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When his species was on the brink, one tortoise got busy.

This is Diego. A very happy 100-year-old tortoise.

Photo by Rodrigo Buenida/AFP/Getty Images.

He's originally from the San Diego Zoo (hence the name) and was brought to the Galapagos Islands in the 1977. He's been living there ever since.

What's he so happy about? Well, how do I put this...

Diego has — almost single-handedly — revived his nearly extinct species in the Galapagos Islands.

Yeah, the old shelled stud has been pretty busy.

"He's a very sexually active male reproducer," said Washington Tapia, a tortoise preservation specialist at Galapagos National Park. "He's contributed enormously to repopulating the island."

Diego taking a well-earned lunch break. Rodrigo Buenida/AFP/Getty Images.

Until very recently, Diego's species was in dire straits. For hundreds of years they were hunted for food by pirates and merchants, and before Diego's arrival in the islands, there were only 14 left.

Diego got to work, and it's estimated that he's fathered about 1,700 children so far.

"We did a genetic study and we discovered that he was the father of nearly 40 percent of the offspring released into the wild on Espanola," said Tapia.

Currently, he lives on Isla Santa Cruz with six females. And he'll likely live there for some time as his species can live well past 100.

Along with Diego's natural ... talents ... the revival of the Galapagos tortoise is thanks to some incredible work by conservationists around the world.

Organizations like the Galapagos Conservancy and the Charles Darwin Foundation have been hard at work for decades surveying, studying, and working to rescue endangered species on the Galapagos Islands.

A zookeeper weighs a Galapagos tortoise in London. Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images.

It's an appropriate place to do so, too. After all, the Galapagos Islands are where Charles Darwin first took note of the incredible diversity of Earth's creatures and how their appearances varied based on where they live. That observation would eventually lead to his Theory of Natural Selection — which is one of the founding principles for how we understand life and evolution today.

As far as Diego...

You can call him "sex mad" or a "ladies' man" or even "the most interesting giant tortoise in the world."

I'm going to call him the name he really deserves. Hero.

He's a hero who had the courage, the pluck, the outright valor to do what was right and save his species. Sure it was hard, but did Diego complain? No. Did he crawl back into his shell and cower from the challenge before him? No.

Diego, on the way to save his species. Rodrigo Buenida/AFP/Getty Images.

Diego kept his chin up and walked right into the danger. Slowly. Because he's a tortoise.

Frankly, we should all be a little more like Diego. I mean ... not exactly like Diego. Just, you know, in spirit. The whole "facing challenges" thing.  

Way to go, old fella.

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Education

A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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Mental Health

Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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These 4 words can keep a conversation flowing forever no matter how bad you are at small talk

There's literally no way to screw this up.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


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Simple '30-second rule' can help even awkward people appear to be brilliant conversationalists

Do this one thing early in the conversation and you'll be off and running.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

It's bold but true: There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

People who avoid small talk may believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page.

Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

couple, date, conversation, 30-second rule, chatting, encouragement, small talk A couple shares a pizza on a date. Credit: Danny Villegas/Pexels


What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King once said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

couple, date, conversation, 30-second rule, chatting, encouragement, small talkYou can do it!


Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

This article originally appeared in May. It has been updated.

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You only have to know 4 personality 'colors' to converse easily with just about anyone

When you know someone's color, you know how to relate.

via Vinh Giang/YouTube

Which of the 4 personality colors are you?

Do you struggle to communicate effectively with certain personalities? Are you on a totally different page from your boss who intimidates you (RED)? You can’t get a word in with your nephew, who never takes himself seriously (YELLOW)? Your spouse is reliable but always asking for more details and wants to overplan everything (BLUE)? Or does your BFF never have an opinion on anything (GREEN)?

The good news is that if certain people are frustrating to talk to, you’re not alone. In fact, according to Swedish behavioral expert Thomas Erikson, author of Surrounded By Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behaviour (or, how to Understand Those Who Cannot Be Understood), we have a hard time communicating with most people because we all have one of four communication personality types, and they often clash.

It’s great when you are, say, a BLUE talking to a BLUE and you both appreciate having a logical back-and-forth filled with plenty of details. However, if you’re a YELLOW and they’re a RED, you may find the person you’re speaking to is impatient and they think you are exasperating.


Let’s take a look at the four color personalities. Everyone is a combination of different colors, but everyone has a core language that they speak:

RED: (Dominant) Decisive, competitive, goal-oriented, and assertive. Focused on action and results.

GREEN: (Stable) Empathetic, patient, calm. Focused on cooperation, relationships, and harmony.

BLUE: (Analytical) Precise, cautious, detail-oriented. Focused on accuracy, structure, and logic.

YELLOW: (Inspiring) Persuasive, sociable, enthusiastic. Focused on fun, recognition, and creativity.

Which of the 4 personality colors are you?

If, after reading the description, you’re not entirely sure which color you are, take this free quiz here.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Communications Expert Vinh Giang explained how to interact with the different colors on his YouTube page. "Now, I'm not telling you to change the essence of who you are,” Giang says. “I'm telling you that if you want to be a more effective communicator, you need to learn how to adjust your delivery and speak in their communication style so that you can connect better with them.”

Here’s how he explains talking to different colors (text has been edited for length and clarity):

RED:

Ensure you are direct, decisive, and confident, and use frameworks effectively when communicating. They love the frameworks because they will help you become clearer, concise, and coherent. They respect speed, clarity, and results. So, skip the fluff and focus on the outcome.

YELLOW:

Be enthusiastic, positive, and engaging. Don't say, "Let me give you a five-hour tutorial exactly on how to use this particular camera," instead of that, say, "Hey, just hit the record button. Have some fun. Go work it out as you go. You're going to love it." Why do this? Well, because they thrive on energy, ideas, and stories. Keep it light. Keep it fun. Keep it creative. Let them roam free.

GREEN:

Be calm, patient, and supportive. Don't say, "We need to make this change right now. Now, now, now, now, now." Say instead, "Hey, listen. I know this is a shift, but we'll move at a pace that feels comfortable for you, and I'm going to support you all the way through it." Greens value harmony and reliability. So, slow down, listen, and avoid pushing too hard too fast.

BLUE:

Be precise, structured, and factual. Don't say, "Don't worry about the details. Just trust me." Instead, say, "Here's all the data, and here's the step-by-step plan that I've created from the data, and I want to give it to you so you can do a quick double check if you want." Do you notice the subtle change there for the blue? They care about accuracy and process.

meeting, business, laptops, speech, looking at you People looking at you while you make a speech.via Canva/Photos

While some people may feel they are being inauthentic by changing their communication style based on other people’s core personality colors, Giang reminds us that the best communicators can tailor their message to their audience.

“Masterful communicators meet people where they are and make the connection effortless,” Giang says. “We often hear the phrase, ‘Be yourself.’ And yes, look, that is true to a certain extent. But if you want to truly connect with others, you also have to learn to be dynamic like water. You adapt to the shape of the vessel that you're poured into.”

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