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Exhausted mom posted a letter begging her husband for help. And then it went viral.

An open letter by Celeste Yvonne shows overwhelmed mothers how to ask for support.

viral, parenting, motherhood, communication, relationships, blogger
Photo via Celeste Yvonne, used with permission.

Celeste Yvonne wrote a letter to her husband asking for help.

Taking care of a newborn baby is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. For the first four months (at least!), new parents have to dedicate every part of themselves to caring for this young life.

There's little time for self-care during this chaotic period, let alone a moment to be fully present with a partner.

A blogger who goes by the name Celeste Yvonne was the mother of a toddler and a newborn and wrote a revealing open letter to her husband asking for more help with their children.

It went viral in 2018 because it paints a very real picture of what it feels like to be a mother who feels stuck doing everything. And the message still resonated deeply today.

It's also important because it gives specific ways for parents to support each other.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know what a week's worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can't I?

I don't know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I'm human, and I'm running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone's lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it's hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it's just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I've scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I've got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids' naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it's assumed I'll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you're out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it's not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human. I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let's face it: you need me, too."

After the video went viral, Yvonne filmed another thanking everyone who read it and addressed the biggest question it raised: Did the letter work?

"Yes, absolutely. Communication works — most of the time," Yvonne said with a laugh. "I told [my husband] all the stuff I'm doing on the back end that he had no idea about. And then he told me all the concerns and the stress he's been having as a new father. Things that I had no idea about. It was so eye-opening, and I'm so grateful for it.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 3.20.18

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Stanford researchers find a single question could be the key to changing someone's mind

Curiosity goes a lot further than we might think.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity
Photo credit: Canva

How do you get someone to open their minds to another perspective?

The diversity of humanity means people won't always see eye to eye, and psychology tells us that people tend to double down when their views are challenged. When people are so deeply entrenched in their own perspectives they're refusing to entertain other viewpoints, what do we do?

Frequently, what we do falls into the "understandable but ineffective" category. When we disagree with someone because their opinion is based on falsehoods or inaccurate information, we may try to pound them with facts and statistics. Unfortunately, research shows that generally doesn't work. We might try to find different ways to explain our stance using logic and reasoning, but that rarely makes a dent, either. So often, we're left wondering how on Earth this person arrived at their perspective, especially if they reject facts and logic.

According to Stanford researchers, turning that wondering into an actual question might be the key.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Questions are more effective than facts when it comes to disagreements.Photo credit: Canva

The power of "Tell me more."

Two studies examined how expressing interest in someone's view and asking them to elaborate on why they hold their opinion affected both parties engaged in a debate. They found that asking questions like, "Could you tell me more about that?” and ‘‘Why do you think that?" made the other person "view their debate counterpart more positively, behave more open-mindedly, and form more favorable inferences about other proponents of the counterpart’s views." Additionally, adding an expression of interest, such as, ‘‘But I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?” not only made the counterpart more open to other viewpoints, but the questioner themselves developed more favorable attitudes toward the opposing viewpoint.

In other words, genuinely striving to understand another person's perspective by being curious and asking them to say more about how they came to their conclusions may help bridge seemingly insurmountable divides.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Asking people to elaborate leads to more open-mindedness.Photo credit: Canva

Stanford isn't alone in these findings. A series of studies at the University of Haifa also found that high-quality listening helped lower people's prejudices, and that when people perceive a listener to be responsive, they tend to be more open-minded. Additionally, the perception that their attitude is the correct and valid one is reduced.

Why curiosity works

In some sense, these results may seem counterintuitive. We may assume that asking someone to elaborate on what they believe and why they believe it might just further entrench them in their views and opinions. But that's not what the research shows.

Dartmouth cognitive scientist Thalia Wheatley studies the role of curiosity in relationships and has found that being curious can help create consensus where there wasn't any before.

“[Curiosity] really creates common ground across brains, just by virtue of having the intellectual humility to say, ‘OK, I thought it was like this, but what do you think?’ And being willing to change your mind,” she said, according to the John Templeton Foundation.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Curiosity can help people get closer to consensus. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, there may be certain opinions and perspectives that are too abhorrent or inhumane to entertain with curious questions, so it's not like "tell me more" is always the solution to an intractable divide. But even those with whom we vehemently disagree or those whose views we find offensive may respond to curiosity with more open-mindedness and willingness to change their view than if we simply argue with them. And isn't that the whole point?

Sometimes what's effective doesn't always line up with our emotional reactions to a disagreement, so engaging with curiosity might take some practice. It may also require us to rethink what formats for public discourse are the most impactful. Is ranting in a TikTok video or a tweet conducive to this shift in how we engage others? Is one-on-one or small group, in-person discussion a better forum for curious engagement? These are important things to consider if our goal is not to merely state our case and make our voice heard but to actually help open people's minds and remain open-minded in our own lives as well.

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Leo Tolstoy's two-sentence diary entry from 1851 perfectly sums up young, impulsive love

Some experiences are totally relatable throughout time.

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Leo Tolstoy as a young man in 1848 (left), Tolstoy as an old man on a horse (right)

Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace and Anna Karenina are widely regarded as literary masterpieces, but Tolstoy wrote a lot more than just epic novels in his lifetime. The prolific author produced novellas, short stories, plays, folk tales, parables, and multiple books' worth of philosophical essays. He also kept a diary, which includes one of the shortest and most relatable stories of all time.

On January 25, 1851, the 23-year-old Tolstoy, who had not yet published any of his great works, wrote a two-sentence entry:

"I've fallen in love or imagine that I have; went to a party and lost my head. Bought a horse which I don't need at all."

It's a tale as old as time. You're young, you show up at an event, and love (or something like it) smacks you upside the head out of nowhere. As a result, you momentarily lose your mind and do something totally illogical and impulsive. So many people have been there, and it's somehow comforting to see someone so well known experience it so long ago.

At the same time, there's the hilarity of not quite knowing whether he's referring to falling in love with a woman or with a horse, because it really could be either. We know he loved horses. But did he meet a woman who made him lose his mind so much that he impulsively bought a horse? Or was he introduced to a horse he fell in love with at first sight?

There's also a delightful irony in a writer known for the length of his largest work (War and Peace is over 1,000 pages) telling such a concise story. Just two sentences, and people are like, "Yep, totally relatable."

Other famous brief diary entries throughout history

Aaron Burr, the famous slayer of Alexander Hamilton, once wrote in his private journal about blowing a wad of money:

"London, February 1, 1812. Have spent 14 shillings and 6 pence magnificently; i.e., like an ass."

That was not a lone entry, but rather the first line of one, and still quite notable on its own.

People tend to venerate famous historical figures to the point of forgetting they were still just human beings, as susceptible to the human condition as the rest of us. But this diary entry from Charles Darwin, the "father of evolution," having a bad day is a good reminder:

"But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything."

And President Theodore Roosevelt famously wrote one of the most tragically brief diary entries on February 14, 1884, after his wife and mother both died within hours of one another. He wrote a large "X" at the top of the page, followed by the words, "The light has gone out of my life."

teddy roosevelt, u.s. president, diary entry, theodore roosevelt, history, famous diary entries Theodore Roosevelt's diary entry after his wife and mother died within hours of each other. upload.wikimedia.org

And perhaps the shortest famous diary entry of them all came from King Louis XVI of France on July 14, 1789. That was the day the Bastille was stormed, kicking off the French Revolution, and the king simply wrote, "Rien," which translates to "Nothing." The entry has often been pointed out as a funny bit of irony, or even as proof of how out of touch the king was with his subjects, but in reality, it was simply an indication that he hadn't gone hunting that day. Still pretty wild in hindsight, though.

Is diary keeping a lost art?

It used to be common for people to keep written diaries or journals, but that habit has largely fallen by the wayside in favor of digital archives and social media. We can now look back through our phones' camera rolls to recall what we did, and when and where we did it. But is that the same thing? Are we missing the written expression of our thoughts and feelings in real time?

Perhaps. A 2006 study of 107 young adults found that spending 15 minutes journaling twice in one week appeared to improve mental health. Participants were split into three groups: one asked to journal about a stressful event, one asked to draw, and a control group. Those who journaled saw a significant reduction in symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and hostility, especially if they were already distressed. Most of the participants had seldom journaled before.

Many other studies have confirmed the mental and emotional benefits of keeping a journal. Perhaps it's time for the ancient habit to make a comeback?

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Science

Her groundbreaking theory on the origin of life was rejected 15 times. Then biology proved her right.

Lynn Margulis had the audacity to challenge Darwin. And we're lucky she did.

lynn margulis, lynn margulis symbiosis, biology, scientific breakthroughs, darwin, darwinism, women in science
Facts That Will Blow Your Mind/Facebook

A photo of Lynn Margulis.

Throughout her prolific and distinguished career, biologist Lynn Margulis made several groundbreaking contributions to science that we take for granted as common knowledge today. For example, she championed James E. Lovelock’s “Gaia concept,” which posited that the Earth self-regulates to maintain conditions for life.

But by far, her most notable theory was symbiogenesis. While it was first written off as “strange” and “aesthetically pleasing” but “not compelling,” it would ultimately prevail, and completely rewrite how we viewed the origin of life itself.

In the late 1960s, Margulis wrote a paper titled "On the Origin of Mitosing Cells," that was quite avant-garde. In it, she proposed a theory: that life evolved through organisms merging together to become inseparable.

In essence, cooperation is the driver of life, not competition and domination. This directly went against Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” principle that was considered gospel in scientific circles. Margulis’ paper was rejected by fifteen journals before getting accepted into the Journal of Theoretical Biology.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Time would be on Margulis’ side, however. By the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, research proved that the two major building blocks of plants and animals, chloroplasts and mitochondria were at one time independent bacteria. This solidified the fact that on a biological level, connection trumps autonomy for longevity. And now that fact is written in textbooks, with no real story of the adversity it overcame to get there.

While it is customary for most new scientific theories to be met with criticism, especially those that completely shift the current narrative, many have noted that sexism played a key part in Margulis’ initial lack of acceptance. On more than one occasion, she herself had hinted that women were seen as mothers and wives first, and scientists second. She recalled that while married to fellow scientist Carl Sagan that “Carl would finish his sentence, unperturbed” while she was expected to “handle all the duties of a 1950s housewife, from washing dishes to paying the household bills.”

And yet, Margulis would have other ideas that were controversial that had nothing to do with her gender. Most famously, she did not believe that AIDS was caused by HIV, and instead believed it was cause by a syphilis-causing type of bacteria, despite there already being decades of research proving otherwise. That view was seen as an endorsement of AIDS denialism, which undermined prevention and treatment effort. Then later in life, Margulis became a vocal proponent of 9/11 conspiracy theories suggesting government involvement the in Twin Towers attacks.

And yet, perhaps this is one of those “you gotta take the good with the bad” situations. Margulis’ inherent contrarian nature gave us both these unfounded, even harmful stances, in addition to entirely new paradigms that altered our understanding of life itself.

And if nothing else, it illuminated the need for science to include multiple points of view in order to unlock the truth. It seems life is, after all, about coming together.

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Guy kicks a single rock for 200 days to see if it'll become a perfect sphere. Here's how it went.

This guys takes the "go kick rocks" phrase very, very seriously.

shirtzenpantz, thrift store, portland, rocks, science, fun science, science experiment, wholesome, positive news
via @shirtzenpantz/Instagram

Day 5 of Christosphere's journey vs Day 200

When Portland-based Owen Gail isn’t selling thrifted clothing at his Shirtzenpantz store, he’s outside kicking rocks. Well, one rock in particular—a granodiorite named “Christosphere.”

Christosphere didn’t start off living up to his name. In fact, 200 days ago, he was 800 grams heavier, and much more angular. Attempting to bring a little bit of attention to his newly secured, yet fairly tucked away new brick-and-mortar, Gail recorded himself kicking Christosphere every day to see if that would make him perfectly round.

To say that Christopshere has been on a journey would be an understatement. He’s been kicked a whopping 210 collective miles across nine states, and was even thrown into the Detroit Lake on day 96. Gail apparently had a connection with the Detroit Lake Dam, which uses a special filter to collect rocks, so Christopshere was eventually recovered.

By day 200, nearly anyone would say that Christopshere, now with no edges to speak of, is indeed a sphere simply by looking at him. But to really put it to the test, Gail gathered 15 of Oregon’s “finest sphere experts” to discuss, Socratic-seminar style, as to whether or not that was an accurate assessment. Though two videos of the discussions have been posted so far, Christosphere’s fate remains hanging in the balance.

Regardless, Christopshere has proven to be a worthy mascot for Shirtzenpantz, due to his Internet fame. According to local news outlet Willamette Week, tourists come specifically seeking him out, and poems about him are offered for a discount. Business has been so good, thanks in part to Christopshere, that Gail and his twin brother were able to open up another location with a different gimmick: the “world’s largest” pair of pants.

Gail is now uniquely tasked with employing another person to kick an angular, volleyball-sized new “twin” to Christosphere in an attempt to get it to spherical proportions as well.

But beyond being a thoroughly weird and entertaining science experiment, (and an extremely clever marketing tactic), Christopshere is providing a bit of inspiration, especially back in May 2025 when Gail’s grandmother (and Shirtzenpantz regular), Juanita likened Christopshere’s journey to something incredibly human.

“This rock is in transition, just like many of you might be. Or like me, I'm transitioning to being old,” she said in the clip, holding Christopshere in her hands. “But here’s the thing: Before you become something different, you have a time when you are confused and maybe you don't know what day it is or what you want to do when you graduate from college and everyone is on your case.

“Take that time when you're being kicked around and decide that is part of the process,” she wisely concludes.

That’s right. Come for the rock kicking, stay for the heartwarming elderly wisdom. You’ll be in good company.

“Never knew when i started following the rock-kicking page that i’d be in my room sobbing at 1am some random wednesday night listening to grammy doling out actual wisdom about life 😭”

“I needed that. I can be a Katiesphere.”

“All right so here's my journey. I watched whatever video was day five of you kicking this rock around. That was fed to me by the algorithm. I was like all right what else does he got? So I went to your most recent which is this video that I'm commenting on. You just took me on one hell of a journey sir. I did not expect to get schooled. Give that old lady a hug for me.”

“What began as a stupid rock being kicked has become something I did not anticipate. I was not ready for such a deep and profound moment.”

You honestly never know what delightful, lucky, and insightful surprises are in store simply by following your whimsy. Perfect circle or not, Christopshere is offering a perfect lesson.

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Americans share the stereotypical foods non-Americans think they eat in gobs, but never really do

"They bring up deep fried butter when nobody I know has EVER ate it."

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Two women eat cheeseburgers from a plate.

American food is filled with staples that are part of a thoroughly American diet. A 2025 YouGov survey on the most popular American dishes reported the following as the top five beloved foods in the U.S.: French fries; mashed potatoes; hamburgers; steak and baked potatoes; and cheeseburgers.

While most of these are indeed "stereotypical" American foods, non-Americans may often assume a lot about what Americans really eat. Grilled cheese? You bet. But fried butter? Think again. Kind of like how Americans think Chicken Parm is Italian.

In an enlightening conversation on Reddit, Americans were quick to correct non-Americans about the stereotypical foods they assume Americans adore. Here's what they had to say:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When people talk about food in the US (especially when calling it unhealthy) they bring up deep fried butter when nobody I know has EVER ate it. Even my dad, who, has traveled around a lot and eaten tons of stuff, has never had a bite." - velmiraZ

"Fruitcake enters the chat. And sloooooooowly digests, since who knows how long it's been sitting around…" - inter-realm

"Mayonnaise is eaten, even in what I'd consider large amounts here (potato salad, macaroni salad etc.), but I never understood why we got the stereotype for it. Every time I've been to Europe I've had to freaking scrape globs of mayo off of things I've ordered, and I like mayo. And absolutely nothing compares to the amount of mayo used in East Slavic countries. I've enjoyed those foods don't get me wrong, but every time I see 'Americans and their mayonnaise' I'm like ????" - currymuttonpizza

"I am from the states and in the 50's gelatin-based molded salads was a thing. My grandma in law makes Jello salads for every occasion. The worst was Jello with frozen peas, mayo, maraschino cherries, carrots and cheese. The ones that are just Jello and fruit are typically edible. I seriously never knew this was an actual thing until I married into a midwestern family." - flyislandbird, Difficult_Walk_6657

@marcosfunhouse

He has RISEN #vintage #recipe #easter #jello #jello4jesus

"Every time I see one of those pics of an 'American Food Section' from a European grocery store, they always have marshmallow fluff. I don't think I've ever used marshmallow fluff other than maybe making Rice Krispie Treats once or twice." - kywildcat44

"Spray cheese. I don't think I've ever eaten it, and can't remember ever seeing it in anyone's home. Someone is buying it, because it's available in stores, but it's not a commonly consumed food for most people." - kinetic_cheese

"In the US, it's probably Twinkies. I know people use the word Twinkies to cover a bunch of snack cakes, but I don't actually know anyone who's eaten a Twinkie in the last year." - Old_Studio_6079

"Mine is more City specific but Chicago and Deep Dish Pizza. It's really not that popular of a choice for most people. It's good once in a long while but 98% of the time myself and most others prefer a thin tavern style pizza. Deep Dish is really only popular with tourists." - wellohwellok

"Any of the novelty deep fried fair food. Oreos, twinkies, etc. You really only see them at fairs, and people have maybe one. I was with some friends and we split a fried Oreo between 3 people because we wanted to see what it tasted like, but one bite was enough." - DoMBe87

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"From the US: Sh*t on a Shingle, aka chipped beef on toast. It's a depression era struggle meal, and while I'm sure some people here do eat it, I never have and I've never met anyone who has, and I grew up in a poor part of the US." - Visible_Amphibian570

"Another American but coming from Iowa, corn. Sweet corn is great, but we don't really eat it constantly. Usually my family had it as a 'summer's almost over' treat. Most corn is dent corn which is used for flour, animal feed, and other corn products but directly, you can't just waltz into a field and eat it from the cob. Unless its sweet corn, which is more a small scale treat than industrial agriculture." - -Im_In_Your_Walls-

"It's not a USA think but a Colorado thing: Rocky Mountain Oysters. You often find them on the appetizer menu of restaurants that serve game meats like elk and bison. But we Coloradans mostly don't eat them, we just order them for out-of-state visitors and tell them they're a Colorado delicacy." - HudsonBunny

"Hamburgers and hotdogs. For us anyway, it's more an occasional cookout food, attending a live ball game food, or convenience on a road trip or rest stop, but not something we eat daily or even weekly." - BustThaScientifical

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