Linguist explains simple reason Boomers use ellipses in texts all the time
One generation's texting habit that baffles every generation is the Boomers' seemingly excessive use of ellipses. Do you have more to say, Aunt Judy, or did you just accidentally press the period key too many times? Maybe it's for a dramatic pause or to put emphasis on a point? This is truly a mystery that leaves every generation below them confused about what is meant by the dreaded "dot dot dot."
Texting etiquette differs with every generation. Gen X and most Millennials use fairly proper grammar and punctuation throughout a text message exchange. Every new sentence starts with a capital letter, there are strategically placed Oxford commas to ensure there's little room for misunderstandings, and sentences end with an appropriate punctuation mark.
Joyful moments captured: A cheerful day out!Photo credit: Canva
When it comes to Gen Z, they find that ending text messages with proper punctuation indicates that the person they're texting is being passive-aggressive. They also text in shorthand and emojis that can feel a bit like you need a special decoder ring to decipher the messages. But texting in an encrypted way can be chalked up to youth, though the same can't be said when it comes to Boomers. Or can it?
Harvard linguist and author of the book Algospeak, Adam Aleksic, breaks down why so many Boomers use ellipses when texting. It's surprisingly not as complicated or dramatic as one may imagine. In a viral video posted last year on TikTok, Aleksic explains his theory for the texting etiquette of Boomers.
Two generations connecting through their smartphones.Photo credit: Canva
"You know how older people tend to use the 'Boomer ellipses' whenever they're texting? There's always a random 'dot dot dot' in the middle of their messages?" Aleksic asks. "Well, that's because they grew up following different rules for informal communication. Nowadays, if you want to separate an idea, you just press enter and start a new line with a new thought, but it made less sense to do that for writing postcards or letters, where you had to save space, so people back in the day learned to separate thoughts by using ellipses."
Aleksic explains that this is also true for when phones first started allowing text messaging. You were charged by the message, so ellipses made it more efficient to convey all the thoughts in one message instead of multiple ones. SMS texting also had a character limit, unlike current phones, where you can essentially write a novella in a single message without your phone automatically breaking it up.
Today's texting standards typically mean people separate their thoughts by sending multiple messages for separate thoughts, though that annoys some people. If separating thoughts means you'll be sending no less than five texts in quick succession, it's likely best to just space down to make the text longer, rather than bombarding an unsuspecting friend.
When it comes down to it, younger generations have adapted to the new standard, embracing the unlimited text option, while Boomers haven't. Due to this discrepancy in text etiquette, the ellipses used by Boomers throw people for a loop.
Elderly man working.Photo credit: Canva
"That means the Boomer ellipses became redundant, which is why they cause confusion today. They violate what we call 'the maximum quantity;' they add more information than necessary, so they appear to imply something more than the intended meaning. Most of the time, that comes off to younger people as hesitation, annoyance, or passive aggressiveness because that's how we use the ellipses," the linguist shares.
So, no, your grandma isn't mad at you or avoiding telling you something; according to Aleksic, she's just trying to send you multiple messages in one. There's no hidden emotion behind the ellipses for Boomers; it's simply a habit left over from their younger years.
Mo Gawdat is reframing our relationship with emotions.
We've all been there: it's 90 degrees outside, absolutely sweltering, and you're walking home from a new smoothie shop less than a mile away from your apartment, and everything is melting. The smoothie in your right hand. The açaí bowl in your left. Your old, broken headphones slowly slip off your head as a song you've never heard before blares through the speakers. Your willpower is diminishing by the second, and no one is around to help you.
Okay, that might be a bit specific (and precisely what happened to me about an hour ago). Still, you've likely had a similar experience: an encounter that left you annoyed, frustrated, or feeling hopeless.
But what if I told you that, according to Mo Gawat—a former Google executive who has spent the last 20 years researching the mechanics of happiness—you only need to endure that emotional roller coaster for precisely 90 seconds?
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It's time to meet the man who is revolutionizing our understanding of our emotions—and giving us all a science-backed way to hit the reset button on our worst days.
Mo Gawat isn't your typical wellness guru peddling crystals and manifestation journals. This is a guy who spent decades crunching numbers at Google X, the company's "Moonshot Factory," where he pursued ambitious, high-risk but potentially world-changing projects that tackled large-scale global problems like climate change, healthcare, and communications. But his most profound discovery about human happiness stemmed from his darkest hour.
When Gawdat's 21-year-old son Ali died from preventable medical negligence during what should have been a routine surgery in 2014, he faced a darkness that would define the rest of his career. A clear choice emerged: he could either let this grief consume him, or honor his son by dedicating his analytical mind to a path Ali had always encouraged him to pursue—spreading happiness to as many people as possible.
Solve for Happy by Mo GawdatCredit: Amazon
Seventeen days after losing his son, Gawdat sat down and began writing Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy. Through this book, he uncovered a revolutionary truth: our emotions aren't permanent. They have expiration dates.
Here's where things get fascinating. When developing what would later be known as the "90-second rule," Gawdat stumbled upon the findings of Harvard-trained neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. Similarly, her research was also formed in the pressure cooker of an unexpected, dramatic life experience: the moment when she underwent a massive stroke.
As Dr. Taylor's left brain hemisphere shut down, she gained unprecedented real-time insight into how emotions function in the body.
What she discovered is that when something triggers you—be it a spilled smoothie or a coworker's passive-aggressive "per my last email" message—your amygdala (think of it as your brain's overly cautious security guard) floods your system with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart starts to race as if you've just spotted a bear and begun to run, your muscles tense up, and that instinctual fight-or-flight response surges through your body.
The brain's amydala. Photo credit: Canva
However, this chemical cascade has a built-in timer. As Dr. Taylor discovered, it takes approximately 90 seconds for these stress hormones to be flushed from your bloodstream. Meaning that, after that initial surge, the physical component of your emotional reaction is over.
But why doesn't it feel like that? Why do we marinate in our emotions—anger, sadness, confusion, delusion—for hours, days, or more? That's because, after those 90 seconds, we make a choice, usually without realizing it, to keep those emotions going by mentally rewinding and replaying the triggering event.
"What happens is, you run the thought in your head again, and you renew your 90 seconds," Gawdat explains. It's like poking a bruise that's formed on your knee, or hitting refresh on your personal stress response button. Every time you mentally revisit a stressful event—analyzing what you should have said, reimagining confrontations, and crafting the perfect comeback—you're essentially retriggering that same potent chemical reaction that occurred in the first place.
Woman feeling hopeless. Photo credit: Canva
So, while that 90-second episode of emotions ends quickly, we end up ruminating about what happened: over and over and over and over again.
This is more than a mere annoyance—it's rewiring our brains in a bad way. Research shows that rumination doesn't just prolong our bad moods, it intensifies them and can lead to anxiety and depression. We're thinking ourselves into extended mental states simply by focusing too much on the past.
What happens when you've successfully coasted through those initial 90 seconds but still feel like the world is out to get you? Gawdat developed a handy three-question reality check that serves as an emotional fact-checker for your brain:
Question 1: Is it true?
Gawdat claims that "90% of the things that make us unhappy are not even true." Think about it: your partner seems distracted during dinner, and suddenly your brain spins an entire narrative about how they've fallen out of love with you. But how much of that is real? And what percentage of your little daydream can be chalked up to your brain being its usual dramatic self?
At best, our brains are excellent storytellers. The problem is that they're prone to writing fiction and presenting it as truth.
So, the next time you find yourself spinning up a stressful "what if?" situation in your head, take a beat, and ask yourself a different question: "Is it true?"
Question 2: Can I take action?
If the answer to question one is "Yes, it is true," then move on to Gawdat's second question. Are there steps you can take?
If you have a real problem on your hands, then perfect! Channel that energy into solving it rather than drowning in it.
Question 3: Can I accept it and still create a better life despite it?
Here's where things get tricky. If you can't do anything about the situation, the final question before you becomes about "committed acceptance." No, not passive resignation, but actively choosing to move forward and build something better despite the circumstances.
This can be difficult—remember, this process began with Gawdat searching for a way to make sense of his son's death—but these questions aren't about forcing toxic positivity or pretending like problems don't exist. They help your brain make sense of what's happened, distinguishing between productive and unproductive emotional energy.
To understand how this works, it helps to think of your brain as an overprotective, hovering parent who sees danger everywhere. "Your brain isn't your source of truth," Gawdat explains. "It's just a survival machine. A search party. It throws thoughts at you, hoping something will protect you. But that doesn't mean any of them are true".
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Your mammalian brain evolved to keep you alive, not happy. When modern life presents you with stressful situations—traffic jams, work pressures, particularly hot and evil temperatures—your ancient survival systems register these "threats" with the same emotional urgency as a saber-toothed tiger attack.
So, what does this really look like in real life knowing the science is only half the battle?
Step 1: Notice the surge. When you feel that familiar rush of anger, frustration, or anxiety, create a mental note. "Okay, this is a chemically induced wave of emotion," you might say to yourself without judgment.
Step 2: Set a timer, literally. For the first 90 seconds, your job is to observe. Feel every emotion to its fullest: your heart racing, your muscles tensing, your breath shortening. Acknowledge these physical sensations without trying to fix or stop them.
Step 3: Breathe and wait. Deep breathing can help calm your nervous system after an onslaught of chemical reactions and prevent your brain from fueling the emotional fire mentally.
Step 4: Choose your response. When those 90 seconds pass, you have what Gawdat calls a "buffer," a moment of clarity when you can decide what to do next.
Step 5: Apply the three questions. If you're still upset after the initial wave, run through Gawdat's reality-check framework.
The 90-second rule offers a unique perspective on relating to your vitally essential emotions. Emotions provide information about the environment and motivate us to take action. The 90-second rule helps us experience our emotions fully without letting them hijack our entire day—or life.
This framework connects to Gawdat's broader "happiness equation," which posits that happiness equals life events minus expectations. Much of our suffering comes not from what happens to us, but from the gap between the triggering event and what we think should happen.
As Gawdat puts it, "Life doesn't give a damn about you. It's your choice how you react to every one of [life's challenges]". Which may sound harsh, but when put into practice, can prove quite liberating.
The next time you feel yourself crashing out, remember: you have 90 seconds to feel as irrational as humanly possible. After that? You get to decide how to spend the rest of your day.
A man delivering a compelling message.
In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" that invites the listener to accompany him on a psychedelic journey. The song immediately draws you in because the first line plants you in the scene: “Picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.” The song is gorgeous, strange and totally unique because it makes the listener part of the story.
Lennon probably didn’t know it at the time, but he was using a communication technique that great conversationalists and compelling public speakers use in their repertoire. It involves switching to the second person and asking the audience to place themselves in your scenario.
John Bowe, acclaimed speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in an Age of Disconnection, tells CNBC that he makes this connection with the audience by using the three-word phrase: “Imagine this scenario.”
A man making a sales presentation.via Canva/Photos
Bowe says the phrase immediately does four things: It pulls your audience in by prompting them to visualize what you are about to tell them; it then brings them into the present moment with “this," primes them for a story, and taps into an essential part of the psyche by making the story about them. On average, people spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves. Why? Research shows that it makes them feel good. So, when you invite people to inject themselves into your speech, they are all ears.
The phrase, or something similar, can be used in a variety of situations when you want the audience to really listen to your story:
“Have you ever ridden in a car with a sunroof…”
“Picture yourself behind the wheel of this beautiful Cadillac…”
“Imagine yourself driving down Pacific Coast Highway…”
“Can you remember a time when you really embarrassed yourself in front of your wife?”
“Imagine this scenario, you’re all alone with three kids and one scrapes their knee.”
“Remember what it felt like on the last day of school…”
A man with his hands open making a speech.via Canva/Photos
In advertising, there's an old saying that comes from the same understanding: “Don’t tell me about your grass seed; tell me about my lawn.” People don’t want to hear about your product; they want to know how it can improve their lives. So instead of saying, “Joe’s grass seed is made with a unique mix of fungicide,” you’d start the advertisement by asking, “Is there a brown patch on your lawn that, no matter how often you water it, just won’t turn green?” It works because you made it about the audience. They will instinctively start thinking about that brown patch, and then consider buying your product.
Using communication tips like these can make you feel a little manipulative when interacting with others. However, it’s not about being manipulative; it’s really all about taking the time to understand the audience and putting them first. Imagine the scenario...being in the audience and the speaker actually cared about you. Feels pretty good, doesn’t it?
Roommate creates 'emotionally hostile refrigerator' to stop snack thief
Almost everyone's got a bad roommate story, but this one takes the cake (or, rather, doesn't take the cake — not without asking first!)
Some things are just universally frustrating. At the top of that list is likely looking forward to eating something delicious you stored in the refrigerator, only to find it missing. Whether this happens in a communal fridge at work, a dorm room, or at home with your family, the experience is equally frustrating and disappointing.
One person has been dealing with this very scenario: he noticed his snacks and other food disappearing from the shared refrigerator. No, a mouse hadn't figured out how to raid the refrigerator—but it would've been a more understandable culprit. Turns out the man's roommate had been helping himself to food items he did not purchase. We aren't talking about community items like milk or coffee creamer. The missing food includes items like leftovers and personal snacks.
Craving dilemma: donuts vs. healthy snacks.Photo credit: Canva
The man initially shared his frustrating situation on the Reddit thread, r/AITA, after his roommate took offense to his solution.
What was the solution? Well, feeling like he was out of options after directly speaking to the roommate and labeling food that belonged to him, the man devised a plan. To get the inconsiderate roommate to stop eating everything in the fridge, the man turned to Googly eyes. He put Googly eyes on everything in the refrigerator that belonged to him in hopes it would deter the sneaky snacker. His plan worked, but the snacking roommate's comments about his solution had the man wondering if he crossed a line.
"My roommate eats everything. I’ll buy a pack of cheese sticks, and they’re gone by morning. I asked nicely, then labeled stuff. No change. So I got creative: I bought a pack of stick-on googly eyes and put them on everything. Milk? Eyes. Leftover spaghetti? Judging you. Even taped one to a banana. It worked. He said it 'creeped him out' and he stopped eating my stuff," he shared in the forum.
Man puzzled by a googly-eyed potato in the fridge.Photo credit: Canva
He went on to say that his roommate described his googly-eye trick as passive-aggressive, likening him to "creating an emotionally hostile refrigerator."
Who knew kitchen appliances could be so openly ruthless to late-night snack bandits? Overwhelmingly, people agreed that the master of the googly eyes is not the bad guy in this situation.
"That phrase is pure gold. Roommate sounds like he's got some serious food guilt if googly eyes make him feel judged," someone says.
"It's not 'passive-aggressive' if you discussed the problem in person and asked him to stop, and he ignored you. You just got creative in how to address it. I can't think why it worked, but since it did, more power to you. Tell him if he agrees not ever to eat your labeled food, and doesn't, you'll restore the refrigerator to its pre-surveillance condition, unless and until he starts stealing food again." Another person writes.
Judgmental banknote: "Put the leftovers back, Bill!"Photo credit: Canva
'Did he use the phrase "emotionally hostile refrigerator"? Really? Because it makes him too uncomfortable to steal your food? I'd have laughed his sorry butt right out the door," someone else quipped.
One person suggests upping the ante, commenting, "Put the eyes everywhere. Under the toilet seat. On the front door. On the stairs."
"Act surprised when they are pointed out to you," someone else adds, writing, "'I only did the ones in the fridge, I don’t know where those are coming from.' Or pretend you don’t even see them."
feel fridge GIF Giphy
People could not get over the phrase "emotionally hostile refrigerator" and encouraged more shenanigans to make the fridge live up to its new name. Someone suggested making angry eyebrows above the eyes, while others offered turning them into smiley faces with conversation bubbles. Other people thought making a sign for the refrigerator door that warned that it was emotionally hostile would be fitting. Since the googly eyes seem to be doing the trick, it doesn't seem like they'll be going away any time soon.
This serves as a reminder that it's always best practice to ask before eating something that isn't yours, even if it's inside a shared refrigerator. If not, you may find yourself feeling like somebody's watching you.
