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Next Time You Eat A Banana, Remember This Girl's Amazing (And Successful) Experiment

Do you ever look around the place you live and get totally bummed out by all the pollution? Well, that's what was happening to Elif. So like a total BAMF, she said: "Oh I know, I'll just invent a more eco-friendly way to make plastic! It's not like I'm just a teenager who's still in high school or anything. No biggie." (I'm paraphrasing, OK, but seriously just see how awesome this girl is.)

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

Joy

17 life hacks that are 'so good' people almost didn't want to share. But thankfully, they did.

Some tricks for winning arguments, stopping Karens, and finding your car keys.

A man and woman flirting at a party.

Have you ever had a secret trick that you didn’t want to share with anyone? Some families have recipes they are sworn never to share with outsiders. Other folks have tricks they use at work that give them a competitive advantage that could be used against them if they let it out of the bag. Other people use secret techniques to be likable but fear being seen as manipulative if they share them.

Everyone has their own “secret sauce” that makes them unique. A couple of hundred of them were very kind and shared those secret life hacks on a recent social media post where someone asked, “What’s a life hack so good you almost don’t want to share it?” They received over 3500 responses, and we culled the best from them to make our readers’ lives easier.

The advice covers everything from how to win an argument to finding precious metals at your local second-hand store. The life hacks that are “so good” also include ways to prevent potentially aggravating people from getting in your face and the power of learning how to smile.



Here are 17 life hacks that are “so good” that people almost didn’t want to share them. (Thankfully, they did.)

1. That's where it goes

"If you look for something and it's not in the first place you look, THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE IT GOES. So when you find it, put it in the first place you looked for it."

2. How to argue (from a lawyer)

"When arguing about something, ask what their interests ('why' they want/don’t want something) are rather than their position. Usually, it’s easier to come to an agreement if you approach a conflict from this angle. Also, conceding a minor point during the argument 'you’re right about x' and 'I don’t disagree with y' tends to lessen the guard of your opposition and thus making it easier to get what you want out of them."

"I just saw something similar to this. If you and another person are arguing over who gets a lemon, you’ll eventually agree to just cut it in half. But if you ask why they want the lemon, you’ll find out one person wants to juice it and one person wants the skin for zest for a recipe, so each party can have 100% of what they want if they just take the time to see the 'why' of the other person."

"Whenever arguing with someone and it's going round and round trying to come up with a compromise, ask 'what does a solution look like to you?' Half the time they got no clue the other half is something you willing to compromise. It has cut down every single argument in my relationship."


3. How to stop a 'Karen' in their tracks

"I work as a receptionist, and my supervisor always asks me how our guests like me even if they are rude to other staff. My trick is when someone is checking in that looks like a typical Karen I always give them a compliment like 'where did you get your nails done? They are so pretty!' It usually works."

"I used be in maintenance for a huge school district. Whenever I was sent to a school where the office staff had a reputation for being cranky complainy crabby pants, I had a whole song and dance I'd run through when I got there. I'd walk into the office with a big smile, acting like the nicest person in the world, just a big dumb puppy who has no idea this is a "crabby admin" school. Then, when the timing is right, I'd let slip the casual comment of 'I really like coming to this school, everyone is so nice!' It's like a magic spell. The grumpuses always tried to live up to my unrealistic view of them, and were always at least reasonable, if not downright pleasant. It always felt like cheating, but really all I was doing was setting an example they wanted to follow."

4. Buy the same socks

"Find a pair of socks you really like. Buy like.... 40 pairs. Throw out your other socks. Now you can just grab any two socks and have a pair. Get a hole in one? Throw it out. You still have tons of others of the same."



5. The 3 hobbies rules

"I was thinking about what I need to be happy, and came to the conclusion that I need 3 hobbies: one creative, one physical, and one social. For social, I do board game nights weekly. This ensures I have something planned for the week to look forward to. For physical, I go to the gym, which, to be honest, I hate and have always hated, so I took up bouldering too. This is a great hobby because it can also be very social, and it's also just fun. And for creative, I dabble in things like drawing, knitting, and other needlework. I also throw in reading here too, because it can make you think and imagine. If you play D&D, this can also combine with social. I've been extremely happy since figuring out for myself. I've always had a list of hobbies I want to try, but this helps me organize them."

6. Learn how to smile

"A genuine looking— and I say looking because it doesn’t need to actually be genuine, smile. It will disarm people making them more comfortable around you, you’ll be more likely to get dates, you’ll be more likely to get jobs, you’ll be more likely to make friends, your dating profile will look better, your wedding pics will look better, hell your social media will look better. Learn how to smile. Look it up on YouTube."



7. The bathroom test

"Being in the restaurant business for over 20 years now, if you go into a restaurant and their bathrooms are dirty, then get out of there. It means most likely, of course, not always, that their kitchen is just as dirty. If the general manager doesn’t care about what the guests can see, he’s definitely not caring about what the guest can’t see and that gets you such a higher chance of food poisoning."

8. Wake up a little earlier

"Getting up consistently to start your day at a reasonable hour - regardless of intent to go anywhere or do anything - really does give you extra time in the week to get sh*t done."

9. How to make someone like you

"To get someone to like you, ask them two questions, then after the second one, validate their response. Repeat. That's it. It's alarmingly effective. Just ask them any question about something they seem like they might want to talk about. hobbies or job or whatever. if you dont know anything about them, ask about the best place they've traveled, or would like to go if they haven't traveled. then, whatever they say, just ask a follow-up question about it. Then whatever they say to that, just say something positive that supports their opinion. it can be as simple as 'that seems really cool' or something more specific that shows you've been listening and agree/support them."

10. Visualize your life

"Ask yourself what your ideal happy life would look like, and then isolate each aspect as an objective to work towards, always breaking down larger goals into smaller doable steps. Makes things seem less daunting and gives you feasable objectives to work towards."



11. Know the goal of the conversation

"Before entering any difficult conversation, conflict, apology, request, etc, you should know what your goal of the conversation for yourself is. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want this interaction to end? How do you want both parties to be left feeling? Know this first, then practice running both sides in your head a few times. Crucially, this prepares you direct the conversation for the outcome you want, instead of just saying what you really want say. Know your goal, and you’re way more likely to reach it."

12. Thrift store jewelry

"Second-hand shops—check the jewelry because, funnily enough, the volunteers working there probably don't know much about gold. I make a fair good chunk of cash a year going through jewelry at thrift stores."

13. Bake bacon

"Piece of parchment paper over any type of pan. Bam, no mess. People boiling it in skillets on the stove are living in the stone age."



14. How to talk to new people

"When the conversation starts to die or needs a pick me up, ask what the people around you did that day. It sounds really simple, but not a lot of people get asked this question regularly, so it’s likely you’ll get a genuine answer and make the person feel like you’re interested and invested. This is my hack for work events, family you haven’t seen in ages, or a friend of a friend you just met and your mutual friend just left you two alone. I think it’s safe to assume it would be a good icebreaker on a first date as well."

15. Self-control through pain

"The only thing in control of your mind and body is you. Go stand out in the rain and fight the instinct to flee inside. Find your zen. Overcome your base instincts and then figure out how to apply them to the rest of your life. Hunger, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc, all things to overcome, master, and control."

16. Easy investment

"Invest (a portion of ) every paycheck into an S&P 500 index fund. It’s easy, the fees are incredibly low (nobody seems to understand mutual funds that are not index charge a fee! and if you do it consistently you will end up with money. Proven through depressions, recessions, and large-scale wars. That is all."

17. Know their name

"When a customer service person (finally) answers the phone and says 'my name is [NAME], [something something] how can I help you?' I make a note of their name and say, "Hi [NAME], how's it going/how are you doing?" in a friendly, conversational tone before introducing myself & my issue. Customer service is a soulless job and involves dealing with a lot of belligerent people, so setting the tone and establishing a rapport by mentioning their names makes it a little more personal and tends to lead to better outcomes. Can probably expand this to all interactions, tbh."

This article originally appeared in January.

The Gardiner Brothers stepping in time to Beyoncé's "Texas Hold 'Em."

In early February 2024, Beyoncé rocked the music world by releasing a surprise new album of country tunes. The album, Renaissance: Act II, includes a song called "Texas Hold 'Em," which shot up the country charts—with a few bumps along the way—and landed Queen Bey at the No.1 spot.

As the first Black female artist to have a song hit No. 1 on Billboard's country music charts, Beyoncé once again proved her popularity, versatility, and ability to break barriers without missing a beat. In one fell swoop, she got people who had zero interest in country music to give it a second look, forced country music fans to broaden their own ideas about what country music looks like, prompted conversations about bending and blending musical genres and styles, and gave the Internet a crash course on the Black roots of country music.

And she inspired the Gardiner Brothers to add yet another element to the mix—Irish step dance.

In a TikTok that's been viewed over 42 million times, the Gardiner Brothers don cowboy hats while they step in time to "Texas Hold 'Em," much to the delight of viewers everywhere.

Watch:

@gardinerbrothers

Beyoncé 🤝 Irish dancing #beyonce #countrymusic

Michael and Matthew Gardiner are professional Irish-American step dancers and choreographers who have gained international fame with their award-winning performances. They've also built a following of millions on social media with videos like this one, where they dance to popular songs, usually in an outdoor environment.

The melding of Irish dance with country music sung by a Black American female artist may seem unlikely, but it could be viewed merely as country music coming back to its roots. As mentioned, country music has roots in Black culture and tradition. One major staple of the country music genre, the banjo, was created by enslaved Africans and their descendants during the colonial era, according to The Smithsonian. The genre also has deep roots in the ballad tradition of the Irish, English and Scottish settlers in the Appalachian region of the U.S. Despite modern country music's struggle to break free from "music for white people" stereotypes, it's much more diverse than many realize or care to admit, and Queen Bey is simply following tradition.

banjo, country music, country, roots, genreMan playing banjo.Canva Photos

People are loving the blending of genres and culture that the TikTok exemplifies.

"Never thought I’d see Irish step dancing while Beyoncé sings country," wrote on commenter. "My life is complete. ♥️"

"So happy Beyoncé dropped this song and exposed my timeline to diversified talent 👏🏽👏🏽," wrote another.

"Beyoncé brought the world together with this song 😭," offered another person.

"Ayeeee Irish Dancing has entered the BeyHive chatroom… WELCOME!! 🔥🔥🔥" exclaimed another.

"I don’t think I can explain how many of my interests are intersecting here," wrote one commenter, reflecting what several others shared as well.

The Beyoncé/Gardiner Brothers combo and the reactions to it are a good reminder that none of us fit into one box of interest or identity. We're all an eclectic mix of tastes and styles, so we can almost always find a way to connect with others over something we enjoy. What better way to be reminded of that fact than through an unexpected mashup that blends the magic of music with the delight of dance? Truly, the arts are a powerful uniting force we should utilize more often.

And for an extra bit of fun, the Gardiner Brothers also shared their bloopers from filming the video. Turns out stepping in the rain isn't as easy as they make it look.

@gardinerbrothers

Beyoncé Bloopers #texasholdem #gardinerbrothers

This article originally appeared last year.

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

This article originally appeared in January

3-year-old demands her mom help to find her a husband

Kids listen to everything parents say, even when their parents aren't talking to them. You don't have to be a parent to witness or experience this adorable and sometimes hilarious parroting. A toddler repeating a swear word in their tiny baby voice will almost always fill a room with laughter and a little embarrassment for the parent.

It's how kids learn about the world around them because parents are their first teachers even when they're not attempting to be. But there are some things that you don't quite expect kids to pick up on until a little later in life so it may catch you a little off guard. Tasha Mahachi, a mom of a 3-year-old little girl, Sanaa, found herself slightly confused when her daughter exclaimed that she needed a husband. No, she wasn't saying the mom needs a husband, she already has one.

Sanaa declared that she wanted her own husband after overhearing Mahachi refer to the little girl's dad as her husband while speaking to someone else. Explaining why a 3-year-old can't have a husband to an emotional small child desperate for a husband–a pink husband to be specific.

flying pink man GIFGiphy

Mahachi shared the adorable interaction on her social media page where it racked up over 246K views. In the video, Sanaa is seen stamping her foot, clearly a bit annoyed on repeating the question. Her frustration grows after her mom breaks the news that the little girl doesn't have a husband.

"I want a husband," Sanaa whines while stomping her feet before Mahachi asks what kind of husband the preschooler wants. That's when she reveals the difficult order, "pink." Yes, Sanaa wants a pink husband. It's really not too much to ask when you think about it...when you're three. But the problem really comes into play once Sanaa stops having a small tantrum long enough for Mahachi to inform her that if she wants a husband she will have to go find one outside.

Sol Solana GIF by Bill the BearGiphy

"I not going outside," she says while pleading her case, "it's dark."

Not going outside would be a bit of a barrier to finding a husband and you can see the little wheels turning in Sanaa's head as she works out how she will collect a pink husband. So, she does what any three year old would do who wants to go outside, she asks her mom to come with her. Again she's thwarted when Mahachi breaks the news that moms and dads don't go outside to help find husbands. The pair have reached an impasse. Viewers couldn't get enough of the amusing interaction and some could relate to the girl's dilemma.


@tashamahachi She heard me calling her dad my husband and suddenly she’s desperate to get herself one too😂 #toddlersbelike #toddlerconversations #sanaaandmummy ♬ original sound - Tasha

"Ma’am go on Amazon and order her a pink husband right neowww," someone jokes.

"We can all relate. To wanting a husband, to not wanting to go outside to find him, to being scared, oh baby we get it," another laughs.

"This is what a convo between me and God sound like praying for a husband meanwhile I’m scared to meet new people, I don’t go out and i always take my best friend everywhere," one person confesses.

Looking Rachel Lindsay GIF by The BacheloretteGiphy

"I’ve never related more to a toddler. Cuz sis I’m also scared & do not want to go outside & also want a husband RN [right now]," another commenter chimes in.

"It's okay kiddo. I don't want to leave the house to find one by myself either. It's scary," someone else proclaims.

Well, Sanaa, it seems like you're not alone. Plenty of people want a husband to find them without ever having to leave the house to interact with others. Maybe ordering a pink husband online doesn't sound so silly after all.

This article originally appeared in January