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Ohhhh, So THIS Is What A Grown-Up Government’s Supposed To Look Like
The gap between rich and poor won’t shock you. The basic solutions to it will.
04.18.13
Images courtesy of Letters of Love
True
When Grace Berbig was 7 years old, her mom was diagnosed with leukemia, a cancer of the body’s blood-forming tissues. Being so young, Grace didn’t know what cancer was or why her mother was suddenly living in the hospital. But she did know this: that while her mom was in the hospital, she would always be assured that her family was thinking of her, supporting her and loving her every step of her journey.
Nearly every day, Grace and her two younger sisters would hand-make cards and fill them with drawings and messages of love, which their mother would hang all over the walls of her hospital room. These cherished letters brought immeasurable peace and joy to their mom during her sickness. Sadly, when Grace was just 10 years old, her mother lost her battle with cancer.“
Image courtesy of Letters of Love
Losing my mom put the world in a completely different perspective for me,” Grace says. “I realized that you never know when someone could leave you, so you have to love the people you love with your whole heart, every day.”
Grace’s father was instrumental in helping in the healing process of his daughters. “I distinctly remember my dad constantly reminding my two little sisters, Bella and Sophie, and I that happiness is a choice, and it was now our job to turn this heartbreaking event in our life into something positive.”
When she got to high school, Grace became involved in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and a handful of other organizations. But she never felt like she was doing enough.
“I wanted to create an opportunity for people to help beyond donating money, and one that anyone could be a part of, no matter their financial status.”
In October 2018, Grace started Letters of Love, a club at her high school in Long Lake, Minnesota, to emotionally support children battling cancer and other serious illnesses through letter-writing and craft-making.
Image courtesy of Letters of Love
Much to her surprise, more than 100 students showed up for the first club meeting. From then on, Letters of Love grew so fast that during her senior year in high school, Grace had to start a GoFundMe to help cover the cost of card-making materials.
Speaking about her nonprofit today, Grace says, “I can’t find enough words to explain how blessed I feel to have this organization. Beyond the amount of kids and families we are able to support, it allows me to feel so much closer and more connected to my mom.”
Since its inception, Letters of Love has grown to more than 25 clubs with more than 1,000 members providing emotional support to more than 60,000 patients in children’s hospitals around the world. And in the process it has become a full-time job for Grace.
“I do everything from training volunteers and club ambassadors, paying bills, designing merchandise, preparing financial predictions and overviews, applying for grants, to going through each and every card ensuring they are appropriate to send out to hospitals.”
Image courtesy of Letters of Love
In addition to running Letters of Love, Grace and her small team must also contend with the emotions inherent in their line of work.
“There have been many, many tears cried,” she says. “Working to support children who are battling cancer and other serious and sometimes chronic illnesses can absolutely be extremely difficult mentally. I feel so blessed to be an organization that focuses solely on bringing joy to these children, though. We do everything we can to simply put a smile on their face, and ensure they know that they are so loved, so strong, and so supported by people all around the world.”
Image courtesy of Letters of Love
Letters of Love has been particularly instrumental in offering emotional support to children who have been unable to see friends and family due to COVID-19. A video campaign in the summer of 2021 even saw members of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings and the NHL’s Minnesota Wild offer short videos of hope and encouragement to affected children.
Grace is currently taking a gap year before she starts college so she can focus on growing Letters of Love as well as to work on various related projects, including the publication of a children’s book.
“The goal of the book is to teach children the immense impact that small acts of kindness can have, how to treat their peers who may be diagnosed with disabilities or illness, and how they are never too young to change the world,” she says.
Since she was 10, Grace has kept memories of her mother close to her, as a source of love and inspiration in her life and in the work she does with Letters of Love.
Image courtesy of Grace Berbig
“When I lost my mom, I felt like a section of my heart went with her, so ever since, I have been filling that piece with love and compassion towards others. Her smile and joy were infectious, and I try to mirror that in myself and touch people’s hearts as she did.”
For more information visit Letters of Love.
Please donate to Grace’s GoFundMe and help Letters of Love to expand, publish a children’s book and continue to reach more children in hospitals around the world.
This article originally appeared on August 27, 2015
Oh, society! We have such a complicated relationship with relationships.
It starts early, with the movies we are plopped in front of as toddlers.
GIF from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast."
And continues through adolescence, still through entertainment.
"I'd rather die than stay away from you."
GIF from "Twilight."
And then guess what happens? We're peddled some more of what we're supposedly meant to be aiming for when we're adults.
"I was the one girl he chose from 20 other girls to be with. Now I know I'm special!" — me, mocking probably very sweet people.
GIF from "The Bachelor."
There are so many examples of this, it's difficult to narrow them down. Not to mention all the social cues coming in all stealth-bomber-like to beat one's psyche into submission. Like when single people go to weddings, their family members casually ask them, "When will YOU settle down?" And when a friend goes through a breakup, it's almost instinctive to reassure them that there's someone out there for them.
But what if not everyone is supposed to pair off? What if some people are — wait for it — happier when they're single?
It's kind of a radical notion in this culture, where pairing off is treated more as a foregone conclusion and universal life goal.
A study in 2014 from the National Bureau of Economic Research said that married people rated higher in happiness measurements than single people did.
You might have taken that study at face value.
But hold the phone! There's another recent study from University of Auckland's School of Psychology that tells a more complete story by comparing happiness levels among a very specific group of singles and marrieds.
How? Well they looked at something called "avoidance goals" and "approach goals."
What are avoidance and approach goals?
Well, what motivates each person is different. Some people are motivated by going after what their desired outcome is. Some people are more concerned with avoiding undesirable outcomes. People are often mixed bags, displaying some traits of avoidance and some traits of approach, and where they're at with it can change with other factors in life. But on the entire spectrum, some people fall on one distinct end or the other.
In the new study, it held up that low-avoidance singles were a little bit less happy than low-avoidance married people. In other words, people who were more approach-goal motivated and married DO experience a bit more happiness.
But, interestingly, researchers found that singles who fall more on the high-avoidance side of the spectrum showed the same level of happiness as high-avoidance marrieds.
And theoretically, for those happy high-avoidance singles, they could very well find themselves miserable in a relationship for whatever reasons they avoid them in the first place. In individual circumstances, singlehood may be the best choice for some.
What does it all mean?
Some people love love and want to find their happily ever after. There's nothing wrong with that, and society supports that model. More power to them!
But for those of you wondering if you're weird or broken because you seem to prefer single life, there's nothing wrong with you. Don't let society pressure you into doing things their way, you magnificently beautiful lone wolf!
@elenisabracos on TikTok
Eleni Sabracos (@elenisabracos) shared her doomed journey on TikTok, which began in 2016.
@elenisabracos IM NOT MAD AT #ADELE I JUST WANT TO GIVE HER THESE SHIRTS AND DRINK WHISPERING ANGEL TOGETHER #storytime #ellenshow ♬ original sound - Eleni
Sabracos purchased tickets to see Adele at Madison Square Garden. Fake tickets, it turns out.
“Nobody felt bad for me because I bought them off Craigslist so that was my own doing,” Sabracos declared sarcastically.
Attempt #2: Sabracos bought tickets (legitimately this time) to see Adele in concert at Wembley Stadium in London the next summer. Got a confirmation number and everything.
Deciding to raise the stakes, she even upgraded to the very VIP “golden circle” seat, which would, theoretically, have Sabracos so up close and personal with Adele she’d probably know what perfume she was wearing.
The impassioned “I WAS IN THE GOLDEN CIRCLE!” gets me every time.
That should make up for the previous blunder, right? Wrong.
Just one day before the concert, Adele canceled the show “on medical advice” after damaging her vocal cords. To be fair, Adele did not take this lightly either, and was “devastated” to let her fans down.
Unfortunately, Sabracos had already crossed the pond to see her.
“Mind you I risked my life to be there,” Sabracos exclaimed, “on this cardboard airplane called WOW airlines.” She then pointed to a headline showing that the carrier company had since been discontinued. Yikes.
“The only thing wow about it was that it was surprising the airplane could fly!” This girl is a natural comedienne.
One last twist of the proverbial knife: Deciding to give herself a comfort meal, Sabracos requested an uber driver to take her to a nearby restaurant. That driver’s name, eerily enough, was Adeel. Will this pain never end?!
At this point, Sabracos had become a viral sensation, even making a guest appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."
She had T-shirts printed, which read “I love Adele like Adele loves Beyonce," and everything.
Cut to 2021, when Sabracos’ brother gave her tickets to Adele’s Vegas show. Third time was certainly not the charm in this case.
@elenisabracos's custom-made (and seemingly cursed) t-shirts
Already in her hotel room in Las Vegas, Sabracos yells at the top of her lungs “WHYYYYY?” like a thwarted cartoon villain on hearing the news. And then she whispers in a tiny voice, ”I still brought the shirts.”
“Adele is part of the most elaborate April Fools prank ever,” one person commented. And hey, he might be onto something.
This story does have a happy ending though.
@elenisabracos THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING LADIES AND GENTS
♬ original sound - Eleni
In a follow-up video, Sabracos did in fact get to FaceTime with the British pop queen. And it sounds like there will be a meet-and-greet in the future, complete with wine and shirt giving.
Beware, well-deserved shrieks of excitement ensue.
Though Sabracos has yet to be successful in her original mission to see Adele live, this series of unfortunate events led to having one truly unique fan experience.
You know what they say, it’s about the journey, not the destination.
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This article originally appeared on 07.22.15
"So just recently I went out on a Match.com date, and it was fantastic," begins Dr. Danielle Sheypuk in her TEDx Talk.
If you've ever been on a bunch of Match.com dates, that opening line might make you do a double take. How does one get so lucky?!
Not Dr. Sheypuck's actual date.
Not Dr. Sheypuck's actual date. Photo by Thinkstock.
But don't get too jealous. Things quickly went downhill two dates later, as most Match.com dates ultimately do. This time, however, the reason may not be something that you've ever experienced. Intrigued? I was too. So here's the story.Gorgeous!
Gorgeous! Photo from Dr. Sheypuk's Instagram account, used with permission.
She's a licensed clinical psychologist, an advocate, and a model — among other things. She's also been confined to a wheelchair since childhood. And that last fact is what did her recent date in.
On their third date over a romantic Italian dinner, Sheypuk noticed that he was sitting farther away from her than usual. And then, out of nowhere, he began to ask the following questions:
"I've been thinking, how are you gonna be a mother? How are you gonna do the duties that's gonna be required of you? And even as wife — how ... I'm not sure how this is gonna work."
Used to this line of inquiry, she had the perfect quippy reply: "Well that's simple: I'm just gonna hire someone like every other New Yorker."
But despite her witty answer, he'd already made up his mind. She never heard from him again.
"I tried to convince myself that this was like any other relationship, but deep down I knew the reality. Who wants to date someone in a wheelchair?"
Dr. Sheypuk knows that that single question is evidence of a really serious problem —not just on the dating scene, but in society in general.
Society has factored out an entire group of potential romantic partners: people with disabilities.
Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.
In her words:
"We are completely left out of the dating picture. Society, media included, seems to ignore the fact that we have the same emotional needs and desires as everyone else. Is this injustice born out of the concept of the poster child and his or her duty to induce pity to raise money?
Or maybe it's a conclusion drawn form mainstream porn where we have actors performing, like, gymnastic stunts with the stamina that none of us have of bucking broncos and jackrabbits."
Um, yes. So much yes. She continues:
"The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.
The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.
"Now let's look at the continuum in our society where sexual is measured. On the one hand, we have humans that are the ultimate sex appeal object. So on that end, we have Victoria Secret models, Playboy centerfolds, people like that.
On the complete opposite end, we have people with physical disabilities. And it seems like the more we deviate from this ultimate sex icon, the more desexualized we become, the more taboo the topic, and the more damaging the consequences.
Now, for most people there are quick fixes, right? We have Hair Club for Men, Botox, Spanx, butt implants. But for people with disabilities, there are no quick fixes. There is no magic pill."
"And we are hit hard."
Watch the rest of Dr. Sheypuk's talk to hear her important insights about what dating and relationships are like when a person has a disability — and how much of society is limiting itself.
She talks about a guy on Tinder who asked her if she was capable of having sex (her answer is funny), why people with disabilities can have sexual experiences that are even better than those of able-bodied folks, and more.