Family

Why you may be an erotic person and not even know it

Imagination may play a bigger role in our sex lives than we know.

Why you may be an erotic person and not even know it

When you hear the word "eroticism," what comes to mind?

Maybe an X-rated, not-safe-for-work image?


But according to psychologist Esther Perel, we're thinking about it all wrong. When it comes to eroticism, we might actually be missing out on a lot of good stuff that makes our bodies and minds really happy.

It starts with understanding what it really means to be erotic.

Merriam-Webster defines erotic as "of, devoted to, or tending to arouse sexual love or desire." But Esther would probably give that description the side-eye. For her, sex only scratches the surface.

Wait, you mean erotica isn't just about getting it on?

Nope.

Here are three things that eroticism is all about:

1. An erotic person savors their life.

Esther says that, historically, mystics saw eroticism as an important part of maintaining vitality and having a vibrant life.

Well, that sounds fun. And it actually doesn't sound overtly sexual at all. It sounds practical, internal, and thoughtful.

2. Turns out, being erotic also means finding time to feel good whenever you can.


Ahhh, that gives me all the magical feels.

3. Eroticism and creativity often go hand in hand.

Why? Because when you let your creative juices flow and activate in your brain (aka the biggest sex organ in your body), you're more likely to feel alive, confident, and even imaginative.

Let your imagination run wild — without a leash.

Whoa ... that's some intense stuff! I feel like my brain was just hugged.

And that, my friend, is why you may be a much more erotic person than you thought you were when you started reading this post.

To hear more of Esther's bright thoughts on celebrating eroticism and how it's nothing to be ashamed of, check out the video below.


True

$200 billion of COVID-19 recovery funding is being used to bail out fossil fuel companies. These mayors are combatting this and instead investing in green jobs and a just recovery.

Learn more on how cities are taking action: c40.org/divest-invest


Working parents have always had the challenge of juggling career and kids. But during the pandemic, that juggling act feels like a full-on, three-ring circus performance, complete with clowns and rings of fire and flying elephants.

With millions of kids doing virtual learning, our routines and home lives have taken a dramatic shift. Some parents are trying to navigate working from home at the same time, some are trying to figure out who's going to watch over their kids while they work outside the home, and some are scrambling to find a new job because theirs got eliminated due to the pandemic. In addition to the logistical challenges, parents also have to deal with the emotional ups and downs of their kids, who are also dealing with an uncertain and altered reality, while also managing their own existential dread.

It's a whole freaking lot right now, honestly.

Keep Reading Show less
True

$200 billion of COVID-19 recovery funding is being used to bail out fossil fuel companies. These mayors are combatting this and instead investing in green jobs and a just recovery.

Learn more on how cities are taking action: c40.org/divest-invest


via msleja / TikTok

In 2019, the Washoe County School District in Reno, Nevada instituted a policy that forbids teachers from participating in "partisan political activities" during school hours. The policy states that "any signage that is displayed on District property that is, or becomes, political in nature must be removed or covered."

The new policy is based on the U.S. Supreme Court's 2018 Janus decision that limits public employees' First Amendment protections for speech while performing their official duties.

This new policy caused a bit of confusion with Jennifer Leja, a 7th and 8th-grade teacher in the district. She wondered if, as a bisexual woman, the new policy forbids her from discussing her sexuality.

Keep Reading Show less
Courtesy of Tiffany Obi
True

With the COVID-19 pandemic upending her community, Brooklyn-based singer Tiffany Obi turned to healing those who had lost loved ones the way she knew best — through music.

Obi quickly ran into one glaring issue as she began performing solo at memorials. Many of the venues where she performed didn't have the proper equipment for her to play a recorded song to accompany her singing. Often called on to perform the day before a service, Obi couldn't find any pianists to play with her on such short notice.

As she looked at the empty piano at a recent performance, Obi's had a revelation.

"Music just makes everything better," Obi said. "If there was an app to bring musicians together on short notice, we could bring so much joy to the people at those memorials."

Using the coding skills she gained at Pursuit — a rigorous, four-year intensive program that trains adults from underserved backgrounds and no prior experience in programming — Obi turned this market gap into the very first app she created.

She worked alongside four other Pursuit Fellows to build In Tune, an app that connects musicians in close proximity to foster opportunities for collaboration.

When she learned about and applied to Pursuit, Obi was eager to be a part of Pursuit's vision to empower their Fellows to build successful careers in tech. Pursuit's Fellows are representative of the community they want to build: 50% women, 70% Black or Latinx, 40% immigrant, 60% non-Bachelor's degree holders, and more than 50% are public assistance recipients.

Keep Reading Show less