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He was born a girl. He knew he was a boy. And what his parents did … well, just take a look.

These parents are doing it right by accepting their child for who he is.

By

Laura Willard

Array
Array – Photo credit: Array

This story originally appeared 2.13.15

Parenting is about being the best mom or dad we can be to our kids. Sometimes it’s simple. Other times, it might not be what we anticipated or imagined. But that doesn’t really matter — because there’s no straightforward manual for raising kids. And when we take on this gig, we’re responsible for loving our children unconditionally.

Jeff and Hillary Whittington wanted to be parents.

[rebelmouse-image 19503871 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×550″ expand=1]

They got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. (Cuuuuute baby, right?!) They named her Ryland.

On Ryland’s first birthday, they learned she was deaf.

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Like any parents would be, Jeff and Hillary were sad when they learned the news because of the additional challenges Ryland would face. Ryland received cochlear implants and learned to speak and hear. Things were going well.

But Ryland needed them to know something else.

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Ryland wanted everyone to know that she was a boy. Some people told Ryland’s parents that it was “just a phase.” But the thing about phases is that they end. Ryland’s feelings and expression of them only got stronger.

Ryland’s feelings were not a “phase.”

[rebelmouse-image 19503874 dam=”1″ original_size=”800×442″ expand=1]

Ryland was expressing who he was — a boy.

And the inability to be himself was too much to bear.

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Shame is destructive and painful. And nobody — a child or an adult — should feel shame for who they are. Psychotherapist Ami B. Kaplan says: “Simply being different is enough for any child to develop some shame, but being different and getting messages from family, teachers, other kids and society that your difference is undesirable, less-than or something to be made fun of can create shame.”

Ryland continued to share the truth.

[rebelmouse-image 19503876 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×550″ expand=1]

It wasn’t a phase. It was Ryland’s reality.[rebelmouse-image 19503877 dam=”1″ original_size=”850×468″ expand=1]

So Ryland’s parents did what any good parent should do. They listened and learned.

[rebelmouse-image 19503878 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×600″ expand=1]

Jeff and Hillary reached out for help from professionals, learned everything they could, and came to the only conclusion that existed: Their child was transgender. Ryland was born with female anatomy, but Ryland’s brain identifies as male.

No matter Ryland’s gender, Ryland’s parents wanted him *alive*.

[rebelmouse-image 19503879 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×390″ expand=1]

Studies show that 41% of transgender adults have attempted suicide. Take a minute to think about that number. It’s nine times higher than the average attempted suicide rate. Here’s what we need to know: “Suicide attempts were less common among transgender and gender-nonconforming people who said their family ties had remained strong after they came out.”

Makes complete sense, right? If you can live as your authentic self without discrimination or abuse because of who you are, you’re going to be a lot happier.

Ryland’s parents took that to heart. They began Ryland’s transition.

[rebelmouse-image 19503880 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×556″ expand=1]

They cut his hair, and he began dressing and living as a boy. They began using the correct gender pronouns: him and he.

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And Ryland was happy.

You know what? The people who mattered did the right thing. [rebelmouse-image 19503882 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×443″ expand=1]

Even if they’d lost all of their friends and family, I know the Whittingtons would have honored Ryland and supported him in his transition. But fortunately, they were surrounded by a lot of good people, and most accepted Ryland for who he was.

‘Cause here’s the thing…

[rebelmouse-image 19503883 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×550″ expand=1]

There are many tragedies that can happen to our children. This is not one.

Ryland is happy now that he gets to live as himself.

[rebelmouse-image 19503884 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×560″ expand=1]

As his parents said, “He’s still healthy, handsome, and extremely happy!”

No-strings attached parenting.

[rebelmouse-image 19503885 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×900″ expand=1]

And there you have it. Parenting done right. When we become parents, we don’t get to have our kids live out our ideal vision of who they’ll be. We have to love and support them for who they are.

Don’t stop yet!

Ryland’s parents made an amazing video from which I created this story. Please watch it. I promise it’s incredible and moving and it shares a very important lesson.

If you have a child who doesn’t conform to society’s gender norms, this is for you. If you are raising children who do conform to society’s gender norms, this is for you, too, because it’s up to you to raise accepting, loving children who will treat others with respect and kindness. And really, it’s for everyone because the world can use more love, compassion, and empathy.

[rebelmouse-image 19503886 dam=”1″ original_size=”1000×550″ expand=1]

Want to help educate others and also spread some feel-good love? You can share this!

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    Carrie is hardly alone in not wanting to have kids — in fact, a record number of women are choosing not to have kids today.

    In 2014, the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey found 47.6% of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children, which is the highest percentage on record. Despite the numbers, however, because we still live in a patriarchally-driven society, women regularly face the expectation that they should be mothers, and they often are judged if they decide not to be.

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    No one else has the right to put pressure on you to change your body and life in a drastic way. Thankfully, because of women like Carrie — and partners like Nic — who aren’t afraid to bring the subject out in the open, the expectations are slowly but surely changing.

    This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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    Mom rips into husbands who expect their wives to do housework in crazy viral Facebook post

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    It’s the 21st century, and as a civilization, we’ve come a long way. No, there are no flying cars (yet), but we all carry tiny supercomputers in our pockets, can own drones, and can argue with strangers from all around the world as long as they have Internet access.

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    Women in the comments section seemed to overwhelmingly agree with Hall’s post.

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    Even though he was born “Katherine Elizabeth,” Skylar lived like a regular little boy for most of his childhood.

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    Little Skylar. Photo from YouTube video.

    But when puberty hit, he started feeling intense pressure to be “normal” and fit in. So he tried to present as more traditionally “feminine.”

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    Skylar started feeling more comfortable immediately. And before he knew it, he was at his “dream school,” having the time of his life. And taking lots and lots of pictures of himself.

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    Access to medical care played a big part in Skylar becoming the person he is today, but that wasn’t all.

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    Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody has been covered dozens of different ways. But you’ve never seen it performed like this.

    As one of the most iconic songs in rock music, Bohemian Rhapsody is recognizable no matter how it’s done. As children, my brother and I used to belt out Galileos and Figaros in the backseat of our parents’ Volkswagon whenever the song came on (yes, just like in Wayne’s World). While other kids learned about Beelzebub in Sunday School, I learned about him from Queen’s perfect harmonies. If there were an anthem from my classic rock-filled childhood, it would be Bohemian Rhapsody.

    It’s one of those songs that is hard to cover well, though it hasn’t stopped people from trying. I’ve enjoyed some renditions, but nothing has caught my attention or delight more than this kapa haka version from New Zealand.

    A Māori choir in native garb sang the song live in the Māori language, and it is something to see.

    The group Hātea Kapa Haka performed the song on February 21 at New Zealand’s national kapa haka festival, Te Matatini, in Wellington. The festival brings 46 kapa haka (Māori performing arts) groups together to compete against one another.

    Newshub reports that Hātea Kapa Haka collaborated with musical artist William Waiirua to create a “Bohemian Rhapsody” cover in the Māori language, both as a tribute to Freddie Mercury and to celebrate the Oscar-nominated movie about his life.

    The group had previously created a music video for their cover, but seeing it performed live is something else. The voices, the harmony, the presentation—everything—is wonderful.

    This kind of cultural mashup reminds us how small our world has become.

    The contrast between Queen’s 1970s British rock and the Māori people’s traditional kapa haka could not be more striking. And yet, the melding of the two totally works. Music has the power to bring people together, and this performance is a great example of how it can bridge cultures with beautiful results.

    Watch the live performance here:

    And if you want more, check out the music video too:

    William Waiirua got more help from Hātea Kapa Haka than he bargained for when his car broke down… For more Queen, check out this playlist: https://umusicNZ…


    This article originally appeared on 03.01.19

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A sundial and a pocketwatch showing hours, minutes, and seconds on the clock face
Science

The ancient, brilliant reason we divide days into 60-minute hours and 60-second minutes

Annie Reneau