"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."
Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone…while also tending to a newborn.
All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties. Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Democracy!
TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.”
This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear—his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).
The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.
“It's unfortunately the end of my maternity —ahem— paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video, via voiceover. “I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”
He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memories—losing track of time to “watch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instance—he feels “guilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.
“[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.
You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.
@ustheremingtons I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON Açaí 👊 Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleave #dadtok #dadsover30 #dadlife #fyp #foryoupage #ditl #ditlvlog #maternityleave #newbornlife #newbornbaby #secondbaby #2under2 #toddlerlife ♬ original sound - Tiffany + Caleb
Why is he doing this? His wife, aka “the lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the housecleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.
Doing a fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his “fair share” was actually doing “the bare minimum.”
“It has taken multiple conversations — and many ongoing ones — to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home.”
Proof that having difficult conversations can lead to better understanding!
Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.
“I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says.
Definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.
Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives.
This article originally appeared on 9.7.23
"The light is moving a million times faster than a bullet.”
Gavin Free and Daniel Gruchy aka the “Slow Mo guys,” have filmed all sorts of things in, you guessed it, slow motion—everything from popcorn makers to giant water balloons to even tattoo guns. Each of their videos feels a bit like “Mythbusters.” Just a couple of guys making science super fun.One of the Slow Mo Guys’ most popular videos, with a total of 41 million views on Youtube to date, features the fastest thing known to man: light.
Since light travels at an unfathomable 186,000 miles per second, Free and Gruchy had to reach out to CalTech for a camera that could capture “10 trillion frames per second,” which they said was “20 million times faster than the fastest we've ever filmed on this channel."
The team first shoots a beam of light through a bottle of milk water. Even though to the naked eye, it looks as though the bottle instantly lit up, the later footage reveals the light (a sort of blue ghost-like thing in the playback) travels from one side of the bottle to the other.
“Every frame seems to be ten picoseconds,” Free says. “And we're just sort of casually watching this go left to right through the bottle, but in reality the light is moving a million times faster than a bullet.”
Watch the full video below, which includes a few other fascinating slow motion experiments with light.
She's a little afraid to leave her cabin.
A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.
“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“
Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.
“One of the hardest things about living on a cruise ship is that I know right now, if I just leave my cabin, I can go and have cookies, pizza, a shake, I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,” she said in a TikTok video that received over 400,000 views.
The hardest part about living on a cruise ship is that I am surrounded by free food all of the time anything I want I just had lunch but it’s 2 o’clock in my body tells me it’s either cookie time or time for a hamburger. The hardest part is telling myself not to eat. #hardestpart #cruiseship #livingatsea #koningsdam #weliveonacruiseship #cruisefoodie #foodtok #itsaproblem #halcruises #hollandamericaline
“I am laying here. It is 2 pm. I had a salad for lunch, I had some fresh fruit, but that didn’t fill me up,” she continued. “Right now, all I can think about is eating a burger with some French fries and some mayonnaise.”
“And that, folks, is the absolute hardest part about living on a cruise ship,” she said. “I am surrounded by food all the time.”
She added, "The hardest part is telling myself not to eat.”
Kesteloo’s trouble is a common problem among people on cruise ships. A study by Admiral Travel Insurance found that over 60% of people who go on a week-long cruise anticipate gaining weight. Seventeen percent of people say they gain 2 to 3 pounds on a cruise, while 14% say they gain 4 to 5 pounds.
Other estimates show that the average cruiser will put on 5 to 10 pounds on a weeklong cruise. Imagine living on a cruise ship for half the year, like Kesteloo. She could quickly put on 100 pounds a year if she's not careful.
"I’d be huge if I lived there. I would feel like I’m on a constant vacation, and who diets on vacation?" Theresa Gramelsapcker-Wilson wrote in the comments.
"This is my main reason why I couldn’t do this HHAHAHAHAHAA," Cara Mia added.
"I never thought about those who actually live on a cruise ship. I would be 500 pounds," Lucky Penny2468 said.
Kesteloo’s battle with temptation shows that in every life, a little rain must fall. Nobody ever truly has it perfect. Kesteloo seems to be living the perfect life on board a cruise ship, but she still has to fight temptation every moment of the day or make good use of the ship’s gym facilities. But, obviously, having access to too much food is far better than having too little.
This article originally appeared on 9.5.23
J.R.R. Tolkien hated Nazi “race doctrine” and no problem telling his German publishing house about it.
In 1933, Adolf Hitler handed the power of Jewish cultural life in Nazi Germany to his chief propagandist, Joseph Goebbels. Goebbels established a team of of regulators that would oversee the works of Jewish artists in film, theater, music, fine arts, literature, broadcasting, and the press.
Goebbels' new regulations essentially eliminated Jewish people from participating in mainstream German cultural activities by requiring them to have a license to do so.
This attempt by the Nazis to purge Germany of any culture that wasn't Aryan in origin led to the questioning of artists from outside the country.
Nazi book burning via Wikimedia Commons
In 1938, English author J. R. R. Tolkien and his British publisher, Stanley Unwin, opened talks with Rütten & Loening, a Berlin-based publishing house, about a German translation of his recently-published hit novel, "The Hobbit."
Privately, according to "1937 The Hobbit or There and Back Again," Tolkien told Unwin he hated Nazi "race-doctrine" as "wholly pernicious and unscientific." He added he had many Jewish friends and was considering abandoning the idea of a German translation altogether.
The Berlin-based publishing house sent Tolkien a letter asking for proof of his Aryan descent. Tolkien was incensed by the request and gave his publisher two responses, one in which he sidestepped the question, another in which he clapped back '30s-style with pure class.
His publisher sent the classy clap-back.
In the letter sent to Rütten & Loening, Tolkien notes that Aryans are of Indo-Iranian "extraction," correcting the incorrect Nazi aumption that Aryans come from northern Europe. He cuts to the chase by saying that he is not Jewish but holds them in high regard. "I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people," Tolkien wrote.
Tolkien also takes a shot at the race policies of Nazi Germany by saying he's beginning to regret his German surname. "The time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride," he writes.
25 July 1938 20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people.
My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.
Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and
remain yours faithfully,
J. R. R. Tolkien
This article originally appeared on 2.15.22
"Our moral compass is skewed if we think things like this are acceptable."
These are called "anti-homeless spikes." They're about as friendly as they sound.
As you may have guessed, they're intended to deter people who are homeless from sitting or sleeping on that concrete step. And yeah, they're pretty awful.
The spikes are a prime example of how cities design spaces to keep homeless people away.
Not all concrete steps have spikes on them, but outdoor seating in cities like Montreal and Tokyo have been sneakily designed to prevent people from resting too comfortably for too long.
This guy sawing through a bench was part of a 2006 protest in Toulouse, France, where public seating intentionally included armrests to prevent people from lying down.
Of course, these designs do nothing to fight the cause or problem of homelessness. They're just a way of saying to homeless people, "Go somewhere else. We don't want to look at you,"basically.
One particular set of spikes was outside a former night club in London. And a local group got sick of staring at them.
"Spikes do nothing more than shoo the realities of poverty and inequality away from your backyard — so you don't have to see it or confront what you can do to make things more equal," Borromeo told Upworthy. "And that is really selfish."
"Our moral compass is skewed if we think things like this are acceptable."
A bed covers up spikes on the concrete.
The move by Space, Not Spikes has caused quite a stir in London and around the world. The simple but impactful idea even garnered support from music artist Ellie Goulding.
"That was amazing, wasn't it?" Borromeo said of Goulding's shout-out on Instagram.
Artist's puppy books and home comforts.
"[The project has] definitely touched a nerve and I think it is because, as a whole, humans will still look out for each other," Borromeo told Upworthy. "Capitalism and greed conditions us to look out for ourselves and negate the welfare of others, but ultimately, I think we're actually really kind."
"We need to call out injustice and hypocrisy when we see it."
A message to offer support in contrast with current anti-homeless laws.
These spikes may be in London, but the U.S. definitely has its fair share of anti-homeless sentiment, too.
Spikes are pretty obvious — they're a visual reminder of a problem many cities are trying to ignore. But what we can't see on the street is the rise of anti-homeless laws that have cropped up from sea to shining sea.
Legislation that targets homeless people — like bans on panhandling and prohibiting people from sleeping in cars — has increased significantly in recent years.
For instance, a report by the National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty that analyzed 187 American cities found that there's been a 43% hike in citywide bans on sitting or lying down in certain spaces since 2011.
Thankfully, groups like "Space, Not Spikes" are out there changing hearts and minds. But they need our help.
The group created a video to complement its work and Borromeo's hoping its positive underlying message will motivate people to do better.
"[The world] won't always be happy-clappy because positive social change needs constructive conflict and debate," she explained. "But we need to call out injustice and hypocrisy when we see it."
Check out their video below:
This article originally appeared on 07.24.15
- Restaurant owner defends homeless man after customer complaint - Upworthy ›
- Convertible sleeping bags become insulated tents for homeless - Upworthy ›
- This van delivers meal and socks to the homeless in New York - Upworthy ›
- Pizza shop owner faces fines to let homeless man stay - Upworthy ›
- Study gives free money to homeless people to spend however - Upworthy ›
"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."
Norine Dworkin-McDaniel's son came home from school one day talking about Newton's first law of motion.
He had just learned it at school, her son explained as they sat around the dinner table one night. It was the idea that "an object at rest will remain at rest until acted on by an external force."
"It struck me that it sounded an awful lot like him and his video games," she joked.
A writer by trade and always quick to turn a phrase, Norine grabbed a pen and scribbled some words:
"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."
And just like that, she started creating "The Science of Parenthood," a series that names and identifies hilarious, universal parenting struggles. She put in a quick call to her friend Jessica Ziegler, a visual and graphics expert, and together the two set out to bring the project to life.
Here are some of their discoveries:
1. Newton's first law of parenting
A taste of the “gimmies."
2. The sleep geometry theorem
There’s plenty of room.
3. The baby fluids effusion rule
4. The carnival arc
Can we go?
5. The Archimedes bath-time principle
Clean up the clean up.
6. Schrödinger's backpack
7. The naptime disruption theorem
Who needs sleep. It’s rhetorical.
8. Calculation disintegration
I have a calculator on my phone.
9. Chuck e-conomics
How much does that cost?
10. Plate tectonics
Where’s the chicken tenders?
Oh good, sunburns.
12. Delusions of launder
When did we get all these clothes?
13. The Costco contradiction
I want them now, not then.
Norine and Jessica's work struck a nerve with parents everywhere.
Norine said almost every parent who sees the cartoons has a similar reaction: a quiet moment of recognition, followed by a huge laugh as they recognize their own families in the illustrations.
But is there more to it than just getting a few chuckles? You bet, Norine and Jessica said.
"Even, at the worst possible moments, you're standing there, your child has just vomited all over you, or you've opened up the diaper and your kid is sitting waist deep in liquid ****. Even at that moment, it's not really that bad," Norine said. "You will be able to laugh at this at some point."
"It gets better. You're not alone in this parenting thing."
This article originally appeared on 11.30.16