+
Identity

She became a model in retirement— redefining what beauty and fulfillment really look like

74 year old model carolyn doelling

Fashion isn't just for the young.

Why should we view growing older as the end of all new experiences? What if we gave ourselves permission to view the later part in life as an adventure, equally as exciting and full of opportunities as our younger years?

I find myself falling into this “aging = decline” mentality quite easily as of late, even though I never previously considered aging to be particularly dreadful. I can say without a doubt that things have indeed gotten better for me with age; I have no desire to revisit my 20s. And yet, I still will catch myself thinking of all the things I’m now “too old” to even begin, let alone accomplish. The splits? At 33? What’s the point? Move to London? I can’t, my life is set in Los Angeles. And so on.

Despite my determined focus on those “40 Over 40” lists and repeated affirmations of "things continually get better for me,” and knowing full well that 30s are not even close to over the hill, I can still sense now that there is a hill. And that makes me anticipate the decline, to the exclusion of many paths that could be enjoyable. And isn’t that a major point of life … no matter what stage of it we’re in?

It’s recovering pessimists like me that inspired Carolyn Doelling to share her story.


Doelling completely reinvented herself, and now lives life as an in-demand fashion model. Her Instagram is filled with magazine-worthy photos wearing kickboxing attire, glamorous silk sets and luxurious dresses. She embodies style and grace so effortlessly, it’s hard to believe that she didn’t start this fabulous career until retirement.

Doelling had a long and varied career in banking, telecommunications and nonprofit sectors. Though she immersed herself in left-brained industries, Doelling still found ways to put her heart into philanthropy as well.

During that time, she had never even considered posing for the camera.

She told the TODAY show, “I have to say that modeling was never in the picture. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find a picture of me beforehand, because I was always on the back row."

Once she retired at 70, Doelling found that the back row was getting less comfortable. In fact, retired life made her feel “invisible,” especially without a career to tie her self-worth to.

“So much of our identity is tied with what our titles are and what our work is,” she told Grow Acorns. “‘I am a development officer. I am a marketing strategist.’ Then when you let that go, you have to find a different ‘I am.’ But saying ‘I am retired,’ well, that’s really not work. Both internally and externally you begin to feel like a different person.”

Doelling noticed this feeling reflected in her outer world, often being “underestimated” and “overlooked.”

She shared with TODAY, "It was as if everyone in this culture of ageism had agreed: You are done, your work is done. You are no longer needed. And with the kids and husband gone, your purpose to us is questionable."

For Doelling, fashion became an outlet for feeling seen again. And following her creative instincts took her down a completely unexpected path.

In a story worthy of Gisele Bündchen, Doelling was discovered in broad daylight. While attending an event for luxury boutique McMullen, she was noticed by the store's owner Sherri McMullen, who was taken aback by Doelling's bold and confident style. But it was Doelling’s mission to “inspire other women to add more style and swagger to their life,” that really drew McMullen in. Doelling was quickly whisked away for a photoshoot.

The pictures received a ton of positive feedback, attention from other designers and even an offer from a New York modeling agency. Doelling was invisible no more.

Though Doelling is grateful for the gig, she is more interested in exploring other parts of her ‘I am,” rather than stick to one. Been there, done that, after all.

“I write, I am taking piano lessons. I’m just making a well-rounded life,” she tells Grow Acorns. “I could let modeling go tomorrow and be happy doing something else. Being a cyclist, maybe.”

Doelling certainly helped me remember that our life path might contain a few forks in the road, but never a true dead end. I hope she did the same for you. Revisit those old childhood dreams you deemed impossible. Take on a hobby simply because it enriches your soul. Look forward to 70 the same way you did for 20. Who knows what fun twists and turns your ‘I am’ can take as long as you’re open.

It’s never too late to enjoy all of life’s goodness.

Internet

Relationship expert tells people to never get married unless you're willing to do 3 things

"If you and your partner (both) are unable or unwilling to do these 3 things consistently forever, you won’t make it."

Relationship expert gives people advice on getting married.

Being in a relationship can be difficult at times. Learning someone else's quirks, boundaries, and deep views on the world can be eye-opening and hard. But usually, the happy chemicals released in our brain when we love someone can cause us to overlook things in order to keep the peace.

Jayson Gaddis, a relationship expert, took to Twitter to rip off people's rose-colored glasses and tell them to forego marriage. Honestly, with the divorce rate in this country being as high as it is, he probably could've stopped his tweet right there. Don't get married, the end. Many people would've probably related and not questioned the bold statement, but thankfully he followed up with three things you must be willing to do before going to the chapel.

Before going into his reasons for why he tells people not to get married, Gaddis explained that he is a person that "LOVEs being married." I mean, it would probably make him a pretty weird relationship expert if he hated relationships, so it's probably a good thing he enjoys being married. Surely his spouse appreciates his stance as well.

Keep ReadingShow less

Tater Tots, fresh out of the oven.

It’s hard to imagine growing up in America without Tater Tots. They are one of the most popular kiddie foods, right up there with chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and macaroni and cheese. The funny thing is the only reason Tater Tots exist is that their creators needed something to do with leftover food waste.

The Tater Tot is the brainchild of two Mormon brothers, F. Nephi and Golden Grigg, who started a factory on the Oregon-Idaho border that they appropriately named Ore-Ida. The brothers started the factory in 1951 after being convinced that frozen foods were the next big thing.

According to Eater, between 1945 and 1946, Americans bought 800 million pounds of frozen food.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

10 years ago, a 'Stairway to Heaven' performance brought Led Zeppelin's surviving members to tears

Heart, John Bonham's son and a full choir came together for the epic tribute.

Led Zeppelin got to see their iconic hit performed for them.

When Billboard and Rolling Stone pull together their "Best Songs of All Time" lists, there are some tunes you know for sure will be included. Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" is most definitely one of them.

It has everything—the beauty of a ballad, the grunginess of a rock song, the simple solo voice, and the band in full force. "Stairway to Heaven" takes us on a musical journey, and even people who aren't necessarily giant Led Zeppelin or classic rock fans can't help but nod or sing along to it.

Of course, it's also been so ubiquitous (or overplayed, as some would claim) to become a meme among musicians. Signs saying "No Stairway to Heaven" in guitar stores point to how sick of the song many guitarists get, and when Oregon radio station KBOO told listeners they would never play the song again if someone pledged $10,000, Led Zepelin singer Robert Plant himself called in and gave the donation.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Developmental scientist shared her 'anti-parenting advice' and parents are relieved

In a viral Twitter thread, Dorsa Amir addresses the "extreme pressure put on parents in the West."

Photo by kabita Darlami on Unsplash, @DorsaAmir/Twitter

Parents, maybe give yourselves a break

For every grain of sand on all the world’s beaches, for every star in the known universe…there is a piece well intentioned, but possibly stress-inducing parenting advice.

Whether it’s the astounding amount of hidden dangers that parents might be unwittingly exposing their child to, or the myriad ways they might be missing on maximizing every moment of interaction, the internet is teeming with so much information that it can be impossible for parents to feel like they’re doing enough to protect and nurture their kids.

However, developmental scientist and mom Dorsa Amir has a bit of “anti-parenting advice” that help parents worry a little less about how they’re measuring up.

First and foremost—not everything has to be a learning opportunity. Honestly, this wisdom also applies to adults who feel the need to be consistently productive…raises hand while doing taxes and listening to a podcast on personal development
Keep ReadingShow less

A guy with road rage screaming out of his car.

A psychologist who’s an expert in narcissism has released a telling video that reveals one of the red flags of the disorder, being an erratic driver.

"Most people, when they tell the story backwards of a narcissistic relationship, are able to see the red flags very clearly,” Dr. Ramani said in her video. “However, seeing them forwards isn't hard. But if you see them too late, it means you've already been through the narcissistic relationship, you're devastated and have likely wasted a lot of time."

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University and author of several books, including “Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist.”

Keep ReadingShow less
www.youtube.com

Man hailed 'Highway Hero' for running across four lanes of traffic

Holy cow, Bat Man! You're always supposed to be aware of other vehicles when you're driving but what do you do when you notice someone has lost consciousness while speeding down the highway?

It's a scenario that no one wants to see play out, but for Adolfo Molina, the scenario became reality and he didn't hesitate to spring into action. Molina was driving down the highway when he spotted a woman in a blue car who lost consciousness as her car careened down the shoulder of the highway. The concerned driver quickly pulled over in order to attempt to rescue the woman.

But there was a problem, he had to cross four lanes of traffic on the highway just to make it to the woman's still moving car. That obstacle didn't stop him. Molina sprinted across the highway, crossing right in front of a black pick up truck before running at full speed to attempt to open the woman's door and stop her car.

Keep ReadingShow less