The newest front in America’s culture wars are drag shows. Some conservative activists claim that they are being used to “groom” children into becoming LGBTQ+ by exposing them to the culture at a young age. However, that logic shows a profound misunderstanding of how human sexuality works.
“What we do know is it doesn’t look like there’s much that changes [sexuality] externally,” Clinton Anderson, acting chief of psychology in the public interest for the American Psychological Association, told PolitiFact. “The changes that happen seem to happen naturally because of how people develop—not because something is being done to them.”
The “grooming” claims also dredge up an old homophobic stereotype that suggests LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be child predators, which, according to multiple studies cited by the Southern Poverty Law Center, is entirely false.
We must protect Texas kids from sick adults who want to sexualize them.
No drag shows.
No porn in their libraries.
No gender transition surgeries.
Yes to letting kids be kids.— Bryan Slaton (@BryanforHD2) June 13, 2022
Facts be damned, Bryan Slaton, a Texas Republican state lawmaker, said he will propose a bill that would ban people from performing drag shows in the presence of minors. Florida’s Republican governor Ron DeSantis is looking into charging people who bring children to drag shows with “child endangerment.”
Taco Bell isn’t shying away from the controversy surrounding drag performances. It’s been hosting a drag brunch tour across the U.S. since May, which has included stops at its cantinas in Las Vegas, Chicago, Nashville and New York City. Taco Bell Cantinas are upscale versions of the fast food chain that serve alcohol. The company says the shows are a way to celebrate “the wonderful artform of drag and its influence in culture with their chosen families.”
The drag brunches are also a way to spotlight and support the It Gets Better Project to expand “workforce readiness resources for LGBTQIA+ youth around the globe.”
There is one stop left on the tour, June 26 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Maybe DeSantis will stop by for a mimosa and realize that drag queens aren’t that bad after all.
The drag brunches are hosted by the aptly-named Kay Sedia (pronounced “quesadilla”) a self-proclaimed “Tupperware Diva” who stars in a one-woman stage show, the “Taco Chronicles.” Diners at the brunch are served a Bell Box featuring a Grande Toasted Breakfast Burrito, Cinnabon Delights and hash browns. Of course, the festivities wouldn’t be complete without the drag brunch staple, the mimosa.
During the shows the drag performers lip-sync, dance, tell jokes and host a twerking contest featuring the audience. Tips are collected by a group of “Bell Boys,” who wear satin shorts, open shirts and stuff the money into glittery rainbow fanny packs.
“This was so much fun! I’m so glad to be a part of it,” drag performer Alexia Noelle Paris, who appeared at the Nashville show, told the OpenTable blog. “We made herstory. Living in Nashville you learn that most of the people that come downtown are not only tourists, but for the most part have probably not been to a drag show so getting to see everyone’s faces and reactions was great.”
Even though some Americans are attempting to push LGBTQ+ people to the sidelines by launching a war on a joyous tradition, Taco Bell didn’t flinch and kept the party going.
In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.
“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.
“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.
Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.
Understanding the journey
Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.
Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.
A warm welcome
Dee and Omary's son, Osman
Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.
“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”
Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.
“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”
Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.
“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”
More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.
“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”
Extending the welcome
Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.
Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.
“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.
Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.
“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.
“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”
Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
Tourists see new places with fresh eyes and fresh observations. In 2024, 72.4 million tourists visited the United States, according to the National Travel and Tourism Office. (That’s a lot of eyes seeing America in a new light.)
Tourists to the States have pointed out that Americans really do like to put ranch dressing on everything. They’ve also noted that in the U.S., squirrels seem to run rampant.
While these are insightful observations, most Americans would say they already know them to be true. On Reddit, Americans shared the shocking realizations they had about the U.S. that were only revealed to them by tourists.
As one American noted, “I’ve lived in the US my whole life. Somehow, I’ve never noticed this before.”
These are 15 eye-opening things tourists brought to Americans’ attention that truly blew their minds:
Culture
“We sure do have a lot of flags everywhere.” – myfourmoons
“American coins don’t have numbers on them. Some of the coins will say ‘One Cent’ or ‘Quarter Dollar’ but I don’t think that’s helpful if your English is not so good. And sometimes that labeling is just not in a place that easy to see on a coin.” – chocotacogato
Michael White, a former spokesman for the United States Mint, told The Gainesville Sun that the reason coins in the U.S. don’t have numbers is simple: “It is an artistic choice in the majority of instances.”
White added that certain coins in the past in the U.S. have used numerical notations, including the dime, nickel, and quarter. The article notes, “From 1809 to 1836, there was a half dollar imprinted with ’50 C.’ That was changed to ’50 cents’ for two years and then, in 1838, artistic choice deemed it should be called ‘half dollar.’”
“The gap around the stall doors in public restrooms. It’s weird, and I hate it.” – SidheRa
“Bank drive-thru lanes. I was told ‘why don’t you just get out of your car and walk in the bank?’” – JWilsn_Art
According to Wells Fargo, “motor banks” (aka drive-in and drive-thru banks) were invented in the U.S. and came into existence in the 1930s.
“That every morning, all American children from kindergarten to 12th grade, stand before the US flag (found in every classroom, ofc) and recite “the pledge of allegiance” to the country in unison, with their right hands over their hearts. Upon learning this universal American school experience, my Russian colleague said: ‘That is the most Comm*nist thing over ever heard!’” – jzzdancer2
The Pledge of Allegiance, written by Francis Bellamy, debuted in 1892, according to the American Legion. Over the years, it went through various edits until it was recognized by Congress and included in the U.S. Flag Code on June 22, 1942.
“How much daily life revolves around cars. In many cities, if you don’t drive, you basically don’t exist. It’s convenience on steroids.” – Prior_Bank7992
Mannerisms
“That Americans switch between hands when eating with silverware, cutlery, etc.” – BasilRevolutionary38
Called the “cut-and-switch” table habit, it’s described by NPR as when you “hold your fork in your left hand and cut with your right and then put down your knife so you can switch your fork to your right hand before you take a bite.”
Americans actually adapted this use of cutlery from the French. Writer Mark Vanhoenacker explained to NPR, “Americans got it from France in the 19th century even as France was giving it up, and no one knows why France gave it up. Maybe just convenience or another change of fashion.”
“We smile too much. To the point where foreigners, specifically Asians (Korean and Chinese) have pointed out that our smiles feel disingenuous and mean nothing. Really hit home, but despite that, I still smile ‘too much’.” – BMdabbleU
“How much casual socializing we do with strangers. From small talk to things people in other places consider weirdly intimate (like talking about health problems).” – Practical-Water-9209
“The lean! The fact that people from the U.S. tend to lean on things while standing, no matter how inappropriate a place or circumstance. I’ve thought about it, and I think its because the U.S. (for the most part) isn’t walkable, so we aren’t used to standing for as along as other countries.” – Lobstertales143
The Central Intelligence Agency has deemed the “American Lean” a dead giveaway that someone is an American. In 2019, Jonna Mendez, the CIA’s former chief of disguise, and Gina Haspel, former CIA director, told NPR that Europeans can easily spot Americans in a crowd.
“They think that we are slouchy, a little sloppy,” Mendez said. “And they think that they can almost see that in our demeanor on the street because they stand up straight. They don’t lean on things.”
Food
“Root beer tastes like medicine. It’s still my favorite soda but… yeah it tastes mediciney.” – TheNerdNugget
“Had a German foreign exchange student and she said ‘All American breakfast is dessert. Pancakes, donuts, Cinnabon, muffins, French toast…’ I was like yea you have a point lol.” – dom954
Words
“Apparently Americans use the word ‘awesome’ a lot. I’ve had people in other countries tease us for how we think everything is awesome lol. But to be fair, tons of things ARE awesome, and also you’re talking to me on vacation when I’m in the best mood of my life lol.” – Gold_Telephone_7192
“‘Yeah’ ‘Yeah no’ ‘Yeah right’ ‘Oh yeah’ ‘Hell yeah!’ All mean different things!” – zippy_97
It’s wonderful to go on vacation and learn all about other people’s cultures. But when you travel to another country, you also learn a lot about your own. When you’re a fish out of water, it’s easy to see the ways you stand out in a foreign environment. It’s especially noticeable when you’re an American, because your culture is known around the world.
A big way Americans stand out overseas is through their fashion. Wearing a New York Yankees cap, cargo shorts, and white New Balance sneakers may be camouflage in America, but in Paris, you stick out like peanut butter on a baguette.
To reveal the many ways Americans stand out while traveling, a Reddit user asked non-Americans a simple question: “Besides their accent, what’s one way you know a tourist is American?” The post received over 18,000 responses. Evidently, there are a lot of ways to spot an American abroad.
Here are 13 of the best responses:
1. They wait to be seated
“When visiting Paris, my wife and I learned they don’t seat you at restaurants. You just walk in and sit down at an available table. We figured it out after standing around at the entrance a few times. Then we started noticing other American tourists doing the same.”
2. They start conversations with everyone
“Saying ‘hi, how are you?’ to the barista, servers, retail workers. My country doesn’t quite have that culture so I find it really sweet.”
“I’m fascinated with Norway and remember watching a vlog from an American who had moved there. She said one of the biggest differences was the lack of politeness, because people view it as fake. I would love to live somewhere that’s more introverted than the US.”
“The absolute fearlessness of asking anyone on the street about anything.”
“This is something i still don’t understand after being in Europe for a few years. Why are people so afraid of other people just like them?”
“I’ll literally talk to anyone that wants to chat me up, never thought that was uniquely American.”
“When I went to Italy with a friend, I couldn’t figure out why everyone greeted me in English before I said a word. I don’t wear running shoes outside of the gym, I dress pretty posh, I can’t remember the last time I owned a baseball cap, and I try to have a basic grasp on the local language. How can they tell I’m American? My friend told me, ‘it’s because you’re smiling at them.’”
“It’s not so much about the fact that Americans smile, it’s how you smile. Nobody here smiles with their teeth. Maybe if they heard a really funny joke or are trying to look happy in a picture, but that’s about it. When I visited America, my family literally spent hours trying to learn how to properly smile with all your teeth showing. I still can’t do it correctly, it looks weird. I remember the first times I saw pictures from a highschool yearbook on the internet. I thought, ‘What is wrong with them? Why are they smiling so much?’ If you smile with your teeth at someone in Europe, it’s either your job, or you’re American.”
“Americans recognize other Americans in most countries because they smile at strangers on the street.”
“I live in New York, I don’t understand this smiling thing.”
Why do Americans smile so much? It’s because they come from a diverse country. A study of 32 different countries found that emotional expressiveness is correlated with diversity. When people are around others from diverse cultures, they are more likely to use a smile to build trust and cooperation.
4. Americans are very polite
“Some of yous are way more polite than expected. Whenever I hear someone say ‘ma’am’ I know they’re American. Like one time I was in Lidls and there was an American family asking someone who worked there if they sold ‘cell phones’ and when the woman said they didn’t they were all ‘oh okay, thank you for your time ma’am! Have a great day!’ which is mucb more cheery than the average Scot.”
“Yes, sir, that’s southern manners.”
“I’m gonna piggyback the Midwest in here, too. If you just walk away without putting something like this in Kansas, you might as well have slapped them.”
“Most American tourists I’ve come across are really friendly and talkative. They always seem to be genuinely stoked to be here haha.”
“Let’s put it this way: in the Eurozone, you can make a day trip of going to another country. For most of the US, getting to literally any other country is a massive ordeal with a huge price tag, so when we get to go, it’s a really special occasion that we have to make the most of because a lot of us have no idea when or if we’ll ever get to do it again.”
6. They are amazed by old things
“Girlfriend used to work on a farm and an estate in the U.K. and would often have Americans in awe of the old buildings. One once said ‘some of these buildings are older than my country.’”
“Reminds me of that old saw ‘Americans think a hundred years is a long time, Europeans think a hundred miles is a long way.’”
7. They need to find a trash can
“If you see an American in Japan, they will frantically look for public trash cans. The absence of trash receptacles is something unfounded in the US, and we become confused at the idea of having to hold it for extended periods of time.”
“EXACTLY!! Im American, went last year and i ended up having half of my backpack filled with trash until i found a trashcan, it didnt help it was mid summer so we would buy drinks from vending machines a lot, not all the vending machines had trashcans.”
“Tipping. Americans will try to tip everyone, even in countries where tipping isn’t a thing/is considered a serious insult.”
“True. I used to work in a bar in the UK, and American customers would insist on tipping me even after I declined. The relief on their faces when I took the money was hilarious.”
9. They shop late at night
“They’re looking for a store open at like 11 pm. Even if in most European countries stores close at like 7-8 pm.”
“Yeah, I’m italian but live in the US right now. One of my coworkers went to Italy on vacation and she was texting me stuff like ‘there’s no circle k here?’ Lmao.”
10. Just look at their feet
“Americans will be wearing sneakers.”
“Yep. I walked into a museum in Germany, and the woman selling tickets greeted us in English. We were dressed conservatively, and hadn’t said a word, yet she knew. I asked her how, and she said, ‘It’s your shoes.’ Indeed, I was wearing running shoes.”
Although there is no specific reason why Americans tend to wear sneakers more often than people in other countries, a major factor is car culture. When you don’t walk much, you value comfort and style over everything else. Plus, America is a country based on individuality, which breeds a culture that’s more casual than in other developed countries.
11. They take off their shoes in the airport
“I hear that us Americans can easily be spotted in the airport by the fact usually were use to taking off our shoes in TSA.”
“Dude when we landed in Japan a couple of years ago I started to take my shoes off to go through customs and I’ll never forget, one of the agents there just completely froze and looked at me like I had frogs coming out of my ears. He then motioned for me to put my shoes back on. I was very embarrassed.”
12. It’s how Americans dress
“Baseball caps, University spirit wear, cargo shorts, free t-shirts from events with ads and text all over them, and for the older Americans, they always seem to just kinda stand in the middle of everything looking around.”
“People may mock Americans for wearing shirts with ads on them but Europeans and their soccer (ahem, football) gear is just as questionable.”
“As opposed to football jerseys with ads prominently featured on the design that the wearer paid good money for.”
“For the longest time, I thought that there was a soccer team named Fly Emirates.”
“If they buy peanutbutter. It sounds very weird, but everyone who buys peanut butter where I work, turns out to be American.”
“I was desperately homesick while living in Belfast and had a quiet cry in the grocery store because I wanted it and couldn’t find it. I eventually did, made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and felt better. Not seeing the sun for three months was doing my head in.”
Interestingly, although Americans are stereotyped as the biggest consumers of peanut butter in the world, it’s actually much more popular in developing nations such as Burkina Faso, Myanmar, and Chad, where it is used as a nutritional supplement and an ingredient in soups and stews.
Head anywhere in the Southern United States, and you are likely to hear one distinct word: “y’all.” “Y’all,” which combines the words “you” and “all,” may be predominantly used in the South—but not for long.
Paul E. Reed, a linguist at the University of Alabama who studies Southern American English and Appalachian English, told NPR in 2025 that “it’s expanded much more outside of the South” thanks to Americans under 40. (Add it to the list of Gen Z slang.)
How “y’all” entered the English vernacular is a fascinating tale. Linguist Danny Hieber, PhD, explained the origin story of “y’all” to his TikTok followers—and it stems from a surprising language.
According to Hieber, present-day English doesn’t have a plural form of the word “you” like other languages. In Old English, there were three forms of “you”:
Thou (subject)
Thee (object)
Thine (possessive)
Hieber goes on to explain that “you” became singular thanks to French. In French, “you” translated to:
Tu (singular)
Vous (plural + polite)
“After the Norman Conquest of England in 1066, French had a huge influence on English,” he said. “So English speakers started borrowing that pattern into English and used ‘you’ to politely address one person.”
He added that over time, this became the default way to address a single person. Along those same lines, the word “be” also followed suit.
“It used to be that the verb ‘be’ was conjugated like this,” explained Hieber, with the plural use becoming “are.” “That singular verb got pulled along into the singular too, and now the conjugation of ‘be’ looks like this:”
I am / we are
Thou art / you are
He, she, it is / they are
However, it created a “gap,” and “English speakers have been trying to settle on a ‘you [plural]’ ever since,” said Hieber. Enter: y’all.
There are many theories as to how y’all infiltrated American English in the 1700s, per NPR. One theory states that it has British origins, where the words “ye” and “aw” were combined and used in the British Isles. From there, Scots-Irish immigrants brought it to Appalachia in the U.S.
The other theory is that it originated in West Africa, and when enslaved people were brought from there to the South, it began to spread. After the Great Migration, Black Americans brought the term north with them, expanding its use.
However, the term “you guys” is still commonly used in most Northern states. There are also many regional variations throughout the country, including “yinz” (used in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) and “youse” (used in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania).
Americans respond
Viewers had lots of opinions on Hieber’s video, including how different regions have termed the plural form of “you”—and their thoughts on y’all:
“Sorry… y’all is singular all y’all is plural.”
“In the upper Ohio Valley, we also say things like, ‘All yinz guys,’ a sort of amalgamation of Pittsburgh’s ‘yinz’ (we’re an hour away), and the Midwest ‘you guys.’”
“From CA but living in the south..I just cannot bring myself to say y’all..feels so unnatural.”
“Washington born and y’all made it into my vocab.”
NBA legend Kobe Bryant was one of the greatest competitors of his generation, and his work ethic was distilled into a single phrase: Mamba Mentality.
“You wake up every single day to get better today than you were yesterday,” Bryant said in an interview posted on Twitter (X) in 2020. “Doesn’t matter what you are—basketball player, hockey player, golf player, painter, writer… doesn’t matter.”
It was about dedication to the process, not just the results, and about obsessively preparing and outworking everyone else in the building.
Bryant described one way he placed process above everything else in a 2015 interview with Jemele Hill during BET’s Genius Talks. She asked Bryant, “How did you become one of those people who doesn’t seem to be afraid of failing?” Bryant flipped the question on its head.
Bryant didn’t believe in failure
“Seriously, what does failure mean? It doesn’t exist. It’s a figment of your imagination. What does it mean? I’m serious. I’m trying to think. How can I explain it?” he responded.
He tried to explain the concept of failure through the opposite idea—perpetual success—which he also didn’t believe exists:
“So let’s use happy endings then we can relate this to failure, why it’s not existent. Everybody talks about how everybody wants a happy ending, right? Now, let’s go through the reality of it. Let’s look at a fairy tale story. It’s like Snow White. She gets a happy ending. She finds a prince or whatever, she goes along, she lives happily ever after. Well, I call bulls**t on that because two months later, the fact is they had an argument and he’s sleeping on the couch. Right? So the point is, the story continues. … So if you fail on Monday, the only way it’s a failure on Monday is if you decide to not progress from that, right?”
Bryant added, “So to me, that’s why failure’s not existent. Because, you know, if I fail today, okay, I’m going to learn something from that failure, and I’m going to try again on Tuesday. I’m going to try again on Wednesday.”
Later in the interview, he extended this belief across disciplines, noting that even if he never achieved his ultimate dreams on the basketball court, he would take the lessons he learned there and apply them to his next endeavor—for example, business.
“But, if I don’t take that stuff and apply that someplace else, then that’s failing, which to me is the worst possible thing you could ever have is to stop and to not learn,” Bryant said.
The Mamba Mentality has a life of its own
Bryant’s thoughts on success and failure mirror the oft-repeated wisdom that it’s not the destination but the journey that truly matters. Sure, you’re going to win some games and lose others, but the most important thing is constant improvement, no matter the arena. That’s the Mamba Mentality. Although Bryant may have left us, his drive lives on in everyone he inspired to be their absolute best.
Have you ever been in a meeting where something appeared…off, but you couldn’t explain why? That subtle feeling is the Icelandic concept of intuition known as InnSæi (pronounced “in-sy-ay”).
In our hyperconnected world, we’ve grown distant from this inner wisdom. Notifications ping, feeds scroll endlessly, and information floods in from every direction, taking us far away from InnSæi.
To do so, it’s worth asking: what if you could reconnect with this lost sense? What if you could tap into this hidden intelligence to make better decisions, lower stress, and handle life’s uncertainties with more confidence?
This brings us to InnSæi. Let’s explore what it means, why it’s more relevant than ever, and how you can begin cultivating it today.
The true meaning of InnSæi
The word InnSæi combines two Icelandic roots: Inn (meaning “inside” or “inward”) and Sæi (to see, also evoking “sær,” meaning “sea”). This beautiful, poetic compound reflects three connected aspects of intuition.
A person sits in front of the ocean with their back to the camera. Photo credit: Canva
The sea within
This refers to the ongoing activity of your unconscious mind: a place of imagination, vision, and quick pattern recognition that works below conscious awareness. Neuroscientist Joel Pearson describes intuition as “the learned, productive use of unconscious information.” Your mind is constantly active, continually connecting ideas, like a steady, ever-moving current. Research shows that our brains begin processing decisions up to seven seconds before we are consciously aware of them.
To see within
Self-awareness, also known as metacognition, is like a mirror for your mind, allowing you to clearly observe your thoughts, feelings, and reactions. It helps you differentiate genuine intuition from fears, biases, or wishful thinking that can obscure judgment. Studies show that developing metacognitive skills improves emotional control and boosts decision-making. By turning your focus inward, you can block out the noise and pay attention to what truly matters in your inner world.
To see from the outside
This dimension represents an inner compass, or the natural competence to steer life’s uncertainties with inspired confidence. It focuses less on strict rules and more on staying true to your authentic values and deeper intuition. This compass provides clarity, focus, and fortitude, guiding you through the most chaotic times.
Why intuition is more important than ever
We live in an era of constant information overload. Today, an average person consumes more data in a single day than someone in the 15th century did in a lifetime. Our attention has become a limited resource, continuously pulled by content algorithms, 24-hour news cycles, and endless virtual distractions.
Three children play with a tablet. Photo credit: Canva
This nonstop flow of information can drown out your intuition. It creates a disconnect from your body, your internal signals, and the indicators that could guide you toward the right path. As Icelandic author and intuition expert Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir notes, “We’ve outsourced our inner expertise.”
Intuition embodies more than just a desirable trait; it is a key part of innovation, creativity, and effective leadership. A 2017 study found that Nobel laureates see intuition as a key factor in their revolutionary findings. Similarly, business leaders often credit their most successful decisions, especially in uncertain or urgent situations, to their gut instincts.
Intuition is like a muscle—you can strengthen it through practice.
Try this: Take a few slow, deep breaths. Put one hand on your stomach and notice its movement with each inhale and exhale. Ask yourself what you are sensing—warmth, tension, calm, or unease. Name these feelings silently or out loud. Notice any changes as you breathe and pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do this daily to make the signals more familiar.
Ask yourself simple, honest questions: How am I feeling today?Is this decision aligned with who I am right now? Notice whether your stomach feels at ease or tense.
With regular practice, your body’s internal signals grow clearer.
2. Keep a daily journal (5-15 minutes)
Stream-of-consciousness journaling is a profoundly effective way to gain mental clarity. Letting thoughts drift freely onto paper without editing or restraint creates mental space. Research shows that handwriting improves clarity and memory more than typing.
Someone writes in their journal. Photo credit: Canva
Try this: Set a timer for 5 to 15 minutes and write without stopping. Do not analyze, censor, or judge what you write—just keep the pen moving. If you hit a blank, write “I don’t know what to write” repeatedly until another thought appears. Afterward, briefly review what you wrote and make a note of any emotions or physical sensations you notice.
Over time, you’ll begin to observe patterns: recurring fears, internal critical voices that aren’t yours, or repetitive thought loops. Building this awareness helps you distinguish between true intuition and mental chatter. As you write, pay attention to your body. Observe physical reactions to your ideas.
3. Be mindful of what captures your attention
Your focus is the gateway to intuition. It shapes your inner world and your perception of reality. Yet, we rarely notice what captures our attention during the day.
Try this: Carry a small notebook throughout your day. When something captures your attention—a phrase, a color, or a strong emotion—immediately write it down, noting the time and place. Keep this up for a week.
A woman writes in her journal. Photo credit: Canva
At the end of the week, review your notebook. Select 10 words or phrases that stand out most. Write these in a vertical list on a new page. Spend two minutes simply observing the list—do not analyze. Notice if feelings, ideas, or connections come to mind. Write down any motifs or impressions that arise.
Flow is the magical state where you forget about time and self, fully immersed in what you’re doing. Research shows that in states of flow, the brain decreases activity in executive control regions and increases activity in sensory areas, creating space for intuitive insights to surface.
A woman in a black dress holds a scarf in the wind. Photo credit: Canva
Try this: Select a task that is meaningful but slightly challenging for you. Set a timer for 60 minutes. Remove all potential distractions (phone, notifications), and consider playing only instrumental music. Focus on the task without stopping to judge or edit. Afterward, take three minutes to note how you felt and any thoughts that came to you during the session.
Gunnsteinsdóttir used this technique when developing a strategy for her work on InnSæi. She downloaded a template, set a timer, and let her vision flow onto the page. “I didn’t stop to think about what I was writing; I simply allowed what emerged to flow,” she explains. After 60 minutes, she read what she had written and made only minor tweaks.
After your flow session, reflect in your journal: Did you lose sense of time? What would you do differently next time? Did this state help you access your inner compass?
Charting your way forward
In tough times, a strong InnSæi is vital. Trusted intuition anchors you and yields richer guidance.
Begin with one small new practice: spend five minutes on intentional breathing each morning, or write a journal entry at night thinking about how your body felt that day. Keep a notebook for tracking observations that catch your attention. Schedule one 60-minute flow session each week. Track your progress in your journal and review it weekly to notice changes or patterns.
A person in a white t-shirt and colorful hat sits in front of the water with their back to the camera. Photo credit: Canva
With practice, your inner signals grow clearer. Observation becomes sharper, decisions more confident, and you handle uncertainty with ease. Your ever-present intuition is a steady guide. Will you make space to listen?
Begin now—your inner compass is prepared to guide you.
“You are not going to come home with me?” he said, audibly frustrated. When she said no, he pushed back: “But I bought you a drink.” She got up and walked away.
A TikTok user who goes by @tripptokk10 was standing nearby when this happened, already at the bar ordering his own drink. He watched the woman leave, looked at the man still standing there working through his grievance, and made a decision. He ordered two shots.
“I slide it over to him,” he explained in his TikTok video, posted December 20, 2025. They took the shots together. Then he leaned in and made his point: “So are you going to come home with me or what?”
The logic was the same. The conclusion was absurd. That was exactly the point.
In the video, filmed casually at home in a robe and bonnet, he explained what he was responding to: “This one’s for the boys who think buying a woman a drink at the bar means that she should go home with you. No, it doesn’t. She doesn’t know you.”
A man stares at a woman at a bar. Photo Credit: Canva
The same creator posted a second video about another night, different bar, same basic dynamic. This time a man had approached one of his female friends, put his hands on her shoulders without asking, and kept going despite her visibly trying to shrug him off. When she tried to walk away, he reached for her hand. The TikTok user stepped in and told him to back off.
What happened next is the part that stayed with people. The man started apologizing, directing the apology not at the woman he’d been grabbing, but at the guy who’d intervened. “You didn’t do anything to me,” the creator told him. “You were harassing her.”
The man’s response: “I respect you so much.”
He described how confused and frustrated he felt in that moment. “Go apologize to her and change your behavior,” he said in the video, “because an apology without changed behavior is just a manipulation tactic.”
That line hit harder than the shot glass moment for a lot of viewers. The dynamic he was describing, where a man harms a woman and then seeks absolution from another man rather than the person he actually hurt, is one that gets talked about in academic gender studies literature but rarely gets explained so plainly in a 60-second video in a bathrobe.
Neither incident is complicated. Nobody got arrested, nobody threw a punch, nobody did anything that required a news alert. What spread was simpler than that: one person noticed something wrong, said something proportionate, and kept his head on straight when the whole thing got weird. Apparently that’s still worth talking about.
This article originally appeared earlier this year.
It’s true that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. But it’s our own personal relationship to those 24 hours that greatly determines what that day looks like.
Time is one of those things that is both a constant in our collective reality, and yet highly subjective to the individual. It’s why one person hears “We need to be there 6:30” and translates that to “We need to be out the door in fifteen minutes,” and another person translates it as “Oh, I have plenty of time to change my clothes, walk the dogs, listen to a podcast, and clean out that junk drawer!” And of course, these two individuals will be spouses. It is universal law.
It would seem that—much like how knowing whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between can help you navigate social settings—knowing your MO when it comes to time management can really help make your day flow a lot smoother.
That’s where the four “time personalities” come in.
In an article for Verywell Mind, experts Kristin Anderson, LCSW, and Dr. Ryan Sultan, explained that most of us fall somewhere on a spectrum between “very rigid” and “very flexible.” There are, of course, various factors that dictate why we might fall into a certain spot—including neurodiversity, age, and other aspects of our overall personality. But regardless, knowing the gifts and challenges of our go-to time management settings can greatly affect how we “function.”
See which one below seems to resonate the most.
The 4 Time Personalities
1. The Time Optimist
The never-ending mantra, or perhaps the “famous last words,” of this personality is “I’ve got plenty of time!” regardless of what the clock says.
Because of this, Sultan says time optimists “don’t really feel pressure under a time crunch.” They truly believe they can fit multiple tasks into a short amount of time and don’t easily account for potential delays, which leads to chronic tardiness.
“They’re ones who leave for a dinner reservation with just enough time to get there, as long as there’s no traffic and they hit every green light,” said Sultan.
Folks who consider themselves time optimists might benefit from exploring the “double it rule,” which has you automatically double the amount of time you think it’ll take to get somewhere or complete a task.
2. Time Anxious
Unlike time optimists, “time anxious” personalities feel an enormous amount of pressure, assuming “everything that can go wrong, will go wrong (e.g., traffic, delays, getting lost on the way).” Therefore, they attempt to ease this tension by showing up to things incredibly early.
Dealing with time anxiety involves many of the same tools to handle everyday anxiety, such as grounding techniques (5-4-3-2-1 technique, deep breathing), cognitive restructuring (challenging perfectionism, setting realistic goals), and structured planning (using calendars/apps, setting “worry time”). These strategies help shift focus from the future to the present, reducing the fear of wasted time. And maybe, just maybe, the time anxious can experiment with being fashionably late to low-pressure situations.
3. Time Bender
For time benders, the whole concept of time is merely subjective. Where time optimists overestimate what they can accomplish within a certain amount of time, time benders create entirely different time rules for themselves. “Being 10 minutes late basically counts as on time,” Anderson uses as an example.
These are the curious, creative souls who thrive under pressure and easily lose track of time when they reach a flow state, or bounce from inspiring task to inspiring task.
To help curb time-bending tendencies, a good option could be the “Pomodoro Technique,” which has you working in focused, 25-minute bursts followed by short breaks to maintain high energy and concentration.
“Time blindness” might sound very close to “time optimism” and “time bending,” but the former is associated with an actual inability to perceive the passage of time. That’s why Anderson and Sultan explained that this category is frequently found in those with ADHD or executive function issues.
4. Time Blind
“It’s not that these folks don’t care about being late or making other people wait,” said Anderson. “Without external reminders or cues, it’s easy for them to lose track of how long things take, which makes sticking to a schedule more challenging.”
Sultan added, “Their brains actually have a difficult time registering and processing temporal information, causing impairments in working memory, executive functioning, and temporal discounting.”
Though time blindness might be more deeply ingrained than the other three personalities, there are several proven tools that can help—from simple, tried-and-true methods like visual/audio timers (think hourglasses and analog clocks) to apps designed to help strengthen time estimation. And of course, these tools aren’t exclusively beneficial to those with bona fide time blindness. Optimists and benders can try them out as well.
Once you better understand how you uniquely navigate time, you’re better able to (a) incorporate strategies that help you work within your limitations and (b) give yourself a little grace. Perhaps that last part is most important.
As many are in the habit of doing, a man recently took to TikTok to “vent.” His “story time” was about his choice to end a 10-year friendship after not getting invited to said friend’s wedding. It soon became undeniably clear that he wasn’t alone in having an experience like this.
In the now-viral clip, the creator, @yonosoyasi5, explained that he understood that weddings are special, expensive moments, and therefore “not everyone can go.”
However, he admitted that “I went through so much with this person that I thought I had made the cut.”
This blow ultimately caused @yonosoyasi5 to accept that the friendship as he knew it had come to a close. There was no animosity, but there wasn’t any effort, either.
“I wish him the best. I never wish him ill. But to say that I wanna be a part of his life now, it would be very fake. I just don’t care anymore,” he said.
Even when confronted by a member of that shared friend group, @yonosoyasi5 was upfront about his stance, saying, “What am I gonna hang out with him for? What’s the objective of me putting energy into this friendship?”
TikTok reacts
The video soon got an onslaught of comments from people who had similarly heartbreaking experiences—and developed similar mindsets.
“One of my BEST guy friends for 8+ years did not invite me to his wedding. I introduced him to his wife. They went out because of me. I have never been more hurt in my life. I cut off the relationship …and they always try to pull me back closer…I can never pull the knife out of my back.”
“It’s not actually the wedding invite, it’s finding out the person doesn’t see you as a close friend.”
“Once you exclude me from important moments, I will exclude you from my entire life.”
“I think at our age we want to get back what we put into friendships/relationships. You love with your whole heart, so to not have it reciprocated is hurtful. I feel ya.”
“Crazy…this happened to me…20 years of growing up down the drain.”
Lastly, one person even said, “friendship breakups are WORSE than romantic breakups.”
Woman sitting alone on a bench overlooking the water. – Photo credit: Canva Photos
Many experts seem to agree with this notion. Or, at the very least, that friendship loss triggers what’s known as “ambiguous grief,” which is the feeling of anguish that comes from losing someone physically while they are psychologically present (e.g., missing person, mental illness, divorce). Our stress responses are triggered, our feel-good chemicals get depleted, our sleep gets disrupted—which is all a science-based way of saying it hurts. Really bad.
This level of ambiguous grief really depends on what the friendship personally meant to a person. In @yonosoyasi5’s case, it meant a great deal. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate these difficult transitions.
Coping strategies for friendship loss
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Even once you’ve reached acceptance and found other meaningful relationships, waves of yearning for what’s past may still creep up. Allow space for those feelings. They will pass.
2. Use it as a learning opportunity
Without assigning blame, you can get curious about what might have caused the relationship to end. This way, you can set clear friendship intentions moving forward.
3. Engage in self-care
Journal, meditate, reclaim old passions, exercise, and get outdoors. These things tend to help with grief of all kinds.
4. Appreciate the support systems you still have
Taking stock of the good friends that remain in your life can help offset any feelings of loneliness and reinforce a sense of belonging, experts say.
Bottom line: cutting someone out of our lives hurts, but that pain might truly be the lesser evil in the long run. May we all have the foresight to know the difference and seek out those who do give us such grace.
