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Joy

Here are the 15 pieces of wisdom that people in their 40s wished they knew when they were younger

"Don't fall into the trap of thinking everyone else your age has something that you don't."

wisdom, 40s wisdom, life lessons

A woman in her 40s reflecting on life.

There is no greater teacher than experience. But wouldn’t life be a lot easier if we actually listened to those of us who are older and wiser so we didn’t have to learn the big lessons in life the hard way?

If only life were that easy.

A funny thing happens to many people: you think you know everything in your early 20s, but once you hit your 30s, you realize you didn’t know much at all. But by the time your 40s set in, the hard-earned life lessons begin to take hold, and if obeyed, can lead to a more satisfying life.

A Reddit user named ZombiePunkRocker asked people 40 years old and up to share some advice for younger people. If taken seriously, the advice could really help them avoid the pitfalls in life and be more carefree and happy.

One thing that many of the ideas have in common is to avoid caring about how others judge us and, instead, follow our hearts and create our own goals. The list is also a great reminder to take care of your body while you still can and to save a few bucks while you're at it.

Here are 15 of the most popular responses to the question: “People 40 years old or more. What is some advice for the younger people?”

1. You're not special

"You're not special, no one cares what you do and the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can be at peace with yourself." — Anom8675309

"This can be used a comfort to those who have anxiety about what others think of them: How often do you think about every little thing that other people do? You don't. Right. In the same way, nobody thinks about you either, so get out of your head and live your life, because people are too busy with their own lives to care about yours." — StaffordMagnus

2. Take care of your body

"Take care of your knees and back." — TrailerParkPrepper

"And your teeth. My God, teeth can be such a financial drain." — BethLP11

3. This

"Love life it is short. Be grateful for everything. The biggest burden you’ll carry are your own thoughts. Learn to live in the present, the past is just a memory and the future is just your imagination. You don’t have to accept the negative self dialogue, be the watcher of those thoughts and learn to let them go. You are braver than you believe, smarter than you think, stronger than you seem and loved more than you know." — Unabtanium

4. Stretch

"Stretch every day or at least more than never. Stay limber and flexible because once it is gone, it’s almost impossible to get it back." — Jjoenr

"As somebody who's on middle age's doorstep, I stretch 10-15 minutes daily, and lift weights several times a week. It makes a huge difference as everything gets tighter when you get older. I feel a difference if I go a day or more without stretching." — HerbieDerrb

5. Deprogram yourself

"You have been exposed to an unbelievable amount of absolute lies in your life that colour your beliefs and your expectations about how life will go. Find ways to deprogram yourself. You know internally what values are core and humane. The rest need to be thoroughly examined. What do you really think about the way people present themselves? Do you get impressed by people wearing brand advertising all over their clothes, or driving a certain car? Does that make sense or scream sucker, really? The things people fight about, what are the underlying reasons behind it? What kinds of manipulations have people been exposed to before they hold their views? Rise above it all, become aware of the dramas people live in." — CellPublic

6. Save your money

"Investments (good real estate, stocks) roughly double every decade. So multiply the sum of your frivolous expenses per year by 8x or 10x and that’s what you’re foregoing for retirement." — Unselesssatirist

7. Stop comparing

"Don't fall into the trap of thinking everyone else your age has something that you don't and you feel hopelessly behind and like a failure. Once you're out of school, there are no timelines anymore. You are not supposed to do anything by any particular point in your life. Everyone is different. You are not supposed to have had X number of sexual partners, had X number of relationships, be married, have a kid, own a house, have a dream job, or figure out your calling in life at any particular point — if at all. Life is very long and you will have many chances to do things. Make your own path." — Zazzlekdazzle

8. Exercise now

"Don’t wait to get in shape. Start working out, however, is enjoyable to you so you avoid health risks later. Don’t wait to have to lose 30 lbs." — STARoSCREAM

"Yup. I turn 44 in 2 weeks and going to the gym 4 days a week has been a game changer. I've lost 15lbs in a year and feel better than I did when I was a young man." — Floppity12

9. Fail

"Fail more. Fail all the time. Set yourself up for failure. Because what you will learn is that failure is not some horrible catastrophe, it's actually a part of a process of getting better at something or getting what you want. And going ahead into failure is often how you find yourself unexpectedly succeeding faster than you expected. And the more you fail, the more you immunize yourself against the fear of it so you can get more of it. Failure is something you actually need in your life to really get the things you want." — Zazzlekdazzle

"Adding "Fail fast" to this list. Dont postpone the inevitable longer than you should by hoping something might change or work out. The sooner you can pivot past a failure the better!" — Asmartassgirl

10. Don't take yourself too seriously

"Whatever you do you'll probably look back ten years later mildly mortified at how deep you thought you were. You're just another confused human not destined for greatness and there's no grand scheme in which you matter one bit, so just chill. If you have issues with your self-confidence and depend on the validation of others, address that shit by whatever means are available to you. Nobody is going to do it for you and being insecure gets old fast." — Strange Articles

11. Enjoy your young body

"Enjoy your hairline/boobs, they aren't going to get better and you will fondly look back on where they were situated when you were younger and hotter." — Smyley12345

12. Enjoy silence

"It’s okay and healthy to sit in silence. Put down your phone, leave your earphones in your pocket, and just be. It’s important to not constantly be stimulated." — Yourpaljax

13. Don't waste a day

"I'm 56. You don't have as much time as you think you do. Don't waste it, don't waste a single f****** day. Do something every day even if it's just something for yourself. Drink plenty of water and use sunscreen. Donating blood doesn't hurt that bad. Doing something you like for a living is more rewarding than doing something that pays even exceptionally well. I've done both and the former is preferable in my opinion." — Tim Renick

14. Choose friends wisely

"Once you're out of school, don't keep the friends who bring you down. You really don't need that and the benefits no longer outweigh the drawbacks. You know what I mean, the friends who only call when they need something, the ones who make you feel bad when you fail and worse when you succeed. The friends who encourage you to do things you actually don't want to do and discourage you from growing as a person. Focus your time and effort on your high-quality friends. It's not about quantity anymore." — Zazzlekdazzle

15. High school isn't life

"Don't worry about high school. Once you are done no gives a shit other than you getting a diploma. The drama the 'permanent record'. Anything you did or didn't accomplish mean nothing after you leave. If you hit 40 and still talk about high school like it was the best part of your life then you peaked early. Your greatest achievements and victories should be later in life when it matters. As always, there are exceptions, but seriously if your best was as a teen, what are you doing with 60 or 70 years you still have to go?" — Hsensei


Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

A plane full of strangers restores our faith in humanity, zoo animals give adorable interviews, kids have their wishes granted, and much more.

Five new stories this week that restore our faith in humanity.

True

Need a timeline cleanse? Of course you do. No matter what kind of week you’re having, we bet these five feel-good news snippets will leave you smiling.

This week we’re celebrating:

This Texas woman's breastfeeding superpower

Alyse Ogletree / The Guardian

Texas mom Alyse Ogletree isn’t able to give away money to good causes—so she’s managed to donate something much harder to come by: breastmilk. Ogletree has selflessly donated a record amount of breastmilk (over 700 gallons!) to nourish thousands of premature and medically-fragile babies. Superwoman!

More wishes granted for children fighting critical illnesses

Make-A-Wish® supports kids and families facing critical illnesses, granting “wishes” unique to each child—everything from meeting a celebrity to redesigning their bedroom. Subaru is proud to have helped grant more than 3,600 wishes for kids in need through the Subaru Share the Love Event®. Even better? From now until January 2, Subaru is donating at least $300 to charities like Make-A-Wish® with every new Subaru purchased or leased.

A plane full of strangers helps a struggling single mom

@notaregularnanny Sobbing crying making this video ❤️‍🩹🥲 my faith in humanity was restored after this whole experience #ittakesavillage #myvillage #motherhood #solotravel #solomom #travelingwithkids #stranded #momsoftiktok #faithinhumanityrestored ♬ Outro by m83 - 𝙡𝙤𝙡𝙖

When her flight was canceled, Gabrielle G., a 27-year-old single parent, boarded a flight back home to Florida with her 18-month-old son. Traveling solo with a toddler is a daunting task—but in a now-viral video, Gabrielle shares how a slew of helpful strangers made the trip bearable, offering their seats and entertaining her son while her plane was stuck on the tarmac for hours. More of this, please, humanity!

This bald eagle's new foster baby

World Bird Sanctuary

When a large, male bald eagle started guarding something on the ground at the World Bird Sanctuary in Missouri, keepers discovered that he had become fiercely protective over a rock. Thinking it was an egg, the eagle, named Murphy, began sitting on it, nudging it, and guarding it protectively (which is classic male eagle behavior, his keepers say, as they share equally in bird-raising and have a strong paternal instinct).

Months later, an eagle chick was brought to the sanctuary after surviving a fall from its nest. When keepers put the baby bird and Murphy in the same enclosure, Murphy’s fatherly instincts kicked into high gear, feeding the baby himself. Now, Murphy has a baby of his very own.

These hilarious animal interviews

In a stunning feat of investigative journalism (lol), YouTuber Maya Higa started a series titled “Tiny Mic Interviews,” where she approaches animals at the ZooToYou Conservation Ambassadors with a tiny microphone and asks them the burning questions we all want to know, including “Can I please touch your snoot?” and “What’s your favorite thing about being a capybara?”

Higa “translates” their answers into text on screen, and the results are adorable. BRB, watching this series all day.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

Pop Culture

'Wicked' author reveals how one line in 'The Wizard of Oz' inspired Elphaba and Glinda's story

Gregory Maguire says he "fell down to the ground" laughing when the idea hit him.

Public domain

Gregory Maguire was inspired by a line in the original 1939 film "The Wizard of Oz."

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book or listened to a piece of music and wondered, "How did they come up with that idea?" The creative process is so enigmatic even artists themselves don't always know where their ideas come from, so It's a treat when we get to hear the genesis of a brilliant idea straight from the horse's mouth. If you've watched "Wicked" and wondered where the idea for the friendship between Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) and Glinda (the Good Witch) came from, the author of the book has shared the precise moment it came to him.

The hit movie "Wicked" is based on the 20-year-old hit stage musical, which is based on the novel "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West" written by Gregory Maguire. While the musical is a simplified version of the 1995 book, the basic storyline—the origins of the two witches from "The Wizard of Oz"—lies at the heart of both. In an interview with BBC, Maguire explained how Elphaba and Glinda's friendship popped into his head.

Maguire was visiting Beatrix Potter's farm in Cumbria, England, and thinking about "The Wizard of Oz," which he had loved as a child and thought could be an interesting basis for a story about evil.

"I thought 'alright, what do we know about 'The Wizard of Oz' from our memories,'" he said. "We have the house falling on the witch. What do we know about that witch? All we know about that witch is that she has feet. So I began to think about Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West…

"There is one scene in the 1939 film where Billie Burke comes down looking all pink and fluffy, and Margaret Hamilton is all crawed and crabbed and she says something like, 'I might have known you'd be behind this, Glinda!' This was my memory, and I thought, now why is she using Glinda's first name? They have known each other. Maybe they've known each other for a long time. Maybe they went to college together. And I fell down onto the ground in the Lake District laughing at the thought that they had gone to college together."

In "Wicked," Glinda and the Wicked Witch, Elphaba, meet as students at Shiz University, a school of wizardry. They get placed as roommates, loathe each other at first, but eventually become best friends. The story grows a lot more complicated from there (and the novel goes darker than the stage play), but it's the character development of the two witches and their relationship with one another that force us to examine our ideas about good and evil.


- YouTubeyoutu.be

Maguire also shared with the Denver Center for Performing Arts what had inspired him to use the "Wizard of Oz" characters in the first place.

"I was living in London in the early 1990’s during the start of the Gulf War. I was interested to see how my own blood temperature chilled at reading a headline in the usually cautious British newspaper, the Times of London: 'Sadaam Hussein: The New Hitler?' I caught myself ready to have a fully formed political opinion about the Gulf War and the necessity of action against Sadaam Hussein on the basis of how that headline made me feel. The use of the word Hitler – what a word! What it evokes! When a few months later several young schoolboys kidnapped and killed a toddler, the British press paid much attention to the nature of the crime. I became interested in the nature of evil, and whether one really could be born bad. I considered briefly writing a novel about Hitler but discarded the notion due to my general discomfort with the reality of those times. But when I realized that nobody had ever written about the second most evil character in our collective American subconscious, the Wicked Witch of the West, I thought I had experienced a small moment of inspiration. Everybody in America knows who the Wicked Witch of the West is, but nobody really knows anything about her. There is more to her than meets the eye."

Authors and artists—and their ideas—help hold a mirror up to humanity for us to see and reflect on who we are, and "Wicked" is one of those stories that makes us take a hard look at what we're seeing in that mirror. Thanks, Gregory Maguire, for launching us on a collective journey that not only entertains but has the potential to change how we see one another.

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

A woman is shocked to learn that her name means something totally different in Australia.

Devyn Hales, 22, from California, recently moved to Sydney, Australia, on a one-year working visa and quickly learned that her name wouldn’t work Down Under. It all started when a group of men made fun of her on St. Patrick’s Day.

After she introduced herself as Devyn, the men laughed at her. "They burst out laughing, and when I asked them why, they told me devon is processed lunch meat,” she told The Daily Mail. It's similar to baloney, so I introduce myself as Dev now,” she said in a viral TikTok video with over 1.7 million views.

For those who have never been to Australia, Devon is a processed meat product usually cut into slices and served on sandwiches. It is usually made up of pork, basic spices and a binder. Devon is affordable because people buy it in bulk and it’s often fed to children. Australians also enjoy eating it fried, like spam. It is also known by other names such as fritz, circle meat, Berlina and polony, depending on where one lives on the continent. It's like in America, where people refer to cola as pop, soda, or Coke, depending on where they live in the country.

So, one can easily see why a young woman wouldn’t want to refer to herself as a processed meat product that can be likened to boloney or spam. "Wow, love that for us," another woman named Devyn wrote in the comments. “Tell me the name thing isn't true,” a woman called Devon added.

@dhalesss

#fypシ #australia #americaninaustralia #sydney #aussie

Besides changing her name, Dev shared some other differences between living in Australia and her home country.

“So everyone wears slides. I feel like I'm the only one with 'thongs'—flip-flops—that have the little thing in the middle of your big toe. Everyone wears slides,” she said. Everyone wears shorts that go down to your knees and that's a big thing here.”

Dev also noted that there are a lot of guys in Australia named Lachlan, Felix and Jack.

She was also thrown off by the sound of the plentiful magpies in Australia. According to Dev, they sound a lot like crying children with throat infections. “The birds threw me off,” she said before making an impression that many people in the comments thought was close to perfect. "The birds is so spot on," Jess wrote. "The birds, I will truly never get used to it," Marissa added.

One issue that many Americans face when moving to Australia is that it is more expensive than the United States. However, many Americans who move to Australia love the work-life balance. Brooke Laven, a brand strategist in the fitness industry who moved there from the U.S., says that Aussies have the “perfect work-life balance” and that they are “hard-working” but “know where to draw the line.”

Despite the initial cultural shocks, Devyn is embracing her new life in Australia with a positive outlook. “The coffee is a lot better in Australia, too,” she added with a smile, inspiring others to see the bright side of cultural differences.


This article originally appeared in April.

Cow and his family.

Dogs love their humans and have the best reaction when they return home, even if they just left to go to the mailbox. It’s happy tails and doggy kisses when you get back, so it’s heartbreaking when a pet actually gets separated from its family. Back in 2022, a dog named Cow found himself in just that predicament. Cow was somehow stolen from his family, according to the information received by Louisiana SPCA from the pooch’s family. The dog found his way to the animal shelter after being found tied to a fence outside the SPCA. Cow was afraid of his new surroundings at the shelter and it took him a while to warm up.

NeNe Lewis of the Louisiana SPCA told The Dodo “He was very fearful and would low growl when meeting new people. When he was given treats and people would ‘baby talk’ him, he would stop. Since he was found tied to our fence, it makes his reaction common.” VCA Hospitals report that “Fear- and anxiety-related aggression are commonly manifested in the veterinary hospital or in situations of social approach and handling. Dogs that display aggression are not mean or bad dogs. They are simply afraid/fearful and anxious/nervous about a perceived or anticipated threat or unpleasant outcome.”

In the case of Cow, it’s understandable why he would be displaying fearful aggression after being in a new environment away from the family he knows and loves. Cow began to relax in his new environment after being there a while as the staff members searched for a family to adopt the black and white pup. To Cow and the SPCA’s surprise, the perfect family was the one he was missing all along. In March, the shelter found out that Cow’s family had been frantically searching for their lost dog and were ecstatic to find out he was safe in the shelter.

Cow

Louisiana SPCA

While Cow had gotten used to his new people at the shelter, he was beyond excited when his owners showed up to take him home. He jumped off walls and his owner's back after lunging directly into her arms to be held like a baby. It’s clear that he missed his family and he was in his rightful place, right in their arms. The workers at the SPCA had never seen Cow so happy. Shelter life is generally hard on dogs, as they're constantly trying to protect their space from different people coming through. Dogs often become anxious when they're sheltered too long, always on alert and prone to panic, which is why Cow’s initial reaction is so common.

According to the ASPCA there are approximately 6.3 million pets in animal shelters across America right now, about 3.1 million of those are dogs. Each year more than 920,000 animals are euthanized, which is why the push to “adopt don’t shop” is so prevalent. While animals are in the care of shelters, they are looked after and treated by veterinarians until they are placed into a forever home or reunited with their family, which is always favorable over euthanization. More than 4.1 million shelter animals are adopted each year and around 810,000 of them are lucky enough to be reunited with their families, just like Cow.

If you’re interested in adopting a shelter animal, check out your local animal shelter or ASPCA.

This article originally appeared two years ago.