Mom who wants her boys to pee sitting down makes pro-standing dad clean the bathrooms
"I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee, so he had to deal with the consequences."
Parents argue over bathroom etiquette for boys
There’s a growing trend in some countries where more men are sitting to pee instead of standing up. This trend has caught on most prominently in Germany, where 62% of men now say they sit every time or most of the time.
The reasons for the change in public opinion in Germany are that it’s more hygienic for men to sit because there’s no splash back and it’s much easier to aim. In some places with communal living, standing to pee is greatly discouraged, and it’s now considered rude to stand to pee when visiting a friend’s house.
Things aren’t the same in the USA, where only 23% say they sit most of the time. The stand versus sit debate has caused a problem in a family, so a pro-sitting mom of three took to Reddit’s AITA forum to ensure she wasn’t in the wrong.
“After we potty trained our sons I kept making sure that they were sitting to pee. They are young and don't really care. They can use a urinal when we are out somewhere,” she wrote. “My brother-in-law was over last month and saw my oldest boy in the bathroom by accident. … Anyways my brother-in-law made a joke about my son not stinking up the bathroom. My son told him that he was just peeing. For some reason my BIL took offense at this and started bugging my husband about his sons sitting to pee.”
This is where things get interesting because, in many cultures, it’s seen as effeminate for men to sit and pee, which is probably a big reason why nearly 4 out of 5 men in America prefer to stand.
“My husband then started telling the boys that if they are only peeing that they should stand,” the mom continued. “They boys don't have great aim, but they make up for it with a short attention span. When I went in the bathroom after a few days of that it was gross. I turned around and walked out.”
The mother then told the dad that if the boys were going to stand to pee, then he could take responsibility for cleaning the “toilets, floors and walls” in the bathroom. “I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee, so he had to deal with the consequences,” the mom wrote. “He did it but he is upset about me unilaterally making this decision. Like he did about the boys.”
One can see the dad’s reasoning for having the boys stand to pee. Because if they sit to pee at school, they could deal with bullying from other boys. The mom’s position—that if they’re going to stand instead of sit, she’s not cleaning up the mess—also makes sense.
The commenters on the post overwhelmingly sided with the mother.
“I will never understand why it's socially acceptable for boys and grown-ass men to spray bathrooms like tom cats because they choose to stand to urinate. It's unnecessary and unsanitary. Either aim better, clean up after yourself, or sit," Consistent-Leopard71 wrote.
“All the people with penises can clean up after their penises,” Turkeygreen added.
The consensus among the commentators was that there’s nothing wrong with sitting to pee and it shouldn’t be seen as masculine or feminine. Many folks also thought that if you’re adamant about the kids doing something less hygienic, you should probably clean up after them.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."