“How on earth can one person do it all?” This is a question so many mothers ask themselves. Especially after giving birth, when life seems to expect them to take care of their newborn, get their body back, return to work and keep a clean house all at the same time.
It’s a question that had completely overwhelmed Monica Murphy, only one month into welcoming her third child, while still recovering from a C-section and taking care of her other children, who were also nursing, according to Today.com. Luckily for Murphy, her mom had the perfect piece of advice to ease her troubled mind. And luckily for us, it was all caught on the family’s doorbell cam.
In a now-viral Instagram post, Murphy wrote her formidable to-do list, which included:
Working
Staying present on social media
Maintaining a clean home
Tandem breastfeeding
Being present with my kids
Eating a nutritious diet
Making time for my husband
Keeping in touch with friends
Making time for myself
Planning activities for kids
Frick decorate for Christmas
Followed by that burning question: “How on earth can one person do it all?”
Of course, Murphy hadn’t expressed any of these stresses to her mom, who had been visiting. But still, her mom knew something heavily weighed on her daughter’s mind.
So, as she was walking out, Murphy’s mom left her with these words of wisdom:
“They aren’t gonna remember a clean house, they are gonna remember how much you loved them and hung out with them.”
Murphy told Today.com that she “broke down” crying after her mom had left, and was instantly inspired to share the video for other moms who needed similar encouragement.
Indeed, the message struck an emotional chord with thousands of viewers.
“The way I would’ve just bawled if she said that to me,” one person commented.
Another added, “I needed to hear this today.”
Some shared how it was a sentiment they sadly would never hear from their own mothers, and how they are now re-parenting themselves.
“My mom would just nag I’m lazy and how am I supposed to leave my house a mess. So I’m just easing my anxiety with gentle words from other people’s mothers. As I’ve been doing my whole life. Clean house was above happy children,” one person wrote.
It can be so easy for moms to lose themselves in the never ending cycle of responsibilities and, frankly, unrealistic societal expectations. But hopefully this sweet message can help moms everywhere go a bit easier on themselves, and actually enjoy the time they have with their kids. That’s part of what family is all about, after all.
From Pakistan to Tanzania, the most effective education solutions are community-led. Here’s how local leaders, in partnership with Malala Fund and supported by Pura, are mobilizing entire communities.
When asked to describe what Tanzania smells like, Grace Isekore closes her eyes and breathes in deep. For a moment, she’s somewhere else entirely. Tanzania is a rich tapestry of sights and scents, from the smell of sea mist that permeates the coastline to the earthy cardamom and cloves she cooks with in her kitchen. But when Grace emerges from her reverie, her answer is unexpected.
“Tanzania smells like peace,” she says, her eyes still closed. “I see a beautiful country where we are free to move, free to speak. And there is peace within the community.”
For Grace, that sense of peace isn’t just something she smells; it’s something she works toward every day. As a project coordinator with Pastoral Women’s Council (PWC), a women-led organization that empowers pastoralist communities in northern Tanzania, she has seen firsthand how girls flourish when they have the opportunity to attend school. Like scent, education not only connects girls to their own culture, but also helps broaden their horizons, realizing new possibilities for themselves and others. That transformation reshapes entire communities and ripples outward, with the potential to change countries and transform the world for the better.
Different scents, different approaches, and communities driving change
Spices in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
For Grace and others around the world, education is freedom, as well as a pathway to a stronger community. Rooted in that shared belief, Pura, a home fragrance company, was inspired to build on their four-year partnership with Malala Fund to create something truly unique: a fragrance collection that connects people through scent to communities in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil, where barriers to girls’ education are among the highest.
Using ingredients from each region, the new Pura x Malala Fund Collection uses scent to transport people to these regions directly. “Future in Bloom,” for example, invokes Pakistan’s lush valleys through notes of jasmine, cedarwood, and mango; while Tanzania’s fragrance, “Heart on Fire,” evokes the spirit and joyfulness of the girls who live there through cardamom, lemon, and green tea.
The new Collection honors the work Malala Fund does every day, partnering with locally-led organizations in these four countries to ensure every girl can access and complete 12 years of education. Each scent celebrates the joy, tenacity, and courage of the women and girls driving change on the ground, while also augmenting Pura’s annual grant to Malala Fund by donating eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection to Malala Fund directly.
Just as each country’s scent is unique, so too are their needs related to education. But with support from Malala Fund and Pura, local leaders are coming up with creative ways to mobilize entire communities (parents, teachers, elders, and the students themselves, in their pursuit of solutions, understanding that educating girls helps everyone thrive. Here’s how their efforts are creating real, durable impact in Tanzania and Pakistan, and creating a ripple effect that changes the world for the better.
Parent-teacher associations help Maasai girls and their communities in Tanzania problem-solve
A girl’s school in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Northern Tanzania, Grace’s home, is home to pastoralist communities like the Maasai, a nomadic people who have moved with the seasons to nurture the land and care for their livestock for centuries. The nomadic nature of this lifestyle creates significant and unique barriers to girls’ education. Longstanding gender roles have enabled Maasai to survive in the harsh environment and have placed great value on both women and men. Over time, as nomadic life has been threatened by the privatization of land and stationary education models have been implemented, the reality of pastoralist livelihood has shifted and introduced new complexities. Now, the sheer distance to schools is both a practical challenge and one that often comes with danger from the landscape, predators, and potential exposure to assault along the journey. Girls shoulder the responsibility of household chores and there is often cultural pressure around early marriage – both leading to boys’ education being prioritized over girls’.
“There are very, very good [pastoralist] cultural practices, which are passed from generation to generation,” says Janet Kimori, an English teacher at Lekule Girls Secondary School in Longido, Tanzania. But when cultural practices act as educational barriers, “you have to sit down and look for where you are going to assist. As a school, as an individual, the school administration—all of us will chip in and know how we are going to deal with this problem.”
PWC works to ensure girls are able to exercise their right to an education while also preserving pastoralist culture. One successful approach, the organization found, has been the formation of Parent Teacher Associations (PTAs), created with help from Malala Fund. In PTA meetings, students, parents, teachers, elders, and government officials meet, discuss educational barriers, and come up with community-led solutions that preserve and honor their culture while advancing educational outcomes.
PTA meeting in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
One recent PTA meeting highlights how these community-led solutions are often the most effective. At Lekule Girls Secondary School, the lack of fresh water forces girls to walk long distances to collect water for the school’s kitchen during the school day, and these long journeys not only disrupt class time but can leave girls vulnerable to sexual assault in isolated areas. Through facilitated discussion, PTA members landed on a solution: installing a borehole to pipe in fresh water to the school. Reliable access to water creates a better learning environment for the girls, but it also benefits the community at large, as local governments are then more likely to invest in health clinics and other community resources nearby.
With a solution in place, the PTA was then able to discuss ideas and map out a course of action. The women would raise money for the cost of the borehole, while the men would recruit workers to dig the hole and lay the pipe. Together, they would ask government officials to match their investment.
The benefits of PTA meetings within the pastoralist communities are undeniable. “The girls are talking and addressing issues in a confident way, and parents feel they are part of the resource team to solve challenges happening at school,” Grace says. One unexpected benefit: The larger cultural impact these PTA meetings have created. Thanks to the success of PTAs within pastoralist communities, the models are now being endorsed on a national level, and schools across Tanzania are starting to use them to solve problems in their own communities. When a community creates opportunities for girls to learn, everyone benefits.
Safe spaces in rural Pakistan help students and their parents connect, then drive change
Safe space for girls meeting in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
A continent away in Pakistan, the country’s northernmost region of Gilgit-Baltistan seems like a land untouched by time. The region’s looming mountains, snow-capped peaks, lush valleys and crystalline lakes draw nature lovers and landscape photographers from around the world, but living among this kind of breathtaking scenery has its drawbacks. Schools in the region are few and far between, and the area’s harsh climate often makes roads inaccessible for travel. Poverty and gender-based discrimination are additional obstacles, making school even further out of reach, and girls are affected disproportionately. Going up against these barriers requires a persistent, quiet strength that’s found in the women who live there and reflected in Pakistan’s signature scent.
Saheli Circles are how local leaders in Gilgit-Baltistan are bridging the gap between girls and education. An Urdu term for “female friend,” Saheli Circles are after-school safe spaces where girls explore subjects like art and climate change, while also developing skills that help them manage emotions, set goals, and build positive relationships. Girls study in groups, visit the library, play sports, and tackle filmmaking and photography projects, all designed to develop self confidence and teach the girls how to advocate for issues that matter to them. But the work doesn’t stop there.
“What we’re trying to achieve here will only be impactful if it trickles down to the home environment and the school environment,” says Marvi Sumro, founder and program director of Innovate, Educate, and Inspire Pakistan (IEI), the local organization that developed the Saheli Circles model and partnered with Malala Fund in 2021 to make it a reality. Ever since, Saheli Circles have grown to involve teachers, elders, and parents to encourage relationship building that’s essential for young girls and adolescents. “Our spaces can give mothers and daughters an opportunity to interact a little differently—do an art activity, or have a cup of tea together, or some good conversation,” Marvi says.
The relationship building is what makes the biggest positive impact throughout the community. Recently, one Saheli Circle was able to bring together parents, teachers, and administrators to advocate for better education at their local school, and together they convinced the department of education to hire a science teacher. Another Saheli Circle organized a fund where members of the community can contribute monthly to pay for uniforms, books, and other school expenses for the girls in their village, eliminating those small, hidden costs that are often a barrier to education for many. A third Saheli Circle was able to produce a short film about how gender-based household chores can take away valuable study time from girls, leaving them at a disadvantage. “The girls put the film together and showed it to the mothers, and the response from the mothers was just beautiful,” Marvi says.
Girls smiling in Pakistan. Captured by Insiya Syed.
The education and relationship building that the girls receive in Saheli Circles connects them to larger opportunities and economic freedom that are not possible in their hometown. “For girls in Gilgit-Baltistan, education is extremely important because of the fact that we’re so far away from where the economy is, where the opportunity is. Education becomes this bridge for us, for our girls, to access all the opportunity and economy that exists in [larger cities].”
From rural Tanzania to remote Pakistan, local organizations prove every day that prioritizing girls’ education benefits everyone. Communities that lift up girls are able to secure resources like clean water and well-staffed schools, as well as build stronger relationships.
These outcomes are only possible because of the women and girls who work tirelessly in these regions to overcome barriers and drive progress. The Pura x Malala Fund Collection is a way to honor them, celebrate their achievements, and unite people the world over around a shared belief that education is freedom. Like scent, that belief can build, travel, and has the possibility to transform the world.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.
However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.
“Okay, so, here’s the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don’t you come visit us?’ But let’s be honest, Grandma’s house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it’s time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”
So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.
“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.
Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.
The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle.”
Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it’s about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
TikTok user alexxx1915 recently posted a short video with the caption: “I just learned the term ‘living room family’ and I never understood why my kids never played in their rooms when I always did as a kid.” She briefly shows her kids hanging out in the living room with their pet dog and some toys scattered around the floor, before panning to her own face and giving a sort of sentimental look. The simple, ten-second clip struck a huge nerve with parents, racking up over 25 million views and thousands of heartfelt comments.
What are ‘living room families’ and ‘bedroom families’?
This idea has been going around for a while on social media.
Simply put, a living room family is a family that congregates in the living room, or any common space in the household. Kids play in the same space where the adults relax and things are often messy, as a result. Everyone interacts with each other and spends lots of time together. Bedrooms are reserved mostly for sleeping and dressing.
A bedroom family, on the other hand, is where the kids spend more time in their rooms. They play there, watch TV, and maybe even eat meals. Typically, the main rooms of the house are kept neat and tidy. You won’t find a lot of toys scattered about, and family time spent together is more structured and planned ahead rather than casual.
A living room family is more communal
A family congregates in their living room. Canva Photos
In my household, we’re definitely a living room family. We’re around each other constantly, and the house is often a mess because of it. Learning about this term makes me feel a little better that my kids want to be around us and feel comfortable enough to get their ‘play mess’ all over the living room. The mess is a sign of the love and comfort we all share together.
There’s so much that’s great about having a family that lives out in the open, especially if you were raised feeling like you had to hide in your room.
“I thought my kids hated their rooms turns out they like me more” said another. “You broke a generational curse. Good job mama!” said yet another.
The implication of being a bedroom family, or having ‘room kids’, is that perhaps they don’t feel safe or comfortable or even allowed to take up room in the rest of the house, or to be around the adults. “I remember my brother coming round once and he just sat in silence while watching my kids play in the living room. After a while he looked at me and said ‘It’s so nice that your kids want to be around you’” one commenter said on alexxx1915’s video.
A bedroom family enjoys some alone time
A boy in his bedroom playing a guitar. Canva Photos
Being a bedroom family is by no means a bad thing. In fact, alone time is important for parents and kids alike, and everyone needs different amounts of it to thrive. Kids with certain special needs, like being on the autism spectrum, may be absolutely thrilled to spend lots of time in their rooms, for example.
But it really doesn’t have to be one or the other, and neither is necessarily better. Making your kids feel relegated to their room is, obviously, not great. It’s not a good thing if they feel like they’re not allowed to exist in and play in the rest of the house. But if they just like hanging out in their room? Nothing wrong with that at all. And same goes for parents.
In 2023, there was a similar debate on TikTok where parents sounded off on whether they were bedroom parents or living room parents. In this situation, the parents spent the majority of the time in their bedroom, while the kids were in the living room, or they spend time in the living room with their kids. According to Marissa Kile, the video’s creator, this made the parents’ bedroom feel like a “scared space” where the kids didn’t feel comfortable.
Of course, every household is different and the right answer is the one that works for them. And if you feel like living on the edge, you can always just be both.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.
Even for the parents who prioritize showing up for their kids, missing a child’s event now and then might be unavoidable. But certain occasions are more painful than others when a parent can’t show up, and fatherless father-daughter dances undoubtedly fall into this category.
In June 2024, a work commitment kept Harper’s dad from attending her dance studio’s annual summer showcase, which meant the six-year-old was at risk of missing out on the father-daughter dance entirely.
An act of brotherly love
Thankfully, her brother Micah, who was 14 at the time, is the coolest brother in the world and stepped up to take her dad’s place so she wouldn’t miss out.
In a mega-viral video posted to Instagram by Harper and Micah’s mom, Patrice Thompson, we see the duo having a blast as they twirl in circles, fist bump, and end with an adorable lift for their “Barbie and Ken” themed routine.
“Core memory for the team today,” Thompson wrote in the caption. “I don’t know if he knows what an impact he’s making as her big brother, but she’ll never forget this.”
Micah didn’t just have an impact on Harper. So many people left comments sharing how impressed and moved they were by his kindness.
“In a world of boys he is a gentleman,” one person wrote, referencing a Taylor Swift lyric.
Another offered a touching truth, writing, “As a man whose dad walked away from me, this makes me so emotional. You are raising your son to be the cycle breaker. He won’t end up repeating cycles of toxic masculinity like so many of the men we see today. He will be a better man. And his little sister will grow up knowing what a real man should be like, because she has her big brother to show her.”
One comment commended Micah for stepping out of his comfort zone, saying, “Bless his sweet heart. I know how big that is for a 14 year old to put himself out there. Major props!”
“Watching him lift her up at the end got me i can’t lie i teared up ” another shared.
“As a girl who had my older brother participate in my “father-daughter” dances for drill team in high school, this made me soo emotional! this is a special moment they will remember forever,” reminisced another.
And perhaps the best (and truest) comment of them all, was this one: “Does your son know he’s a legend?”
Good Morning America sure does.
Mom is proud but not surprised
In an interview with Newsweek, Thompson shared that while she is “so proud” of her son, especially since most boys his age “would rather do anything else than perform a routine in front of their peers and during summer when he could be off with friends.” However, she is “not super surprised” by what he did. “That’s the young man he is!” she exclaimed, adding “he truly understands the meaning of being selfless.”
Here’s the family all together: Mom, Dad, Micah, Harper, and the newest addition born earlier this year, baby Christian. Hopefully the new baby boy knows he won the sibling lottery.
To all the brothers who would show up for their siblings in this way – thank you. Your generosity and compassion really do help make the world a better place, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
Even for those who enjoy the thrill of making vacation itineraries…it’s work. And obviously when the planning has to be done for an entire family, there’s even more effort needed to be put in. Imagine going through all the rigamarole of booking flights, hotels, rental cars, restaurant reservations, entertainment venues, last minute store runs for toiletries…without getting so much as a “thank you.”
Odds are you’d be a little miffed, even if planning is your thing. This was the scenario that a mom Alexis Scott found herself in after planning a summer vacation for her husband and two teen children. Thankfully, the now-viral TikTok post venting her frustrations inspired several folks to give her some much deserved support.
In the video, Scott began, “I’m on a family vacation right now with my two teenagers and my husband. We flew in late last night. We think we got in at like 12:15 a.m. and headed to get a rental car and then got to our Airbnb. And I am frustrated.”
Scott had tried and tried to get any input from her family about what they might want to do, and each time got the same reply: “‘Whatever you want, mom. I don’t care. Okay. I don’t care.’”
“Great. Glad I’m planning this vacation for everybody to not care,” Scott lamented.
Still, she did the planning because someone had to do it. But as soon as the vacation started, all her decisions were met with complaints. From being called “cheap” for getting too small of an SUV rental car to being told “Mom is never going to be in charge of booking the Airbnb again. She can’t even this, that and the other,’” after the family found out their AirBnb was three stories with quite a few stairs.
“Then this morning, we wake up and it’s an urban setting. We live in a very quiet suburban setting and my husband’s saying how he barely slept and this and that. And I’m just like, enough!” she said.
All of this happened within the first 24 hours of the trip. It’s easy to see why Scott needed to vent.
Her video concluded with:
I have been the only one to put in all the effort in planning this trip. And I know there’s videos on mental load, but this is prime time example of me. I’m shouldering the mental load for my entire family and everybody has something to say about it. So, yeah, I’m frustrated. Please pray for me that we can all turn our attitudes around and have a great day.”
A family enjoying a vacation together. Photo Credit: Canva
The internet had her back immediately
Down in the comments, viewers could totally empathize with Scott for feeling burnt out and disappointed.
“Oh gosh the mental load of planning every detail and then knowing if something goes wrong or isn’t perfect it’s all on you. Been there,” one person shared.
Another added, “I tell my husband that I haven’t been on vacation since I was a child and he’s alway confused bc to him, ‘we’ go on vacation every year. Only other moms would understand what I mean.”
Many suggested that she do something for herself instead.
“Just Irish goodbye one morning, go to brunch alone, hit the spa or a pool and come home after dinner,” one person wrote.
“Go and do whatever you want to do!! Spa day sounds perfect and take yourself out for fabulous meals!!” echoed another.
On a positive note: this story does have a happy ending. In a follow-up video, Scott shared how she showed her family the TikTok video she made, and it did turn things around.
“We have actually had a really, really great day today,” she said. “Everyone has had positive attitudes. I’ve heard a lot of thank you’s and my kids have been buying their little side purchases with their own money and not even asking me to pay for it… but they have been really self-sufficient in that space.”
All in all, Scott recognizes that her family is “human,” and a big part of being human is apologizing when a mistake is made and moving forward.
“We love each other. This was a learning experience.”
How to make family vacation planning actually work
The thing is, when families do the travel planning together, it often ends up being a more rewarding experience for everyone. There are lots of ways to go about it, like watching movies featuring the upcoming locale, having every family member choose one activity, selecting lodging as a group, voting from a handful of selected excursions, etc.
Of course, this requires willing participation for every family member, which is what Scott (like many other moms) certainly did not have. But hopefully other moms facing this same laissez-faireness can whip up this video to inspire some gumption into their vacation companions.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.
When Schauna Austin was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption.
She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family. So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.
“It was perfect,” Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. “I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn’t sleep for three days.” It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.
The beginning of an unlikely journey
Riley was placed with Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger through a closed adoption, and they decided to rename him Steven.
In a closed adoption, the birth mother, Austin, would not receive any information about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents. Usually, the birth parents have a good deal of input over whether they prefer to have regular contact or not with the adoptive family.
However, about a week later, the Schoebingers made a major decision.
The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. They wanted to officially open the closed adoption.
You can imagine that it’s a big and potentially risky decision for adoptive parents to bring in a birth parent. It could complicate things, stir up difficult feelings, or even bring conflict into their lives. But the Schoebingers weren’t worried about any of that.
“It was like, ‘OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,’” Jennifer told CBS News.
“You know, you can’t have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn’t he be both of ours?” Chris added.
A life documented in books and photos
Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven’s journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.
The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and his biological mother taught him to fish. The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. “I was blessed beyond words,” Austin said. “I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure,” Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents. It’s considered the standard these days unless there are specific reasons why it’s in the best interest of the child to have the adoption be closed.
Steven is now 28 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named…wait for it…Riley. Austin, herself, is now a grandmother.
He’s heeere!!! ? Our first grandchild. Welcome, Riley. You don’t know me yet, but our home will always be your home. No matter what life throws your way, you will be loved and accepted and we’ll eat pie! And ice cream. And you’ll wonder if that’s the only thing grandpa eats? ? pic.twitter.com/7ac8A0GVKI
The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support.
It’s Father’s Day. And as a father, I’m excited for my son to soon be a new father. Still strange to think I’ll be a grandfather. But I’m really looking forward to it. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/0RZlD8cwP7
People on social media were incredibly moved by the story. Dozens of commenters chimed in on YouTube to express their gratitude for the families involved:
“Steven’s adoptive parents are WONDERFUL! They weren’t selfish, and did what was best for STEVEN, His dad said it best—–the more love a child has, the better. His bio mom lucked out with this special couple as well, especially when they sent her the books each year! This story was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!” one user wrote.
“Speaks volumes of his adoptive parents and also the love of his natural mother to make the hardest decision on earth,” another said.
“Thank you for including the birth mom in the raising of your son. I’m adopted and it was a closed one. the struggle of not knowing your birth parents is real. I just spent my first Christmas in 56 years with my Ukrainian birth family. Full circle family is love. Oh what a ride!” someone added.
Ultimately, Chris Schoebinger, the adoptive dad, said it best:
“I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don’t need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side,” Chris said.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
Parents might have noticed their teens feasting on a plain bowl of meat and rice. The ‘boy kibble’ craze started as a simple joke to get likes on social media. Kids are now consuming the same meal every day, no complaints.
Parents can spend years of time and energy attempting to fix how their kids eat. But this viral trend offers an opportunity to embrace a different strategy: work with what they already want to do and make it healthier.
The trending three-meals-a-day, seven-days-a-week meal plan is one simple dish on repeat. A bowl consisting of meat, usually beef, for the high iron and protein, and rice. That’s it.
Teens like it so much because it’s straightforward, easy to prepare, and removes some of the obstacles to healthy eating. It can take a lot of time to learn how to make a tasty, healthy meal.
Healthline reported that the trend is inexpensive and offers young men interested in muscle building a basic high-protein meal. Nutrition experts agree that the dish provides important nutrients. However, without modification, it has nutritional gaps. Even eating very healthy foods without variety leads to deficiencies.
Dr. Sanjai Thankachen, medical director at New Leaf Detox, explained how some eating habits can be concerning. “If eating patterns become very restrictive or tied to body image concerns, it may signal disordered eating, which is an unhealthy relationship with food and weight.”
However, Thankachen does recognize the value and draw for teens, “Trends like ‘boy kibble’ often appeal to teenagers because they simplify decision-making. Fewer choices can reduce stress and make it easier to meet basic nutrition goals, especially protein intake. That part can be useful.”
The simple truth is that ‘boy kibble’ is much healthier than typical teen diets. Avoiding highly processed foods, sodas, fast food, and sugary snacks and replacing them with more protein and consistency is a positive step in the right direction.
The Society of Behavioral Medicine suggests consistency beats chaos trends like skipping meals or binging junk food. Regular eating patterns offer better energy, nutrition, and brain function, especially in teens.
There is a real, hidden parenting upside to this new eating plan, too. A psychiatrist, Sam Zand, told Upworthy the trend was a strong starting point for modeling healthier eating habits. “One approach is by taking advantage of the ‘trend’ and have your teen continue to use easy and independent meal options, while incorporating more variety and nutritional quality.”
Zand continues, “This will also provide parents the opportunity to model how to have a flexible, unrestricted approach to eating, which can buffer their children from developing a negative self-image and/or problems with physical and/or emotional health at a later age.”
A 2025 study in the National Library of Medicine found adolescence was the critical window during which diet shapes lifelong health outcomes. Parents have a little over a decade to encourage imperfect, but better habits. Basic protein and carbs, not fast food, can have a lasting, long-term impact.
Parents understand that guiding teens in the right direction takes a strategic and patient skill set. A 2024 study in Frontiers found that overcontrolling parents led to worse eating habits. Parents who provide structure and support while allowing some autonomy bring healthier eating habits.
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Teens don’t fail at nutrition because they’re apathetic or don’t care. They struggle because food choices can be overwhelming, and healthy options aren’t the easiest to make. It’s exactly why ‘boy kibble’ is so appealing.
These are some simple suggestions to encourage a step up to the kibble plan:
Stock the freezer with frozen veggies
Buy more healthy sauces instead of sugar-based ones that high in preservatives
Have pre-cut veggies available
Keep a variety of pre-cooked proteins
Store up on microwaveable grain options like Quinoa blends, Couscous, and Farro
Let them keep the ‘boy kibble’ and avoid shaming the repetition
Sometimes these healthy habits don’t start with perfect choices. Workable choices, however, can be easy for parents to get behind. How can you make what they’re already willing to eat a little better?
It’s a challenge every parent faces: striking that precarious balance between providing for their kids while still fostering independence. In today’s world, previous generations‘ struggles are a thing of the past, making that balance even harder to strike.
One parent recently found themselves at a loss with this predicament. They took to Reddit to see if they should “manufacture hardship” for their kids.
In their post, they explained how they and their husband grew up “poor,” but managed to create a “very comfortable upper-middle-class life.”
Because they freelance, they’re able to be a completely “engaged” parent as well—always there for “school pick-ups and getting driven around to extracurriculars.”
And while the OP’s kids don’t act spoiled with material things, they noticeably lack a “capacity for dealing with even slight inconveniences.” From getting picked up five minutes later than their normal time, to minor switches to dinner plans, to non-VIP experiences at theme parks, this parent noted “attitudes” and “unregulated frustrations.”
“If they ever face a college essay question about overcoming adversity, I don’t think they would even be able to answer it,” they wrote.
Why kids today aren’t as resilient
In an article for Psychology Today,Nancy Colier LCSW, Rev. noted the rise of “helicopter parenting” and living life via a curated social media algorithm makes unregulated kids a common dilemma. Both, she argues, are symptoms of a modern culture that “conditions us to believe that life should be how we want it to be, that we shouldn’t have to struggle, and that our children shouldn’t have to, either.”
She goes on to say that “we don’t do our kids any favors” when we erase any trace of character building discomfort, and instead, “we create people who are dissatisfied and unhappy, and ultimately, are unable to deal with real life.”
However, Dr. Kate Renshaw, Director at Play and Filial Therapy, argues that “the real issue isn’t that children’s lives are too easy, it’s that they’re too tightly managed.” Furthermore, she tells Upworthy that “manufacturing hardship” can cause more harm than good.
“Hardship without a consistent trusting relationship is confusing and stressful,” she says. “The neuroscience is clear: a child’s nervous system needs a co-regulatory anchor—a safe adult—to process difficulty in a way that builds resilience rather than artificially add to states of dysregulation.”
This is why she suggests encouraging “unstructured, child-led play” where frustration tolerance can “naturally develop.” This can look like a stuck Play-Doh lid, navigating friendship decisions about gameplay, or outdoor play where the natural elements cannot be controlled by adults.
Suffice it to say, if even experts can’t agree on which approach is best, there isn’t exactly a one-size-fits-all solution. Even in the Reddit comments, some agreed that the parent should introduce some friction, while others said the attitude might go away on its own. So at the very least, maybe parents in this situation can give themselves a little grace.
When Marypat Velasco was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease) near the end of 2024, what she thought would be the golden age of her life quickly took an unexpected turn. The plans she had made for this next phase were abruptly altered, and new plans had to be made.
In the face of such adversity, she and her family created a bucket list. They would stop at nothing to make sure that everything was completed and checked off. But one item was proving a bit more difficult.
One of her daughters, Molly Velasco, took to Threads and tagged the New York Knicks directly:
“@nyknicks: My amazing mother Marypat, nurse of 47 years, my best friend, & everyone’s favorite person just finished her last clinical trial for ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. The last item on her bucket list is to see her favorite team, the New York Knicks, play at @thegarden, but all your accessible tickets are sold out. Is there ANYTHING you can do? Please help me make this happen. I have completed every other item on her bucket list. This is her last item & the last szn she has.”
Director Spike Lee responds to Molly Velasco’s Thread. Photo credit: Threads
Spike Lee entered the chat
As luck would have it, notoriously devoted Knicks fan Spike Lee entered the chat almost immediately. He even signed off on his post as though it were a letter: “DM me. Spike Lee.”
Molly jumped on the offer, replying, “OH MY GOSH! Yes! Just sent you a message!” Lee later followed up, saying he had reached out and was “waiting to hear back.”
Just his appearance in the comment section was enough to get the proverbial ball rolling. Other celebrities, including actress Yvette Nicole Brown, chimed in, tagging New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani and others. The outpouring of love was beautiful. Thousands of comments flowed in, as one might imagine.
One Threader noted the speed at which Lee chimed in: “Can we talk about how FAST Spike Lee responded? All these huge billion-dollar companies and organizations are silent, and this man is on it. Great job. No notes, Spike!”
Raising awareness for ALS
Molly shared additional updates, using them to raise awareness about ALS and highlight the disease’s rapid progression. In one post, she expressed gratitude to the many people who had reached out:
“For those of you who have been touched by ALS, my heart breaks for you. It is truly the cruelest disease. Thank you for sharing and understanding. I look forward to replying to you over the next few days and hearing about the amazing people you love.”
Marypat Velasco with family members. Photo credit: Molly Velasco
Then came the update everyone had been waiting for:
“UPDATE: WE ARE GOING TO NYC BABYYYY!!!! Thriends, WE DID IT!! Thanks to all of you & especially Trish Fuller ✨ (@trishmfuller) ✨, our new friend & fairy godmother from the original post, mere days before the last regular game of the season, THE @nyknicks reached out to us & have generously offered us tix & the opportunity to come watch warm-ups courtside! We will cross off my mom’s last bucket list item: ‘I have always wanted to see my New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden.’ Sunday, Knicks vs. Hornets!!”
Molly Velasco (left) and her mother, Marypat. Photo credit: Molly Velasco
Upworthy reached out to Molly to learn more about the family. As she packed for New York, she took the time not only to answer questions, but also to ask whether ALS had touched my family. That’s the kind of caring advocate she is.
Marypat, the “favorite” Velasco
Upworthy: Tell us anything you’d like to share about your mom.
Molly: “She is the sweetest, funniest most stubborn person you will ever meet. We all say she’s everyone ‘favorite Velasco’ because she is. She is the most incredible friend, nurse, and mom. She loves to read and instilled a love of reading in all of us. She has a green thumb so has a garden every summer and house plants year round. She adopts senior golden retrievers. Her current pup is Javier, a ten year old golden she’s had for 5 years. He’s completely blind and was formally a street dog in Istanbul, Turkey.
Marypat Velasco with her dogs. Photo credit: Molly Velasco
We share a passion for culinary and food. Her favorite song is Ventura Highway by America and she always had music playing in our house growing up. She has always been open hearted and minded. She believes everyone deserves food, safety, medical care and shelter. And has taken in any of my friends who need a family. Definitely a more the merrier person. She says adorable things like ‘holy smokies!’ And ‘wowie zowie’. And…has been a fierce advocate for mental health care.”
Always loved the Knicks
Upworthy: Has she always been a Knicks fan?
Molly: “YES! She is from Hyde Park, NY, and she and her 4 brothers all played basketball. Since she was a little girl, she had a poster of Walt Frazier on her wall. She became a fan watching the Knicks with her dad, my Pop, and her brothers.”
Upworthy: Who ended up hooking you up with the tickets?
Molly: “One of the women who saw my post—Trish—used to work at MSG. She DM’d me and asked for my email and had friends that still worked there. She followed up with them over and over until her friend Tony, who works for the Garden, passed along the message to the Knicks Social Impact team, where a member of their team, Isaiah, emailed me. I sobbed immediately when I read the email!”
The bucket list
Upworthy: What else was on her bucket list?
Molly:
“-See America in Concert
-Pet Harpita (seriously spicy cat)
-Make the kids make each others Xmas gifts for fun
-Eat David’s Halibut from the Cape
-See brothers all together in one place
-Stay in a house that opens up to the beach like a Diane Keaton/Diane Lane movie
-Eat really good New York Rye Bread
-Go back to Hyde Park and see my childhood house my dad built
-Try Korean BBQ
-Eat Crème Brulee for the first time
-See the New York Knick’s Play at Madison Square Garden
The beautiful thing about this so that she traveled with traveling nurse and lived so much her whole life she didn’t have huge things on her bucket list. She had already jumped out of a plane skydiving and got a tattoo at 50, traveled all over the US minus 4 states. She lived her whole life 💛
There are also 3 things she said would be too hard, go to Santa Fe Art galleries, see orcas in the wild, go to the inside passage, and go on safari so she made me promise I would go when she’s gone and that way she can come with me.”
How quickly life changed
Upworthy: How has her diagnosis impacted your family?
Molly: “It turned our life upside down. My mom was set to retire from nursing after an amazing 47 years in May 2025 but was diagnosed the previous December 30, 2024. She was really looking forward to her next chapter—had planned to move closer to my sister, who is in PA, from MA.
Wanted to have a garden and volunteer helping animals and just enjoy her retirement. I was working for a local nonprofit that fights food insecurity in North Central Massachusetts. I had built our youth program from the ground up and recently got some funding to grow my fun farm days, where I bring at-risk youth to historically excluded farmer organic farms, where we help out, do projects, and learn about the food system.
When we got her diagnosis, everything changed. My entire perspective shifted, and my first thought post-shock was we need to go to the beach more. She had been rapidly deteriorating in ability starting the June prior, so we knew this was a possibility. The diagnosis process is truly the beginning of the nightmare. She got her first EMG in September, and then you just have to wait three months to get tested again. All the while, she’s getting worse and worse. It was terrifying. She was getting so weak that I begged them to let her get in earlier because she was getting so much worse we were confident they would see a change.
Marypat Velasco with family. Photo credit: Molly Velasco
By the time you’re diagnosed, you are so behind already on everything. Her ALS started with arm weakness and her core muscles, which means her breathing was impacted really early. She is a stubborn nurse, though, so she kept saying she was totally fine.”
What others should know
Upworthy: What would you want other families who have received this diagnosis to know?
Molly: “Our doctors and team at the Sean Healy ALS Clinic out of Massachusetts General Hospital told us early on that the three things that cause you to progress even quicker are losing weight, falls, and feeling hopeless. So I would say to them, eat what feels good and tastes good. If that’s mashed potatoes and chocolate cake for 12 meals in a row, do that! Lean into what sounds yummy to you. Embrace equipment. It’s so hard because ALS doesn’t give you time to breathe or grieve. The sooner you embrace the tools, the more living you can do. And the hardest one, in my opinion, is trying to find hope with a disease that not only has no cure but also is so scary—you have to find a reason to keep going.”
Finding glimmers of good
Molly: “You have to find some joy in humor in these impossible circumstances. We started searching for glimmers. Some are big, like being able to go to the New York Knicks, but also sometimes it’s just an exceptionally good cup of coffee in the morning.
Or my very grumpy cat, who hates everyone, choosing to lay on my mom, purring so loudly, or right now, as I send this, my mom is sitting outside basking in the sun.
Every night before bed, we say what our glimmers were from that day. It’s helped us focus on not only the big good things but also the small good things, like three amazing songs playing in a row on shuffle or one of our many house plants I’m trying not to kill growing a new leaf. Even in my next chapter, I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life collecting glimmers.
Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day.”
