Some advice for the people who kicked 11 black women off a train for laughing
Here are five tips.
The Napa Valley Wine Train is catching heat for kicking a group of middle-aged black women off their trip for, allegedly, laughing too loud.
Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
The women were greeted by police officers, who escorted them onto a bus, which took them back to their cars.
Even though the train company claims the women were being "severely disruptive," the women have countered via Facebook that their removal was racially motivated, and they started the hashtag #LaughingWhileBlack.
Look: Loud laughter can certainly be irritating. Especially if you're not in on the joke. There's no denying that.
That said, by calling the cops and throwing the women off the train, it seems likely that the train staff and other guests may have ... overreacted. Just a teensy bit.
And, perhaps, could use some practical advice for the future.
With that in mind, here are five things you can do if you are annoyed by a group of middle-aged black women laughing really loud on a wine train.
1. Suck it up.
These smiling women aren't hurting you! Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
There are many venues where being quiet is the appropriate and respectful thing to do, such as a cemetery, or a hospital, or the office of the governor. But you're not any of those places. You're on a wine train. People are there to drink wine and have fun. So suck it up.
2. Realize that everyone enjoys themselves differently.
Two of the women, expressing joy, like human beings do. Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
As a deleted scene from the movie "Sideways" probably insists, there is no one right way to enjoy a three-hour scenic wine train tour. Some people like to stare silently out the window and pretend they're at church. Some people like to laugh and talk and drink. Both are perfectly acceptable activities!
Studies have shown that black girls and women are frequently stereotyped as obnoxious and loud — which itself is just one of a host of bizarre subconscious biases that people have been found to have. Others include: Black people feel less pain than white people and black boys are "older and less innocent" than their white peers.
Unconscious bias runs deep. It's important to take a step back and wonder if a group of people who seem "obnoxious and loud" to you at first might actually just be "people reasonably enjoying themselves."
3. Complain later to your friends and family in private.
Instead of marching the women through the train into their own separate car. Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
This is key. When you get home, go straight to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/BFF/dog and complain about the really loud, annoying women on the train today. "Yes, Jeanine, you're totally right," they will say. "I'm sure those women were super irritating and you're right to be annoyed." Not only will you feel validated, but best of all, you won't be responsible for getting 11 middle-aged black women, at least one of whom survived Jim Crow, kicked off a wine train.
4. Try not to get the cops involved.
Yeah, please don't. Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
In the event that the group of middle-aged black women has, in fact, become so disruptive that it is necessary to remove them from the train — perhaps they won't stop singing Journey's "Separate Ways" at the top of their lungs — is it really necessary to call the cops?
The train company charges that the women were removed for the "safety of all of our guests," but as far as I can tell, "laughing really loud" does not constitute a security threat.
Research suggests that even when they commit borderline crimes or commit crimes in the same proportion as white people, black people are more likely to receive criminal treatment. And unless we've entered a young-adult-novel dystopia sometime in the last week, laughing heartily isn't a crime. Not even a little bit.
So don't call the cops.
5. Most of all, just treat people like people.
'Cause, you know. They are. People. Photo by Lisa Renee Johnson/Facebook.
People can be annoying. That's a fact of life. But even when they're annoying, people are people. It's important to treat them that way, and not as potential problems to be dealt with.
We all have to get along in this world. Some of us do life differently than others. We're all human. Let's try to respect that.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."