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This heartwarming video shows an elephant's journey after stepping on a land mine.

This is Mosha. She's an Asian elephant.

GIFs from Great Big Story/YouTube.

One day, when Mosha was just seven months old, she stumbled across something awful near the Thailand-Myanmar border.

Though Thailand is a beautiful country, its borders are littered with land mines — the legacy of decades of conventional and guerrilla warfare in the region.

Land mines are buried explosive traps that will detonate if someone steps on them or hits a trigger wire.

Mosha was caught in the explosion, and though she survived, she was permanently scarred.

The damage was so severe that she lost part of her leg.

For two years, Mosha lived like this.

Then, Mosha met Therdchai Jivacate, a surgeon and inventor.

When Mosha was two and a half years old, Jivacate found her at the Friends of the Asian Elephant Foundation, the world's first elephant hospital.

"When I saw Mosha, I noticed that she had to keep raising her trunk into the air in order to walk properly," Jivacate told Motherboard, explaining that the injured elephant had to put most of her 1,300 pounds onto just her one front leg.

Jivacate worked with the hospital to build Mosha a custom prosthetic leg.

Jivacate is a prosthetic expert who has helped thousands of humans and animals, but he'd never made a prosthetic for such a big creature before.

Designing it has been an ongoing challenge. The prosthetic had to be comfortable for Mosha to wear, but it also had to be sturdy enough to support Mosha's immense weight as she grew.

Since he started working with her, Mosha has gone through nine different prosthetics.

His hard work has paid off, though. The newest leg lets Mosha walk normally again.

She seems to know who's responsible for that.

"I think she knows that I make her prosthetic legs as each time I come to the elephant hospital she makes a little salute by raising her trunk in the air," Jivacate told Motherboard.

Mosha isn't the only innocent creature whose life has been altered by an encounter with a land mine.

And Thailand isn't the only country in danger. According to the United Nations, 78 countries have to live with land mines.

Because land mines are, by nature, both hidden and long-lasting, people can stumble across them years or even decades after they were planted.

A young boy in Afghanistan, 2009. He lost his leg to a land mine too. Photo by Majid Saeedi/Getty Images.

Land mines do not listen to cease-fires. They do not disappear once a conflict has ended. They remain hidden in the ground, waiting to be stepped on.

15,000 to 20,000 people die each year because of them, and many more lose limbs just like Mosha did.

There are many ways we as a global community can help those who live in areas littered with land mines.

Many people, like the Mae Tao Clinic in Thailand, create prosthetics for the human survivors of land mine explosions.

Others, like The Halo Trust, are working to prevent injuries and deaths altogether by going out and getting rid of the mines, which have to be individually found and disarmed. It's difficult, dangerous work, but it saves lives.

A de-miner holds up a defused mine in Sri Lanka. Photo by S. Kodikara/AFP/Getty Images.

Still others, like the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, are working to make sure land mines are never produced again.

The campaign has been working to advance the Mine Ban Treaty, which has been signed by over 162 countries. (The U.S. is, notably, not one of them, but President Obama has pledged to stop using land mines outside the Korean Peninsula.)

By supporting the efforts of those working to put an end to this problem, we can ensure that future generations of humans (and elephants) can live free — and that horrible methods of warfare don't continue claiming lives for decades after wars end.

Watch Great Big Story's video about Mosha and Dr. Jivacate below:

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An entrepreneurial Ph.D candidate sheds light on how technology helps her grow her small business

https://www.pitasplanters.com

Pita and David in front of their mobile plant shop

True

If there is a positive connection between mental health and caring for plants, Lupita Ríos is determined to make it her life’s work to share it with the world.

Ríos owns Dallas-based Pita’s Planters, a small business offering handmade planters, vases, art, bouquet preservation. Her love of vegetation can be traced back to where she spent her childhood—in the jungles of Guatemala—but it wasn’t until Ríos began struggling with panic attacks after college that she realized how healing plants can be.

During a particularly anxious period in her life, the only thing that brought her comfort was a plant she’d inherited from a co-worker. “Every day I would come into work and see some new growth or a new little leaf, and I would just feel so excited … it was like this little seed of light for me during a time when I was not feeling much joy,” said Ríos.

Pita in her plant shop https://www.pitasplanters.com

So she did what made sense: she kept growing plants, eventually learning how to create pots from recycled materials. During the pandemic, she and her husband opened a mobile plant store, which allowed her to share her passion with people in the community. What began as a meditative hobby quickly turned into a booming business, and Ríos, who is also working towards a Ph.D in Neuroscience, found herself overwhelmed with the things that come with being a small business owner (like keeping up with voice messages!).

“I learn as I go,” said Ríos, mentioning that one of the rookie decisions she made as a first-time business owner was to list her cell phone number under the business as the official contact number. “I quickly learned that was not a good idea! I got calls from customers left and right because the business grew so quickly.”

A friend suggested leveraging technology to keep Ríos’ sanity intact. She enrolled in Verizon Small Business Digital Ready, a free online program that offers small businesses nationwide access to over 50 expert courses and grant funding opportunities. The program includes resources created by small business owners for small business owners, covering topics such as marketing, financial planning, social media management, and more. For Ríos, this was the answer to juggling school and business without dropping any balls while the business continues to grow.

Taking control of her mobile plan was the first step in streamlining—and leveling up!—the business. Verizon’s My Biz Plan allowed her select and pay for only what she needed the One Talk App allowed her to reclaim her cell phone for personal use, and Verizon Business Assistant, a GenAI-powered text messaging solution , has been an enormous time-saver. Verizon Business’ 2025 State of Small Business Survey revealed 38% of SMBs are currently using AI–Lupita is one of many using it to help. Instead of spending precious time replying to every DM inquiring about the hours of her shop or troubleshooting a repotted plant’s wilting leaves, business owners like Ríos can set up, customize, and train a virtual assistant to field these questions.

“I didn't even realize I needed this in my life, but Verizon was like, we work with a lot of small businesses and we have a lot of tools that help set your business up so that I can focus on the products, on the marketing, on everything else. And I know that Verizon's got me covered in other ways where I don't have to think about it so much. It is so nice to have someone looking out for you and saying, ‘Yeah, you're busy. We got you covered here. We can take care of this."’

Verizon is committed to reaching one million small businesses with the resources they need to be successful by 2030—with over 450,000 small businesses like Pita’s Planters already using Digital Ready to help their businesses thrive.

Pita and David at their brick and mortar shophttps://www.pitasplanters.com

As for Ríos’ plans for after she receives her doctorate in Neuroscience? She wants to become a professor and continue growing her plant business.“Honestly, there’s nothing quite like having someone walk in who says they’ve never owned a plant before,” said Ríos. “Let me start your plant journey…within a few weeks, you’ll have a jungle in your house.”

Do you own a small business? Verizon offers over $1M in small business grants every year! Complete an application for the Verizon Small Business Digital Readyportal between May 1, 2025, and 11:59 pm PT on June 30, 2025, to be eligible for the application process for a $10,000 grant consideration.

Education

Simple '30-second rule' can help you win every conversation, even if you're a little awkward

You only have to remember one thing.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

Many people who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page. Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

conversation, fun office, men and woman, funny conversation, jokes, levityA group of coworkers having a laugh.via Canva/Photos

What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

date, conversation, laughs, jokes, salads, dinner, restaurant, cafeA man and woman joking on a date.via Canva/Photos

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

encouragement, poeple in blue shirts, luaghs, my bad, smiles, supportive peopleA man making a joke with other people in blue shirts.via Canva/Photos

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

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'Adults' are super confused by these 15 things the younger generations do

Why are we watching people watch people play video games?!

via Anna Shvets/Pexels

Adults are having a really hard time keeping up with the interests of Gen Z and Gen Alpha

Every generation is different from the one that came before. It makes sense. Every group grows up in different economic, cultural, and technological circumstances, so of course they’re going to have different tastes and values. It’s also natural for younger generations to rebel against their parents and create their own unique identities.

However, these days, with the rapid changes in technology and culture spurned on by the internet, for some older people (Baby Boomers, Gen X), the younger generations (Millenials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha) are downright confusing. Further, Gen Z and Gen Alpha were raised during the pandemic, the #MeToo movement, and the murder of George Floyd, which have had an enormous impact on how they see the world.

To help the older folks who may be confused by “kids these days” feel less alone, a Redditor named 5h0gKur4C4ndl posed a question to the AskReddit subforum, “What is something about the newer generations that you can't seem to understand?”

A lot of the responses were centered around the younger generations’ relationship to technology.

The older generations also seem concerned that younger kids are a lot more prudish than their parents and should learn how to lighten up and have some fun — a big role reversal from previous generational wars.

Here are 15 things about the younger generations that older people don’t understand.

1. Recording yourself crying

For many younger people, everything is "content." Even their most intimate and private moments.

"THIS IS THE ONE. I do not know how intense your desire for external validation has to be for you to be in the midst of crying and think 'Lights, camera, action baby let's make sure as many people see this as possible.'" — Thrillmouse

"People who record themselves crying are already weird but posting it on the internet is weirder. imagine clicking 'post' to every social media they have. do they seriously not look at what they're posting online?" — TryContent4093

gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teensYounger generations constantly turn everything into content.Giphy


2. Poor grammar

AI and automatic grammar checkers may be taking a toll on young people's ability to write for themselves.

"The emails I get from my students aged 18-25 are such a mess of incoherent garbage, I can't tell if they are lazy or if it's an actual literacy issue. And I'm barely older than they are so if this is a generational gap, it happened quickly!" — NefariousSalmander

"It's a block of text with no capitalization or punctuation. Imagine receiving 6 consecutive one-line texts at once. If you can figure out where the periods should go then you can make sense of it, but it's all texting abbreviations and slang. Something like, 'yo mr y u slow fixin my grade I trned in the lab last class my dad gonna take my phone lmk.'" — Ceesa


3. Learned helplessness

"I'm a middle school teacher. My kids will routinely claim they can't do anything and then shut down and do nothing. And then... It's easy and they do it. So basically it's the degree of learned helplessness. They know to ask when I go over, but if there are twenty kids and I get to them last, they will do nothing (no phones, nothing!) for twenty minutes and act surprised I'm irritated they didn't grab a damn pencil from the freeeee pencils on my desk. And then act surprised they're behind on the assignment!" — Scarletuba


4. The internet is forever

Pro tip: Never participate in one of those TikTok "street interviews" after you've had a few drinks.

"The lack of understanding that things put on the internet are public forever." — Leading_Screen_4216


5. No self-confidence

"37-year-old attending college for the first time here. They have negative confidence. They barely speak above a mumble, especially when answering a question from the teacher. Most of them would rather die than talk to someone they're interested in. It's like 90% of them are cripplingly introverted." — Intelligent-Mud1437


gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teensIt seems like young people are easily deflated or embarrassed.Giphy

6. They need attention

Influencer and YouTuber are highly sought after career paths because of the fame and notoriety they bring.

"We were saying what we would do if we won the big lottery jackpot. The new 22-year-old hire said he’d become an influencer. Can you imagine winning a billion at 22 and that’s what you would do? Not start a business, travel the world, charity, sports, property… Learn something… but become an influencer… with a billion dollars. I mean, like, he’s gonna hire a marketing company to fabricate interest in his social media? He’s gonna spend money on stupid things to make people cringe or rage comment? With a billion dollars." — Covercall


7. Put your phone down

"Why do you want to watch 100% of a concert, that you paid good money for, through your phone lens?" — LeluWater

"I was yesterday in a Linkin Park cover band concert, a fuckin blast. There was that one guy, that spent every song recording HIS FACE 'singing' along. Not the band, his face. Please wake me up in 1995." — pls_tell_me

The older generations are right about this one. Recording an experience actively worsens your enjoyment of it in the moment.

8. Phone at the movies

"Why do they go to the movies only to scroll through their phone the entire time?" — IAmASurgeonDoctorHan

"My wife does this. Not at the theater, but we'll be watching a movie or TV show, and she'll be glued to her phone. Then when she looks up she doesn't get what's going on and we have to pause while I explain what just happened and why." — Project2R

Anyone who's fluent in smartphones can get caught up in this one. It's tough to get through a whole movie or show at home without checking your phone! We're all addicted.

gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teensThey have a hard time looking away from their phones.Giphy

9. Paranoia

"I’m in my forties and I manage a small group of people who are in their 20s to early thirties. What I notice most is how anxious and fearful they seem to be. Everyone is out to get them. I often get approached by subordinates who want me to do something about a colleague who is doing them wrong in some way. After I gather more information, it almost always is a case of poor assumption about someone else’s intentions, coupled with a desire to jump to the worst-case scenario. If I ask them a series of probing questions about other possible interpretations they often admit they didn’t consider those possibilities." — Reasonable_Human55

10. Putting on heirs

Comparison is the thief of joy. Only, young people who were raised on social media didn't get the memo.

"I don't understand why most of them want to look rich with expensive s**t and most of them act like they run businesses or something.They take pictures with cars that are not theirs for example. Dude chill, you're 16." — Honest_Math7760

"Because they are indoctrinated by social media that tells them they are a failed human if they don’t become a multi-millionaire entrepreneur." — Outrageous_Glove_467

gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teensThey believe in curating a certain appearance and lifestyle.Giphy

11. The new Puritans

It's weird for Gen Xers and Millennials to be old enough to witness the cultural pendulum swinging back the other way in several key ways.

"This weird new Puritan wave they are riding on. We struggled for generations to free ourselves from oppressive dogmas, and now they are all-in on the whole: 'if you like anything even remotely non-wholesome, you should be arrested and burn in hell.' ... Constantly calling for bans on anything that upsets them, instead of learning how to avoid the things that upset them." — SleepyCera

"The prudishness is so weird to me. Hearing young people talk about body counts' and how you should be married with kids by the age of 25, or you’re past your prime is absolutely insane. Even my Christian grandparents weren’t as sexually conservative as this generation. The complete demonization of partying, drinking, and going out is weird too—like I can see being traumatized by fentanyl and the general lack of safety around drugs, but I did most of my socializing as a young person by going to concerts and nightlife events and meeting people, and they seem to just…not do anything social?" — Counterboudd


12. Can't handle stress

"The absolute lack of capacity to deal with any emotional stress or upheaval without turning into a gibbering mess. ...I had someone messing around in a lecture, playing with their phone and being disruptive. I stopped the lecture and told them to put it away and pay attention or leave. They looked SHOCKED to have been called out and sat there quietly for the next 10-15 minutes until suddenly going all 'deer in the headlights' when asked a question in relation to the topic and then running the full length of the lecture hall and out the room. I was informed the following day that the student had went to counseling services to complain that I had 'put unreasonable pressure on him by asking him questions in class, and set off his anxiety.'" — Indiana_Harris

13. White socks with sneakers

"How pulling up white socks with sneakers was the most unfashionable middle-aged American dad clothing in the entire world. To being fashionable." — Awkward_Moments

"Socks with sandals too. And mustaches. Kids today think dressing like a dorky dad thirty years ago is cool. I laugh at them all the time." — IDigRollingRockBeer

gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teensWhite dad sneakers are SO back.Giphy

14. Watching video games

It is impossible for anyone over the age of 30 to understand "streamer" culture.

"Why they'd rather watch someone else play a video game than play it themselves. That was a punishment when I was a kid, not entertainment." — DeadDevilMonkey

15. External stimulation

"Will never understand the constant need for external stimulation. I’m quite happy just to ponder my own thoughts. I love flying, because it gives me several hours to think on shit without distraction. Ask young people to put down their phone? It’s as if you asked them to chop off their left hand." — Midnight_Poet

Though older generations definitely have a lot of legitimate concerns about younger folks, much of the list was created in jest. In reality, there's a lot to like about Gen Z and Gen Alpha! They have a lot of fantastic qualities. For example, Gen Z is really driving change when it comes to work life balance; they refuse to make career their whole life, getting sucked into the same trap as previous generations. They're also, as a group, quite tolerant of different races and sexualities. They can also be extremely creative and willing to take big risks to achieve their dreams and get ahead in an economy that's stacked against them.

So cheers to you, young people. We only tease because we love you.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Family

People applaud brother for 'blowing up at sister' over the name she chose for her baby

"I told her that the name was completely unacceptable, and I was shocked that she chose it."

via Canva/Photos

A brother and sister in a disagreement.

The name your parents choose for you can significantly impact your life. Whether it’s how you’re treated in school and by peers, your professional prospects, or how well you do in the dating arena. A name is nothing to joke about. That’s why an uncle-to-be is mad at his sister. He thinks she isn’t taking naming her unborn daughter seriously and fears it will have dire consequences for the girl in the future.

What started as a funny joke between the brother (a biology student) and his sister (a nurse) has become a bone of contention between the siblings. It all started when the brother sent his sister a humorous list of potential names for his niece based on medical terms.

“I knew she was struggling, so in addition to the $900 wooden crib on her list that I got for her, I gave her a list of (obviously) joke baby names. We have a really close relationship, and it was in line with both our senses of humor,” the brother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum.

“She's a nurse, and I'm a biology student, so all the names were medications, infections, unpleasant animals, etc., that all sound like lovely girls' names out of context,” he continued. “Some of them were a little bit obscure, sure, but I included some obvious ones like ‘Viagra’ and ‘Hernia’ for good measure.

baby, newborn, baby name, baby crib, sleeping baby, birth, A newborn baby sleeping.via Canva/Photos

The problem was that the sister liked one of the names and plans on giving it to her daughter. “Malassezia. The baby's name is Malassezia. One of the names on my joke list. Outside of the immediate issues (nearly impossible to pronounce on the first try, the ‘ass’ smack dab it the middle of it, the first syllable being mal-, literally meaning bad or evil), it's also the name of a very common fungal infection,” he wrote. “One that my sister and I are both genetically predisposed to. One that we've both had multiple times throughout our lives. Her daughter will almost certainly catch it at some time!” The brother told his sister that the name is “completely unacceptable.”

What is Malassezia?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, Malassezia occurs when “yeast that occurs as part of your skin’s natural flora multiplies and infects the hair follicles,” the website reads. “The condition causes itchy pimples to form on your face, scalp and upper body. Healthcare providers treat this fungal infection with topical and systemic antifungal medications.”

The mother completely understands the downside of the name but insists that “it's so obscure that no one will ever think twice about it.” The mother-to-be simply likes the sound of the name. Unsure of what to do, the brother posted the story on Reddit to see if he was in the wrong.

birth certificate, baby name, baby footprint, baby hospital, doctorA doctor taking the baby's footprint.via Canva/Photos

The vast majority of the commenters thought he was totally right to demand the baby’s name be changed.

"I share your frustration, and you're looking out for your niece. While your sis is right that it's her parental right, you're not stepping out of line -- you're family and you're cautioning her,” one commenter wrote. "Tell [the father] so he can veto it,” another commenter added. “Also, how is your sister not thinking about the embarrassment that is going to come with this name? The doctors at every baby appointment will know. I wouldn't be surprised if doctors and nurses giggle when they see her chart. And when she's in school, kids will likely find out what her name means and bully her. Tell your sister to think about her daughter's future. She's thinking too much about her feelings and not thinking about her daughter who would have to live with that name."

One commenter broke the name into chunks and found it has multiple meanings. “Mal = bad + ass = bad ass. So we have the nickname. Now Ezia - Hebrew for elegance? e-Zia as in electronic aunt (Italian?) or electric cottage/home/campervan (Pueblo?),” they wrote.

The only people who thought the brother was wrong were those who believed his sister was pulling a fast one on him. “You gave a joke name list and seem unable to tell she's joking back,” they wrote.

Ultimately, just about everyone agrees that the brother was right to speak up. Names matter, and kids have to live with them their entire lives. Hopefully, his sister takes the hint before her daughter has a name better suited to a microscope slide than a birth certificate.

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Joy

He made a tiny house for his stray cat visitor, and it turned into an adorable kitty village

Talk about heartwarming kindness.

Representative Photo credit: Canva and Rumeysa Yilmaz|Pexels

A sweet story of the cat distribution system at work.

Tiny houses are still a popular choice for people trying to downsize but tiny houses for cats are springing up in one man's backyard.

Back in 2024, Barna thought he was doing a good deed for a stray cat that decided that he kinda liked hanging out in this human's backyard. At first, the cat would show up but wouldn't eat the food set out for him. That didn't stop Barna.

The man continued to set food out for the cat. Taking note of the changing weather, Barna decided to take one of his hobbies and build the cat, now named Domino a cozy little house. Building things is a hobby for him, so he made sure to equip Domino's tiny abode with a heating pad, light and camera.

Before too long the situation turned into a version of the famous children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Another cat showed up (because of course Domino had a bestie) but it didn't stop there.

Barna built a tiny two story condo for the two cats to hang out in while still keeping Domino's original tiny house. The backyard looks like it was made to host furry tenants in a makeshift cat community because more cats indeed showed up. Soon the tuxedo cat had several neighbors to hang out with and thanks to Barna, none of the cats looked like they were missing any meals.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"We have about four or five cats who will go in and sleep in the houses," Barna told The Dodo. "One night one of the biggest storms of the year hit, I saw that two kittens actually took shelter in the house. That was one of the sweetest things ever."

Barna had cameras set up inside and outside of the itty bitty kitty community so he can keep an eye on his feline neighbors. The cats' landlord expressed that he feels gratification seeing his little houses be used by furry tenants. Having a group of cats around probably isn't too terrible for keeping pests away either, so it's a win for all involved.

Down in the comments, people applauded Barna for taking such good care of his feline friends.

"If you build it, they will come. what a kind and thoughtful gentleman to take care of these babies during the hard weather."

"This man has such a good heart."

"How a man treats animals reveals who the man is. This is a good man."

"Just imagine how good the inside of those little houses feel to a kitty after he or she has been outdoors in all kinds of weather for who knows how long. They would finally be able to relax and get a good sleep. Kudos for being so kind and handy."

"There is most definitely a special place in heaven for the animal rescuers. I love you."

"This world NEEDS more people like this gentleman.""Indeed, the world could definitely use a few more Barnas. Best of luck to him and his kitty companions.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Love Stories

Brutal video nails the heartbreaking reason it's often so hard to leave a 'situationship'

"I feel like I should end this."

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash
woman and man standing next each others

The idea of no-strings-attached casual sex is nothing new, although not everyone is a fan. The concept traces all the way back to the 1700s, when men would refer to a casual fling as "combing their wigs." (I made that up, but maybe?) It wasn't really until the early 90s when the term "booty call" became popular–and whether you were in your 20s or 70s, it was pretty self-explanatory. A part of you was being beckoned–and it wasn't your mind.

In 2011, not one but two relatively terrible romantic comedies with the same plot were released. One was No Strings Attached starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, wherein the two lead characters decide to have a casual affair as friends, with no expectations.

Friends with Benefits, which was released within a six-month time period, ironically starred Ashton's future wife Mila Kunis, alongside Justin Timberlake. Shocker, they are ALSO "just friends" who think they can have sex and not have it get awkward.

Spoiler–EVERYONE FALLS IN LOVE after learning some dumb, obvious lessons. Much like in the much more charming When Harry Met Sally, the best friend was the love of their life ALL ALONG. But in real life, unfortunately, that's not often the case, at least, not for both parties.

Portlandia, Netflix and Chill, Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein, situationshipA scene on the couch from PortlandiaGiphy

These days, though the preferred term "Netflix and Chill" has taken the place of a Call of Booty, it seems there are more "situationships" than ever. The idea is that nothing is defined, there are no rules and no presumptions. You're not "a couple" but you'll do "for now."

On @Alloromono's TikTok page, a clip is posted of a man and a woman having a very candid (scripted) conversation about their "hook-up" status. It's a masterclass in attachment styles, with one seemingly avoidant and the other anxious. It begins with the woman (we'll call her Katie) saying to the guy (we'll call him Momo, because that's seemingly his name), "I like you." He reciprocates, although when they show with their hands how much, his hands are much further apart. He notes, "There's an imbalance."

@alloramomo

Situationships #situationship #relationship #love #dating #comedy #fyp

Katie then asks, "What do you see when you see me?" Momo answers, pensively: "A relationship?" Katie then awkwardly replies that she's only in it for "fun dates." He immediately says he's cool with it, but–you know how this goes–IS he? She asks that question straight away and he says, heartbreakingly, "Not really, but I'll pretend."

This is where things get super real. She straight-up tells him, "You're gonna develop feelings that aren't substantiated by anything tangible." To which he says, with such honesty, "I'll just keep hoping that you'll change your mind."

After Katie tells him he's delusional, she says bluntly, "You're gonna get hurt. Why would you put yourself through that?" And (get ready to have your soul shattered), he answers, "Well I'd rather have some of you than none."

She tries to get logical. "I feel like I should end this before it gets to that point. The longer we see each other, the harder the blow will be for you." And here's where it all comes down. He calls her bluff, saying, "So end it." "Hmm," she thinks. "I won't." He asks why and she shares, brutally, "Because I'm getting everything I want at your expense. YOU end it." And what he says next is so very raw: "I won't. Because I lack the self-respect to walk away."

It's, as mentioned in the comments, quite reminiscent of the film 500 Days of Summer–a beautiful reflection on falling in love, limerence, and everything in between. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind also comes to mind, as the idea that no matter how much we try, we so often repeat patterns and wind up in the same place, fully knowing how it ends.

It also inspires many of the commenters to look at their own situationships, with one declaring, "I'm breaking up with my situationship TODAY."

- YouTube 500 Days of Summer movie, Joseph Gordon-Leviit, Zooey Deschanelwww.youtube.com

Momo makes a lot of these videos, which seem to be tools for modern-day dating. As the idea has become normalized (or at least more common), the Internet is teeming with articles in terms of defining the indefinable and/or how to end something that's not working for you.

VeryWellMind chimes in with health writer Sanjana Gupta's 2024 piece, "Situationship: How to Cope When Commitment is Unclear." Gupta defines "situationship" and lists pros and cons of the setup. A pro, she writes, is "there is less responsibility. Relationships can consume a significant amount of emotional energy. Situationships, on the other hand, don't require a huge emotional investment. People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way. This type of relationship allows them to have an emotional presence and connection in person, but when apart, they can have their freedom."

sex and the city, carrie bradshaw, casual sex, situationship, couplesA scene from Sex and the CityGiphy

The disadvantages come when expectations shift. "Even though both partners might agree on the dynamics when they enter the situationship, one person might grow to want more than the other is willing to give. It can also be stressful to be in a relationship without stability or consistency. This is particularly true if you start to develop expectations of your partner, but they have not committed to meeting those expectations."

She gives helpful suggestions on how to navigate the whole thing. Not only should you be honest with your partner, but be honest with yourself. What do you really want? And the moment that doesn't align with what you say you want, you need to ask for it. "Avoid the passive approach," she encourages.

So, the next time it's time to Netflix and Chill, make sure your head and your heart are on the same page (or at the very LEAST, make sure the movie is good).

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