To The Bullied 7th-Grade Girl Whose Life Is Hell, Here's A Special Message To You From A Wise Nerd
A middle-school girl wrote to author and vlogger John Green to ask him how to cope with bullying. She goes to the same school he went to. She relayed what his teacher said about his days there. And he got to thinking. At 1:52, he gets to the point about bullies. And at 2:43, he tells an important story that everyone needs to keep in perspective. Also, don't freak out, but he doesn't move in this video. It's not an audio problem.
As Robert Frost said, "The best way out is always through." As John Green says, "You will get through. I will get through." And as I say, "Seriously, listen to these guys." When I was getting bullied in school, I never imagined I'd be here either. So take heart, kids trapped in schools where you aren't understood. You aren't alone. Someday you will be understood. And we will have your back.
If you want to hear more from John, Like him on Facebook. If you want your compatriots who have been bullied to hear this, then share it.
All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries
Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries
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A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.
And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.
This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.
For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.
Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.
Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”
That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.
Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.
Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.
“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”
Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.
If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
Photo courtesy of CC BY-ND, Immo Klink and Marco Godoy
Spikes line the concrete to prevent sleeping.
These are called "anti-homeless spikes." They're about as friendly as they sound.
As you may have guessed, they're intended to deter people who are homeless from sitting or sleeping on that concrete step. And yeah, they're pretty awful.
The spikes are a prime example of how cities design spaces to keep homeless people away.
Not all concrete steps have spikes on them, but outdoor seating in cities like Montreal and Tokyo have been sneakily designed to prevent people from resting too comfortably for too long.
This guy sawing through a bench was part of a 2006 protest in Toulouse, France, where public seating intentionally included armrests to prevent people from lying down.
Of course, these designs do nothing to fight the cause or problem of homelessness. They're just a way of saying to homeless people, "Go somewhere else. We don't want to look at you,"basically.
One particular set of spikes was outside a former night club in London. And a local group got sick of staring at them.
"Spikes do nothing more than shoo the realities of poverty and inequality away from your backyard — so you don't have to see it or confront what you can do to make things more equal," Borromeo told Upworthy. "And that is really selfish."
"Our moral compass is skewed if we think things like this are acceptable."
The move by Space, Not Spikes has caused quite a stir in London and around the world. The simple but impactful idea even garnered support from music artist Ellie Goulding.
"That was amazing, wasn't it?" Borromeo said of Goulding's shout-out on Instagram.
"[The project has] definitely touched a nerve and I think it is because, as a whole, humans will still look out for each other," Borromeo told Upworthy. "Capitalism and greed conditions us to look out for ourselves and negate the welfare of others, but ultimately, I think we're actually really kind."
"We need to call out injustice and hypocrisy when we see it."
A message to offer support in contrast with current anti-homeless laws.
These spikes may be in London, but the U.S. definitely has its fair share of anti-homeless sentiment, too.
Spikes are pretty obvious — they're a visual reminder of a problem many cities are trying to ignore. But what we can't see on the street is the rise of anti-homeless laws that have cropped up from sea to shining sea.
Legislation that targets homeless people — like bans on panhandling and prohibiting people from sleeping in cars — has increased significantly in recent years.
Thankfully, groups like "Space, Not Spikes" are out there changing hearts and minds. But they need our help.
The group created a video to complement its work and Borromeo's hoping its positive underlying message will motivate people to do better.
"[The world] won't always be happy-clappy because positive social change needs constructive conflict and debate," she explained. "But we need to call out injustice and hypocrisy when we see it."
A viral video showing a woman preparing nachos for her "picky" spouse after he refused to eat the salmon dinner she cooked has sparked a contentious debate on TikTok. The video was shared on April 26 by Brianna Greenfield (@themamabrianna on TikTok) and has since earned over 2.5 million views.
Brianna is a mother of two who lives in Iowa.
The video starts with Brianna grating a massive hunk of cheese with a caption that reads: “My husband didn’t eat the dinner that I made…So let’s make him some nachos.”
“If I don’t feed him, he literally won’t eat,” she wrote. “This used to irritate me. Now I just blame his mother for never making him try salmon,” Greenfield wrote. The video features Meghan Trainor’s single “Mother” playing in the background.
At the end of the video, she hands her husband a huge plate of nachos while he lies on the couch under a blanket.
The video received over 11,000 comments on TikTok, primarily people saying that she shouldn’t have made a second meal for her husband and that he appears to be entitled.
Moral of the story: always serve your kids allllll the food, even if they say they dont like it after the first time. 25 years from now your child’s spouse will thank you. 😉 #momsoftiktok #momtok #momlife #workingmom #sahm #marriedlife #marriage #marriagehumor #wifelife #wivesoftiktok #happywifehappylife #pickyeater #pickyhusband #nachosfordinner #wivesoftiktok #cuisinartairfryer #humpday #guesswhatdayitis🐪 #guesswhatdayitis #eattherainbow
"If my husband came home after I cooked dinner and told me he wasn’t eating it to make something else I’d laugh in his face," Rebecca Rose wrote. "This ain't a marriage it's a caretaker internship," Ad Trèz added.
"It got worse with him wrapped in the blanket being served," Lauren Becker wrote. "Ohhh...now I know what people mean when they refer to 'the ick,'" Tara Townsend commented, referencing the moment when people realize that their attraction to someone has turned to repulsion.
However, Brianna believes that people are missing the point of her video. "Moral of the story: always serve your kids allllll the food, even if they say they don't like it after the first time. 25 years from now your child’s spouse will thank you," she captioned the post.
Brianna wasn’t trying to paint her husband as infantile but call attention to the fact that when parents don’t expose their children to different types of food, they can wind up with a relatively unsophisticated palette. She knew he didn't like salmon when she made the dinner for her and her kids, so it wasn't a surprise that he didn't want it.
“If you have parents who don’t really like to try anything new, you will also be exposed to fewer new foods,” Marcia Pelchat, Ph.D. told Self—adding that the reverse is also true. When we have positive experiences with new foods, we are more likely to try unfamiliar tastes in the future.
Even though many took shots at Brianna and her husband, they took it all in stride and aren’t bothered by people who don’t know them.
"Thankfully, my husband and I have an excellent sense of humor and know the truth (that he is a wonderful husband and even better father), so we just think the reaction is genuinely entertaining,” she told Newsweek. “Some of the rude comments are hilariously clever!"
After the first video went viral, she posted another where she serves him macaroni and cheese, while he lays on the couch, under a blanket with numerous electronic devices around him.
David C. Smalley, a comedian and podcaster, regularly gives us some generational humor by exposing his 19-year-old daughter Talissa to relics of the past. You know, things like CDs, phonebooks, remote controllers…feeling old yet?
Recently, Smalley challenged Talissa with navigating a standard U-Haul storage truck. She had to 1) unlock the door 2) roll down a window and 3) start the engine.
For those of us who grew up before the 90s, this might sound like the easiest challenge ever. But apparently, for Gen Z, it’s like being asked to maneuver a horse and buggy.
Despite growing up in a key fob generation, where simply pressing a button on a tiny remote controller could magically open doors, Talissa aced unlocking the door with a key.
Next, she was understandably baffled over the amount of physical labor required to simply roll down a window.
“Are you serious? They haven’t updated that?!” she exclaimed while doing the tedious hand-cranking move we all know so well. “Are you kidding me?! I would not do this every time.”
She definitely had a point on this one. Electronic windows have been the standard for decades. Is U-Haul just sentimental or what?
Having checked off two of the three tasks, Talissa then had to start the car—which proved to be the biggest challenge of all.
Looking on the center console, where she’s used to seeing the ignition button, Talissa found the airbag and radio (two foreign objects in their own right) but no way to start the car.
Finally…success! Talissa found the ignition hiding behind the steering wheel.
“I’m not going to make it explode, am I?” she joked as she turned the key and celebrated her victory.
Watch below. Hearing Talissa ask if the radio is a “fidget game” is entertainment in itself.
It’s always fun to see the ways in which different generations navigate the world through fashion, slang, entertainment, dating, food, the list goes on. But technology, which continues to evolve at a rapid rate, always feels like the biggest culture shock.
And unlike bell bottoms, outdated tech rarely makes a comeback. So once the more energy efficient, more convenient appliance becomes mainstream, its predecessor is forever obsolete. Unless of course you count the cool, hipster folks hanging onto vinyl for the superior sound quality.
Speaking of vinyl, Talissa was also previously challenged by Smalley to work a record player, to equal hilarity:
Actor Matthew McConaughey and his wife Camila Alves arrive at Film Independent's Los Angeles Film Festival.
There are some people whose respect you have to earn by standing up to them and showing your assertiveness. One is actor Matthew McConaughey’s mother, Mary Kathlene McCabe, nicknamed “Ma Mac” by the family.
McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, 41, recently admitted that McCabe went to great lengths to get on her nerves until Alves stood up to her and showed a little backbone. One of the tactics McCabe used was to call Alves by the wrong name, even “accidentally” using the names of her son’s exes to get a reaction.
The couple began dating in 2006, got married in 2012 and have three children together: Levi, 15, Vida, 13 and Livingston, 10.
“She did all these things when I first came in the picture, right? And she was really testing me. I mean, really testing me,” Alves shared on an episode of Southern Living’s “Biscuits & Jam” podcast. “She would call me by all of Matthew’s ex-girlfriends’ names, she would start speaking Spanish with me in a very broken way, kind of putting down a bit. I mean, all kinds of stuff.”
Eventually, things came to a head when the family went on vacation to Istanbul, and Alves had to stand up to the family matriarch.
“I’m putting her to bed, and I realized, ‘Oh my god, she’s full of s***t,” Alves quipped. “All she wanted was for me to fight back and then from that day on, that night on, we have the most amazing relationship, and I have so much respect for her. She has so much respect for me. I mean, it can get tricky sometimes, you know? But we always end with a good laugh and a joke.”
“Camila goes, ‘I’m not asking your permission anymore.’ And basically, my mom was like, ‘There we go. That’s right,’” McConaughey told ET Canada.
McConaughey admits that his mother's hazing of his wife is all part of their family tradition.
“We test you. And even in our own family with my brothers and mother is one of us. Me and my brothers get on our high horse about something,” he continued. “Oh, my family, we humbly wait, we make you cry, and then we pick you up and make your favorite drink, ‘You’re welcome back.’ So there are initiations, rites of passage that my family’s always enjoyed.”
It may be a little unfair that “Ma Mac” felt the need to test her new daughter-in-law, but it’s not wrong for people to demand that others be assertive. According to the Mayo Clinic, assertive people show greater respect for themselves and others because it’s based on mutual respect.
“Being assertive shows that you respect yourself because you're willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings,” the Mayo Clinic wrote on its website. “It also demonstrates that you're aware of others' rights and willing to work on resolving conflicts.”
The whole ruse could have been that the “Ma Mac'' wanted to ensure her husband was marrying someone who stood up for herself and knew how to work well with the rest of the family. By all accounts, Alves has more than passed the test.
Rescuing a pet is an amazing and heroic undertaking.
7.6 million pets go into shelters each year, according to the ASPCA. And of those pets, about 2.7 million pets are rescued by humans who give them forever homes.
Moscow-based comic artist Bird Born experienced firsthand the power of welcoming a pet into your family when he adopted a dog.
Then his journey to understand his newest animal friend inspired an adorable and incredibly moving comic, too.
Follow this artist's journey to help his new friend feel welcome in his home:
Rescuing animals is a big commitment, and of course it doesn't come without challenges.
When adopting any animal, there's fear and uncertainty about their past life. Were they abused? Were they malnourished? How will they respond to humans?
Despite this, Born persevered with his new dog. "It took a lot of love and care to prove this animal that she was loved and needed," he writes in his comic.
Today, he can rest easy knowing one less dog is in need. And that's proof enough that adopting a dog can make the world a better place.
Matt Diaz has worked extremely hard to lose 270 pounds over the past six years.
But his proudest moment came in March 2015 when he decided to film himself with his shirt off to prove an important point about body positivity and self-love.
Matt had lap-band surgery in 2009 at age 16.
Through the course of his weight-loss journey, Matt became passionate about promoting body positivity for people of all shapes and sizes.
Here's Matt at 16 years old and 497 pounds versus recently after his surgery — at 22 years old and 220 pounds.
Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.
To stay motivated, he started sharing his journey on social media, posting before-and-after photos, answering questions and giving support to followers, and even sharing his meals and favorite workouts. Six years later, Matt is down over 270 pounds and is a very active voice in the online body-positivity movement.
But in all his years of sharing his story, the one thing he's never done is showed what his body looks like after 200+ pounds of weight loss. So he uploaded the video above to show his followers his true self.
Sharing what happens with extreme weight loss.
Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.
Working through fear...
Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.
Loving myself.
Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.
Scary and important.
Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.
Shortly after he posted the video online, originally to Tumblr, it quickly went viral and garnered thousands of shares and comments from people around the web. I was one of the thousands touched by the video, so I reached out to Matt to find out more about what motivated him and what he hopes others can take away from his story. Here's what he had to say:
Why was it so important for you to post this video?
"I'm a really big advocate for self-love and body positivity. I think it's important that we learn to love the bodies we're in, even if we don't necessarily like every little thing about them. However, in the time I'd been writing and talking about it, I'd never actually shown my excess skin to anyone. It felt dishonest somehow, to others and to myself. I couldn't tell others that I wanted them to love themselves and keep myself hidden away and ashamed of my skin."
"I know what it feels like to hate your body, and to be depressed about it, and I never want anyone to feel that way again. So, if making myself vulnerable can help one person, why not?" — Matt Diaz
What's the response been like? Anything particularly unexpected?
"I think that putting any opinion on the Internet will garner a certain amount of negativity and cynicism, but I haven't seen anything like that at all. I've read every comment and message since the video has gone up, literally thousands, and they're all so thoughtful.
A really surprising side-effect were the number of transgender people who've thanked me saying that they understood my struggle, even though their body-related insecurity grew from different roots. I'd never even begun to [think] of what that must be like, and the fact that my message could help even though my problems began somewhere else is really incredible.”
What advice or words of encouragement do you have for someone who's struggling to love their body?
"I know it's difficult, especially when you're starting out. I want you to remember that you are not the problem, certain aspects of society are the problem. You'll constantly be told that you're too heavy or too tall to be attractive, or you're not masculine or feminine enough, or that your skin isn't the right tone or your hair isn't the right color, and these people are always always always wrong.
Luckily, we're slowly starting to see these ideas get phased out by modernity. Plus-sized, un-retouched models are getting more attention in major brands, more attention is being put on the alternative scene for high fashion, it's becoming clear that these negative ideas are not going to last, though it's going to take a while."
"Understand that to love yourself is to contest the negative things that were put into your head. Every smile, tattoo, bathing suit, and crop top is a small revolution. Tell yourself you're beautiful every day, and I promise you will be." — Matt Diaz
Watch video below:
Matt's story is a personal one, but it's one we can all learn from.
I think the most important thing to take away here is that self-love takes time and is different for everyone no matter what they look like. It's also worth noting that for Matt, losing weight was an important part of his journey, but that might not be the case for everyone. Even so, our society has such incredibly high and unrealistic body standards that even many of those who do work to lose weight end up feeling uncomfortable or being shamed for not having "perfect bodies" once they've lost weight.
There's no such thing as a "perfect body" because everyone is different, which is what makes us beautiful and great! I'm glad there are people like Matt in the world who are not only willing to share their stories but also to inspire others by showing that body confidence comes in all shapes and sizes, and that everyone deserves to feel good about who they are. Here's hoping Matt's inspiring words can help others begin to love and accept themselves, no matter where they're at in their journey.
