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We lost a lot of icons in 2016. Here are 10 wonderful things you may not know they did.

On the first day of filming "Star Wars," George Lucas walked up to Carrie Fisher to explain why Princess Leia couldn’t wear a bra.

From her memoir, "Wishful Drinking":


"'You can't wear a bra under that dress.'

So, I say, 'Okay, I'll bite. Why?'

And he says, 'Because ... there's no underwear in space. What happens is you go to space and you become weightless. So far so good, right? But then your body expands??? But your bra doesn't — so you get strangled by your own bra.'

Now I think that this would make for a fantastic obit — so I tell my younger friends that no matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra."





Let’s just say it. 2016 has been the kind of year that people compare to giant, flaming containers of garbage.  

Carrie Fisher was strangled by her own bra. The election was ugly. World events were uglier. And when it comes to beloved icons, it was like 2016 had a grudge against humanity and was actively plotting against our most beloved pop culture icons.

And while everyone knows what they are best known for, here are 10 important things you may not have known about many of our most beloved icons this year.

1.  Carrie Fisher was a screenwriter who secretly fixed other people’s broken movies.

As a kid, I only knew her as Princess Leia, the leader of the Resistance with flawless aim and passion for rebellion and freedom. It wasn't until later that I learned about the layers of depth she had within her. First and foremost, Carrie Fisher was a writer.

Photo by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney.

She spent much of her career doing nearly anonymous work, quietly fixing movies, as one of the most sought after script doctors in Hollywood. She fixed movies like "Hook," "The Wedding Singer," and "Lethal Weapon III." She added jokes. She'd flesh out two-dimensional women characters. She wrote books. She spoke openly about mental illness. She also happened to be one of the funniest people in Hollywood. And the only one to drown in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

2. Prince was legendary ... at quietly giving to local charities.

Prince is considered one of the greatest rock stars of all time.

Photo via Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images for NPG Records.

But according to EOnline, he was also a remarkable philanthropist. He funded YesWeCode, an organization that helps kids become coders. The State reported that he donated $250,000 to the Eau Claire Promise Zone in Columbia, South Carolina, which helps fund childhood education. Another news organization reported that he donated $1,000,000 to the Harlem Children’s Zone. He was passionate about Black Lives Matter, too, fundraising and performing for their cause before he died.

3. Gene Wilder was not just Willy Wonka. He also testified before Congress to help fund cancer research.

Gene Wilder was an alcoholic gunslinger in "Blazing Saddles," a mad scientist in "Young Frankenstein," and a sketchy producer in the show (cleverly named) "The Producers."

Photo via M.J. Kim/Getty Images.

And of course, he also played a disturbed candy company wizard named Willy Wonka. His professional life was going amazingly well, and then his personal life got even better. When Gene Wilder met "Saturday Night Live" cast member Gilda Radner in 1981 on the set of the movie "Hanky Panky," he knew he had found his true love. She was funny, charismatic, and lit up any room she was in. When she died from misdiagnosed ovarian cancer, he was struggling to find meaning, to make sure her suffering never harmed anyone else ever again. From an essay he published in People magazine:

"For weeks after Gilda died, I was shouting at the walls. I kept thinking to myself, 'This doesn't make sense.' The fact is, Gilda didn’t have to die. But I was ignorant, Gilda was ignorant—the doctors were ignorant. She could be alive today if I knew then what I know now.

Gilda might have been caught at a less-advanced stage if two things had been done: if she had been given a ... blood test as soon as she described her symptoms to the doctors instead of 10 months later, and if the doctors had known the significance of asking her about her family’s history of ovarian cancer. But they didn’t. So Gilda went through the tortures of the damned and at the end, I felt robbed."

He wanted to channel his pain into something productive. He helped Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre create the Gilda Radner Ovarian Cancer Detection Program. He also helped start Gilda’s Clubs and according to The Los Angeles Times, his congressional testimony helped fund $30 million in cancer research.

4. David Bowie started an internet service provider before it was cool.

David Bowie was a rock legend, even among rock legends. He was always on the bleeding edge of rock music. He created characters. He pushed the boundaries of music and influenced musicians in every genre.

Photo by Carl Court/Getty Images.

But you know what else he did?

While other rock stars were scared of the internet, before most people even had access to internet, in 1998, David Bowie started BowieNet, a place for Bowie fans to access to the internet AND have a rockstar email address. He moved on. And became a goblin king or something. Because he’s David Bowie.

5. George Michael was a proud gay icon and a musical legend but stayed quiet about his charitable work.

George Michael was known for his LGBTQ rights advocacy, HIV/AIDS fundraising work, his strong political beliefs, and his pop hits ranging from "Father Figure" to "Faith" to "Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me."

Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images.

But what wasn’t known about him, prior to his death, was his anonymous kindness and charity to everyday folks. The New York Daily News compiled a list of people who came forward after his death to share the kindness he didn’t want publicity for in life. He had given millions to Childline, a children’s charity. He once gave a free concert to the nurses who took care of his ailing mother. He volunteered, anonymously, at a homeless shelter. He once tipped a waitress $5,000 because she was in debt and a nursing student. I have faith there are others out there who were on the receiving end of his generosity that we’ll never know about.

6. Vera Rubin was not just a science legend, but also a witty crusader for women’s equality.

Vera Rubin may not be in the celebrity magazines, but she’s a astronomer and visionary who confirmed significant scientific findings and who dealt with sexism with bluntness and wit.

Photo by Carnegie Institution of Washington.

She was the first female astronomer to observe the skies at Caltech’s Observatory, but there was no women’s bathroom at the observatory, so she cut out a little paper doll of a dress and slapped it on the men’s room door. She said, "There you go; now you have a ladies’ room."

And more importantly, she confirmed the existence of dark matter and has been hailed by many in the scientific community of someone who deserves the Nobel Prize for physics, which no woman has won in 50 years.

7. Muhammad Ali was an incredible fighter but, more importantly, also a civil rights activist.

Muhammad Ali was the greatest. He told you that. And it also was true. And while many people remember him for his achievements in the ring and his lighting of the Olympic torch at the 1996 summer Olympics in Atlanta, most people tend to gloss over the other side of his story.

Photo via Kent Gavin/Keystone/Getty Images.

He was an unapologetic civil rights activist who refused to fight in the Vietnam War. In his words:

"My conscience won't let me go shoot my brother or some darker people or some poor, hungry people in the mud for big, powerful America. And shoot them for what? They never called me nigger, they never lynched me, they didn't put no dogs on me, they didn't rob me of my nationality, rape and kill my mother and father. Shoot them for what? How can I shoot them poor people? Poor little black people and babies and children and women. How can I shoot them poor people? Just take me to jail."

He was stripped of his title and banned from boxing for that. He also was banned from traveling overseas. So he spent four years speaking out at colleges to earn money and bring attention to the issues that almost no one was willing to address. In 1971, the Supreme Court overruled his draft dodging conviction and he returned to regain his title.

8. Ron Glass was a fictional cop, a fictional space priest, and a real-life college education fan.

If you aren’t totally sure why Ron Glass’s name sounds familiar, let me refresh your memory. If you grew up in the 1970s, you might know him as Detective Ron Harris from "Barney Miller." If you grew up in the 2000s, if you are like me, then you love him for his role as space preacher Shepard Book on "Firefly." But if you are a kid living in poverty who up in Los Angeles from 1992 until now, you probably know Ron Glass as the guy who spent over 20 years mentoring children and making sure hundreds of them got the resources to go to college.

After witnessing the Rodney King riots, he wanted to make an impact on the community. So he joined the board of the Wooten Center, which helps kids get on the path to a college education. He started mentoring and reading to kids, emceeing events, raising money, and getting kids the resources they needed. You can donate in his name here.

9. Harper Lee wrote one of the most important books ever. (And one of the best snarky letters ever.)

In 1966, the Hanover County School Board in Richmond, Virginia, took offense to Harper Lee’s pivotal work "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

To them, the coarse language and discussion of racial  was, according to one board member, "immoral literature." They unanimously voted to ban it. When Harper Lee found out, she decided to voice her expert opinion in an open letter to the editors of the local paper, the Richmond News Leader.  It read:

"Recently I have received echoes down this way of the Hanover County School Board's activities, and what I've heard makes me wonder if any of its members can read.

Surely it is plain to the simplest intelligence that 'To Kill a Mockingbird' spells out in words of seldom more than two syllables a code of honor and conduct, Christian in its ethic, that is the heritage of all Southerners. To hear that the novel is "immoral" has made me count the years between now and 1984, for I have yet to come across a better example of doublethink.

I feel, however, that the problem is one of illiteracy, not Marxism. Therefore I enclose a small contribution to the Beadle Bumble Fund that I hope will be used to enroll the Hanover County School Board in any first grade of its choice."



According to the story, Lee included $10 for The News Leader’s Bumble Fund, which distributed 50 free copies of the book to Hanover students. The fund, named after a character in Charles Dickens’ "Oliver Twist" who proclaimed "the law is a ass," was started in 1959 by News Leader Editor James J. Kilpatrick "to redress ludicrous cases of patent injustice."

A month later, the board un-banned the book and claimed they never intended to in the first place. We’ll miss you, Harper Lee.

10. Gwen Ifill was a crack journalist but a private mentor to dozens and dozens more.

Gwen Ifill worked at The Baltimore Evening Sun. She did a stint at The Washington Post. She reported for The New York Times. She hosted "Washington Week" for 17 years. She hosted "NewsHour" for the last three years as half of the first all-woman national network news anchor team. She was, simply put, a legend.

I recently had the opportunity to meet Gwen Ifill. The 2016 presidential debates were around the corner. I asked her, "Knowing that candidates tend to ignore questions if they don't want to answer them, with the bizarre election we are currently in, how do you deal with a candidate who refuses to answer questions, or makes up facts out of whole cloth?"

Her response impressed me. This isn't verbatim, but essentially, she said trying to get candidates to answer questions they are trained to dodge is a waste of time. You can try a follow up, and if they still dodge, then you gently acknowledge to the audience that you're on the same page as them. Let the audience know you know the candidate didn't answer. Then move on to the next thoughtful question.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images for "Meet the Press."

During the taping, on a break, she specifically sought out and took time to meet a young woman of color studying to be a reporter. Then I discovered what many already knew, that it’s something she actively did her entire career. She took her job as a role model and mentor very seriously. So much so that a vast community of journalists wrote about how she helped them get to where they are after she died.

Gwen Ifill had a pretty damn impressive career, but what’s more impressive are the dozens of journalists of color she mentored and inspired whose work will live on as a testament to her selflessness and passion.

Just to say it, I’m super ready for 2016 to be over.

It’s hard to say goodbye to so many powerful icons of our culture, but it’s encouraging to know their good works will love on well past their own lives.Obviously, this isn’t a comprehensive list. Many other great people were lost. Who meant the most to you and why? When you share it, let us know.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

gramnesia, millennial, millennial parents, boomers, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting
@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials coined the term "gramnesia" for Boomer grandparents who have forgotten what it's like raising kids.

Becoming a grandparent is the dream for many parents who've raised their children into adulthood. After all, there are few things sweeter than getting to spend time with grandkids.

But many Millennial parents have had many bones to pick with their Boomer parents about their grandparenting skills (or lack thereof). Recently, Millennials have been calling out Boomer grandparents for a number of questionable grandparenting behaviors: from excessive gift giving to completely disappearing.


And its led one Millennial mom to coin the term "gramnesia" when describing her Boomer parents as grandparents.

What is "gramnesia"?

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

@selahvictor

Millennial Moms have you experienced this?! I swear every time I ask my Mom about a parenting struggle, she's like "what are you talking about?" SHE HAS GRAMNESIA😂😂Disclaimer: my Mom had 8 kids, so maybe she just was way more of an expert than me😜Also if you made it to the end, this is probably why it was easier for that generation too (and why I'm a great sleeper!)😂 #boomers #millenialmom #millennial #boomermom #parentinghelp #momof8 #selahvictor #lamom #gramnesia

Examples of “gramnesia” statements

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid.”

“I potty trained you before you were one.”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”

gramnesia, boomer grandparent, boomer grandparents, grandkids, grandparenting Some Boomer grandparents are being called out for "gramnesia".Photo credit: Canva

Why "gramnesia" exists in the first place

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

How to confront Boomer parents about "gramnesia"

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Pop Culture

James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

james van der beek
Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.


Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."


Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

1990s kids, 1990s parents, lies, '90s nostalgia, old wives tale, '90s kid
via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So, when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the untruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. In 2024, a man named Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” one commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” another added. After just four days of being posted, the video had been viewed upwards of 250,000 times.


@90skid4lyfe

Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, tattoo, jobs A woman gets a tattoo.Canva Photos

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

'90s kids, '80s kids, parents, white lies, kids, parenting Boy playing on the computer.Canva Photos

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors
via Tim Doefler/Unsplash

Boomers weren't wrong about everything. Here are 16 complaints even young people agree with.

Baby boomers often find themselves the butt of the joke these days. Deserved or not, they have to absorb some serious criticism from Gen Xers down to Gen Alpha kids. Notoriously, the generation takes heat from younger generations who think that their me-first mentality helped create a world where the climate is getting warmer, the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and people born in the ‘40s and ‘50s still rule the modern workplace. They're also famous for being crotchety, cranky, and pessimistic about the way the world is going.

And in that, they're not always wrong. Many boomers would probably stand up and cheer if they read a list of tweets inspired by a since-deleted discussion on X that posted the question, “What is the most boomer complaint you have?”


The debate was embraced by younger people and received over 123 million views and spawned similar discourses all across social media.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Grumpy boomers aren't wrong about everything. Photo by Evgeniy Kozlov on Unsplash

Even though boomers are frequently in the hot seat these days, just about everyone can agree that they’re right about many things that get under younger people’s skin, too. One of the recurring themes of the post was that people can’t stand the fact that we are overly dependent on technology, and often, instead of making things more accessible, it makes them more frustrating.

Here are 16 of the best ‘boomer complaints’ that younger people have, too.

People had a lot of thoughts on the state of tipping culture.

"Tipping culture has gotten out of hand," one user wrote.

The discussion and sentiment continued over on Reddit, where one user joked: "Do you want to tip 20% for this comment?"


- YouTube www.youtube.com

They also can’t stand the idea that technology has complicated things unnecessarily.

One Redditor wrote simply, "I miss buttons."

"And cords. Can’t I just connect things like the old days??" someone added.

Another observed how annoying it is to "sign up" for every single thing. "Don’t make me have an account for everything."

"This more broadly is turning into one of my largest complaints about living ... Too many apps, too many accounts, too many ads, too many notifications, too many questions, too many email lists," someone responded.


And don't even get them started on AI.

"I. WANT. TO. TALK. TO. AN. AGENT!!!!!! DON’T. WANT. YOUR. [&$^@&*#]. AI. CUSTOMER. SUPPORT!!!!!!!" a Redditor fumed.

Some were frustrated enough to find ways to hack the system. "My hack that I find works on the majority of these systems is to mumble nonsense when asked 'what can i help you with today?', the system usually asks to clarify a couple of times and then will get you an agent as it cannot understand your request."

Also—what happened to adult clothes?

"Adults shouldn't dress like children. Jordans, Yeezys, 'slides', etc." someone added.


Whatever happened to paying for something once and then owning it?

Or being able to own physical media so that you don’t have to pay every time you watch your favorite movie?

"I wanna go back to blue-rays and DVDs and actually own the content I like. Fk streaming, yes to physical media!"

"Why does everything good require a subscription"

"I am absolutely not paying a monthly subscription to use your shitty app," a Reddit user wrote.


Moving on to food complaints.

When did we all decide that almost every chip has to be kettle-cooked and made for people with cobalt teeth? Enjoying a snack shouldn't result in a $5,000 dental bill.

"potato chips are too expensive and too hard these days" wrote someone on X.

Oh, and the new high-tech food menus drive everyone nuts, too:

"Please don't make me scan a QR code for the menu," a Reddit user added.

"I don't want to use a QR code to see a menu or store hours, give me a paper menu," an X user agreed.

boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Even the young people can't stand QR codes. Photo by Albert Hu on Unsplash


Remember when coffee was a quarter? Boomers do.

These days, it's common to spend $6 or $7 PLUS on a cup of Joe.

"I remember when coffee wasn’t the cost of a meal," an X user reminisced.

And it's not just coffee. Even the price of a McDonald's cheeseburger has nearly doubled in the last ten years. We're all cranky about it.


boomers, old people complaints, technology, gen x, millennials, gen z, grumpy old man, old people, seniors Everything, even fast food, has gotten out of control expensive. Photo by Hexandcube on Unsplash

We might label boomers as the cranky generation, but eventually, Gen Xers, millennials and, yes, even Gen Zers will be right behind them, complaining about "kids these days" and why things were so much better "in my day." Tis the circle of life. One the bright side though, they'll at least be better at using technology.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.