Frank McAndrew

  • Expert shares the simple small talk mistake almost everyone makes—and how to fix it
    A group of friends having a chat.Photo credit: via Canva/Photos
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    Expert shares the simple small talk mistake almost everyone makes—and how to fix it

    “It’s a natural impulse—we want to relate, to show we understand.”

    You might be shocked to learn that many people don’t like making small talk. Surprise, right? They either believe it’s beneath them to talk about mundane subjects or don’t see the benefit of discussing the weather, sports, or television with people they hardly know.

    However, these folks are missing a very valuable form of interaction that can help them with their love lives, friendships, and careers. They also remove themselves from situations where they can elevate small talk to something more valuable and meaningful.

    Jefferson Fisher, a Texas personal injury attorney and communications expert, has become massively popular on Instagram—with nearly 6 million followers—for sharing tips “to help people argue less and talk more.” While promoting his new book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More, Fisher discussed the number one problem people have while making small talk.

    What’s the biggest mistake people make during small talk?

    “They unknowingly turn the conversation back to themselves too quickly,” Fisher tells Parade. “It’s a natural impulse—we want to relate, to show we understand. But what often happens is that we hijack the conversation.”

    “For example, someone says, ‘I just got back from a trip to Italy,’ and instead of asking about their experience, we jump in with, ‘Oh, I’ve been to Italy several times, it’s great.’ It’s well-meaning, but it can come across as dismissive,” Fisher said. “Instead, focus on them. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘That’s wonderful, what was your favorite part?’ Small talk isn’t about impressing people, it’s about making them feel seen and heard.”

    Fisher’s advice echoes that of the great Dale Carnegie, author of the 1936 classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. In the book, Carnegie says, “To be interesting, be interested.” Carnegie’s advice is counterintuitive because we are taught to believe that being likable means dominating conversations and entertaining the other person. However, Carnegie thinks that people who are generous listeners tend to make a better first impression.

    How to be more likable

    Researchers at Harvard University found that when you ask someone a question, people will like you more if, after they answer, you ask them two more follow-up questions. So, if you ask, “Where did you go last summer?” And they reply, Italy, you can follow that up with two questions about their favorite city and the restaurant they’ll never forget. Then, you can tell them that you’ve been there, too.

    “We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study’s authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

    conversation, small talk, chatting, discussion, communication
    Two people have a conversation. Credit: Fauxels/Pexel

    People will take a shine to you after you ask a few questions because it shows that you are listening and interested in what they say. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

    While at first, it may take a little practice to ask follow-up questions instead of turning the conversation to your experiences and opinions, it should take some pressure off the need to be interesting. Now, instead of trying to wow people with your stories, all you have to do is listen to theirs, and they’ll like you all the more for it.

     

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. 6 years later, here are the results.
    Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?Photo credit: Canva Photos

    It’s not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

    But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado that are part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

    About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah’s most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

    beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change
    Beaver in water. Photo by Svetozar Cenisev on Unsplash

    In 2019, master’s student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a “translocation” project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah’s Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

    Why beavers? It just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

    Beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

    When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

    It’s why beavers have earned the title of “keystone species,” or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

    Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to being a “nuisance,” interfering with infrastructure, or being in danger, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

    Despite the research team’s best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

    But enough have stayed and built dams since 2019 that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

    The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they’ve been in years. The fish are thriving. Residents of Utah are overjoyed at the results of the experiment.

    A column in The Salt Lake Tribune from 2025 (six years after the beaver translocation began) writes that the revitalization of the Price River “helped save our Utah town.”

    “A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper. On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible.”

    Of course, it wasn’t JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

    But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

    beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change
    An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River Public Domain

    In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They’re hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

    Utah’s San Rafael river, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In on area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and “riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river,” according to KUER.

    It’s hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they’re getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

    To that I say…it’s about dam time!

     

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • 3-year-old ventures outside in the pitch black to save his great-grandma after scary fall
    A 3-year-old rescued his grandma after she fell and hit her head.Photo credit: Canva

    A lot of parents feel guilty about letting their kids watch TV. But a little bit of screentime isn’t always a bad thing. There are shows with legitimate educational value like Ms. Rachel or Sesame Street. Educational programming can be an amazing way for kids to accelerate their learning of counting, the alphabet, and social behaviors.

    In some rare cases, they can learn even more than that from their favorite TV shows: Like bravery and strength. Just take it from 3-year-old Bridger Peabody.

    Bridger is just three years old but the toddler is already adding “hero” to his resume before he even starts preschool.


    toddler hero, Denver boy saves grandma, heroes, grandma, grandma babysitting, grandparents, family, 911
    Not all heroes wear capes; some wear blankies. Giphy

    Bridger is a huge fan of the show Paw Patrol, which came in handy when an emergency took place while he was being babysat by his great-grandmother Sharon Lewis, 77.

    The two were home alone when the unthinkable happened, “Gigi,” which is what Bridger calls his grandma, suffered a terrifying and violent fall. Lewis uses a walker to get around and must’ve become unsteady on her feet while maneuvering the wheeled walker inside.

    The pair were outside enjoying some playtime before everything went south. As they were making their way inside from playing in the backyard, Lewis fell—but it wasn’t just a normal trip and fall. The great-grandma didn’t land on her knees, bottom, or even her hands—which probably would caused enough damage. When Lewis fell, she forcefully hit her head on the cement steps and blood quickly rushed from her wound—but that wasn’t the end of her problem.

    The two were alone, and there was no one else around to help.

    “I tripped over something and fell and hit my head on the concrete step,” Lewis tells Inside Edition.

    The elderly woman was unable to move and her cell phone was not with her. Since she was home alone with the toddler, she realized he was the only one there who could help her.

    So, she instructed him to get her phone from her car. Bridger may be young, but he knew his grandmother was hurt and needed his help. There were a couple of stumbling blocks for Bridger to overcome, though, the first one being that the phone was in the car, not inside the house. The second was that the sun had set and the toddler is afraid of the dark. Venturing out into the darkness alone to get his great-grandma’s cellphone was a monumental task for the little guy.

    This is where Paw Patrol comes in. The show is popular with toddlers and preschoolers, and depicts cartoon dogs of different breeds donning uniforms from various help and service professions (firefighter, police, construction, etc.) to rescue different fictional animals. It shows kids the importance of bravery, team work, and kindness—which Bridger clearly picked up on.

    The little guy knew that it was dark outside, but he also knew he needed to help his great-grandmother—so he braved the dark channeling his inner Paw Patrol character.

    The whole thing was captured on the Peabody’s security camera and it’s just as amazing and adorable as you would expect.

    Bridger even gives himself a little pep talk as he navigates the nighttime darkness to retrieve the cell phone so Gigi can call 911. You can see Bridger holding his blankie in the night vision security camera as he walks to the car repeating, “Don’t be afraid.”

    The boy opens the car door and excitedly exclaims, “YAY! I did it!” when he gets inside the car.

    When the interior light turned on in the car, Bridger could clearly see the phone and was able to grab it and bring it back to his grandmother, allowing her to call 911.

    The ambulance came to take Lewis to the hospital where she received 22 staples in her head. She’s now home safely recovering all thanks to the bravery of her three-year-old great grandson.

    Social media users couldn’t get enough of the story of bravery, and it quickly went viral. Commenters chimed in with their admiration:

    “Not all hero’s wear capes, some of them hold blankies.”

    “Grandma’s hope in Bridger overcame his fear! May they always be bonded, and continue to make lasting memories together!”

    “him telling himself dont be scared is one of the cutest and bravest things i have seen that was special.”

    “Paw Patrol company needs to give that young warrior something special.”

    “Yay!! I did it!!” My heart melted. What an adorable little boy, and so strong. He saved his Gigi’s life that day. Bless him!!!”

    Gigi is doing well and, with the media frenzy dying down, Bridger is returning to life as a normal 3-year-old. But he and his Gigi will be bonded for life over what happened, that much is for sure. The young man might have a bright future in helping others ahead of him with the bravery he’s displayed so far in his short life.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Teachers share the tell-tale signs they know a parent truly cares about their kid
    Teachers share insights on the signs parents truly care about their kids.Photo credit: Image via Canva
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    Teachers share the tell-tale signs they know a parent truly cares about their kid

    “When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens.”

    Few people spend more time with kids than teachers. From the classroom to the playground, teachers have deep and intuitive insight into what their students’ relationships are like with their parents, and many teachers can tell when parents are invested and truly care about their kids.

    In a Reddit forum, member @allsfairinwar posed the question: “Teachers of Reddit: What are some small, subtle ways you can tell a child’s parent really cares about them?”

    Teachers from all education levels shared their insight. From elementary teachers to high school teachers, these educators offered their firsthand experience with students that informed them about their relationship with parents at home. These are their most powerful observations.

    art, kids art, child painting, kids art project, finger paint
    Hit It Bang Bang GIF by Eddie & Laura Burton Realty Group Giphy

    “When the parent stops and actually looks at their kid’s art/work/listens about their day before heading home. I know everyone gets busy but damn don’t shove the art your kid is proud of right in their bag without first looking at it. We do the same piece of art for a week. They spent 2 hours on that, spare 2 minutes to show them their effort is worth something to you.” —@Worldly_Might_3183

    “When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens.” —@homerbartbob

    “When the parents are familiar with the child’s friends and talk to their child’s friends, I know they’re listening to their child talk about their day at school. Or when parents let slip that they got a full recap of something I said or that happened at school. I know they are having conversations with their child at home, and paying attention.” —@Pinkrivrdolphn

    minecraft, minecreaft gif, minecraft meme, minecraft kids, minecraft movie

    Games GIF Giphy

    “When the kid is happy/quick to tell their parents about things. Not just serious or important things, but just random bullsh*t. Do I care about Minecraft? Not really. Do I care that my kid cares about Minecraft? Very much. Lay it on me kid. Spare no detail.” —@IJourden

    “They let their kids fail and experience natural consequences. Good parents are preparing their children to be adults, and part of that is learning responsibility and accountability. Let your kids make mistakes and learn from them!” —@oboe_you_didnt

    “You can tell a lot about home life based on students behavior the week leading up to a break. If they are happy/excited/giddy/endearingly obnoxious I know they are going somewhere safe to someone who cares. The students who don’t have that are often increasingly anxious/angry/withdrawn/acting out.” —@pulchritudinousprout

    hug, greeting, hugs, greet, reunited

    Monsters Inc Hug GIF Giphy

    “The moment that a parent greets the child at the end of the day is very telling. Some parents clearly want to know all about their child’s day and connect with them, some don’t.” —@Smug010

    “When I make positive contact home and the parent speaks glowingly about their own kid. It’s great to hear.” —@outtodryclt

    “A few years back, I heard a parent ask their kid if they found someone to be kind to today. That made a real impact on me. Now I try to remind my own kids to ‘find someone to be kind to’ if I’m doing drop off and/or ask ‘Who were you kind to today?’ after school.” —@AspiringFicWriter

    “When a student asks for help, they actually need the help. They are not doing it just to get your attention.”—@Typical_Importance65

    cute kid, well groomed, kid hair, clean clothes, kid cared for

    Dance Marathon Reaction GIF by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Giphy

    “It doesn’t always mean everything is perfect at home, but a child who is well-groomed is always a good sign. That doesn’t always mean the most fashionable clothes or perfect hair, just that the child is clean, their clothes are clean and appropriate for the weather. Also when a child knows how to celebrate their own wins and isn’t afraid of making a mistake or being wrong- that shows that their parents have modeled good emotional regulation.” —@itscornelectric

    “They get them services when they’re struggling. I work with kids with disabilities and the learning outcomes/experience of school (and by extension, the greater world) for kids who have their needs met is far different to those who don’t. The number of parents who respond to a teacher saying ‘I think it might be worth John seeing an OT/a speech therapist/ getting his eyes checked’ with something along the lines of ‘f*ck you, what would you know?’ Is astounding. The parents who make appointments, share information from specialists with the school, and are proactive about their children’s abilities or disabilities – their kids see such improvements.” —@prison_industrial_co

    “They ask thoughtful questions. Even something that seems routine to adults like, ‘How is/was your day?’ I’m in elementary, and it’s appropriate for kids to talk mostly about themselves. Kids who ask thoughtful questions are doing so because it’s consistently modeled. It’s also not very common (again, age appropriate egocentrism) so it stands out.” —@mundane-mondays

    read, reading, kid reading, kids read, reading with kids

    Read Book Club GIF Giphy

    “When you know they’re being exposed to reading at home. Maybe they can read at a higher level or they’re mastering their sight words. For students with learning disabilities, the kids are trying their hardest to read, using context clues, using pictures and making up a story, or even making different voices for characters. When I was in a low functioning Autistic support room, this one little boy couldn’t form words, but he made noises is different voices and used dramatic face expressions on each page to represent characters talking.” —@Mediocre-Bee-9262

    “Accountability. A good parent knows that their kids isn’t perfect and if the kid does something wrong (like hitting or bullying other kids) they don’t look for excuses, or for how the other kid provoked that behavior, but helps their kid understand why their behavior was hurtful.” —@SadlyNotDannyDeVito

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • The real-life love story of Maria and Georg Von Trapp we didn’t see in ‘The Sound of Music’
    Maria Von Trapp was not in love with Georg when they got married, but that changed.Photo credit: Public domain

    The Sound of Music has been beloved for generations, partially for the music (and Julie Andrews’ angelic voice), partially for the historical storyline, and partially for the love story between Maria and Georg Von Trapp. The idea of a nun-in-training softening the heart of a curmudgeonly widower, falling in love with him, and ultimately becoming a big, happy family is just an irresistible love story.

    But it turns out the real love story behind their union is even more fascinating.

    maria von trapp, georg von trapp, the sound of music, love story, history
    Maria Von Trapp (left) was played by Julie Andrews and her husband Georg was played by Christopher Plummer in Photo credit: Public domain

    The National Archives has collected information about what’s fact and what’s fiction in The Sound of Music, which is based on a real family in Austria named Von Trapp. The film was generally based on the first section of Maria Von Trapp’s 1949 autobiography, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, with some of the details being true and others fictionalized for a movie audience.

    For instance, Maria was actually hired on as a tutor for just one of Georg’s children, not as a governess for all of them. The children, whose names, ages and sexes were changed, were already musically inclined before Maria arrived. Georg was not the cold, grumpy dad he was portrayed as in the beginning of the film, but rather a warm and involved parent who enjoyed making music with his kids. Maria and Georg were married 11 years before leaving Austria, not right before the Nazi takeover. The Von Trapps left by train, not in a secret excursion over the mountains.

    But perhaps the most intriguing detail? Maria was not in love with Georg at all when they got married.

    gif, the sound of music, von trapp family, movie, true events

    Sound Of Music Flag GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization Giphy

    It doesn’t initially make for a great Hollywood romance, but the Von Trapp love story began with marriage for other reasons and evolved into a genuine love story. Maria wrote that she fell in love with Georg’s children at first sight, but she wasn’t sure about leaving her religious calling when Georg asked her to marry him. The nuns urged her to do God’s will and marry him, but for Maria it was all about the children, not him. When Georg proposed, he asked her to stay with him and become a second mother to his children. “God must have made him word it that way,” Maria wrote, “because if he had only asked me to marry him I might not have said yes.”

    “I really and truly was not in love,” she wrote. “I liked him but didn’t love him. However, I loved the children, so in a way I really married the children.”

    However, she shared that her feelings for Georg changed over time. “…[B]y and by I learned to love him more than I have ever loved before or after.”

    The idea of marrying someone you don’t love is antithetical to every romantic notion our society celebrates, yet the evolution of Maria’s love for Georg has been a common occurrence across many cultures throughout history. Romantic love was not always the primary impetus for marriage. It was more often an economic proposition and communal arrangement that united families and peoples, formed the basis of alliances, and enabled individuals to rise through social ranks. Some cultures still practice arranged marriage, which limited research has found has outcomes identical to love-first marriage in reports of passionate love, companionate love, satisfaction, and commitment. The idea of marrying someone you don’t already love is anathema to modern Western sensibilities, but the reality is that people have married over the centuries for many reasons, only one of which is falling in love.

    Maria’s marriage to Georg actually was about falling in love, but not with him. She loved his children and wanted to be with them. It definitely helped that she liked the guy, but she wasn’t swept off her feet by him, there were no moonlit confessions of love a la “Something Good,” and their happily ever after love story didn’t come until much later.

    Ultimately, Maria and Georg’s love story was one for the ages, just not one that fits the Hollywood film trope. And it’s a compelling reminder that our unwritten rules and social norms determining what love and marriage should look like aren’t set in stone. Do marriages for reasons other than love always evolve into genuine love? No. Do marriages based on falling in love first always last? Also no. Should a marriage that starts with “like” and develops into to a genuine, deep love over years be considered “true love” in the way we usually think of it? Who can say? Lots to ponder over in this love story.

    But Maria’s description of learning “to love him more than I have ever loved before or after” is a pretty high bar, so clearly it worked for them. The Von Trapps were married for 20 years and had three more children together before Georg died of lung cancer in 1947. Maria would live another four decades and never remarried. She died in 1987 at age 82 and is buried next to Georg on the family’s property in Vermont.

     

    This article originally appeared last year It has been updated.

  • Parents go viral for ‘secret’ praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.
    Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice gentle parenting. Photo credit: Credit: Instagram @namwilamulwanda
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    Parents go viral for ‘secret’ praise technique. Science confirm it’s certifiably genius.

    “I promise that if you do this in front of your child, their confidence will skyrocket!”

    There are so many conflicting ideas about building self-confidence in children. Is there a right way? Could praise be harmful? Should everyone receive a gold star? As with many things in life, sometimes the best solution is the simplest one—hiding in plain sight, or just out of it.

    Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi practice “gentle-parenting” with their daughter, Nhyara. Shared in a video on Instagram, one of their techniques is talking about Nhyara when she’s within earshot but out of sight. These aren’t your typical behind-closed-doors parent conversations—no venting about daily frustrations or sharing complaints they’d never say to her face. Instead, they create intentional moments of celebration, offering genuine praise and heartfelt affirmation.

    In a viral Instagram post that’s garnered over one million likes, Mulwanda writes, “POV: You talk behind your child’s back so they can hear you.” Self-described as a “passionate mother, content creator, and small business owner,” Mulwanda naturally overflows with ideas: she writes a Substack, She Who Blooms, which is about “blooming in our own time, in our own way.” She also runs Rooted, a shop where she “carefully curates products that embody the essence of growth, empowerment, and staying rooted in one’s true self.”

    In the video, Mulwanda and her partner sit in a quiet corner, chatting about their daughter Nhyara while occasionally peeking around to see if she’s listening—which she is. With her within earshot but not directly part of the conversation, they discuss their daughter:

    “I’m just so proud of her and the things she does,” her mom starts.

    “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out,” adds her dad. They go on to applaud her independence (“She’s always telling me, ‘Daddy, I want to brush my teeth on my own,’” says Zephi), before concluding that she’s amazing.

    “She’s amazing,” says Mulwanda. “So, so, so amazing,” Zephi responds.

    People in the comments were obviously here for it. Parents shared their own versions of this technique, including one who wrote, “As a solo mom, I pretend to make phone calls to a family member and do this.”

    Another parent shared a powerful example:

    “My son used to be scared of climbing down the stairs. So, my husband said loudly, ‘He’s very brave! He has shown a lot of courage lately.’ The next day, when we tried carrying him down the stairs, he said, ‘Nope, I have a lot of courage in me.’”

    Others reflected on their own childhoods. One commenter wrote, “No exaggeration, I’d be an entirely different person had my parents been like this with me.”

    “Stop, I was just thinking last night, ‘When I have kids, I’m going to have loud conversations with my future husband about how much I love our children and how proud I am of them,’” another enthusiastically shared.

    child, hiding, parenting, conversations, praise
    Children believe that conversations between adults are more u201cauthenticu201d and honest. Photo credit: Canva

    Research indicates that indirect praise has a stronger psychological impact than direct praise, particularly in young children.

    “This is such a powerful way of reinforcing positive behavior,” explains parenting influencer Cara Nicole, who also went viral for her unique approach to parenting. “There’s something special about overhearing others talk about you—you know they’re being genuine because they’re not saying it directly to you.”

    This effectiveness stems from children’s innate understanding that conversations between adults tend to be more honest than parent-child interactions. From an early age, children recognize that direct conversations with parents often have an intentional, behavior-shaping purpose. In contrast, overheard praise feels authentic and spontaneous, rather than an attempt to influence the child’s self-image.

    These techniques work best when praise focuses on effort and process rather than innate qualities. Take Nhyara’s dad’s comment: “She works on her reading, like that difficult word that she took the time to really sound out.”

    Yet, it’s crucial to keep praise realistic and measured. Avoid overzealous claims about future achievements, like acing every spelling test for the rest of her life. Children have keen intuition; if they sense insincerity, the strategy can backfire, damaging their trust in parents. Similarly, over-inflated praise—like declaring “incredible” performance for average effort—can burden children with unrealistic expectations.

    Keep it simple. A casual remark like, “I noticed how carefully Maya put away her toys without being asked. That was so nice. It really helped keep the house clean.”

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=jI502h-1WkY%3Fsi%3DmQdZF4eD1wz9SYZX%26controls%3D0

    The viral response to Mulwanda’s video demonstrates the power of gentle parenting combined with thoughtful, specific praise. It’s heartening to see modern parents sharing their diverse approaches to showing their children love. For many commenters who didn’t experience this kind of upbringing, these conversations offer a path to healing. As Mulwanda eloquently states in her pinned comment:

    “To those of you who only heard negative as a child, you were never the problem. You were a child, and you didn’t deserve the experience you had. Your presence on this earth is a blessing, and the fact that you show up every single day is proof of just how amazing you are. You are brave, you are beautiful (you too, boys), and you deserve the world and more.
    If any of you feel emotions rising up, close your eyes, hug your inner child, and remind them that you’re there.” Namwila Mulwanda

     

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • 20 forgotten foods and drinks from the 1980s that Gen Xers are still hankering for
    Foods from the 1980s that Gen X is nostalgic for.Photo credit: Reddit/algebramclain/dannyhogan200

    In the 1980s, food was entering a new era of convenience. A big reason was more women continuing to enter the workforce throughout the ’80s—a trend that began in the 1960s and peaked in the late 1990s, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

    With more women working jobs outside the home, convenience and frozen foods became more popular. Thus, the 1980s marked the height of microwave cooking.

    By the mid-1980s, microwaves had become standard kitchen appliances, notes the Henry Ford Museum. Cooking was all about saving time.

    “The act of eating—once a leisurely undertaking synonymous with pleasure and social interaction—has been reduced to a necessary function not unlike shaving or refueling a car,” wrote New York Times reporter Dena Kleiman, according to The International Wine & Food Society.

    While homemade meals were becoming more rare, they made way for a robust processed and snack foods market. Many of these foods defined Gen X childhoods and are now making a comeback in 2026 with the “newstalgic” food trend: modern consumers are craving nostalgic flavors, according to Food Dive.

    On Reddit, Gen Xers got nostalgic about the foods that filled their pantries, fridges, freezers (and stomachs) back in the 1980s. From microwave meals to sweets and drinks, these are the ’80s foods and drinks they miss most.

    Microwave meals

    “Soggy fries [from MicroMagic] while staying home sick from school and watching either The Price is Right or Gilligan’s Island.” – CompleteTruth

    “Chef Boyardee Smurf pasta. DEEEEEP memory unlocked!” – sevnthcrow, ButIAmYourDaughter

    “I miss Pepperidge Farm Broccoli & Cheese Puff Pastries.” – pixietulip

    “Weaver chicken croquettes.” – Klutzy-Reporter4223

    “Yes! Jeno’s Pizza [Rolls] Snacks. They were, like, dollar coin size and there was a row of cheese, a row of pepperoni, and a row of crumbled italian sausage. And anyone who comments with anything regarding bagel bites OBVIOUSLY never had Pizza Snacks. I would LOVE for them to come back. Bagel Bites SUCK!” – Accomplished-Push190

    “Chef Boyardee Roller Coasters.” – Chef Boyardee Roller Coasters

    Snacks

    “Hot buttered Cheerios. When I told people I grew up eating buttered Cheerios, they thought I was nuts.” – electric_pole_6

    “Fruit Wrinkles fruit snacks. These were so good!” – JenaPet02

    “Pizzarias pizza chips.” – LittleWhiteFuzzies

    “I occasionally crave the Peanut Butter Boppers. I think I convinced my mother they were heathy since they were created by Nature Valley granola.” – jfdonohoe

    Sweets

    “Pudding pops! They were so good. They finally discontinued them several years ago.” – Adelaide_Farmington

    “Giggle cookies. I KNEW there was a reason why Trader Joe’s pumpkin Oreos were bringing back memories!!!! I just couldn’t remember what!!” – laurenishere, Altruistic-Win9651

    “Hostess Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pies. Man we’re these tasty. I remember exactly what shelf they were on at my neighborhood convenience store, I can see it now. Lol. Good memories!” – The_OtherGuy_99, Ok_Owl5141

    “Nestle Alpine White— sweet dreams you can’t resist.” – Metzger4Sheriff

    “PB Max bars.” – my-coffee-needs-me

    Drinks

    “I remember BRIM coffee. ‘Fill it to the rim with BRIM’.” – User Unknown

    “Hi-C Peach.” – LdyWarner

    “I lived on Five Alive juice as a kid. Damn do I miss it.” – kardde

    “I miss Slice soda.” – wookie_opera_singer

    “I also liked Like cola.” – DiscoSprinkles

  • Non-Americans share the 13 dead giveaways a tourist is American
    A group of Americans looking at a map. Photo credit: via SoStark/Flickr
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    Non-Americans share the 13 dead giveaways a tourist is American

    “Americans recognize other Americans in most countries because they smile at strangers on the street.”

    It’s wonderful to go on vacation and learn all about other people’s cultures. But when you travel to another country, you also learn a lot about your own. When you’re a fish out of water, it’s easy to see the ways you stand out in a foreign environment. It’s especially noticeable when you’re an American, because your culture is known around the world.

    A big way Americans stand out overseas is through their fashion. Wearing a New York Yankees cap, cargo shorts, and white New Balance sneakers may be camouflage in America, but in Paris, you stick out like peanut butter on a baguette.

    americans, american tourists, americans aborad, americans on holiday, tourists,
    Americans looking at a map. Photo credit: tAlex Bikes/Flickr

    To reveal the many ways Americans stand out while traveling, a Reddit user asked non-Americans a simple question: “Besides their accent, what’s one way you know a tourist is American?” The post received over 18,000 responses. Evidently, there are a lot of ways to spot an American abroad.

    Here are 13 of the best responses:

    1. They wait to be seated

    “When visiting Paris, my wife and I learned they don’t seat you at restaurants. You just walk in and sit down at an available table. We figured it out after standing around at the entrance a few times. Then we started noticing other American tourists doing the same.”

    2. They start conversations with everyone

    “Saying ‘hi, how are you?’ to the barista, servers, retail workers. My country doesn’t quite have that culture so I find it really sweet.”

    “I’m fascinated with Norway and remember watching a vlog from an American who had moved there. She said one of the biggest differences was the lack of politeness, because people view it as fake. I would love to live somewhere that’s more introverted than the US.”

    “The absolute fearlessness of asking anyone on the street about anything.”

    “This is something i still don’t understand after being in Europe for a few years. Why are people so afraid of other people just like them?”

    “I’ll literally talk to anyone that wants to chat me up, never thought that was uniquely American.”

    americans, american tourists, americans aborad, americans on holiday, tourists,
    Americans filming on a city street. Photo credit: Joseph Tame/Flickr

    3. The smile is a dead giveaway

    “When I went to Italy with a friend, I couldn’t figure out why everyone greeted me in English before I said a word. I don’t wear running shoes outside of the gym, I dress pretty posh, I can’t remember the last time I owned a baseball cap, and I try to have a basic grasp on the local language. How can they tell I’m American? My friend told me, ‘it’s because you’re smiling at them.’”

    “It’s not so much about the fact that Americans smile, it’s how you smile. Nobody here smiles with their teeth. Maybe if they heard a really funny joke or are trying to look happy in a picture, but that’s about it. When I visited America, my family literally spent hours trying to learn how to properly smile with all your teeth showing. I still can’t do it correctly, it looks weird. I remember the first times I saw pictures from a highschool yearbook on the internet. I thought, ‘What is wrong with them? Why are they smiling so much?’ If you smile with your teeth at someone in Europe, it’s either your job, or you’re American.”

    “Americans recognize other Americans in most countries because they smile at strangers on the street.”

    “I live in New York, I don’t understand this smiling thing.”

    Why do Americans smile so much? It’s because they come from a diverse country. A study of 32 different countries found that emotional expressiveness is correlated with diversity. When people are around others from diverse cultures, they are more likely to use a smile to build trust and cooperation.

    4. Americans are very polite

    “Some of yous are way more polite than expected. Whenever I hear someone say ‘ma’am’ I know they’re American. Like one time I was in Lidls and there was an American family asking someone who worked there if they sold ‘cell phones’ and when the woman said they didn’t they were all ‘oh okay, thank you for your time ma’am! Have a great day!’ which is mucb more cheery than the average Scot.”

    “Yes, sir, that’s southern manners.”

    “I’m gonna piggyback the Midwest in here, too. If you just walk away without putting something like this in Kansas, you might as well have slapped them.”

    americans, american tourists, americans aborad, americans on holiday, tourists,
    American tourists. Photo credit: Canva

    5. Americans are friendly

    “Most American tourists I’ve come across are really friendly and talkative. They always seem to be genuinely stoked to be here haha.”

    “Let’s put it this way: in the Eurozone, you can make a day trip of going to another country. For most of the US, getting to literally any other country is a massive ordeal with a huge price tag, so when we get to go, it’s a really special occasion that we have to make the most of because a lot of us have no idea when or if we’ll ever get to do it again.”

    6. They are amazed by old things

    “Girlfriend used to work on a farm and an estate in the U.K. and would often have Americans in awe of the old buildings. One once said ‘some of these buildings are older than my country.’”

    “Reminds me of that old saw ‘Americans think a hundred years is a long time, Europeans think a hundred miles is a long way.’”

    7. They need to find a trash can

    “If you see an American in Japan, they will frantically look for public trash cans. The absence of trash receptacles is something unfounded in the US, and we become confused at the idea of having to hold it for extended periods of time.”

    “EXACTLY!! Im American, went last year and i ended up having half of my backpack filled with trash until i found a trashcan, it didnt help it was mid summer so we would buy drinks from vending machines a lot, not all the vending machines had trashcans.”

    americans, american tourists, americans aborad, americans on holiday, tourists,
    An urban dumpster. Photo credit: Canva

    8. They won’t stop tipping

    “Tipping. Americans will try to tip everyone, even in countries where tipping isn’t a thing/is considered a serious insult.”

    “True. I used to work in a bar in the UK, and American customers would insist on tipping me even after I declined. The relief on their faces when I took the money was hilarious.”

    9. They shop late at night

    “They’re looking for a store open at like 11 pm. Even if in most European countries stores close at like 7-8 pm.”

    “Yeah, I’m italian but live in the US right now. One of my coworkers went to Italy on vacation and she was texting me stuff like ‘there’s no circle k here?’ Lmao.”

    10. Just look at their feet

    “Americans will be wearing sneakers.”

    “Yep. I walked into a museum in Germany, and the woman selling tickets greeted us in English. We were dressed conservatively, and hadn’t said a word, yet she knew. I asked her how, and she said, ‘It’s your shoes.’ Indeed, I was wearing running shoes.”

    Although there is no specific reason why Americans tend to wear sneakers more often than people in other countries, a major factor is car culture. When you don’t walk much, you value comfort and style over everything else. Plus, America is a country based on individuality, which breeds a culture that’s more casual than in other developed countries.

    11. They take off their shoes in the airport

    “I hear that us Americans can easily be spotted in the airport by the fact usually were use to taking off our shoes in TSA.”

    “Dude when we landed in Japan a couple of years ago I started to take my shoes off to go through customs and I’ll never forget, one of the agents there just completely froze and looked at me like I had frogs coming out of my ears. He then motioned for me to put my shoes back on. I was very embarrassed.”

    12. It’s how Americans dress

    “Baseball caps, University spirit wear, cargo shorts, free t-shirts from events with ads and text all over them, and for the older Americans, they always seem to just kinda stand in the middle of everything looking around.”

    “People may mock Americans for wearing shirts with ads on them but Europeans and their soccer (ahem, football) gear is just as questionable.”

    “As opposed to football jerseys with ads prominently featured on the design that the wearer paid good money for.”

    “For the longest time, I thought that there was a soccer team named Fly Emirates.”

    americans, american tourists, americans aborad, americans on holiday, tourists,
    A peanut butter sandwich. Photo credit: Canva

    13. They’re looking for peanut butter

    “If they buy peanutbutter. It sounds very weird, but everyone who buys peanut butter where I work, turns out to be American.”

    “I was desperately homesick while living in Belfast and had a quiet cry in the grocery store because I wanted it and couldn’t find it. I eventually did, made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and felt better. Not seeing the sun for three months was doing my head in.”

    Interestingly, although Americans are stereotyped as the biggest consumers of peanut butter in the world, it’s actually much more popular in developing nations such as Burkina Faso, Myanmar, and Chad, where it is used as a nutritional supplement and an ingredient in soups and stews.

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