Even though America has come a long way in gender relations over the past few decades men are still far behind women when accepting domestic responsibilities.
A recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey found that women aged 15 and over spend 5.7 hours daily on domestic tasks, whereas men spend 3.6 hours, a 37 percent difference. Women with a 35-hour week devote 4.9 hours daily to home chores and child care, compared to men’s 3.8 hours.
In a world where men still trail behind women when it comes to work on the home front, a Texas UPS driver is going viral for a TikTok video where he urges men to reconsider how they think about domestic responsibilities.
In a video with over 6 million views, J.R. Minton proudly says he doesn’t “help” his wife with jobs around the house. “I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” Minton, 32, began his clip.
Warning: Strong language.
So, why does Minton refuse to help his wife?
“Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can’t help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.
He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view their relationship to domestic responsibilities and their wives. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man,” he added.
The video received raves from women in the comments. Sadly, many used the video to share that their husbands have fallen short of Minton’s level of understanding. “My husband sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet,” Human Robot wrote. “I am sending this straight to my man he needs to see this,” JJsMom added.
“Yep! My husband and I recognize it’s BOTH our kids and BOTH our house, therefore BOTH our responsibility,” Sweetheart wrote.
Minton is an equal partner to his wife because he was raised much differently and wants to right the wrongs of his past. “Pretty much everything about my parenting style is in spite of what I saw when I was growing up,” he told Today.com.
Minton knew that his philosophy on marriage was necessary when a woman at Target praised him for doing the “bare minimum.”
“I was wearing the baby, and I had two kids in the cart, and this lady comes up to Brittany, and she’s like, ‘Oh my God. Is this your husband!? Look at him. You should take a picture of him,’” Minton said. “I get so much credit for doing nothing. How low is the bar?”
Minton responded to his viral video with a heartfelt follow-up to everyone who loved how he cared for his wife and family. “I’m truly humbled at how far my message has gone,” he said. “However, I’d like to take a second to say: I am not special. I am no ‘unicorn.’ I am normal.”
“Nothing about my parenting style or my commitment to my wife is unique. Although it may seem out of the ordinary, it is far from extraordinary,” he continued. “Every father and husband we know (that seems to come up short) is fully-capable—yet unwilling.” He added that there was one thing that separates dads who do their part and dads who don’t: “Effort.”
This article originally appeared last year.
