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People who don’t struggle with depression can sometimes feel at a loss for how to help loved ones who do.

If you’ve never fallen into a mental hole you couldn't climb out of, it’s hard to understand how depression can be so debilitating. And when you're peering down at a loved one at the bottom of that hole, it’s hard to know how to help them out.

You can try to coach them on how to climb, but you don't understand how slippery the walls are. You can try to offer them a rope, but you don't realize that their muscles are too spent to grab it and hold on.


How do you help someone who is stuck?

While there are no universal right answers, this story demonstrates just one powerful way these friends showed up for their struggling pal.

Sheila O’Malley spiraled into a deep depression the year her dad died. She had moved into a new apartment but found herself unable to unpack for months. She felt ashamed at her inability to do something so straightforward, but depression does that — it makes basic things feel insurmountable, then makes you feel bad about not surmounting them.

O'Malley shared on Twitter that her friend David checked in with her and offered words of support. But he knew she needed more than that. So he did something bold.

He contacted a bunch of O'Malley's friends and organized an unpacking party — unbeknownst to her.

Ten friends showed up, food in hand, and ignored her protesting that her apartment wasn't ready for visitors.

"They unpacked my boxes. They put away my 1,500 books. They hung pictures for me ... By the end of the night, my apartment was all set up," O'Malley wrote.

Sometimes showing up for a friend means simply doing what needs to be done without fuss or fanfare.

O'Malley explained that she had been unable to do even the simplest things. But her friends didn't judge. "They were like superheroes sweeping in," she said. They showed up ready to do what needed to be done. And they didn't let her get in the way of that important work.

"I was overwhelmed at the sight of all of my friends turning themselves into Santa's workshop," O'Malley wrote. "On my behalf. With out asking me. They just showed up and barged in. I was embarrassed for like 10 minutes but they were all so practical and bossy I had no choice but to let that go."

"Listen, baby, what we did today was a barn-raising."

This is what a supportive community looks like.

That's what it was — a beautiful modern version of a community coming together to serve the needs of one of its own. A group easing the burden of an individual. A line of friends forming a human chain to grab hold of the friend at the bottom of a hole and attempt to pull her up.

By providing practical help, her friends also provided emotional support.

Many people who are struggling with depression won't ask for help because they're ashamed. Often they won't accept help even if it's offered sincerely, because they feel unworthy. But O'Malley's friends showed up anyway. And by showing up physically, they supported her emotionally — not by taking away her grief, but by removing some of the practical burdens that made it harder to manage emotionally.

O'Malley pointed out that it could have gone another way. She could have felt offended or hurt. But even if she had, she'd have known her friends cared about her enough to rally together and let her know she wasn't alone.

"These are the kinds of friends I have," she wrote. "Be that kind of friend to others."

An excellent reminder to us all of what love in action can look like.

Photo by Roméo A. on Unsplash

Cat hilariously rats out owner in front of the landlord.

Maybe it's a right of passage into adulthood or maybe some landlords discriminate against pets because they can't tell people kids are forbidden in their residence. Either way, just about everyone has lived in a rental home that didn't allow pets. Most people just abide by the rules and vow to get a pet when they find a new home.

Some people, on the other hand, get creative. I once came across a post on social media where someone claimed their pit bull puppy was actually a silver Labrador. But one woman on TikTok was harboring a secret cat in her rental that had a no pets policy, and either her cat was unaware or he was aware and was simply being a jerk.

My money is on the latter since cats are known to be jerks for no reason. I mean, have you ever left something on the counter for a few minutes? They make it their mission to knock it on the floor. So I fully believe this fluffy little meow box wanted to make his presence known in an effort to rat out his owner.

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Photo by Ben Mater on Unsplash

California dad saves daughter from coyote.

People have been encroaching on the homes of wild animals for decades and, naturally, this leads to close run-ins with the animals that inhabit the areas. We've heard of bears in cars, opossums in garages and even bats in people's attics. One family recently had a really scary close call with a coyote.

In a video posted to TikTok, a dad in Woodland Hills, California, Ariel Eliyahuo looks to be unpacking the car and his 2-year-old daughter is out of sight on the other side of the dark-colored SUV. You can see what looks to be a medium-sized dog walk behind the car before you hear the little girl scream. When the dad rounds the back of the car to see if his daughter fell, the coyote starts trying to run off with the child.

The whole encounter happened in merely a few seconds. In an instant, the dad has his daughter under his arm like a football, running her to safety. As he's running with the toddler, the coyote keeps coming toward them so he throws a rock at the animal while he and his wife yell, trying to scare it away.

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This article originally appeared on 04.15.19


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Train tracks leading into Auschwitz-Birkenau, the largest Nazi death camp.

Kanye West (who has legally changed his name to Ye) has been making headlines—again—not only for his bizarre public behavior, but for blatantly antisemitic remarks he made in recent interviews.

There's no question that Ye's comments praising Hitler and Nazis and denying that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust are hurtful and dangerous. There's no question that bad actors are using Ye's antisemitic comments to push their white nationalist agenda. The question is whether Ye fans would allow their admiration of his musical talents—or whatever else they like about him—to overshadow the fact that he is now regularly spewing pro-Nazi rhetoric to millions of people.

In at least one corner of the internet, fans are responding in what may be the most effective and meaningful way possible—by countering Ye's commentary with a deluge of Holocaust education and remembrance.

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