wrestling team, so she had to wrestle with the boys. In an old video uploaded to YouTube, Humphries shares how she was terrified the night before her very first match.

    “Listen, before my first match, I’m literally freaking out in my bed, terrified. I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh,’ cause when I was on the team, there was no sanctioned girls wrestling at this moment,” the wrestler reveals in the year-old clip. “So I’m like, okay…I have to wrestle a boy. I’m looking up on YouTube, freaking boy versus girl wrestling, and it’s a bunch of girls getting actually demolished by guys. I’m like ‘oh my gosh, I’m cooked.’”

    Before joining the boys’ wrestling team, she was a cheerleader and ran track. Wrestling was a complete change that she had to take on alone. With girls’ and women’s wrestling starting to catch on, Humphries wants to do her part to make new wrestlers feel welcome.

    In the text overlay of a recent video, she writes, “Shout out to this super brave girl. This sport is terrifying! Never be afraid to start something new. We all start somewhere.”

    Viewers of the kind video heap praise on the young college athlete.

    One person writes, “U definitely took it easy on her and that was a very noble thing to do. Ive seen other clips of yours and know just how savage you can be when you need to be. You were a great ambassador to the sport for her. Many others would have smelled blood in the water and worked her over.”

    Another says, “This actually made me tear up. Wow. You are a GIRLS GIRL! You gave her a story, one day she’ll tell others, the reason she kept competing is because of this moment. It could’ve gone BAD, but you changed the trajectory. Well done.”

    This commenter adds on to the praise, saying, “I luv this. You showed her grace. Maybe someone did that for you. But it’s possible she can move forward and become better instead of giving up because of this one defining moment. And for you to have that wisdom is why you’re going to move mountains.”

    “Awesome sportsmanship, one of my teammates got clip farmed by a national qualifier this season and it was her first match ever,” another says.

    A coach views the act as a moment to praise both athletes, writing, “You’re great. You know that. You don’t need to show the world all the time. That’s admirable! Can we take a second to praise her? She was clearly scared and nervous. You can see it in her face. But she still went out there and competed. That’s more than most can say. Congrats to both of you from a dusty, old coach.”

    One commenter gushes, “Oh my god she’s trying so hard. This is the most touching thing I’ve seen in so long. You go girls!”

    Humphries reminds people in her caption that women’s wrestling is still new, and praises anyone trying it out: “I love running into people who just started to show them the sport isn’t so bad, with women’s wrestling on the rise, it’s nothing new. Never be afraid to start something new!! You guys are killing it.”

  • A woman was surprised with a party bus for her 60th birthday. She immediately took it to see her own mom battling dementia.
    Mom Michelle celebrates her 60th birthday on a surprise party bus and takes it to visit her mom Jackie, who has dementia and lives in assisted living.Photo credit: TikTok/@daniix3dee (with permission)
    ,

    A woman was surprised with a party bus for her 60th birthday. She immediately took it to see her own mom battling dementia.

    There is only one way to celebrate turning 60—on a party bus. That’s what Danielle DeBernardi and her sister were thinking when they booked one for their mom, Michelle. After the family gathered to celebrate the milestone birthday at a friend’s home, Danielle and her sister had one more surprise waiting outside—a party bus full…

    There is only one way to celebrate turning 60—on a party bus. That’s what Danielle DeBernardi and her sister were thinking when they booked one for their mom, Michelle.

    After the family gathered to celebrate the milestone birthday at a friend’s home, Danielle and her sister had one more surprise waiting outside—a party bus full of family and friends.

    In a series of touching videos, Danielle documented Michelle’s epic 60th birthday, which ended with a tear-jerking visit to a nursing home to see Jackie (a.k.a. Juju), the family matriarch battling dementia.

    @daniix3dee

    Mom asked if the party bus could go see My grandma in a nursing rehab facility. She has dementia and Alzheimer’s. She was dead asleep when we showed up at 10pm with 10ppl standing in her room ready to party 😂 #motherdaughter #birthdaygirl #queen #nursinghome #partybus

    ♬ Because You Loved Me – Charlotte Ave

    The party bus surprise

    The party bus pulls up as Michelle and her husband wait outside, and when she sees it, Michelle looks shocked. “Is this us?” she asks her daughter, before quipping, “Is there a dancing man in there?”

    When the doors open and she steps on, all 10 of her closest people inside yell, “Surprise!” Michelle appears overwhelmed with emotion and starts hugging each person on the bus.

    They take Michelle to dinner, and then Michelle has a special request: to go visit Juju.

    @daniix3dee

    Get that party bus !!! Happy 60th birthday mom! We love you so much!! #partybus #60thbirthday #mom #party #letsgo

    ♬ original sound – Danielle DeBernardi

    The nursing home visit

    The ladies are living it up on the bus. They can be seen singing and dancing to songs like Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and Madonna’s “Like a Virgin.”

    Once they arrive at the nursing home, it’s all about Juju. Michelle can be seen sitting on her mom’s bed. Then she hops in with her, feeding her Häagen-Dazs ice cream and laughing together.

    “POV: you get your mom a party bus for her 60th birthday and you ask her where she wants to go, and she says she wants to go see her mom at the nursing facility so you pull up in a party bus with 10 people at 10:00 at night and all go inside to see juju,” Danielle captioned the video.

    It’s a moment Danielle and the family will never forget.

    “Having four generations together in that nursing home room for my mom’s 60th birthday meant more than words can fully express,” Danielle tells Upworthy.

    She continues, “Seeing my mom, her mother, myself and my daughter all in one place was such a powerful reminder of love, family, and the moments that truly matter. It was simple, but incredibly meaningful—a memory I’ll carry in my heart forever.”

    @daniix3dee

    Replying to @tranquil_tributes your wish is my command 🥰 the video with no music #motherdaughter #nursinghome #partybus #queen #60thbirthday

    ♬ original sound – Danielle DeBernardi

    Viewers react

    The sweet video struck an emotional chord with viewers, who shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “60 years ago, they sat in a hospital similar to this situation and your grandma fed her. What a beautiful full circle moment!!! 😭😭😭”

    “Made me sob! I’d give anything to be able to go see my mom on my 60th. God bless your mom and grandmother ❤️❤️❤️”

    “I hope my kids still love me this much some day 🥹”

    “Aww..she just wanted her momma🥹🥰”

    “At the end of the day, no matter the age, we all just want our mamas.”

    “What I would do to lay in a bed with my momma again🥺 What an awesome moment for them 2.”

    “Im SOBBING 😭😭😭😭 Life is precious, short, and should be celebrated with ppl who MATTER…. MOMMAS MATTER!”

  • A woman didn’t think she had an accent. A linguist proved her wrong with just one word.
    Who knew the word "bagel" was an accent giveaway?Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    A woman didn’t think she had an accent. A linguist proved her wrong with just one word.

    If you travel around the United States, you’ll find that Americans sound different everywhere you go. If you go from Boston to Birmingham, you’ll hear a big contrast in dialects and accents. Going from Seattle to San Diego, the differences would be much smaller, but they’d still be there. Some people don’t think they have…

    If you travel around the United States, you’ll find that Americans sound different everywhere you go. If you go from Boston to Birmingham, you’ll hear a big contrast in dialects and accents. Going from Seattle to San Diego, the differences would be much smaller, but they’d still be there.

    Some people don’t think they have an accent at all. It’s common for Americans outside the South and Northeast to believe they speak “normally,” unaware of the geographic “tells” in how they pronounce certain words. But as linguist Carson Woody demonstrates, sometimes just a single word can reveal where in the U.S. a person is from.

    A woman shared a social media trend in which people say three words that supposedly indicate where they’re from. She said she didn’t think she had an accent, but she only got as far as saying “bagel.” That’s okay, Woody said, because that was all he needed to clock her hometown.

    “Baby girl, you sound like the Pope,” Woody said. Sure enough, like Pope Leo XIV, she’s from Chicago.

    Woody said he understood what she meant when she said she didn’t think she had an accent.

    “A lot of people use the term ‘accent’ when referring to someone who has a distinct accent from them,” he said. “Like, ‘You have an accent, I don’t. Because you’re not from here and I am.’ You’re saying you don’t think you have an identifiable, regional accent. But linguistically, when we say, ‘an accent,’ what we’re talking about is just how you pronounce things. If you speak, you have an accent.”

    He explained that the way she pronounced the “a” in “bagel” gave away her location. He also shared that none of the various pronunciations of words are right or wrong.

    “Every accent, every dialect, every language, the way everybody speaks around the world are all equally valid and beautiful,” he said.

    What’s the difference between an accent and a dialect?

    As Woody said, an accent is the way words are pronounced. A dialect is broader, encompassing not only pronunciation but also grammar and vocabulary.

    So just how many dialects are there in American English? More than you might think. It’s hard to pin down an exact number because it depends on how broad or specific you want to get. Linguists recognize somewhere between three and 24 (or more) distinct American English dialects in the U.S. Within those dialects, there are hyperlocal pronunciation variations as well.

    For instance, there are some commonalities among Midwestern accents, but someone from Chicago will pronounce certain words differently than someone from northern Minnesota.

    Woody even shared how a dialect can practically—and in some cases actually—become a totally different language:

    Everybody has one

    As Woody pointed out, everyone has an accent. People in the comments even shared some metaphors that help illustrate this point:

    “Saying, ‘I don’t speak with an accent’ is like saying ‘I don’t type with a font.’”

    “Someone told me once to think of accents like fonts, you can’t really write or type without a font lol, everyone has their own accent that shows your heritage, family, origins, or even sometimes your personality. Humans are pretty cool.”

    “‘I don’t have an accent, everyone else does.’ ‘I don’t have a location, everyone else does.’ Same energy.”

    “If you eat you have a diet, and if you speak you have an accent.”

    “I had a professor years ago (ASL grammar) who could tell what part of the country someone was from or where they went to college by how they signed or finger spelled words. Even sign languages have accents!”

    And if you’re wondering what the other two words were that supposedly help indicate where you’re from, they’re “milk” and “eggs.” Apparently, ordering breakfast gives a lot away. Isn’t language fun?

    You can follow Carson Woody on YouTube for more linguistics fun.

  • Wife finds an incredibly clever way to find her husband buried in an avalanche
    Michael Harris before the avalanche. Photo credit: GoFundMe
    ,

    Wife finds an incredibly clever way to find her husband buried in an avalanche

    Michael Harris was on his final run on the ski slopes at Stevens Pass in the Cascade Mountains on February 26 when tragedy struck—he was caught in an avalanche. “Because I was on skis, I got caught between two slabs,” he told FOX 13 Seattle. Harris was buried in a snow hole and remained upright.…

    Michael Harris was on his final run on the ski slopes at Stevens Pass in the Cascade Mountains on February 26 when tragedy struck—he was caught in an avalanche.

    “Because I was on skis, I got caught between two slabs,” he told FOX 13 Seattle.

    Harris was buried in a snow hole and remained upright. He tried to free himself by making a swimming motion, but he couldn’t budge. “The sensation was being encased in cement,” he said.

    He was packed so tightly that he couldn’t even grab the phone from his jacket pocket. His wife, Penny, sensed something was wrong when she hadn’t heard from him. “I started freaking out,” she told WSAW-TV. “My texts got more intense, and then I started calling.”

    Harris could feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, but there was nothing he could do. “My mind shifted very quickly to ‘does anyone know that I’m here and how am I going to survive?’” he said.

    Stevens Pass, snow, avalanche, tree, Washington, skiing
    Stevens Pass. Photo credit: Michael Greenlee/Flickr

    Penny had a brilliant solution

    Penny checked the Find My feature on her phone to see whether her husband had moved on the mountain. But his location was static—not typical for a skier. Realizing that if he wasn’t moving, something was very wrong, she contacted the ski patrol and gave them his location. “They were able to take my location and get a snapshot of it and pinpoint pretty much where he was,” she said.

    After being stuck in the snow for four hours, Harris was rescued. Ski patrol was shocked to find him still conscious. Harris’ body temperature had dropped into the 70s, and he was severely hypothermic. Throughout the harrowing experience, all he could think about was his family.

    “The thing I was hoping is that I’d get to see her [his wife] and my four kids one more time,” he said. “They were the only thing I thought about.”

    Harris was alive, but he sustained several serious injuries in the avalanche. His daughter, Lauren, posted an update on GoFundMe about his condition. “A full trauma was called,” she wrote. “After various labs and imaging, my dad only sustained a contusion of his lung, pneumonia, injuries to his kidneys, and a right tibial plateau fracture.”

    snow, avalanche, tree, Washington, skiing, hospital,
    Michael Harris in the hospital. Photo credit: GoFundMe

    The avalanche came at a terrible time for the family

    Harris is expected to make a full recovery, but his injuries couldn’t have come at a worse time. He is currently between jobs, and his recovery will delay any return to work. So, his family set up a GoFundMe page to help them through this difficult time. It has already raised over $36,000 toward a goal of $40,000.

    “I have started a GoFundMe to try and help alleviate some of the medical costs as well additional bills for my family as my dad is the sole provider, and we are unsure how long the road to recovery actually looks. Literally anything helps,” Lauren wrote. 

    When someone is caught in an avalanche and encased in freezing snow, time is of the essence. According to Safeback, about 75% of avalanche deaths occur due to suffocation, and after roughly ten minutes of being trapped in the snow, the risk of asphyxiation increases rapidly.

    Amazingly, Harris survived four hours in freezing conditions without passing out. What a blessing that his quick-thinking wife was able to locate him before he lost his life in the snow.

  • Gen Xers and Boomers recall 18 unforgettable sounds and smells from the ’80s that disappeared
    A landline telephone and a lit cigar.Photo credit: Canva
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    Gen Xers and Boomers recall 18 unforgettable sounds and smells from the ’80s that disappeared

    There are certain sounds and smells that exist across generations, at least so far. The pitter-patter of gentle rain. The musical notes of a bluebird. The scent of sea life in a vast ocean. The fragrant waft of a honeysuckle flower. But many sensory experiences fade with time. A guy on Threads was curious about…

    There are certain sounds and smells that exist across generations, at least so far. The pitter-patter of gentle rain. The musical notes of a bluebird. The scent of sea life in a vast ocean. The fragrant waft of a honeysuckle flower. But many sensory experiences fade with time.

    A guy on Threads was curious about the idea that certain sounds and smells might be specific to different generations. He asked, “What is a sound or smell that doesn’t exist anymore, but 40 years ago was so common it was considered background noise?” Generation Xers and Baby Boomers were ready to answer, offering nearly 4,000 replies.

    Sounds

    “Television static or the sound between radio stations.”

    Here’s a fun fact: In a recent article on WION, journalist Anamica Singh explains that TV and radio static contain remnants of the Big Bang:

    “The static hiss contained at least 1 percent of cosmic microwave background (CMB), a remnant of the birth of the universe 13.8 billion years ago. Not only on TV, but the same noise was also heard on radios. Everyone alive at the time these analogue televisions existed inadvertently time-traveled, in the sense that they witnessed the Big Bang, the universe’s past.”

    “The sound of coins falling into a payphone.”

    “The dial tone when the phone was left off the hook.”

    “The thump of plopping a phone book on the table, followed by the whispery sound of flipping its onion-skin paper pages, and finally the whir-click of dialing a rotary phone.”

    “Typewriter bells.”

    “The sound it made when you push a VHS tape into the VCR.”

    “The sound of the book-charging machine at the library that the librarian would insert the card into to date your books. Made the most satisfying cha-chunk sound.”

    “An analog radio with an extendable antenna sitting in the window ledge, playing a crackly country song by Hank Jr., and the hum of static on TV because somebody touched the dial.”

    Smells

    “The faint but pervasive smell of cigarettes everywhere all the time.”

    A no smoking sign in a restaurant. Photo credit: Canva

    Notably, cities began passing comprehensive laws regulating tobacco use in public spaces. In the mid-1970s, Minnesota enacted one of the first laws requiring restaurants to designate a “smoking area.” By the late 1980s, many other cities and states had followed suit.

    “The hot, dusty aroma of slide projectors and filmstrip machines projecting weird 1960s/70s educational films, floating through the classroom while you were passing notes under desks”

    “The smell of freshly printed dittos.”

    What these commenters are referring to are “ditto” copy machines, often used in schools and churches in the late 20th century.

    “The sound and smell of a disposable flash.”

    “Scratch ‘n’ sniff stickers!”

    “Drakkar Noir”

    This intense scent, a particularly popular men’s cologne in the ’80s, was mentioned a few times.

    Another commenter shared a very specific memory:

    “A Norman Rockwell calendar secured by a pearl-topped push-pin next to a ringing rotary phone, and the calendar smells like bacon grease and fried chicken.”

  • A dad who lost his young son to cancer shared a note on male grief that has gone massively viral
    A father and his young son hold hands while walking.Photo credit: Representative image via Canva
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    A dad who lost his young son to cancer shared a note on male grief that has gone massively viral

    Grief is an unfortunately universal and often inescapable feeling. Yet, due to certain societal norms, it can be harder for some people to embrace or fully work through than for others. In a Reddit post titled “100% Really Sucks,” a man wrote: “About ten years ago, our at the time 9-year-old son died of cancer.…

    Grief is an unfortunately universal and often inescapable feeling. Yet, due to certain societal norms, it can be harder for some people to embrace or fully work through than for others.

    In a Reddit post titled “100% Really Sucks,” a man wrote:

    “About ten years ago, our at the time 9-year-old son died of cancer. Hundreds of people asked my wife how she was doing, offered her support, etc. Lots of people asked me how she was doing, how the kids were doing, and how I had to be strong for her and our two remaining kids. Only a few close male friends asked how I was doing. Not one of my female friends did. Not even my mother. It never occurred to them.

    That really sucked. Not because I don’t think my wife deserved support. Of course she did – but so did I.”

    Reddit post. Photo credit: StreetKindly3614/Reddit

    The good news is that the OP bravely began a difficult discussion that seemed to resonate deeply with many people. The post received over 90,000 upvotes and 2.6 thousand comments. Clearly, people seem ready to talk about it.

    One Redditor noted that they shared a similar experience: “My wife and I divorced – after our marriage she chose drugs and alcohol and I chose to be a dad. People still ask me all the time how she’s doing through everything. She still gets invited to parent/kid meet ups even though the kids live with me 7 days a week. It’s unfair.”

    Another commenter added the importance of including men when an entire family needs support, writing, “It absolutely is unfair. I hope future generations will learn to be more supportive after seeing more great dads in action!”

    What was even more encouraging was that the Reddit community came together not only to commiserate but also to offer hopeful suggestions.

    Another commenter pointed out a similar situation, sharing, “We had a house fire. Lost everything. People in the community donated so many clothes and toiletries for my wife and kids. But nothing for me. One year later and I’m still struggling with wardrobe choices.”

    This Redditor was ready to help, writing, “What size do you wear bro? I have some nice clothes that I never wear I’d be happy to have dry cleaned and sent your way.”

    Not everyone, thankfully, had the same experience, though the post helped some feel a sense of gratitude:

    “My word, reading these comments just makes me appreciate my wife and my mom all the more. They actually support me when I let them know I am hurting or depressed.

    I do have to vocalize that I want the support in the moment because my wife will pick up on the fact that I’m down almost immediately and I’ll tell her I’m just having a down day. I don’t really deal with very bad depression but I do have days where it gets bad and she’s always there for me.

    When I was growing up, my mom never dismissed my feelings, never told me to ‘act like a man’.

    I’m so sorry to hear all of your stories of your struggles. I wish the best for all of you out there dealing with this type of stuff.”

    Society needs to encourage men to open up

    In the article “The Problem of Male Grief” for Psychology Today, Nick Norman, LICSW, discusses what he refers to as a “silent epidemic” among men.

    “According to the CDC, 1 in 10 men experiences anxiety or depression, but less than half reach out for help,” Norman wrote. “They are less likely to seek help for mental or emotional difficulties overall.”

    Norman seems to hit the nail right on the head when it comes to the Reddit post:

    “While there are common ways that men respond to grief, that does not mean that they are actually processing their emotions or coming to a healthy resolution. The real issue is not that men have some other means or manner of grieving. It is that the Western cultural expectation of men discourages grieving altogether.”

    He offered suggestions for men to create healthy spaces for one another:

    “The unspoken rules of oppressive masculinity often lead men to shame those who dare step outside of the limited emotional box we’re given. In this way, we become enemies of our brothers and create more pain when what we need is support. Although we may struggle with our own discomfort, we need to stop shaming other men for weeping and feeling authentically. We have enough challenges in this work. We owe it to one another to buoy each other up, or at least grant each other silent respect.”

    Mindfulness can help

    Jeanette Lorandini, LCSW, founder of Suffolk DBT in New York, spoke to Upworthy about the issue:

    “From a DBT [Dialectical Behavior Therapy] perspective, many boys grow up in environments where their emotions are invalidated. They are often taught very early that showing sadness or vulnerability is a sign of weakness and that they should ‘be strong.’ Over time, this can lead men to learn how to hide their emotions rather than understand or process them. They may become skilled at making their feelings invisible to others, but that does not mean those feelings are not there.”

    To counter this, Lorandini suggested men practice mindfulness to help process their emotions:

    “Mindfulness, a core component of DBT, encourages people to slow down, notice their emotional experience, and give themselves permission to feel sadness rather than push it away. We call that mindfulness of current emotion. When someone does not give themselves these important moments to grieve, they develop what we call inhibitive grief. It doesn’t go away but remains in a ‘holding cell.’ While it may not be a literal prison, it won’t go away until it is experienced. It often will show up in ways such as anger, substance use, working excessively, heavy screen time, or other maladaptive behaviors.”

    She added, “Grief does not require someone to fall apart, but it does require space to be felt. Learning to experience sadness in manageable moments, while continuing to move forward at a balanced pace, can help men process loss in a way that honors both their emotional needs and their role within their family.”

  • Tech strategist shares why algorithms killed ‘taste’ and where to find it now
    A woman at the bookstore and another on her phone.Photo credit: Canva
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    Tech strategist shares why algorithms killed ‘taste’ and where to find it now

    There has been a cultural shift over the past year or so: being at the forefront of social media and Internet culture—or being “chronically online”—is now frowned upon. It’s similar to the ’90s, when bragging about how much TV you watched could get you accused of lacking personality or having lowbrow taste. These days, bragging…

    There has been a cultural shift over the past year or so: being at the forefront of social media and Internet culture—or being “chronically online”—is now frowned upon. It’s similar to the ’90s, when bragging about how much TV you watched could get you accused of lacking personality or having lowbrow taste. These days, bragging about bed-rotting and doomscrolling is akin to being a proud couch potato.

    Why are the chronically online backing away from their iPhones and calling TikTok trend followers tacky? It all comes down to the delivery system.

    In a viral Instagram post, Carmen Vicente, a social strategist in tech, says the shift began when the Internet changed from a place where savvy people pursued their interests on their own to one where culture was spoon-fed through algorithms. There’s a huge difference between sitting at the cultural trough and waiting to be fed by Meta and going out to discover what you authentically enjoy.

    The point is simple: You will never cultivate authentic taste in culture, art, movies, music, fashion, or food if your appetite is curated algorithmically.

    “Fifteen years ago, it required effort and curiosity to discover cool stuff on the Internet,” Vicente says. “But now, and since the advent of algorithms that hinge on economic metrics of success, looking away or elsewhere is the thing that requires effort and curiosity.”

    Vicente continues:

    “Personally speaking, I think taste is the result of your cultural inputs. And to develop good taste, we need to consume a diversity of inputs beyond just the confines of our modern suggestion engines. Simply put, the algorithms are controlled by the institutions. The institutions need to maximize shareholder value. And the more time you spend drinking the Kool-Aid from these fire hoses, the looser your grasp becomes on what is truly interesting, substantive, or moving.”

    A woman scrolling in bed. Photo credit: Canva

    There are myriad definitions of taste, but it’s generally seen as the ability to appreciate things that are culturally and aesthetically valuable.

    In his essay “Of the Standard of Taste,” philosopher David Hume argues that taste is a byproduct of a life rich in experience: “Strong sense, united to delicate sentiment, improved by practice, perfected by comparison, and cleared of all prejudice, can alone entitle critics to this valuable character.”

    Therefore, true taste can’t be developed without real-world experience and cultural inputs that go far beyond what’s delivered via smartphone.

    taste, books, culture, scrolling, algorithms, internet
    A woman at an exercise class. Photo credit: Canva

    The lesson here isn’t hard to figure out: it’s about a life lived shopping in brick-and-mortar stores, spending time outdoors, practicing hobbies that don’t involve screens, and reading books while in the dentist’s waiting room. There are so many incredible cultural treasures we can experience only by being in physical places with real people—where you can stumble upon life-changing culture by accident.

    Taste is a touchy subject, hard to separate from social status, because it often requires resources and connections to access many aspects of culture. However, that’s not an excuse to judge those who strive for an expansive, more refined sense of taste—or who hope others will join them on that journey—as merely performative.

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