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Woman shares how the 'bird test' always determines if her relationships will last

"It never fails."

dating, dating red flags, dating apps, bird test, john gottman, bids for connection
Canva, @alyssacardib/TikTok

Alyssa Caribardi says the 'bird test' can be uses for romantic and platonic relationships

Even with all the fancy apps and preference based algorithms, dating isn’t always easy. It’s a challenge to find true and lasting compatibility, and to know whether a person truly has your best interests at heart, or is simply on their best behavior.

But, people find their ways to navigate romance, nonetheless. Be it through a series of simple questions or hard-and-fast red flags, there are some modern-day strategies that can be used to filter out true potential partners.

The “Bird Test” is one of those strategies.


Though TikTokker Alyssa Caribardi doesn’t claim to have created the bird test, it’s something she “lives and dies by,” and she’s happy to give folks the rundown on what it is.

According to Caribardi, the bird test goes a little something like this: if you're out and about with someone, and notice a bird, then point it out with enthusiasm, notice how the other person responds. If they mirror your “genuine curiosity” for this seemingly insignificant thing, “that’s a really good sign” the relationship will last a long time.

'"It never fails," Caribardi claims, adding that while this is primarily used for screening romantic relationships, it can be used for platonic ones as well, sharing that a woman who matched her excitement for a woodpecker outside a Starbucks became a close friend.

Watch below. Note that this video contains some curse words.

@alyssacardib

Bird test

♬ original sound - Lyss Lyss

As many viewers were quick to note, the bird test echoes what psychologist and renowned relationship expert John Gottman calls “bids for connection.”

Gottman says that bids for connections can be verbal or non verbal, and take on myriad tones, but all share the common goal of expressing “connect with me please!” to a partner. Everything from a playful wink to asking how a work meeting went would fall under this category.

Gottman also explains that repeated rejection of bids for connection spell disaster for relationships.

“When our partner denies our bids, we internalize the experience. Our brains subconsciously keep track of how many bids are accepted or rejected by our partners. When our partner constantly turns away or against our bids, we begin to feel frustrated. We are more inclined to criticize our partners, which pushes them to be defensive and may result in an argument,” he says, even going so far as to say that couples more often break up because of denied bids for connections than big fights or infidelity.

So, call it a bird test or a bid, the messaging remains the same, regardless of semantics. Relationships thrive when partners pay attention to each other’s interests, and turn towards those interests with the intention to create an emotional bond. Perhaps this is even more important than naturally shared passions.

In other words: if someone isn’t able to light up at seeing a woodpecker outside a Starbucks in the same way you do, maybe they’re not meant for you.

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5 ways hydrogen water can transform your wellness routine

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If you're on a quest for wellness, you've likely heard about the latest buzzword in hydration: hydrogen water. It's not just a trend among health enthusiasts; this cutting-edge concept is gaining traction for its remarkable health benefits.

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Pop Culture

UPS driver shares his weekly paycheck, and now everyone wants to apply

People are shocked to find out how much delivery drivers make.

@skylerleestutzman/TikTok

People were shocked to find out how much Skyler Stutzman earned as a UPS driver

People are seriously considering switching careers after finding out how much can be made as a UPS delivery driver.

Back in October, Skyler Stutzman, an Oregon-based UPS delivery driver went viral after sharing his weekly pay stub on TikTok.

In the clip, Stutzman showed that for 42 hours of work, and at a pay rate of $44.26 per hour, he earned $2,004 before taxes, and ultimately took home $1,300 after deductions.

This both shocked the nearly 12 million viewers who saw the video…not to mention it stirred their jealousy a bit.

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Do you ever feel like you could be doing more when it comes to making a positive impact on your community? The messaging around giving back is louder than ever this time of year, and for good reason; It is the season of giving, after all.

If you’ve ever wondered who is responsible for bringing many of the giving-back initiatives to life, it’s probably not who you’d expect. The masterminds behind these types of campaigns are project managers.

Using their talents and skills, often proven by earning certifications from the Project Management Institute (PMI), project managers are driving real change and increasing the success rate on projects that truly improve our world.

To celebrate the work that project managers are doing behind the scenes to make a difference, we spoke with two people doing more than their part to make an impact.

In his current role as a Project Management Professional (PMP)-certified project manager and environmental engineer for the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Joshua Williard oversees the cleanup of some of America’s most contaminated and hazardous waste sites.

Courtesy of Joshua Williard

“Recently, I was part of a four-person diving team sent to collect contaminated sediment samples from the bottom of a river in Southeastern Virginia. We wanted to ensure a containment wall was successfully blocking the release of waste into an adjacent river,” Williard says.

Through his work, Josh drives restoration efforts to completion so contaminated land can again be used beneficially, and so future generations will not be at risk of exposure to harmful chemicals.

“I’ve been inspired by the natural world from a young age and always loved being outside. As I gained an understanding about Earth's trajectory, I realized that I wanted to be part of trying to save it and keep it for future generations.

“I learned the importance of using different management styles to address various project challenges. I saw the value in building meaningful relationships with key community members. I came to see that effective project management can make a real difference in getting things done and having on-the-ground impact,” Williard says.

In addition, Monica Chan’s career in project management has enabled her to work at the forefront of conservation efforts with the World Wildlife Fund (WWF-US). She most recently has been managing a climate change project, working with a diverse team including scientists, policy experts, data analysts, biologists, communicators, and more. The goal is to leverage grants to protect and restore mangroves, forests, and ecosystems, and drive demand in seaweed farming – all to harness nature's power to address the climate crisis.

Courtesy of Monica Chan

“As the project management lead for WWF-US, I am collaborating across the organization to build a project management framework that adapts to our diverse projects. Given that WWF's overarching objectives center on conserving nature and addressing imminent threats to the diversity of life on Earth, the stakes are exceptionally high in how we approach projects,” says Chan.

“Throughout my journey, I've discovered a deep passion for project management's ability to unite people for shared goals, contributing meaningfully to environmental conservation,” she says.

With skills learned from on-the-job experience and resources from PMI, project managers are the central point of connection for social impact campaigns, driving them forward and solving problems along the way. They are integral to bringing these projects to life, and they find support from their peers in PMI’s community.

PMI has a global network of more than 300 chapters and serves as a community for project managers – at every stage of their career. Members can share knowledge, celebrate impact, and learn together through resources, events, and other programs such as PMI’s Hours for Impact program, which encourages PMI members to volunteer their time to projects directly supporting the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

“By tapping into PMI's extensive network and resources, I've expanded my project management knowledge and skills, gaining insights from seasoned professionals in diverse industries, including environmental management. Exposure to different perspectives has kept me informed about industry trends, best practices, and allowed me to tailor my approach to the unique challenges of the non-profit sector,” Chan says.

“Obtaining my PMP certification has been a game-changer, propelling not only my career growth, but also reshaping my approach to daily projects, both personally and professionally,” Chan says. Research from PMI shows that a career in project management means being part of an industry on the rise, as the global economy will need 25 million new project professionals by 2030 and the median salary for project practitioners in the U.S. is $120K.

PMI’s mission is to help professionals build project management skills through online courses, networking, and other learning opportunities, help them prove their proficiency in project management through certifications, and champion the work that project professionals, like Joshua and Monica, do around the world.

For those interested in pursuing a career in project management to help make a difference, PMI’s Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) certification could be the starting point to help get your foot in the door.

Courtesy of the Carbondale Public Library

Library book checked out in 1904 is finally returned

Just about everyone has had the misfortune of forgetting to return a library book. Some turn it in and pay whatever fine that's been assessed while others never find the book and decide to pay for the replacement. But there's a small group of people that don't return the missing book or pay the library to replace it. It's simply checked out forever for reasons no one knows.

Horace Short fell into the latter category. Back in 1904, Mr. Short checked out "The Cruise of the Esmeralda" by Harry Collingwood, a novel about adventures at sea, from the Carbondale Public Library. For some reason, Short never returned the book and librarians assumed it had been discarded according to Jessica Pratt, Adult Services Librarian at Carbondale Public Library.

Much to the delight and surprise of the librarians, the book was recently returned, 120 years late. Hawley Public Library found the antique book at their book sale and informed the Carbondale library of their discovery.

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US mom living in Sweden scolded for swaddling baby

Americans collectively gasp reading that swaddling is frowned upon in Sweden. In the United States one of the first things the hospital does after a baby is born is to swaddle the newborn nice and snug in a receiving blanket, completing the look with a tiny hat. New moms practice swaddling on unsuspecting cats or teddy bears in preparation for the baby's arrival.

Imagine the surprise of an American mom that gave birth in Sweden being told to never swaddle her baby again. Surely the midwife must've been mistaken, assuming something else was going on. Miranda Hudgens recently posted a reenactment of her experience giving birth at a Swedish hospital to social media where it went viral.

In the video, Hudgens is holding her swaddled baby when the midwife comes in and asks what she's doing, while looking disgusted. The mom explains she's swaddling the baby. Shortly after the midwife leaves, Hudgens' husband tells her that the midwife said "not to do that to the baby anymore."

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Joy

People are sharing good things happening in America that are flying under the radar

Don't let negative headlines overshadow the positive things happening all around us.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

We can all use some good news, and thankfully, there's plenty of it.

When you watch or read the news, it can be easy to get down on the world. It's not your imagination that the news has a negativity bias. One study showed that headlines denoting anger, fear, disgust and sadness steadily increased from 2000 to 2019, making it even harder to stay informed without feeling a sense of despair or hopelessness.

But that doesn't meant that everything is bad. The reality is that there are wonderful things happening all around us that fly under the radar. Just because good news isn't flooding our social media feeds doesn't mean it isn't there—we just might have to dig through the muck and mire of the media to find it.

Or, as one person discovered, ask people to share in a Reddit thread.

When Reddit user u/NorthPengyyy asked the Ask Reddit board, "What is a good thing happening in the US right now that people aren’t aware of?" people delivered.

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Why North American can't build nice apartments.

One of the most beautiful features of old European neighborhoods are the rows of quaint, walk-up apartments that are the backbone of walkable neighborhoods. They help create a community where people can exit their front door and walk to a local café or market without getting in their car.

Unfortunately, these neighborhoods are hard to find in the United States, where these types of apartment buildings are exceedingly rare. Why is that? In the video below, About Here’s founder, Uytae Lee, explains why regulations in North America have made these quaint walk-up apartments, known by architects as point access blocks, nearly impossible to build.

Uytae Lee is an urban planner and videographer passionate about sharing stories about our cities.

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@nativeamerica_tiktok/TikTok

Creating magic for kids is the best.

There’s nothing quite like creating Christmas magic for kids. Seeing them light up at the mention of Santa, squeal with glee at Elf on a Shelf antics, look with pure awe and wonder at all the sights and sounds of the season…it all helps rekindle that inner child spark that tends to fade as we grow older. It’s one of the many things that makes being a parent so rewarding.

In an effort to create a little extra holiday whimsy for his daughter, a father named Chinook used his natural storytelling skills to make a unique tradition—all involving a pinecone and the magic of the moon.

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