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'Your Marriage Is Against The Bible,' They Said To A Man And A Woman 50 Years Ago (Yes, Really!)

It wasn't all that long ago that another form of marriage was against the law in several states. And, according to some, against the Bible.

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

Identity

10 common phrases that you may not know have racist origins

A lot of the American lexicon has a dubious past.

via Pedro da Casa/X

10 commonly used phrases that have racist origins.

As much as we'd like to pretend every phrase we utter is a lone star suspended in the space of our own genius, all language has a history. Unfortunately, given humanity's aptitude for treating each other like sh*t, etymology is fraught with reminders of our very racist world. Since I have faith that most of you reading want to navigate the world with intelligence and empathy, I figured it'd be useful to share some of the everyday phrases rooted in racist etymology.

Knowledge is power, and the way we use and contextualize our words can make a huge difference in the atmosphere we create.

1. Thug

According to Meriam-Webster's dictionary definition, a thug is "a violent criminal." Obviously, this definition leaves the word open to define people of all ethnicities.

However, given the frequent ways this word has been used to describe Black Lives Matter protesters, the 17-year-old murder victim Trayvon Martin, and sadly, almost every black victim of police brutality — there is an undeniable racial charge to the word.

When you consider the people who are called thugs — groups of black protesters, victims of racist violence, teenagers minding their own business, and flip the racial element, you'd be hard-pressed to find examples of white people being called thugs in earnest by the media (or really by anyone).

Several prominent activists and black writers have written about the phenomenon of thug replacing the n-word in modern culture. In a popular press conference back in 2014, the Seattle Seahawks player Richard Sherman explained his feelings about the word.

"The reason it bothers me is because it seems like it's an accepted way of calling somebody the N-word now. It's like everybody else said the N-word and then they say 'thug' and that's fine. It kind of takes me aback and it's kind of disappointing because they know," Sherman said.


If you're talking about an actual criminal, there are so many descriptive words to invoke besides "thug." Given its current use as a negative, racially-coded word, avoiding its use seems like an easy and obvious move.

2. Grandfather Clause

When most of us hear the term "grandfather clause" we just think of the generalized description: a person or entity that is allowed to continue operating over now expired rules. But the literal meaning reveals the "grandfather clause" was a racist post-Reconstruction political strategy.

This is the historical definition, according to Encyclopedia Britannica:

"Grandfather clause, statutory or constitutional device enacted by seven Southern states between 1895 and 1910 to deny suffrage to African Americans. It provided that those who had enjoyed the right to vote prior to 1866 or 1867, or their lineal descendants, would be exempt from educational, property, or tax requirements for voting. Because the former slaves had not been granted the franchise until the adoption of the Fifteenth Amendment in 1870, those clauses worked effectively to exclude black people from the vote but assured the franchise to many impoverished and illiterate whites."

In modern speak, this basically meant the Grandfather Clause let white people off the hook for new voting requirements because their ancestors were already registered voters. Meanwhile, black people were required to fill out impossible literacy tests and pay exorbitant poll taxes to vote. This in turn, meant many black people were unable to vote, while white people weren't held to the same standard.

3. Gypsy or "Gyp"

The word "Gypsy" was (and is) a racial slur referring to the Roma people. The Roma people are descendants of Northern India who, due to severe marginalization and threats of violence by others, lived a nomadic lifestyle of forced migration for centuries.

During a fraught history, Roma people were taken as slaves in Romania and were targeted for genocide by the Nazis.

The word "Gypsy" is a slang word perpetuating stereotypes of Roma people as "thieves, rowdies, dirty, immoral, con-men, asocials, and work-shy" according to the Council of Europe.

In a similar vein, the term "Gyp" or "getting gypped" means to cheat or get conned, and many connect this meaning as another racist extension of Gypsy.

4. No Can Do

According to the Oxford Dictionary, the very common phrase "no can do" was originally made popular as a way to make fun of Chinese immigrants.

"The widespread use of the phrase in English today has obscured its origin: what might seem like folksy, abbreviated version of I can’t do it is actually an imitation of Chinese Pidgin English. The phrase dates from the mid-19th to early-20th centuries, an era when Western attitudes towards the Chinese were markedly racist."

5. Sold Down The River

Upon first hearing, many people associate the phrase "sold down the river" with the notion of being betrayed, lied to, or otherwise screwed over. While these definitions all technically apply to the origin, the root of this phrase is much more bleak.

According to a report from NPR, being "sold down the river" was a literal reference to slavery, and the families that were torn apart in the south.

"River" was a literal reference to the Mississippi or Ohio rivers. For much of the first half of the 19th century, Louisville, Ky., was one of the largest slave-trading marketplaces in the country. Slaves would be taken to Louisville to be "sold down the river" and transported to the cotton plantations in states further south.

This heavy connotation sadly makes sense, but also makes casual use of the phrase feel way more cringe-inducing.

6. Welfare Queen


The term "welfare queen" was first popularized by Ronald Reagan's 1976 presidential campaign in which he repeatedly painted a picture of a Cadillac-driving welfare queen.

This straw woman in Reagan's campaign served as a racially-charged exaggeration of one minor case of real welfare fraud used to pedal his platform for welfare reform.

Needless to say, the term has sadly lived on as a racially-charged vehicle used to undermine the importance of welfare programs, while peddling gross stereotypes about black women.

On top of all the other offenses, this stereotype is of course ignoring the fact that poor white Americans receive the most welfare out of any economically-disadvantaged demographic.

7. Shuck And Jive

The term shuck and jive is both common and very obviously rooted in the language of slavery.

According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, the phrase shuck and jive refers to:

"The fact that black slaves sang and shouted gleefully during corn-shucking season, and this behavior, along with lying and teasing, became a part of the protective and evasive behavior normally adopted towards white people in ' traditional' race relations."

Likewise, the modern usage of this phrase refers to pandering, selling out, or instances in which black people go along with racist white people's wishes. Again, not a phrase to be thrown around lightly.


8. Long Time No See

The very commonly used greeting "long time no see" first became popular as a way to make fun of Native Americans. The phrase was used as a way to mock a traditional greeting exchanged between Native Americans.

This is the official definition, according to the Oxford Dictionary:

"Long Time No See was originally meant as a humorous interpretation of a Native American greeting, used after a prolonged separation. The current earliest citation recorded in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) comes from W.F. Drannan’s book Thirty-one Years on Plains (1901): ‘When we rode up to him [sc. an American Indian] he said: ‘Good mornin. Long time no see you’."

The act of committing genocide is not limited to human lives, but also translates to a normalized cultural violence. Deconstructing, mocking, and erasing someone's language contributes to this pattern of colonialism.

9. The Peanut Gallery

Most modern uses of the term "the peanut gallery" is in reference to a group of people who needlessly criticize or mocking another person. However, the historical roots of this term are much more racist and painful.

Originally, this term referred to the balconies in segregated theaters where black people were forced to sit. The nickname "peanut" was given due to the fact that peanuts were introduced to America at the same time as the slave trade. Because of this, there was a connection drawn between black people and peanuts.


10. Uppity

As of now, the word "uppity" is often used as a synonym for "stuck up" or "pretentious" or "conceited." But the roots of the word are far more specific and racist.

The word Uppity was first used by Southerners to refer to slaves who did not fall into line, or acted as if they "didn't know their place."

So, basically, any black person who overtly stood up to racism. Given the heaviness of this origin, it seems best to leave this word at home when looking to describe a pretentious acquaintance.

Sadly, given our ugly history, there are many more words and phrases I could add to this list. In the meantime, hopefully this list is helpful for navigating the racism innate in our language.

11. (Bonus) Master bedroom/bathroom

In the plantation days, the owner of the slaves was known as the master. Therefore, when people refer to master bedrooms and bathrooms in the home, usually the most spacious ones, they evoke imagery from the slave era. That's why numerous real estate companies across the United States now prefer to use the term "primary" when referring to these rooms.

The article was originally published by our partners at someecards and was written by Bronwyn Isacc. It originally appeared six years ago.

Images via Canva

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

When winter comes around, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned, and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and was sharing her videos on TikTok, but it seems her account has since been deactivated. This hasn't stopped people from talking about her and her impressive project, though. This thread on TikTok contains updates about the cat hotel from people finding and reposting the adorable story.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


Cats live where they want when they want

cats, stray cats, pet cats, felines, kittiesKitten snuggled in a person's arms. Image via Canva.

Those people may have been joking, but several others shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

cats, stray cats, feeding cats, feral cats, shelter catsCats eating kibble on the street.Image via Canva

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. According to Catster, in the United States alone, an estimated four billion birds and 22 billion mammals (such as mice, voles, rabbits, and shrews) are killed annually by both domestic and stray cats. In Canada, cats are the number one of killer of birds, killing "between 100 and 350 million birds every year." These numbers are staggering, but the bird and small mammal populations can be protected if stray cats are cared for responsibly: namely, spaying and neutering those in your area to cut down on the population and finding homes for those who are friendly and comfortable with humans.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So, go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Family

After his wife died, he found a secret letter she'd hidden from him for 56 years

Tony Trapani didn't waste time wondering what might have been if he'd found the letter sooner.

via SHVETS production/Pexels and Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels
Tony Trapani discovers a letter his wife hid from him since 1959.

Young people today will never know the agony and excitement of writing and mailing a letter. You had to choose your words carefully and say everything you wanted to say. Once you sent it off, there was no way to be sure it was delivered. No way to know if it had been opened or read. You couldn't take it back or send it again. You just put it in the mailbox and hoped for the best. It was excruciating and magical all at the same time.

One story of a letter never delivered has captured the hearts of readers everywhere. A heart-warming local news story gone viral for the best reasons.

Tony Trapani and his wife were married for 50 years despite the heartache of being unable to have children. "She wanted children,” Trapani told Fox 17. "She couldn't have any. She tried and tried." Even though they endured the pain of infertility, Tony's love for his wife never wavered and he cherished every moment they spent together.

letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parentingTony Trapani received the most important letter of his life, but he didn't see it for 50 years Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

After his wife passed away when Tony was 81 years old, he undertook the heartbreaking task of sorting out all of her belongings. In particular was a mountain of papers stuffed into filing cabinets. Trapani diligently went through every single one.

That’s when he stumbled upon a carefully concealed letter in a filing cabinet hidden for over half a century.

The letter was addressed to Tony and dated March 1959, but this was the first time he had seen it. His wife must have opened it, read it and hid it from him. The letter came from Shirley Childress, a woman Tony had once been close with before his marriage. She reached out, reminiscing about their past and revealing a secret that would change Tony's world forever.

"Dear Tony, I bet you are surprised to hear from me after so many years. I was just thinking about you tonight like so many other nights. But I thought I would write you and find out how you are," the letter reads. "Tony, please don't be angry or surprised to hear this. I have a little boy. He is five-years- old now - grey eyes and beautiful black hair. What I am trying to say Tony is he is your son."



"Please, Tony if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please come and see him," Shirley wrote in the letter. "Every day he asks me where is his daddy and believe me Tony I can't even answer him anymore. I would be forever grateful to you if you would just see him. ... I'll close now hoping and praying you will answer. P.S. His name is Samuel Duane."

Now, Tony faced the fact that he had a son that would be around 60 years old and he set out to find him.

For over a year, Trapani’s sister tried to track down the mysterious Samuel Duane Childress, until she finally contacted his wife, Donna.

Tony and Samuel met in January 2015 and he felt like a new dad. After meeting his father, Samuel said his mother told him she sent the letter, but Tony never responded. "Why my wife didn't tell me," said Trapani, "I don't know. She wanted children. She couldn't have any. She tried and tried."

It's easy to understand why it may have been hard for Trapani's late wife, Dolly, to pass along that sort of news. Though we'll never know what exactly must have been in her heart and mind when she hid the letter all those years ago.

"I always asked my mom, I said, 'Well what does he look like?'' Samuel said. "She said, 'Well, go look in the mirror."

The two met and caught up on a lifetime of memories with the understanding that they could never change the past. "Just to know him now is so important to me. It's going to fill that void," Samuel said.

But just to be sure, Tony took a paternity test to ensure they were father and son. Stunning everyone involved, the test came back negative. Tony was not the father.


letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parentingTony and Samuel didn't waste time thinking about what might have been if he'd seen the letter earlier. Photo by Ire Photocreative on Unsplash

The news upset Tony and Samuel, but they still had a unique bond. They shared a relationship with Samuel’s mother and both have been on an incredibly wild ride after Tony found the mysterious letter.

“They're keeping that bond,” Donna said. “That paper doesn't mean anything to him. That bond has been made—and we're going to move on from here.”

Tony Trapani passed away in 2017, leaving him just two short years to connect with the man he once believed to be his son. If he'd seen the letter earlier, maybe they would have had more time. But that's all in the past, and by all accounts the men treasured the time they got together, and the relationship that they did have — not the one they wished for.

jissel_fitts/TikTok

Dad gently explains to son why hitting others is bad.

Present fathers are a gift to kids, especially sons. One father is making his presence and guidance a priority in teaching his son about regulating his emotions when it comes to anger.

TikTok family The Fitts' (@jissel_fitts), made up of husband and wife duo Aaron and Jissell and their two children, shared an emotional video with their followers capturing a conversation between father and son. As he speaks to him, Aaron holds his little boy's head in his hands after learning he hit someone. Rather than explosively yell or demean him for hitting, Aaron calmly explains why it is not okay and how to recognize and manage his emotions better.

"This is what every little boy needs, a father to teach them about emotions," Jissell captioned the post. "As a mother, I wanted to step in but I have to constantly remind myself my husband is raising a boy and prepping him to become a man on day."

@jissel_fitts

#fyp #fypage #f #fatherson #dadsoftiktok #dadlife #blackfathers #blackfatherhood #fatherhood #breakingcycles

In the video, Aaron tells his son, "You have to learn how to control your emotions. Just because you're upset don't mean you get to hit. Do you understand?" he says. His son is visibly upset, but calmly listens to him and nods his head.

He continues, "You can't hit people because you're angry. That's a part of growing up, man. You can't just be mad because somebody said something you don't like. You hear me? Daddy was just trying to tell you."

As he explains to his son, the father strokes his head, offering physical reassurance and comfort with zero yelling. He makes constant eye contact with his son, who responds to his gentle demeanor by listening intently.

Viewers are impressed with this dad's approach.

"not all dads are calm, patient, verbal like this 😭 love this for him 🖤," one wrote.

"I love the fathers of this generation instead of telling him to man up he explains and lets his little boy have his moment of tears."

Another viewer commented, "This is so needed! Instead of yelling and demeaning words."

Another viewer pointed out, "notice how the little baby is playing his dads beard while being disciplined 😭💖 shows he feels safe w him and he’s really listening."

Others praised the mother: "The mother saying she’s not stepping in is the BEST PART!!! Let the men RAISE their boys!!!" one wrote. Another commented, "Us women, we raise our babies, our husbands, they raise men."

@jissel_fitts

#fyp #fypage #f #fatherson #dadsoftiktok #dadlife #blackfathers #blackfatherhood #fatherhood #breakingcycles

Jissell also responded to people sharing about their struggles. One viewer wrote, "I wish I had this growing up pops wasn’t around mom had to work you guys know how to go 🤦🏾♂️😩." And Jissell replied, "Growing up in my household we weren’t allowed to express ourselves we got in trouble for it 🥹."

Another shared, "Not all boys have a father like this not all boys have an active present, loving father that’s going to be like this. Some of us mothers have to be the mother and the father to our boys💯 & that’s Ok." Jissell responded, "My husband was raised by a single mom so yes it’s possible ❤️."

Regardless of their upbringings, Jissell and Aaron are choosing to parent their children differently.