She was hiding an invisible illness. When she revealed it, it changed everything.
From an outsider's perspective, Bethany Schrock's life looked pretty perfect.
Like many other photographers, she uses social media as her primary marketing tool, and thus fastidiously curates her work and image for these visual platforms.
Photo via Upworthy.
However, on the inside, Bethany was dealing with a lot of pain.
She had a brain tumor that was sitting on her spinal chord and optic nerve. It caused her to have seizures and even affected her ability to move the left side of her body. So while she appeared fine to most people, her invisible illness was taking an enormous toll on her.
If she didn't have surgery to remove the tumor soon, her doctors told her things would only get worse.
“If I didn’t get the surgery I would lose vision and a lot of other scary things," she says.
So Bethany went through intensive surgery to have her tumor removed, and suddenly her illness was no longer invisible.
Photo via Bethany Schrock.
However, while the experience was certainly difficult, she wasn't upset about people getting to see her pain. In fact, she embraced it.
“Having a scar was almost kind of like a badge of, ‘hey I’ve been through stuff. I am sick,'" explains Bethany.
So she started posting close up, bold photos of her scar on her social media platforms for all to see. Bethany wanted to be transparent with her audience and finally show them that beauty doesn't have to mean looking "perfect." Along with the photos, she wrote open and honest messages about health and being sick.
Photo via Bethany Schrock.
Nothing could have prepared her for the responses she received in return.
“I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who were saying, ‘hey, me too.'"
What's more, as Bethany began to recover and get back to her life, she noticed that small things, like putting on Maybelline mascara and brow gel, helped her truly embrace who she is now.
"It was the first time I finally felt like, okay, it can get better."
The whole experience inspired her to start a photography project where she photographs people who are also living with invisible illnesses.
But she doesn't just take and post their pictures — she distresses them in a way that shows the world what they're dealing inside. So for example, when Bethany photographed a woman with nerve pain, she burned parts of the photo to show what that pain might look like.
Photo via Upworthy.
“I really think pain is the number one thing that connects people," says Bethany.
Everyone deals with pain in some form or another throughout their life, but that doesn't mean they're any less beautiful for it. In fact, Bethany believes that living with pain can make you even more beautiful.
"It’s like, you’ve been through stuff," she says. "I think the people who are able to admit that are really beautiful."
Learn more about Bethany's story and work the video below:
Overwhelmed with emotion.
Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.
Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.
Man sitting on chair covering his eyes.Photo by 
Dishwasher and dishes.via 
A woman washing dishes.via
Communications expert shares the 7-word phrase to shoot down anyone being disrespectful
Try this method next time someone says something rude.
A woman can't believe what she just heard.
Getting caught off guard by a rude comment from a coworker, family member, or total stranger can throw you for a loop. You immediately start wondering how you should respond. Should I insult the person right back or play it cool without stooping to their level? Everyone is going to be thrown by a disrespectful comment at some point, so it’s good to have a response in your back pocket for that moment when it comes.
Communications expert Jefferson Fisher provided a great response that we can all use recently on the Mel Robbins Podcast. Fisher is a Texas board-certified personal injury attorney and one of the most respected voices on argumentation and communication in the world. He is also the bestselling author of The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More.
How to respond to a rude or disrespectful comment
Fisher told Robbins that the first step in responding to the comment is nonverbal. You say nothing. “A lot of silence. So often, if you just wait 10 seconds that you're gonna add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond,” Fisher said. “They're saying this to get something out of you, cause in that moment, they're feeling something, whether it's a fear or an insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are.”
The next step is to let the rude person know that their behavior will not be tolerated in a confident manner.
“So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward, and then you're going to say something to the effect of, ‘That's below my standard for a response.’ All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.”
Throw it back on them
If you prefer to put someone back on their heels instead of squelching the situation as Fisher recommends, John Bowe, a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of DisconnectionI Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of Disconnection, says that you should respond with a question: “Do you really mean that?”
“Say it with outrage or dripping sarcasm, with raised eyebrows or deadpan calm. It doesn’t matter. This phrase is quietly disarming and deceptively powerful,” Bowe writes for CNBC. Bowe says the response does two great things for you. First, it gives them a chance to reconsider their words because most rude comments are said without thinking. “By responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you’re holding up a mirror. Often, that’s all it takes for the other person to walk back their offense,” he writes.
After the person is asked if they meant what they said, they can double down on their rude comment, but they are probably more likely to backpedal or apologize.
Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that, unless you live under a rock, you’ll have to deal with people making rude comments. But the best thing you can do is to prepare yourself to confidently put someone in their place so they’ll think twice about ever being rude to you again.