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No one applauds this woman because they're too creeped out at themselves to put their hands together.

This is a fascinating video, I have to admit. Pay special attention to how people react to the speaker.

The speaker in this video is actually an actress named Kate Miles, but the facts about produce and its marketing are 100% real. The audience is also real, and thus the looks of disgust are totally real too.

She opens with:

"I'm going to give you some of the secrets about how we make you buy what we want you to buy. So, as a marketer, when I'm first given a project, what's my job? Well, my job is to make you want it, to crave it, to need it, to think that it is the best innovation in food since sliced bread."

It starts getting creepy from there. The reality behind food marketing is pretty damn eye-opening.

"So how do you make the public feel OK with this? How does that happen? My job. How do I do it? I use the language of innovation."

I don't think I'd call this the language of innovation. What about you?

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Education

A simple neuroscience brain trick to stay quiet instead of saying impulsive things you'll regret

Calm body, closed mouth.

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet
via Canva/Photos

A woman zipping up her lips.

There are times to speak up, moments when it’s best to say nothing, and opportunities be very considerate in your response. But when you’re on the receiving end of a back-handed compliment, a foolish remark, or a coworker takes you down a peg, and your emotions are up, it can be hard to have a thoughtful response. Often, we say something we shouldn’t.

How is it that some folks fly off the handle and say things they’ll later regret, while others can stay calm and remove themselves from the situation or take the high ground? One way to be less impulsive with your words is to use the “name it to tame it” neuroscience hack, originally coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel. When used properly, it allows you to step back from the moment and choose the best response in a challenging situation.

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A man saying "be quiet."via Canva/Photos

How to use the ‘name it to tame it’ hack

When someone upsets you, the first thing to do is to go inside yourself and describe the emotion that you feel in your body. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you afraid? Do you feel rejected? Are you disappointed? The moment you name the emotion, it will begin to subside and give you the emotional and mental room to respond to the person who caused the negative emotion, rather than impulsively reacting.

How to respond to a reactive emotion so you don’t fly off the handle:

Event happens:

1. Your body stiffens up

2. You feel an intense emotion

3. You examine the emotion and give it a name: “My body is telling me I am angry.”

4. You should feel the emotion beginning to subside

5. Choose your response instead of being impulsive

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A woman zipping up her mouth.via Canva/Photos

Why does ‘name it to tame it’ work?

“Name it to tame it” works because, when we have a strong emotional reaction, our lizard brain kicks in, and we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The lizard brain is not known for giving thoughtful and strategic responses to challenging situations. When we name the emotion, our prefrontal cortex, or the thinking brain, kicks in. The thinking brain looks at the situation and says, “Alright, we don’t need to run or fight here. It's best to give a strategic response.”

When we tune into the negative emotions by naming them, they relax because they feel heard, like when a child has hurt their knee or a loved one has real concern and you gives them undivided attention. Once the emotions are named, they are tamed. Then, you are more likely to respond to the negative person with grace and speak from the best part of yourself.

Dr. Dan Siegel, who coined the phrase “Name it to tame it,” explains the brain science behind the technique in the video below. He does a great job of explaining how it allows us to transfer our thoughts from the downstairs brain (the lizard brain) to the upstairs brain (the thinking brain), so we can calm down and respond appropriately to the situation.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Learning

Professional speaker explains how voice messages can improve public speaking skills

Hit record and listen to yourself.

public speaking tips, speech therapy, communications expert, public relations, communication
Photo credit: Canva

Hit record, listen back, and learn.

Many people are looking to improve their public speaking skills, whether for work or to feel more comfortable in social situations. While taking classes and getting advice from speech coaches can help, some people have difficulty finding either the money or the time to access professional help. But one speech expert believes you can significantly improve your verbal communication skills just by using your phone.

In a YouTube video, communication professional and speaker Vinh Giang offers a daily exercise that can help improve public speaking: sending voice messages instead of texts. Giang notes that one benefit of texting is being able to review a message before sending it to fix potential communication issues or miscues—and argues that you can do the same with voice messages.

- YouTube youtu.be

Recording a voice message lets you hear yourself in a low-stakes situation, with the option to re-record again and again if necessary. Each time you listen back, you can pick up on your volume, speed, clarity, and word choice and be more mindful in the next one. You'll be able to see (well, technically hear) where you're lacking and what to improve, whether that means fixing an issue right away or identifying exactly what you need to work on in your speech.

Speech professionals agree voice notes help improve speaking abilities

Other professionals in public speaking and speech therapy spoke to Upworthy about voice messages and how they can help people improve their speaking skills.

- YouTube youtube.com

"In the speech therapy world, the process of using voice messaging to improve public speaking would be considered a method called self-monitoring through biofeedback," said speech pathology expert Ryann Sutera. "Rehearsing running speech through the use of recordings can help assess intelligibility, rate of speech, and word choice."

"Using voice memos as a low-stakes tactic to improve communication and public speaking skills is something we find helps prep our clients for media opportunities," said public relations director Lauren Guess. "Most of our clients are on the go, and sending a voice memo back in response to the reporter's question is a great practice for creating usable, digestible sound bites."

@nomnomjenny

My voice notes are a work of art #voicenote #texting #texters #voicenotes

Guess said voice messages not only help communication with media outlets, but also help refine clients' public speaking skills and sharpen their talking points.

"We prefer this approach because we find it quickly strengthens confidence in speaking on their subject matter and enhances their ability to nail their key messages, compared to submitting quotes via email or text," Guess said.

Whether you want to improve your public speaking for professional reasons, like giving a presentation at work or running for political office, or to get better at conversations and connecting with friends, it might be worth recording a voice note instead of talking through your fingertips.

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Mental Health

Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list
Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Florida man finds genius way to prevent family from hearing his bathroom 'noises'

"Well, that's using your noodle."

happy man, toilet, bathroom, man on toilet, smiling man, plumbing
via Canva/Photos

A happy man on the toilet.

Nobody wants to hear anyone using the restroom. Still, sometimes, if you live or work in close quarters, it can be hard to go discreetly without anyone hearing the splashing, grunting, toilet paper ripping, and flushing that goes on while you're on the throne. Some try to hide the noises with strategic flushing, while others let the tap run—but that can be a big waste of water.

A Florida father found a way to put a silencer on his bathroom door by strategically adding a pool noodle to the bottom, and people are applauding his ingenuity. He sliced the noodle down the center and affixed it to the bottom of the door so no sound could escape. It probably helps keep the smells out as well.

Brilliant dad soundproofs his bathroom

A picture of the invention was shared by one of his children on Reddit. "Florida man adds pool noodle feature to a bathroom door *for 'noises,'*" they captioned the image.

"Well, that's using your noodle," one commenter wrote.

The man's brilliant solution to a problem that affects all of humanity inspired others on Reddit to share their favorite pool noodle hacks. Here are some of the best:

1. Keep toys from going under the couch

"We use pool noodles under the edges of the couch and table so toys don't get knocked underneath them. The dogs appreciate it more than our son does."

"We had to trim a little off the noodle for the couch because it sat lower, but we used whole noodles for the coffee table. The important part is that it's a tight enough fit to wedge into place."

"This will be huge for the dogs, cats, kids, and Roomba."

2. Keep your records in place

"I use a piece of noodle at the back of my IKEA KALLAX shelving to keep vinyl records from sliding too far back and stay evenly faced up front. If you want black instead of colorful, use pipe insulation—it's basically the same though not as cheap."

3. Stop drafts

"I use mine wrapped with T-shirts to block the draft under my front door. I love how you can cut it to fit perfectly to fit the doorframe."

@ireoluwa_cooking_

🚪Use a pool noodle to prevent door slams! #dad #parenting #toddler #hometips #baby

4. Perfect cat door jam

"I use a piece of one on top of my bedroom door to keep it open just a little bit so the cat can get out, otherwise the air pressure tends to push it shut."

5. Protect your noggin with a noodle

"Slit a pool noodle and wrapped it the length of a shelf’s edge in my pool cabana. I no longer crack my forehead on the sharp edge when I lean in to crank the pool filter setting."

pool noddles, pool aerobics, pool activities, swim instructor, pool work out A woman leading a pool aerobics class. via Canva/Photos

The Florida father who used a pool noodle to prevent unwanted sounds—and probably scents—from escaping his bathroom is further proof that the pool noodle has an incredible number of uses. It's fair to say pool noodles have now joined the ranks of zip ties, Pedialyte, and binder clips as accidental multipurpose objects that can really get you out of a jam (or fill a door jam) when you need help around the house.

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A 'social experiment' lets people from Texas and San Francisco randomly connect on a payphone

"People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff."

Matter Neuroscience, payphone experiment, Texas, California, Abilene, San Francisco, humanity
Photo Credit: Canva, Matter Neuroscience, Instagram

Two payphones set up in Abilene, Texas and San Francisco, California let complete strangers chat.

Imagine you're walking by a payphone in Abilene, Texas, when it unexpectedly rings. You pick up, only to hear that a total stranger over 1500 miles away in San Francisco is on the other end of the line. Do you argue, as so many social media algorithms would have people do? Or do you dig into your primal human instinct, the one that makes evolution possible, and find yourself connecting?

The biotech company Matter Neuroscience had this thought. What if they chose one of the most conservative and most liberal cities in the U.S. and installed free payphone-looking devices in each one? The idea is to bridge the gap between the great divide many are currently experiencing. Whether due to politics, religion, or different lifestyles, many are seemingly forgetting that we're all just human beings searching for contentment.

On their Instagram page, Matter Neuroscience (@Matterneuroscience) explains that it's about people connecting from all walks of life. "The goal of this project is to create space for friendly, human-to-human conversations. We believe that a few different opinions (even on important political topics) should not block us from having a truly positive, maybe even fun conversation with other humans."

How it works

As explained on the initial Instagram Reel, "When one phone is picked up, it automatically calls the other." In a video, we see one of the Matter Neuroscience teammates, Logan Ivey, setting up an old payphone that was bought on Facebook Marketplace for $300.00. Ivey jimmies it open to put a modem inside, with a Verizon SIM card inserted. In essence, it's a cell phone inside of a payphone.

On the side, the words "The Party Line" are painted to entice people walking by to give it a shot. At the top of the "payphone" in San Francisco, they've written "Call a Republican." (In Texas, it says "Call a Democrat.") There's an extra plaque at the top that says, "This payphone is a social experiment. Right now you're in San Francisco, the most liberal city in America. When you pick up this phone, it will automatically connect you to another payphone in Abilene, Texas, the most conservative city in America."

They continue their mission statement, writing, "The goal for this project is to have people from different places have meaningful conversations. Because hostile political discourse increases our brain's cortisol levels and suppresses our happiness. But positive conversations do the opposite. We are recording the conversations so that we can highlight positive ones on our social media account, though any personal names shared will be bleeped out, as we treasure your anonymity. Have fun and enjoy!"

The results

People are already taking the "have fun" part to heart. In one conversation, the phone rings in Texas and a young woman answers. After some giggly pleasantries, they each establish the cities they're in and the current weather. The adorably pure laughter continues as they realize what a cool thing they're taking part in. The Texan shares, "I've been to San Francisco before. You have those cool little streets and stuff."

The Californian is, unfortunately, late for a meeting, but noted, "I was like I had to pick up." The Texan is glad she did, gushing, "Oh my goodness. We picked up at the same time. I'll probably never see you again. But Jesus loves you and I hope you have a good life."

The Californian agrees. "Oh yeah, you too. Sending you all the best. All the blessings."

Another conversation has a Texas woman and a California guy connecting nearly immediately. He admits, "I was running down the street and I heard the phone ring. Wait a second, I know that phone!"

They laugh and once again pleasantly discuss the weather. He then asks, "What else do you want to talk about?"

She answers honestly, saying, "I don't know! We just wanted to call and make some friends." He replies, "Oh fantastic! Well, I'm going to meet a bunch of friends out. We're a group called Moto Chug. It's not really a group, but it's the group text name. And we're all friends who ride motorcycles together." He tells her a bit about their group, to which she replies in earnest, "You are so cool. I hope that you know that. And I hope that you go and tell your friends that this random college kid from Abilene, Texas thinks that you guys are so cool."

He sweetly responds, "Awww, awesome! Right on! Well, it's great to talk to Texas, man. Hang in there. I've got good family in Texas and they're all great people. Hella love going from San Francisco to Abilene, Texas right now."

They then exchange names before he tells her, "We need to make more connections to make this a better place."

The comment section is delighted. One writes, "I'm grinning from ear to ear — just pure joy on what's going on here! Can't wait for the next call."

Another adds, in part, "The type of discourse we really need in this country."

Matter Neuroscience and their mission

Matter Neuroscience has been searching for the definitive formula for happiness since they were founded in 2019. Alongside the Happiness Research Institute, Maastricht University, and the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, they (according to their website) sought "to find a universal biomarker for happiness to guide all of us to long, happier, healthier lives." But what they've found is that the answer is far more complex than some doctors or even philosophers might suggest.

Upworthy had the chance to chat with Ben Goldhirsh, who co-founded Matter Neuroscience, alongside neuroscientist Axel Bouchon. (Small world! Goldhirsh incidentally was also one of the co-founders of GOOD Worldwide, the umbrella company of Upworthy.) He explained that in all of his research, he has found that if people only understood how the brain worked, it could make a real difference. "It's interesting how culture sort of focuses you on certain areas. The reality is that your biology requires this rainbow of activity."

He also notes that everyone should benefit from happiness research, not just depression and anxiety patients. Their team decided, "We should create something that is useful to everyone. So, we basically opened up the 'Emotional Fitness Club' (an app.) Everyone should understand the science of happiness. We all have this incredible organ, and we're trying every day to teach people about this stuff."

The payphone experiment wanted to test how people, when stripped to just two voices across the country, would react to one another. "One of the topics that a lot of people in our community were talking about is how stressful things feel right now. And so cortisol is this fascinating and super valuable chemical in the brain that is popped out when we experience conflict or a fight-or-flight response."

The question posed was: "Are we in a state of fight or flight actually? Or are we actually just misconstruing things and feeling like we're in conflict? If we put a phone booth in the most liberal city and the most conservative city based on voting blocks, will people choose conflict? Because in a way, that's what the media would make you think people would choose. Or will people choose to connect and find common ground, which releases all these positive emotions, or chemicals, in the brain? Will they choose cortisol and conflict? Or will people choose cannabinoids and finding common ground?"

Turns out, at least so far, that 100 percent of the people in these conversations have chosen common ground. "I get to listen to all of this. It's this amazing break from the funny mirror that we're constantly looking in."

Additionally, Goldhirsh shares that people are just looking to connect. "People don't want to be seen as stereotypes. People look to connect on human stuff. Like 'Oh, I'm on a date.' Or 'Gosh, this sandwich is so expensive.' Humans are awesome, and if given the chance to connect, it brings out our humanity. And it's really nice to see how we biologically evolved to connect with each other directly. And when we have those opportunities, it turns out the best parts of us."

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