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Psychotic disorders are my specialty. Here’s what I wish people understood before commenting online.

Being delusional is much more than a questionable Instagram post.

Britney Spears; psychosis; mental health; mental illness; mental health stigma
Britney Spears/Instagram screenshot, Photo by Jen/wikicommons

The speculation around Britney Spears' and other celebrities' mental health needs to stop.

Oh goodness, here we are again watching the media and "experts" speculate on the mental health of a celebrity. After nearly two decades working with a population deemed to have "severe and persistent mental illness," I'd like to weigh in a bit. The term "severe and persistent mental illness" is a catch-all for serious mental health conditions from bipolar disorder to schizophrenia and everything in between.

I've worked with a variety of clients over the years, many of whom refused medication, though their psychosis caused them to have extreme paranoia and terrifying visual hallucinations. I've also worked with several folks that have been under a guardianship, which is equivalent to a conservatorship in California.



As I watch the media, fans and professionals speculate about whether a celebrity needs to be hospitalized or placed in a conservatorship, I often wish they had a better understanding of what severe mental illnesses looked like. Not only that, but what constitutes a concern and what's just normal for that person. But let's be real for a minute. The media continuously guessing if you've rounded the bend is likely enough to be the cause of a mental breakdown, even in a mentally stable person.

So here's what I wish people understood about these severe and persistent mental illnesses. When people enter a psychiatric facility against their will, it's a trauma. The effects of that trauma can stunt brain development and create coping mechanisms that may seem a bit odd to others. This doesn't mean that they're off of their medication or need to go back. It just means they came out of it a little differently than they went in and we have to adjust.

Everything about their behavior isn't related to their mental wellness. I've seen this a lot with families after a loved one gets released from the hospital and is doing well. If the client gets upset because someone ate all of their favorite cookies, instead of looking at the cause of the person's anger, immediately the thought goes to, "They must not be taking their medicine."

The same happens when it's just plain silly behaviors, like Britney Spears getting the human equivalent to the zoomies and talking in a fake foreign accent. Suddenly it's front page news and people are concerned, but if you take away the information of her being previously hospitalized, the concern would likely be nonexistent.

There's also a misunderstanding about what can actually be done if someone is in need of acute psychiatric care. There are generally two reasons someone can be hospitalized against their will: if they're a danger to themselves or if they're a danger to others. Outside of it being the person's first psychotic break, it's extremely difficult for someone to be forced into help and there's good reason for that. No matter your mental health status, you're entitled to autonomy.

Back in the olden days (think the 19th century), husbands could commit their wives because they got too sassy or independent. Parents could drop off their children or family members with mental disabilities, just because they found them difficult to care for. Do you know what happened to those sassy independent wives? They got lobotomies to make them more docile. Others deemed mentally unfit were sterilized against their will.

This is why it's difficult to commit someone, and while it makes my job more difficult sometimes, I'm happy it's hard to do. Even when I know a client is reaching the point of danger but still doesn't meet the criteria, I'd rather make a safety plan with the family than make the committal process easier where ill-intentioned people could take advantage.

Britney Spears; psychosis; mental health; mental illness; mental health stigma

woman in white and red shirt printed with words "you matter"

Photo by Eneida Hoti on Unsplash

The public speculating on what warrants intervention or not mostly comes from a place of concern, but it's often incorrect. There are licensed therapists that struggle with identifying it as well because we have different areas of expertise. While I couldn't tell you all the ins and outs of treating an eating disorder, a therapist that specializes in eating disorders could. My area is psychosis and other severe mental illnesses, so I stick to what I know when speaking authoritatively.

Specializing in psychotic disorders has taught me more about the human condition than anything else. Getting to know the incredible people that hear voices that I cannot or believe things no one else does has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.

People living with severe mental illnesses still deserve respect and basic human autonomy. They're allowed to be weird. They're allowed to be silly. They're allowed to be angry. They're allowed to be boring. They're allowed to just be and we should let them.

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

Why is text reversed in mirrors?

Have you ever wondered why text shows up backwards in a mirror? It's confusing to our brains because it doesn't seem like anything else is flipped like that. If we turn our head, it doesn't move the opposite direction in a mirror. Or does it? After all, right-handed you is actually left-handed you in the mirror. Right? (Wait, is that right?)

Mirrors can be confusing, despite not being very complicated. A mirror image is simply a reflection of what's before it. But when someone else is looking at us head on, they don't see text in reverse, so why don't we see what other people see when we see ourselves in a mirror?

  Kitten Aww GIF by MOODMAN  Giphy  

(If you think this is a super stupid question with a super obvious answer, congratulations. Pat yourself on the back and scootch along so the folks who don't fully grasp the physics of mirrors can enjoy a demonstration that makes it a little easier to understand.)

"Why do mirrors reverse text?" asks the creator behind @humanteneleven on YouTube. "You might think it's just a property of mirrors—they flip things from left to right—but that's not true." He then picks up a metal arrow to show that it points the same direction in the mirror as it does in real life. So why is the text flipped when the arrow isn't?

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

He then holds up a book to show how the text on the book cover appears backwards, just like the shirt. But when he holds up a Ziploc bag with the word "HELLO" written on it, the word shows up properly.

That's because he had to flip the book over to see the cover text in the mirror. The baggy he could just hold up and see the letters through the transparent plastic, just as we see them in real life. If he flips the baggy over like he did the book, the text shows up backwards in the mirror, just like it does in real life.

"So it's actually not the mirror that's flipping anything from left to right," he says. "It's the human."

People appreciated the simple, straightforward explanation and demonstrations.

"One of the most insightful demonstrations I've seen. It's simple and explains the phenomenon. Well done!"

 

"While I've heard this explanation many times before, I've only recently seen it demonstrated with text-on-transparency, which is what really makes it click. Great video!"

"Love these sorts of demonstrations. It’s a bit of a complicated one, but I love seeing how different people's minds work when explaining simple things like this. My kid explains it with “left is on the left, right is on the right, things aren’t flipped, they are mirrored” but it’s true that you are the one who flips things and I’ve never thought of it that way before."

"Oh my God, I haven't understood explanations from physics videos about why mirrors flip but this, gosh this helps."

Mirrors have been hilariously befuddling people in other videos as they try to figure out how the mirror knows what's behind a barrier placed in front of objects.

@sarahcoome

this is kinda creepy 👀 #mirror #relatable #creepy

 

Is this something all of us should probably have learned in high school? Yes. Do all of us remember everything we learned in high school? No. Does the scientific explanation make perfect sense to everyone even if it's explained in detail? Um, no.

Like the reversed text question, having a simplified explanation that doesn't fully get into the nitty gritty physics and geometry of how mirrors work is helpful for some folks.

 

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

For those who do want a bit more scientific substance to their explanations, this next video does a good job of giving a bit more detail while still keeping the explanation simple. It even uses a visual diagram to explain:

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

And for those who say, "This is so basic! How do people not understand this?" here's a video that really does get into the nitty gritty physics and geometry of how mirrors work, diving into ray and wave optics, photons, wave functions, probability, and quantum mechanics. It's only 12 minutes, and it manages to entertain while explaining, but it certainly blows the notion that understanding mirrors is super simple.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

As one commenter wrote, "I thought I understood mirrors. I understand mirrors even less now. And that's a compliment."

Isn't science fun?

This article originally appeared in May.

A woman in a hot car.

Cars can become unbearably hot in the summer. Even at a seemingly mild 80 degrees outside, the temperature inside can soar to a scorching 109°F within 20 minutes. According to the CDC, in just 40 minutes it can escalate to a blistering 118°F. After an hour, it can peak at a searing 123°F. And that’s just the air temperature; a dark dashboard or seat can reach a staggering 200°F.

"These objects (e.g., dashboard, steering wheel, child seat) heat the adjacent air by conduction and convection and also give off longwave radiation (red) which is very efficient at warming the air trapped inside a vehicle," the CDC explained in their report. It can take five to 10 minutes for your car to cool down on a hot day by turning on the air conditioning, which probably means you burn your buttocks and thighs on the hot seat. That’s why Hannah Fry shared an amazing hack on TikTok, demonstrating how to cool your car down in seconds using the laws of thermodynamics.

Fry is Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge. She is a mathematician, a best-selling author, an award-winning science host, and the host of numerous popular podcasts and television shows.

@fryrsquared

That age-old dilemma of choosing between having a non-sweltering car or baffling a passerby because you look like a fool who doesn't know how to use a door

Fry suggests that instead of turning on the air conditioning, which she claims is “not worth it” because of the time it takes, open one of the windows on the opposite side of the door. Then, rapidly open and close the driver’s side door, so it moves back and forth like a fan.

“The reason why it works is that when you open and close the door, especially if you do it quickly, the door, as it's moving outwards, it sweeps out all of the air that's in its way, creating this sort of area of low pressure that you get here,” Fry said. “And then that sets up something called bulk flow, which is where all of the hot, sweaty, horrible air inside the car is drawn outwards.”

 hot car, hot steering wheel, hot man, sweat, summer,  A man sweating in his car.via Canva/Photos

Fry’s super practical approach to a problem everyone deals with blew many people’s minds in the comments. “If I ever catch someone in real life doing this, I’m gonna know they’ve watched this exact video,” a commenter wrote. “I will give it a go, but while opening and closing the door, scream, ‘Be gone, heat demons! BE GONE!’” another added. “Going to remember this the next time my partner farts in the car,” someone joked.

The fact that the inside air temperature in a car and the outside temperature are often drastically different, especially in the summer, serves as a crucial reminder to dog owners everywhere to never leave their pet unattended in a parked car. "Most dog owners know that you can’t leave a pet in a hot car," the American Kennel Club writes. "Temperatures can rise to dangerous levels in just minutes, putting your dog at risk of heatstroke. But what if you open a window a little bit? Does that make it safe to leave your dog in the car? The answer is simple. You should never leave a dog alone in the car, even with the windows cracked. In some states, it’s even illegal."

The following video by The Dodo explains why leaving a dog in a hot car can be deadly, even when it doesn’t feel that hot outside.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Community

The remote island where residents speak a fascinating blend of Southern and Old English

Experts say Ocracoke's endlessly-entertaining dialect is rapidly disappearing.

BBC Global/YouTube & EZScore/Flickr

An isolated island called Ocracoke is home to a unique accent not found anywhere else in the world

American English comes in all sorts of different flavors and varieties. I grew up in Baltimore, which shares some dialectical DNA with the accent you find in other Northeastern cities like Philadelphia. Baldamor, hon! There's the New England dialects, most famously the Boston accent: Pahk the cah at Havahd yahd! The New York accent is world famous, as is the deep Southern twang, which gives way to a thick Cajun accent the closer you get to the water in Florida and Louisiana.

These are all different versions of the greater American dialect. But there is one place, a tiny island off the coast of North Carolina, where a few residents speak in such a unique way that it's not even identified as American by most people around the world.

Ocracoke, North Carolina is home to a unique dialect called the Brogue: A strange blend of American Southern, Old Elizabethan English, with little bits of Irish and even Australian thrown in.


 ocracoke, north carolina, the brogue, hoi toider, accents, dialect, language, linguistics, anthropology Americans think Hoi Toider sounds English. People from England think it sounds like something else.  Giphy  

The Brogue, also known as Hoi Toider, is absolutely fascinating to hear in action. When you watch interviews with the locals of the island, they at first appear to be speaking a form of deep American southern — you can hear the twang the way you might in parts of Georgia of Alabama. But then, without warning, a word or phrase will slip out that sounds distinctly British. Old English even. Then you'll swear you hear a bit of Irish!

The dialect owes its roots to a surprising source: Pirates.

Pirates loved to hide out on Ocracoke as the island is incredibly remote, about 20 miles from the mainland of North Carolina. Even today there are no bridges or flights to Ocracoke; it can only be reached by a (quite lengthy) boat ride. Eventually, the island was actually purchased by the Blackbeard's quartermaster (yes, that Blackbeard), William Howard, where he created something of a pirate settlement. English sailors and Native American tribes also passed through and had their own unique impact on the culture and developing language of the island.


 ocracoke, north carolina, blackbeard, pirates, the brogue, hoi toider, accents, dialect, language, linguistics, anthropology Legend has it Blackbeard himself named the island.  Giphy  

In case have your doubts about the island's buccaneerish roots: "In one popular island legend, Ocracoke comes from the phrase, 'Oh, crow cock,' which was spoken by the infamous pirate Blackbeard as he waited to do battle at sunrise with the governor’s forces that had come to capture him," writes a guide from NC State University.

The dialect had a lot of room to develop without much outside influence. The BBC writes, "Howard's community lived in near-isolation for almost two centuries. Electricity didn't arrive at the island until 1938 and a ferry service didn't start until 1957, leaving the islanders cut off except for the occasional supply trip to the mainland."

That's why Hoi Toider is still alive to this day, although its speaking population has dwindled. Here are a few hallmark phrases of the unique dialect:

A 'dingbatter' is anyone not from the island; a tourist. An 'O'Cocker' is anyone born on the island of Ocracoke. A 'buck' is a good male friend, while a 'puck' is a female friend. The Brogue uses 'weren't' liberally for singular nouns ("The sun weren't out yesterday.") and frequently adds an 'a' in front of verbs ("We went a-fishin' this morning").

But to fully appreciate Hoi Toider, you've got to hear it in action:


  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Experts say, as awesome as the Brogue is, it will likely disappear within the next 50 years.

Though the island remains about as remote as it comes, in 2025 there's no escaping the influence of social media, television, and film. Every generation born on the island is a smidge less-adoptive of the Brogue than the one that came before.

It will probably be mostly gone in the next couple of generations, which feels like a tragedy. Instead of "dingbatter" and "buck," the kids will be saying "Skibidi toilet" and "rizz." OK, maybe that's an exaggeration, but young people growing up on the island won't be as immersed in the language as their elders and will begin to speak more and more like your average American.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

There's a concept called culture homogenization. It's the idea that over time, because of technology and globalization, unique individual cultures from around the world will all start to look more and more the same. It's why you see fast food restaurants directly next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa and people all over the globe listening to the same handful of musical artists.

Ocracoke has managed to hang on longer than most places due to how difficult it is to reach. Here's hoping that the Ocracoke Brogue can survive somehow, some way, in little pockets of the island. It's just too dang cool and interesting to go away just yet.

This article originally appeared in May.

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

  I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMAN  Giphy  

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

 embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication "Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

  Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk Show  Giphy  

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

  Embarrassed Hide GIF by flor  Giphy  

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

This article originally appeared in May.