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Modern Families

Exhausted mom posted a letter begging her husband for help. And then it went viral.

An open letter by Celeste Yvonne shows overwhelmed mothers how to ask for support.

viral, parenting, motherhood, communication, relationships, blogger
Photo via Celeste Yvonne, used with permission.

Celeste Yvonne wrote a letter to her husband asking for help.

Taking care of a newborn baby is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. For the first four months (at least!), new parents have to dedicate every part of themselves to caring for this young life.

There's little time for self-care during this chaotic period, let alone a moment to be fully present with a partner.

A blogger who goes by the name Celeste Yvonne was the mother of a toddler and a newborn and wrote a revealing open letter to her husband asking for more help with their children.

It went viral in 2018 because it paints a very real picture of what it feels like to be a mother who feels stuck doing everything. And the message still resonated deeply today.

It's also important because it gives specific ways for parents to support each other.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know what a week's worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can't I?

I don't know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I'm human, and I'm running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone's lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it's hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it's just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I've scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I've got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids' naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it's assumed I'll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you're out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it's not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human. I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let's face it: you need me, too."

After the video went viral, Yvonne filmed another thanking everyone who read it and addressed the biggest question it raised: Did the letter work?

"Yes, absolutely. Communication works — most of the time," Yvonne said with a laugh. "I told [my husband] all the stuff I'm doing on the back end that he had no idea about. And then he told me all the concerns and the stress he's been having as a new father. Things that I had no idea about. It was so eye-opening, and I'm so grateful for it.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 3.20.18

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Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"How in the world did you solve that last one?" Seacrest asked.

"I just dug deep, I dug deep," Demus-Gamble said.

Yeah, you dug real deep," Seacrest replied. "Congratulations, great, great work."

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

This article originally appeared in January

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Friendship

8 friends rally around nervous college student, helping her get ready for her first date

He picked her up with flowers.

Image via Canva

College girlfriends help nervous friend get ready for first date.

There are few things more nerve-wracking than going on a first date. But when you have a big group of supportive girlfriends who are there to help you pick out your outfit and do your hair and makeup, you know everything is gonna be okay.

And that was just the case for Auburn University student Avery (@averyy_ayers), who was featured in her friend Erin's (@erinv.logerinv.log) sweet video that captured her girl squad rallying around her to put her at ease and make her feel beautiful for her first date.

In the video, Erin documents how 8 girls crammed into a tiny dorm room to help Avery prep. "first date YAY!!!", she captioned the post.

The video begins with Avery trying on a number of different outfits for her friends, who all offer their opinions on if it is 'the one' or not. After trying on at least 5 different outfits (that got the 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' from the group), there is a clear winner: a colorful, floral smocked dress that she paired with sandals.

The girls are having a blast together, dancing and playing games while Avery continues to get ready. The fun and relaxed atmosphere helped put her nerves at ease. Next, one of her girlfriends has Avery sit in a chair to do her makeup. Then another friend does her hair using a curling wand to give her pretty waves. Once her look is complete, she gives her friends a twirl and they all clap for her.

glamGetting Ready Canadian GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy

The camera follows Avery as she leaves the dorm room and goes into the stairwell to make her way downstairs to meet her date, her nerves clearly ramping up. She meets her date outside, who is sitting on a bench waiting for her with flowers. He also put some effort into his outfit to look nice, rocking a white short sleeve button down and khakis. When he sees her, he stands up and goes to give her a hug. Of course, her girl squad is watching from the dorm, and she turns around and waves to them, showing the flowers with a big smile.


floweGive I Love You GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphy

And viewers are loving the support of Avery's friends and her date's sweet efforts, too. "The vibes of a freshman college student living in the dorm rooms with all her best friends are immaculate! This is perfect!" one wrote. Another commented, "FLOWERS ON THE FIRST DATE? YESS SIR 🔥🔥🔥." Another wrote, "And he put effort into his outfit / looks so put together too!" And another viewer shared, "this is so girlhood ❤️😭 i can tell by her smile that she is just the BEST person to be around!! hope it went well! :)"

Thankfully, Avery did not leave viewers hanging. She gave multiples responses when asked in the comment section how the date went. Spoiler alert: it was a total success. When one viewer commented, "We need an update", she responded, "date was 10/10". And when another commented, "She has such joy. It is beautiful. How did this work out for her?", she also replied, "it went great!!"

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Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Image via Canva

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

And viewers are showing their support. "I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote. Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound." And another shared, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

And Nana Lulu herself commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers showing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multigenerationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. And she has noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving their new living situation. "This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕." And another shared, "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."

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Wellness

Physician breaks down the 7 kinds of rest people need and no wonder everyone's so exhausted

If you're tired despite getting enough sleep, you may need a different kind of rest.

Photo credit: Canva

We need other kinds of rest besides sleep.

Do you frequently find yourself feeling exhausted, maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally, or existentially? Do you ever feel tired no matter how much sleep you get? When someone says, "You need to get some rest," what does that mean to you?

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith has an explanation for that. The internal medicine physician explains in a TED Talk that sleep and rest are not the same thing—we have incorrectly conflated the two—and that there are actually 7 types of rest every human needs. Sleep takes care of some of our need for rest, but certainly not all, and our lack of these other kinds of rest may explain why so many of us feel so spent so much of the time.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

If you're feeling tired, wiped out, spent, or otherwise exhausted, take a look at these 7 kinds of rest and see what you might need to incorporate more of into your life.

1. Physical rest

Dr. Dalton-Smith says that physical rest can be passive or active. Passive rest is what we often think of as physical rest, like sleeping or napping. Active physical rest includes things like stretching, massage, yoga, or other things we do to restore and refresh our bodies.

2. Mental rest

If you find your mind racing at night as you try to go to sleep, you may need some mental rest. Examples of mental rest include disconnecting from the constant mental stimuli of modern life, engaging in meditation and mindfulness exercises, using a notebook to spill your overflow of thoughts. Mental rest can be done in short spurts throughout the day or incorporated into your daily routine.

mental rest, sensory overload, rest, relaxation, taking a breakWe all need to give our minds and senses a break sometimes.Photo credit: Canva

3. Sensory rest

We live in a world of fairly constant sensory bombardment, and finding ways to relieve your senses can be a challenge. Dr. Dalton-Smith suggests sensory rest by turning off electronics, dimming lights, putting on comfortable clothes, embracing the stillness and quiet for a bit. Sitting in your car with the engine off an be a great place for sensory rest, as the car often blocks more sound than our homes do. Lying in a bathtub with your ears under the water is another way to create a sensory respite.

4. Creative rest

When we are constantly dealing with problems that need to be solved, our creative energy can get drained. Creative rest means doing things that restore our creative energy and awaken the awe and wonder that lie at the heart of creativity. This kind of rest includes things like indulging in the beauty of nature, enjoying an artistic performance or creation, or even something as simple as doodling. It can also mean setting up spaces around you that inspire you.

"Turn your workspace into a place of inspiration by displaying images of places you love and works of art that speak to you," suggests Dr. Dalton-Smith. "You can’t spend 40 hours a week staring at blank or jumbled surroundings and expect to feel passionate about anything, much less come up with innovative ideas."

rest, relaxing in nature, beauty of natureA little time enjoying nature's beauty can restore your creativity.Photo credit: Canva

5. Emotional rest

Some of us face more emotional demands than others, but all of us need breaks from them once in a while. Emotional rest might look like saying no to requests that you know will be emotionally draining, talking to a trusted friend or loved one about things you're struggling with, journaling to unload some emotional weight you've been carrying, or stepping away from the urge to people please. Emotional rest might also include talking to a therapist or counselor (though sometimes that's actually hard emotional work).

6. Social rest

Much is made about people being introverts or extroverts, but we all need social rest sometimes. Taking some time to be alone with no social expectations or obligations once in a while is healthy for everyone. But social rest can also mean recognizing which relationships in our lives drain us and which ones fill us up and choosing to engage with the latter. Keeping track of your social battery and doing what you need to do to recharge it is social rest.

meditation, spiritual rest, mindfulness, nurturing your spiritMeditation is one form of spiritual rest.Photo credit: Canva

7. Spiritual rest

Existential exhaustion requires tapping into something deeper, which is where spiritual rest comes in. Dr. Dalton-Smith describes spiritual rest as "the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance and purpose." Spiritual rest might look like prayer or meditation for those who connect with a higher power, but it can also look like volunteering in your community, communing with nature, spending purposeful time with loved ones, or otherwise connecting with your spiritual side.

One thing that's clear in Dr. Dalton-Smith's explanations of different kinds of rest is that rest doesn't mean not doing anything. The purpose of rest is to restore and refresh, and that can actually mean doing something active. When we don't pay heed to the kinds of rest we need, we suffer. As Dr. Dalton-Smith says, ignoring those needs results in "a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired, burned-out individuals."

We definitely need sleep, but when sleep alone isn't restoring us, we need to examine what other kinds of rest we may be deficient in. Dr. Dalton-Smith even created a quiz to help people determine where they might want to look for better rest, which you can take here. You can also find more of Dr. Dalton-Smith's thoughts on rest in her book, "Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity."

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Science

Sorry, chimps. Oxford professor says octopuses will rule Earth after humans.

They are civilization builders.

via Dan Asaki/Unsplash and Canva/Photos

The last man on earth and a perplexed chimp.

It’s upsetting for many to consider that humans may not be around one day. But it’s not shocking, given the damage that we’ve done to the planet through climate change and the fact that we’re the only species to create a nuclear bomb. Even if we don’t do ourselves in, the odds aren’t in our favor of the Earth not finding a way to eliminate the surface disturbance known as humanity. Studies show that since life began on Earth, 99% of species have ever lived have gone extinct.

So, after the last human on Earth passes away, who will take over the mantle of being the apex predator and build Earth’s next great civilization? University of Oxford professor Tim Coulson has posited that a rather unorthodox species, the octopus, will take over after we’re gone. His new book, The Universal History of Us, outlines his thinking for the cephalopod takeover.

What species will take over the Earth after humans are gone?

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos


Most people would think that the great apes are our natural successors. Still, Coulson says otherwise. “Hominids such as chimpanzees and bonobos are intelligent animals with opposable thumbs, tool-using abilities, and, at least for short distances, the capacity to walk on two legs, traits shared with us,” Coulson told The European. “Despite these similarities, they would likely face extinction alongside humans, as they are equally exposed to threats in our shared environment.”

Coulson says intelligent birds will fail to take over after humans because they “lack the fine motor skills needed to construct a civilization." However, octopuses have the physical, mental, and social possibilities to build a great society, especially without humans to thwart their efforts.

“Their ability to solve complex problems, communicate with one another in flashes of color, manipulate objects, and even camouflage themselves with stunning precision suggests that, given the right environmental conditions, they could evolve into a civilization-building species following the extinction of humans,” Coulson said. “Their advanced neural structure, decentralized nervous system, and remarkable problem-solving skills make several species of octopus well suited for an unpredictable world.”

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos

Coulson believes that octopuses could evolve to create a great civilization beneath the sea that rivals the world created by humans. With some help from evolution, they may also learn to adapt to life on land and take over where people left off. This may sound improbable, but 370 to 390 million years ago, the first sea creatures left the ocean to live on dry land. Further, some animals, such as dolphins and whales, started in the ocean, lived on land, and then returned to the sea after disruptions to their habitats. Could a similar disruption cause the octopus to look for a better life on the beach?

Culum Brown, a professor in the School of Natural Sciences at Macquarie University, is skeptical that octopuses have it in them to make the big leap to the top of the evolutionary heap. “Despite all their tricks, octopuses are still working from a snail blueprint, and there’s only so much you can do with that toolbox. They are also highly constrained by their very short life-span,” Brown wrote in The Conversation.



Sydney Philosophy of Science Professor Peter Godfrey-Smith told Popular Mechanics that octopuses are also hindered by their social dynamics and lack of “intergenerational connections.” Given that they have yet to develop them over millions of years of evolution, Godfrey-Smith is doubtful they’ll occur “anytime soon.”

It’s impossible to know what the future holds, but don’t be shocked if, one day, octopuses develop a superior civilization based on peace, love, and seaweed. “Random mutations, unforeseen extinction events, and population bottlenecks can all significantly influence the trajectory of evolution, making it challenging to determine whether another species will develop human-level intelligence or the inclination to construct cities,” Coulson told The European. “But could octopuses replace humans–and potentially also primates–if they were to die out? Absolutely. They could become the brains of the sea.”

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