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How Does A Chimp Thank Its Savior After Being Freed? With A Heart-Crushing Hug (3 Minutes In).
This is story of Wounda, one of the hundreds of chimpanzees that live at Jane Goodall's rehabilitation center in the Republic of Congo.
02.21.14
The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.
Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.
And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.”
This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.
“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.
Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.
About the women:
Mabinty
Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.
Kadiatu
Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.
Isatu
When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.
Zainab
Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.
Adama
Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.
Ya Yaebo
“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.
On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.
Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.
Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.
Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.
But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.
The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.
Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.
First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."
Toilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)
Elya/Wikimedia Commons
So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.
"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."
Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.
Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.
And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."
Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.
But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.
The toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.
Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.
If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.
That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.
Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.
What was meant as a joke felt all too real to moms responsible for creating holiday magic.
Back in 2021, wife and mom Aubree Jones posted a video to her TikTok that she thought would provide a relatable chuckle among other moms.
Instead, other moms found it heartbreaking.
In the clip, titled “PSA for husbands everywhere,” Aubree’s husband, Josh, is filming their family unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. He goes around to each of the family members’ stockings, until he comes upon an empty one.
“Whose is this?” Josh asks. “Is this an extra one?”
Aubree answers, “No, that’s mine,” with a smile.
Josh then asks why the stocking is empty, to which Aubree quips, “I don’t know. Santa didn’t come for me.”
“It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time,” Aubree captioned, adding “your wife’s stocking is your responsibility."
Considering Aubree meant for the video to be a “lighthearted thing to show what moms go through," as she told TODAY.com, she was totally taken aback by the visceral, negative reactions to it.
Many noted it wasn’t just Josh’s act of forgetting to fill his wife’s stocking that was hurtful, but then simply laughing it off after realizing the neglect.
“She laughs. But I knew inside it hurt,”the top comment read.
Another person wrote, “all of us women felt that in our stomach. It hurt.”
@whataboutaub It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time. @Josh Jones #marriedlife #marriage #husbandsoftiktok #fail #ohno #christmas #psa #pregnant ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
Here are a few more:
“I got a bit teary.. you can tell there is some pain behind the ‘that’s mine.’”
"The little girl in her felt so left out."
“Not just the lack of gifts. The lack of thought…”
“Believe me, she wanted to cry, not laugh.”
"This is a good example that mom does all the stuff and nobody notices."
"I would’ve been divorced.
"This literally broke my heart."
Though Aubree assured TODAY.com that her marriage dynamic was nowhere near as unhealthy as the video made it seem (she even went so far so to send a follow-up video showing how he actually did give her thoughtful Christmas gifts) her video highlighted a sad reality many moms face during the holidays.
When creating all the magic of the season—the decor, the gifts, the foods, the social plans, the outfits for the Christmas card, coming up with bigger and better Elf on the Shelf position etc., etc, etc., etc., etc., all the etc. 's—fall solely on their shoulders, many moms are robbed of the chance to actually enjoy it themselves.
So much has improved in terms of marriage equality, but it would be naive to think that there aren’t still ways that moms are often expected to pull off herculean feats in order for their families to enjoy the fruits of their labor, all the while juggling multiple other responsibilities, and still not fully being seen.
If moms are moving heaven and earth to make sure their families feel loved this holiday season, let’s make sure we are doing the same for them. The way everyone gets some Christmas joy.
This article originally appeared on 12.21.23
Psychologist Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling and it makes perfect sense.
We're about to wrap up year three of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on.
Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Despite the fact that COVID-19 is still wreaking havoc, we've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.
But why?
Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense.
In a post on Facebook, she wrote:
"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…
No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…
We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…
And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…
Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…
We can’t.
And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…
So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.
Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).
Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…
Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.
Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."
Putting it like that, of course we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness so they dive fully back into life, only to crash mid-day because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.
Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.
So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.
You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.
This article originally appeared on 12.23.22
Some moms in their 40s feel like they were lied to about what their "resume gap" would mean.
A few generations ago, parents had pretty clearly defined roles, with the dad generally being the breadwinner and the mom being the homemaker/stay-at-home mother. Then women's rights movement came along, empowering women in the workplace, ushering in the era of two working parents and producing an entire generation of "latchkey kids."
Now those Gen X latchkey kids are parenting Gen Z, with the pendulum of working motherhood having swung somewhat to the middle. We were raised to believe we could be anything we dreamed of being and that we didn't have to choose between being a mom and having a career. Gen X also became mothers during the heyday of parenting self-help books that impressed upon us the importance of attachment and hands-on childrearing, as well as the era of super-scheduled kids, whose activities alone require a full-time manager.
As a result, those of us in our 40s have raised our kids straddling two worlds—the one where women can have all of the career success we desire and the one where we can choose to be stay-at-home moms who do all the things. At first, we were told we could have it all, but when the impossibility of that became clear, we were told, "Well, you can have it all, just not at the same time."
But as many moms are finding as their kids start leaving the nest, even that isn't the full truth.
A Facebook post by Karen Johnson, aka The 21st Century SAHM (short for "stay-at-home mom") nails the reality many stay-at-home moms in their 40s are facing as they find themselves floundering with the glaring gap in their resumes.
"This is for all the moms in their 40s who put their careers on hold to do the SAHM thing because you knew you couldn't do both—career you loved and motherhood—and do both WELL, so you picked, saying to yourself 'this is just for now and we'll see,'" Johnson wrote. "But now it's 15 years later and so much has changed in your career field that you know you can't go back. So really, when you 'took a break' all those years ago, you gave it up."
Johnson explained that yes, moms know they should be grateful for the time they've had with their kids. Most are. That's not the issue. Whether a woman chose to be a stay-at-home mom because she really wanted to or because childcare costs didn't work in the financial equation of the family, the transition out of it feels like completely uncharted waters.
"Okay, so you're looking for a 'career' with part-time hours and a 100% flexible schedule because you're still Mom-on-duty but you do have *just* enough hours during the day to reflect on the fact that you *do* have a college degree (maybe even 2) and although being a mom is the greatest and most important job in the world, you *might* actually want something more to your life than folding laundry and running hangry children to 900 events and remembering that they're all due for dental cleanings," she wrote.
Yup. The "default parent" role is real and weighted heavily toward moms as it is. For stay-at-home moms, it's 100% expected, and that doesn't suddenly end when it's time to start thinking about joining the workforce again.
And, of course, moms barely have time to try to figure all of this out. So, as Johnson says, "But for now, you cram yourself into the only pair of jeans you have right now that fit and find a t-shirt on the floor that isn't clean but isn't dirty and will pass for the 4 hours of mom-taxiing you're about to do and you tell yourself, 'I'll figure it out another day. Right now, I gotta get the kids to practice.'" Oof.
Johnson's entire post is worth a read, as it resonates with so many women at this stage of life. But just as telling are the comments from women who not only see themselves in Johnson's description but who feel like they were sold a bill of goods early in their motherhood. So many of us were led to believe that the skills and experiences of managing a family would be valued in the workplace simply because they should be and that the gap in their resume wouldn't matter.
"This hits hard. I am right there too. And all those volunteer hours & leadership positions people said would look good on my resume when I once again applied for jobs? Those people all lied. It means squat," wrote one person.
"Thank you! You spoke my heart. 42 this year, resigned from teaching almost 12 years ago, and never been more confused about my personal future, or exhausted in my present," shared another.
"I’ve never related to a post more in my life! THANK YOU. Your words perfectly summarize the loneliest, most important job in the world and how that perspective shifts in your 40s. It is confusingly beautiful," wrote another.
There is hope in the comments, too. Some moms have chosen to see their post-stay-at-home era as a fresh start to learn something new, which might lend some inspiration to others.
"I went back for my master’s degree at 47 years old. I’m now 50 in a new career I love and my husband is doing just fine pulling his weight with after school/carpool/dinner. Happy for the years I stayed home, happy with this new season too," shared one person.
"Yuuuup. I decided to go back to grad school at 45. It’s insane but every term I complete I’m like - omg I’m doing it! So don’t let sweaty out of shape bodies and carpool fatigue stop you. I take naps and write grad school papers and have meltdowns where I cry from the frustration of it all - but dammit I’m doing it!" wrote another.
One mom who is past this stage also offered some words of encouragement:
"So incredibly well written. I feel all these things and did throughout my 40s. Now I'm in my early '50s and I'm so glad I was able to stay home with my kids, but the guilt! The guilt of not using my education, the judgment of people who don't understand why someone would stay home with their kids, the social engineering... We just eat each other alive sometimes don't we? I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is a very lonely road and one you always question. I can tell you that all three of my kids were so grateful to have a full-time parent. I might not have always been the best, but they were glad to always have someone to talk to if they needed it. It's hard to fill other people's buckets when your bucket isn't full, but the rewards do come back when the kids tell you thank you for everything that you've done. "
Being a mom is hard, period. Working moms have it hard, stay-at-home moms have it hard, moms who have managed to keep one foot in the career door and one foot in the home have it hard. There's a lot that society could do to support moms more no matter what path they choose (or find themselves on—it's not always a conscious choice), from providing paid maternity leave to greater flexibility with work schedules to retirement plans that account for time away from the workplace. Perhaps that would at least make the many choices moms have today feel more like freedom and less like choosing between a rock and a hard place.
This article originally appeared on 9.27.23
"What a way to remind us to live a virtuous life."
People always say that humans don't deserve dogs. When we welcome these four-legged fur balls in our lives we're usually met with infinite tail wags and doggy kisses. It seems like they never experience a bad day, even when they may have been sent to time out for eating a hole in the linoleum floor. As soon as you greet them, they're still happy to see you, no matter what.
Mihira Guha, also known as Mia, is a little girl that looks to be around five years old and has got dogs figured out. Recently, her mom uploaded a video to social media of Mia explaining why she thinks humans live longer than dogs. It was deeply profound for a little one that young and it came down to dogs and their innate happiness.
The little girl is sitting on her bed playing with plastic pieces that connect in multiple ways when she shocks her mom and the rest of the internet with her reasoning about the lifespan of dogs.
"Humans live a long life than dogs because they have so long. They have to learn a lot of things," Mia says, when her mom asks who has to do the learning, the girl quickly answers. "Humans. Like not to hate people, not to be jealous, always loving people, be kind, live a happy life."
When questioned on why dogs don't have to live a long life, Mia, seemingly exasperated, says, "have you ever seen a sad dog?"
She's right, you don't see a sad dog often, especially when their needs are being met. It was a bit shocking to see how her little brain processed and articulated such a higher level of understanding about the human experience in comparison to dogs and correlate it with the contrast of lifespans between the two species. Could Mia be a tiny philosophy genius? Commenters loved her explanation.
"She is right. I love when children are still aware of their souls wisdom. Thank you for sharing this lovely child," one person says.
"How profound this is shouldn't be lost in the simplicity of her adorable delivery, wow kid. She's so special," another writes.
"Oh Mia. So little, yet so wise 😍.What a way to remind us to live a virtuous life," a commenter compliments.
Someone get this girl a notebook, some eager to learn students and an apple tree to sit under, she's got some things to teach the world. You can join little Mia's philosophy lesson below.
Now you can get all of the meat.
In a world where grocery prices are still sky-high, one deal that you can get at just about any grocery store is a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken. In some places, you can get one for as low as $4.99 and they have enough meat on ‘em to feed a small family (with some sides, of course).
The trick to getting the most out of your reasonably priced chicken is ensuring no meat is left on the bone. That’s where a TikTokker named Katie R. comes in. She recently shared an easy technique that’ll help you remove all the meat from the bone, and the video was clearly a big help; it's received over 6.8 million views.
Here’s how it’s done: Place the chicken in a plastic freezer bag while it is still warm. Then, give the chicken a good massage, rubbing the meat out of the bones. Flip the bag over a few times, keep rubbing, and the meat will be separated from the bones in a few minutes.
Now you’re ready to make shredded chicken tacos.
@katierreames #debonechickenhack #rotisseriechicken
One important note: When you’re done, be sure to thoroughly remove any small bones trapped among the shredded chicken.
The commenters loved the video, but a few joked that they never get to the point where they need to debone the chicken because they eat it while they’re still in the store. "Wait.. we’re not eating the whole thing while we shop ?" FaKup wrote. "Wait! We’re not eating the whole thing while picking up the groceries? Cause I thought that’s what it was for… just a snacky snack," Shannon added.