upworthy
Joy

Entering your 30s? Fear not, here are 14 bits of wisdom that are actually useful.

Advice for when you're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

turning 30, advice for 30 year olds

Welcome to the fourth decade.

Turning 30 marks the beginning of pure adulthood. Gone are the days making the same questionable choices from our 20s, and our stupid teenage years are even more a relic of the past. This is the time when Mother Nature says, “I’m not joking around, it’s time to take some things seriously. Like, for real.”

As friend groups shrink and waistlines expand, not to mention as careers or lifestyles go through major changes, the fourth decade can feel a bit overwhelming. Especially as there's still the misconception that somehow, as if by magic, you’ll have everything figured out by that 30th birthday. And if it hasn’t, then it’s too late. Talk about pressure.

In truth, we’re always just figuring things out and we move along. Thirties are no different. But it does help to traverse this new territory with knowledge. Luckily, the internet is a great place to crowdsource that sort of thing.

A Reddit user (perhaps a brave 29-year-old) recently asked the online forum, “What is your advice for somebody entering their 30s?

People gave some amazing answers. Unsurprisingly, health (of all kinds) was a popular topic. But there were also a lot of unexpected gems, particularly when it comes to dealing with the “hard stuff.” Our 30s might be challenging, but with them come their own special rewards.

Check out these 14 bits of wisdom. Even if you’re well into your 30s—or beyond them—they offer some valuable reminders.


1.

Life is not over. Not married yet & want to be??? Still time to find a decent partner, & your experience & maturity can help.” – @Bakanasharkyblahaj

2.

“Friends will make kids and settle down - make sure to visit them and don't shy away from playdates and birthday parties.” – @theteenyemperor

3.

You should have started planning for your 50's about 5 years ago. Get to it. And by planning, I don't mean just retirement. Obviously retirement, but also getting to know yourself and what you want to do with your life. You have to be honest with yourself, find out what ACTUALLY matters for you, and start working towards that. Get rid of the dumb notions you had when you were a teenager. Find your balance between spiritual and material things. Not talking about religion, but social connections, feelings, experiences. Friends and family are important, as is material comfort.” – @robervalladraodeChoc

4.

Don’t worry if you haven’t achieved your life goals or decided what career you want by now, it’ll come soon. I didn’t start Uni (nursing school) until my early 30’s. Spent a few years traveling the world first.” – @I-stop-pucks

5.

Hate to be the one to bring this up, but start mentally preparing for the inevitable major loss events that will soon begin to accumulate in your life. If you don't have a healthy perspective regarding death, start working on that asap. See a therapist if necessary. Losing your parents is the first big one for most.” – @Captainmikkl

6.

If your friend group hasn't already got smaller, be ready for it to. Don't take it personally. Some people just don't have the energy to hang out as much as they used to and others are entering different phases of their life like moving, different careers, or even procreating for some reason.” – @Drrodeze

7.

If you keep it up in another ten years you can do the 40s.” – @Theymakemewearpants

8.

Stretch. Moisturize. Start accumulating cash.” – @Sea-type694

9.


If you have unresolved issues or find yourself ruminating over shit that happened years ago, go and see a therapist.” – @noodlefishmonkey

10.

Enjoy. When I turned 30 I became confident enough to stop auditioning what I wanted to say in my head first in case it sounded stupid and just say it. Life became a lot more fun.” – @Markedmo

11.

“Take care of your teeth. By the time you're in your 30s tooth decay starts to be a problem. Brush and floss regularly. Go to a dentist twice a year. Keep on top of this. It’s easier to fix tooth decay problems early on, before they become a crisis.” – @Hyndis

12.

"Have fun! Too many people treat their 30s like their lives are over, but in reality, they can be a lot like your 20s - just with more money and experience, and ideally less worrying about what others think of you. Pandemic aside I've loved my 30s so far (38 now). Never had more fun." – @Zenstation83

13.

"Start taking care of yourself and make it a habit. Getting to your late 30s and realising you are putting on weight, have a sore back and can't run 100 feet without getting out of breath sucks. If you work an office job, just make the gym a regular routine and make sure you stretch." – @Devrij68

14.

"Things get harder as they get easier. But you're in a position to handle it and you have the experience and knowledge to keep going where this happening to you in your twenties would have been catastrophic. You'll spend these years finding what makes you happy, realizing you've been chasing probably the wrong thing. Be ready to pivot, restart, readjust, and be open and communicating with those in your life as you go through your joys and challenges. This is a transformative decade." – @Orbax

Justice

Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

@steph_murphy/TikTok

Stephanie Murphy shares her "average" home in viral TikTok video.

Sure, it’s lovely to see pristine, perfectly curated homes that look like they belong in Architectural Digest. A little inspo never hurt anyone. But as we all know, the spotless life is simply not an achievable reality, especially for those with busy lives and limited budgets (read: most of us).

But you know what? Maybe even the messy homes deserve some love. The ones with constant junk piles, unfinished projects, dirty dishes, and misplaced toys. The homes that will never grace the cover of a magazine but still do a wonderful job of containing all the moments life has to offer—the big, small, extraordinary, mundane, and everywhere in between. 'Cause at the end of the day, isn’t that a home’s true purpose anyway?


@stephsharesitall

Lets normalize “average” because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and its hard not to compare yours to them. But its not the norm and half the time its staged. Our house is lived in, and its filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day thats all that matters.

Stephanie Murphy, a mom and TikTok creator, seems to think so. Murphy recently took viewers on an “average house tour,” and it was the exact opposite of aspirational. Highlighted in Murphy’s tour are the pantry door that’s remained unpainted for three years, blinds held together with binder clips, air conditioners held in place by duct tape, a full dish rack tray that’s “a permanent fixture” on their countertops, and not one but two junk drawers (honestly, that’s a little low by my count). You’ll also notice a fridge that is covered in her kid’s artwork and school pictures. Not in any cohesive way, but merely thrown on randomly, as nature intended.

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, Murphy and her husband’s bed have two separate blankets because neither of them like to share. A genius idea, and just another example of how we really, really don’t need to continue with marital sleeping norms that don’t actually feel comfortable.

As for why Murphy decided to showcase her “average, middle-class house,” it’s all in the caption of her video: “Let’s normalize ‘average’ because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media, you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and it’s hard not to compare yours to them. But it’s not the norm and half the time it's staged. Our house is lived in, and it’s filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day that's all that matters."

She further explained her reasoning to Good Morning America. "I feel like social media is full of one perfectly curated video after another, and there is just so much pressure from social media to be perfect in all aspects -- to have perfect skin, perfect makeup, perfect outfit, perfect house. And the reality is no one's perfect," Murphy said.

"Honestly, I feel like there's a very good chance that all those videos that we see were staged and they probably like, moved a pile of toys behind the camera to film and then moved it back when they were done. But that's the part that people on social media just aren't sharing. They don't show you the behind-the-scenes and that is what I was looking to change," she continued.


Judging from the comments sections of this now-viral post, it seems like other people are ready for more average content.

“This is awesome! I’m constantly feeling inadequate when people have a perfect house that looks like nobody lives there!” one person wrote. “I feel seen,” added another.

Hear, hear. No need to feel inadequate about having a home that’s lived in. Imperfection has its own kind of beauty.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Photo by Kevin Payravi via Wikimedia and Takashi Toyooka via Flickr

The way Yoda talks could be an excellent tool for parents.

Parenting is certainly an interesting gig at times, but most parents likely never thought Yoda would be modeling child-rearing behavior. The little green guy that speaks in what sometimes feels like riddles was written like that purposely according to George Lucas—and it's something parents might want to take note of. Lucas, the man behind the Star Wars franchise was recently interviewed at the TCM Classic Film Festival's screening of The Empire Strikes Back for the film's 45th anniversary.

Longtime TCM host Ben Mankiewicz was the moderator of the event and finally got to ask a question that has been on people's minds for years: Why on earth did that little green Jedi master talk backwards?

Star Wars, Muppets, Frank Oz, social issues, gender rolesYoda is/was strong with the "Force." Photo by Riku Lu on Unsplash

The short story is, because Lucas wanted him to. The longer version (that fans actually wanted to know) is that Yoda's way of speaking is almost a Jedi move in itself. His speech is a psychological trick that can benefit parents who have children who struggle with listening—especially preteens.

Lucas explained, "Because if you speak regular English, people won’t listen that much. But if he had an accent, or it’s really hard to understand what he’s saying, they focus on what he’s saying. He was basically the philosopher of the movie." He continued, “I had to figure out a way to get people to actually listen—especially 12-year-olds.”

This is a tactic that some parents have used whether knowingly or not—and there's science behind it. For example, parents change their speech to a whisper when reprimanding their children in public settings to get their attention and correct unwanted behavior. Turns out this technique may also be beneficial inside the home as well.

According to The Wichita Eaglein 2008, "Wichita State audiology professor Ray Hull would say the children heard something unusual and irresistible: an adult they can understand. Because the trick to get children to listen to really hear and comprehend, whether they're toddlers or high school students isn't speaking up, Hull says. It's slowing down. According to Hull, the average adult speaks at a rate of almost 170 words per minute. But the average 5- to 7- year-old processes speech at a rate of only 120 words per minute. The gap between what a child hears and what he or she understands can appear to parents and teachers as inattention, confusion or outright defiance."

gif, star wars, speech, talking, language, childrenthe empire strikes back GIF by Star WarsGiphy

In 2013, the International Journal of Speech-Language Pathology researched the affects of rate of speech on comprehension abilities of typically developing school-aged children in Sweden. While the sample size was small, just 102 children, researchers were able to show that when children were spoken to in normal, slow, and fast rates of speech, the children were much more likely to comprehend the information given at the slow rate of speech.

Slowing things down is exactly what Mister Rogers did. According to Hull, the late children's show host spoke at a rate of 124 words per minute, which seemed to be the key in captivating his young audience. But speaking slowly isn't always enough. Parenting experts explain that parents should get down on the child's level and make eye contact before speaking. For older kids, gaining their attention by calling their name, moving closer to them, or placing a hand on their shoulder before speaking slowly will aid in getting them to hear the words coming out of your mouth. These techniques also work for children that have auditory processing disorder according to Nemours Kids Health.

yoda, grogu, star wars, speech, talk, slow speechSipping Tea Time GIFGiphy

Of course, Yoda isn't parenting real human children, but the way he speaks captures the attention of audience members young and old. But if you don't want to slow down and speak backwards, speaking at a lower volume may also do the trick.

"If someone starts speaking really loud or yelling at you, your immediate response is usually fight or flight. You just want to get away from them. Our children are no different. So when we get louder, they listen less. On the other hand, the more softly a person speaks, the more closely everybody else listens to them. We want to hear what we might be missing out on! And unless your child has a genuine physical ailment that affects their ability to hear, they will respond in the same way," parenting expert and author Dr Justin Coulson writes for Happy Families Australia.

Lucas likely didn't set out to give some solid parenting advice when explaining why he made Yoda speak in such a strange manner, but surely there's a parent out there who just may want to give this method a try.

Joy

Gen Zer tries to dub Gen X 'the worst generation.' Then a millennial steps in.

Her tongue-in-cheek warning reminds us all why you don't mess with the latchkey kids.

Gen X (left) Gen Z (Right)

There's something to be said about the now well documented sibling dynamic between Millennials and Gen Z. But before that bond existed, many Millennials grew up with Gen X siblings, learning early on not to disturb the sleeping bear.

Unfortunately, some folks in the younger generation, i.e Gen Z, didn't get this memo. One brave...or naive Gen Zer decided to declare that Gen X is "the worst generation" seemingly unprompted.

Young Padawan, Gen X minds their business grumbling through life unless someone summons them. We don't summon them.

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen z vs gen x, gen z vs millennials, millennials vs gen x, generational humorYoda is not happy about this. media2.giphy.com

In a stitched video, millennial Laura High gave a succinct cliff's notes version of why it's best to not speak negative thoughts on Gen X aloud.

"I love Gen X. We all love Gen X...we all love Gen X," she said before bringing the camera close enough to whisper.

"Ok here's the thing, you do not seem to understand who Gen X is, okay? Gen X is Boomers if they knew how to turn a document into a PDF, okay. They do not Karen out. They get quiet and they get revenge," she warned.

The millennial then shared the secret kept by her generation: "we do not summon the latchkey kids unless it's our literal only last resort." She advised the unknowing Gen Zer to go to the edge of the woods to leave offerings to appease any Gen Xers that would likely be offended by the video. Commenters agreed with her sentiment.

"There is a reason millennials leave Gen X alone, and they learned it the hard way. My fellow Gen Z’s will learn soon… very soon," one commenter said..

"Elder Gen Z raised by two Gen X parents. I do NOT back the younger half of Gen Z on this. I’m running into the woods on their behalf and leaving Ferris Bueller for my dad and a DQ blizzard for my mom," another echoed.

"Last thing she will hear from the woods, Red Rover Red Rover, we call Karen Hashtag over," said a third.

If you've never played Red Rover with Gen Xers, just know you were lucky to have your head still attached to your shoulders after the game was over. There were no tears allowed and no telling your parents, they were gone anyway. In shot: Gne Xers are ruthless, and it's best not to cross them. Seriously.

Thankfully, Gen Xers are also open to peace offerings. Here are a few of their suggestions:

"I will accept ding dongs (in original foil) and a VHS of “the last star fighter” I will also except a mix tape if it include at mix of metal, new wave, and Yaz,"

"We will also accept any of the original Star Wars trilogy, Star Trek 2, Raiders, or Die Hard…though John Hughes films will likely will be the safest choice."

Moral of the story: tread lightly Gen Z. Tread very lightly. If you hear someone clinking together empty glass Coke bottles outside your door, do not come out and play. It's a trap.

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen z vs gen x, gen z vs millennials, millennials vs gen x, generational humorIf looks could kill…media3.giphy.com

This article originally appeared last year.

shannonnjune/TikTok

Best friends coparent their children together after going through divorces at same time.

Becoming a single parent after divorce can be an overwhelming challenge. For best friends Shannon Foote (@shannonnjune) and Cheyanne Marie (@_cheyanne_marie_), who both went through divorces at the same time in 2024, they leaned on each other to get through.

Together, they decided to move into a home to co-parent their collective six kids together (Foote has four children, and Cheyanne Marie has two).

"Pro tip: get a divorce at the same time as your best friend and become 2 moms raising 6 kids," she captioned the post. "Two moms is better."

@shannonnjune

Two moms is better #bestfriend #singlemom

In the video, the two share clips from an average day in their life and all that it entails to take care of (and keep up with) their six kids. They do everything as a team, from folding mounds of laundry together to cleaning and supervising their kids as they play.

In another video, Foote and Cheyanne Marie conquer more household chores. In the kitchen, they bag up trash, empty the dishwasher, and clean the countertops and stove. Plus, they get in some more laundry folding and watching their kids play together in their backyard.

@shannonnjune

Life is easier with a village!!! #coparenting #bestfriend #momsoftiktok #singlemom #momof4 And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅

"Life is easier with a village!!!" they captioned the post. They also added, "And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅."

The friends also shared how they divide and conquer when it comes to putting their kids to bed. "We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶," Foote captioned the post. After a fun night of dying Easter eggs as a family, they get to it. Cheyanne Marie takes over laundry folding duties, while Foote cleans the kitchen and living room.

@shannonnjune

We really live the fullest life ❤️🥰🫶 #singlemom #mom #singlemomof4 #momof4 #singlemoms #coparenting #village


Both moms also have jobs. Foote is an electrical contractor, and Cheyanne Marie is a painting contractor.

Foote and Cheyanne Marie have shared more about what went into their decision to move in together to co-parent. "Last year after our divorces, we reached out to each other just to have a good friend while navigating single motherhood," Foote wrote. "Slowly we started spending every night together, our kids started calling us auntie, and life felt normal."

TikTok · shannonnjune

TikTok · shannonnjunewww.tiktok.com

Their videos have gotten lots of support from moms and women going through divorces in co-parenting situations. One wrote, "This is THE FUTURE." Another added, "Being surrounded by their best friends having slumber parties every night probably makes it a little easier for the kids too! I love this you both are doing great! 💝"

Other women shared their experience growing up in similar households or trying this parenting method themselves. "My mom & 2 of her girlfriends did this when I was little & they all got divorced at the same time. it was 3 of them & 8 of us kids.... best childhood memories I have!" one wrote. Another added, "Me and my bestie did this, both left our abusive bds 2 years ago, got a apartment together with our babies and watched them while each other worked. Best thing we ever did."