I'm a queer black woman. This is how you can help me feel safe in Trump's America.
'Let your whispering become a violent roar. Let us know that you won’t leave us to fight alone.'
I am a black, queer woman.
And on election night in America, I was made perfectly aware of just how much many Americans are not ready for me.
In all honesty, I am not truly surprised by this election's outcome — hatred has always been embedded in the fabric of this country's design. America has never been the one to admit its faults. I often feel like we believe that if we don’t talk about a problem, then there won’t be a problem. As George Santayana, a Spanish philosopher, once said, “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
Never owning up to our hatred and intolerance of anyone not white, rich, Christian, or male, is exactly what Trump tapped into to win this election.
Trump played on the fear of the unknown, and America allowed it.
He should have never been taken as a joke in the first place. He should have never made it this far. But he did, thanks to the media and the people who live here.
Now, many of us, minorities specifically, must be prepared for whatever monstrosities are thrown our way. We must prepare for warfare. Mental warfare. Psychological warfare. Physical warfare. We must keep our heads up and faith high.
Protesters gathered outside Trump Tower in New York on Nov. 9, 2016. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.
So, allies, what do I need from you this week?
Minorities might be strong, but we’ll need you too. I know that you might not know how you could help us. I know that you might feel guilty. But I need you to not allow this to deter your activism. Get involved. Help us fight the fight. If you are deterred, fight harder — this is what we are used to. Look out for us. Continue to go to protests. Continue to defend us. Have our backs.
Let your whispering become a violent roar. Let us know that you won’t leave us to fight alone.
In these trying times, we need to unify more than ever before.
We need to collect ourselves and focus on how we will overcome. The country has made a mistake, but we can brave the oncoming storm. We may be in America, but we are not of it. America has allowed hate to consume it, but we will not allow hate to consume us.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."