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Want to be better in conversations? Avoid these 10 phrases that are 'instantly unlikeable'

Please don't be a person that "tells it like it is."

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As long as there are people in the world, we will need to know how to communicate effectively.

Conversation etiquette varies between generations, cultures and platforms. Younger age groups might take words once thought to be insulting and use them in an opposite way as a form of reclamation. In some countries, talking about politics or religion is considered rude, while in others it’s completely acceptable. And certainly, there are quite a few things muttered online that (hopefully) someone would never actually say out loud. (Though it might be a good practice to not type it, either.)

And yet, despite all the nuance, there are a few key approaches that create a widely agreed upon golden standard, such as active listening, having a clear purpose in what’s being said and, ultimately, showing respect for who is being spoken to. These simple guidelines can help a person be more engaging and charismatic, which can obviously be useful traits whether you’re looking to change the world or just connect with new people.

Likewise, there are fairly universal things that can be said in a conversation that instantly come across as unlikeable. Redditor u/theevilempire asked folks to list certain words or phrases that elicited an overall negative reaction when heard, and commenters didn’t hold back.

Some, if not many, of these commonly spoken expressions aren’t even inherently repelling, but are made that way simply because the person saying it is being hypocritical or insensitive. Others are just plain ol’ overused.

Without further ado, here are 10 phrases that make a person instantly unlikeable in a conversation:


1.“I tell it like it is”

via GIPHY

This was the top answer, with the general agreement being that a person who uses this phrase is not only being unnecessarily cruel under the guise of honesty, but they're also usually a person who can't take criticism from anybody else.

“We all need to hear hard truths sometimes. That being said, usually people who are ‘blunt’ and ‘tell it like it is’ are exactly the same ones who can dish it out but can't take it,” midget_rancher79 wrote.

Objective_Stick_2114 added: “Exactly. I think a person can be direct, to the point, and still be likeable. You don't have to be hurtful or brutal to be considered direct. It's the unsolicited judgemental comments that are most likely unnecessary, over-indulgent, and just mean. I find the most direct people actually do use a lot of discretion when speaking to others, and listen more than they speak.”

2. Any "I'm not [insert something here], but…" statements

via GIPHY

People had a ton of examples for this. “I’m not racist, but…”; “No offense, but…”; “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”;”Not to get political, but…” These statements are usually followed by things that would most likely be highly offensive/racist/politically leaning, etc, and therefore make the person saying it comes across like they wanted to insult someone without facing potential consequences.

3. Using mental disorders to describe a normal idiosyncrasy

via GIPHY

“I’m bipolar and I hate when people use it as a badge of quirkiness. Nobody brags about climbing the walls at 3 AM, nobody should aspire to burning their life down, nobody can throw away every relationship/career/education and think it’s something to be proud of.” – levieleven

“Any time a legitimate diagnostic term becomes slang for something it cheapens the effectiveness and value of the word. Not to mention the dismissive effect it has upon those who actually deal with the condition. I’m so sorry that you and others are disrespected this way so often. You deserve validation and respect for taking care of yourself, not to have your issues trivialized." – Drkphnx02

4. "I hate drama."

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“I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day.” – Spodson

5. "As an empath…”

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“I think self-proclaimed ‘empaths’ are either overestimating their own empathy or underestimating everyone else’s. And, only a person who lacks the ability to emotionally regulate or has narcissistic tendencies would try to make other people’s feelings all about them.” – HeyItsNotMeIPromise

6. Referring to exes as “narcissists”

via GIPHY

“I work in the behavioral health field and this one drives me crazy…Just because you both wanted different things in life doesn't make him selfish enough to be labeled with an actual personality disorder, oh my god. Just say you weren't compatible and move on with your life.No offense to those who actually did genuinely date a narcissist." – NightDreamer73

7. Using “corporate speak”

via GIPHY

Engagement, initiative, synergy, circling back…you get it. People hate it.

8. Describing oneself as an “alpha male”

via GIPHY

"Who in their right mind would describe himself as an alpha male and be serious about it? And how do you not die laughing at them?" – onesmilematters

9. Putting others down to make yourself look better

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“If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person” – AnastasiaFrid

10. "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"

via GIPHY

It's another way of saying "If you can't tolerate my downright abusive behavior, you don't deserve my complete indifference towards you." – quickshot125

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A woman accidentally said, 'Love you!' to an important client. His response was perfect.

He even followed up with a heartwarming e-mail.

Photo credit: Canva

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

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Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s employee. And here's my jaw hitting the ground.

The federal minimum wage is still less than this.

via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

How can anyone get by on this?

I've written extensively about minimum wage, supported by fact-checkers, economists, and scholarly studies. All of them support raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting them off public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it. Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of an hourly wage? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it could be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken systemOne year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

The YouTube channel Just Frugal Me discussed the viral paycheck and noted there's absolutely nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. More than 2 million people in the U.S. alone work for the fast food giant. The worker's paycheck shows they put in 72 hours over the pay period, making $8.75 per hour. Before taxes, that's $631 for the week. Just Frugal Me's breakdown is even more eye-opening, breaking down this person's pay after taxes and weighing across average rent and utility costs. Spoiler Alert: the total costs for basic necessities far outweigh what this person is making even while working 12 hours per day. But they do make too much to qualify for Medicaid, meaning they will have to go out and buy their own health insurance.

mcdonald's, minimum wage, restaurants, fast food, burgers, big macA photo of a McDonald's in Hartford, CT. via Mike Mozart/Flickr

Even in states like California, where the state's $20 minimum wage ensures that people earn nearly three times as much as the federal minimum wage, which remains as low as when this paycheck first made the rounds nearly 10 years ago.

Still, even for a worker that maxed out at 40 hours per week and took zero vacation or sick time, that's only a little over $41,000 per year. That's barely half the median wage in the state of $78,000 and far below a sustainable living wage in cities like Los Angeles.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The U.S. federal minimum wage is just $7.25 and hasn't been raised since 2009. In April 2025, the Raise the Wage Act of 2025 was introduced in the House of Representatives and U.S. Senate. The bill would increase the federal minimum wage to $17 an hour by 2030 and eliminate the subminimum wage for tipped workers and those with disabilities. But supporters should be cautious that it's unlikely to pass the Republican-controlled Congress.

If the Wage Act of 2025 were to pass, over $22 million workers would get a raise, which is 15% of the U.S. workforce. It would raise $70 billion for low-wage Americans, an increase of $3,200 per worker.

“No person working full-time in America should be living in poverty," Virginia Congressman Bobby Scott said in a statement. "The Raise the Wage Act will increase the pay and standard of living for nearly 22 million workers across this country. Raising the minimum wage is good for workers, good for business, and good for the economy. When we put money in the pockets of American workers, they will spend that money in their communities,”

This story originally appeared ten years ago. It has been updated to reflect new information.

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Art

In 125 years, millions of people have looked at this painting. No one really saw it until recently.

Van Gogh saw something it took scientists another 100 years to see.

Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Van Gogh's Starry Night, 1889.

Vincent van Gogh never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist (even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). Van Gogh died in 1890 at the age of 37 in Auvers-sur-Oise, France after shooting himself in the chest with a revolver. It was a tragic end to a turbulent life marked by mental instability and severe self-doubt.

According to the Van Gogh Museum, in a letter to his brother Theo in 1890, just a couple of weeks before his death, Van Gogh wrote, "...my life, is attacked at the very root, my step also is faltering." The man was struggling and exhausted. The high standards he had set for himself and his art were taking a toll. He was unsure about his future and, up to this point, had not received much recognition for his work and thought himself a failure "as a man and as an artist."

His most well-known work, Starry Night, was famously painted while Van Gogh was staying in an asylum in France 1889 after he mutilated his ear during a psychotic episode. According to the Van Gogh Museum, though, this may not be the full story. While it is widely agreed that Van Gogh did in fact cut off his own ear, the museum notes that it was because of a fight between Van Gogh and Paul Gaugin, the artist he had been working for in Aries, that led to the violent explosion that highlighted his deteriorating mental state.

Vincent Van Gogh, artist, 19th century, famous artist, Starry NightVincent Van Gogh's Self-Portrait, 1889Image via Canva.

As one of the best known and most studied artists of the 19th century, Van Gogh's madness and how it influenced his work is not new information. But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years—revealed in the 2010s thanks to the Hubble Space Telescope.

A video at the bottom of the page will explain everything, but before we get there, let's do some backstory:

We known Van Gogh was an artist—and a genius artist at that—but, it turns out, he was also scientist. Kind of.

Whether intentionally or not, fresh eyes have found that Van Gogh's art—aside from being breathtaking—also captures one of science and nature's most elusive concepts: Turbulence.

The concept of turbulence is hard to understand with math, but it turns out art makes it fairly easy to comprehend through depiction. So, what is turbulence?

According to Britannica, turbulence, or turbulent flow, is a concept of fluid dynamics in which a type of fluid flow (liquid or gas like air or water or air) undergoes an irregular fluctuation or energy cascade. In other words, the air or water swirls and eddies as it moves: big eddies make smaller eddies, and those make even smaller ones, and so on. Common examples of turbulent flow include blood flow in arteries, lava flow, atmosphere and ocean currents, and the flow in boat wakes or surrounding the tips of aircraft wings.

It looks like this:

figures, flow, turbulence, turbulent flow, science, movementTurbulent flow illustrated and animated.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The thing is, scientists only started figuring this out pretty recently.

turbulence, turbulent flow, science, nature, researchAnimation of art referencing science.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

And yet, there was Mr. Vincent van Gogh, 100 years earlier in his asylum with a mutilated ear and able to accurately capture this turbulent flow in what would become his most famous work, Starry Night.

Starry Night, Van Gogh, turbulence, art, art captures scienceAnimated Starry NightAll Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The folks who noticed Van Gogh's ability to capture turbulence checked to see whether other artists did the same. Most of the Impressionists achieved "luminance" with their art—a striking and lifelike depiction of light's effect on color. While impressive, they did not capture or depict turbulence the way Van Gogh did.

The Scream, Edvard Munch, art, popular art, history, painting An animated depiction of The Scream.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

Not even Edvard Munch's The Scream, with it's swirling color and movement, could recreate what Van Gogh had accomplished.

Even in his darkest time, Van Gogh was able to capture—with eerie accuracy—one of nature's most complex and confusing concepts 100 years before scientists had the technology to do so.

Who would have thought that the beauty Van Gogh captured was foreshadowing what scientists would observe in the real, natural world in a century's time? To learn even more, watch the TED-Ed video below:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

This article originally appeared twelve years ago. It has been updated.

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Man visits his vacant home and discovers squatters, so he moves in with them

Are they roomies now?

Photo credit: Canva

Man moves in with squatters who won't leave his new home.

Picture it: you buy a new home knowing it's a bit of a fixer upper, but it's yours. You're expecting to move in slowly while you work on the house, but when you make your way to your new-to-you home, someone is already living there. Or maybe you're selling a home that's been sitting vacant and when the realtor gets there to show the property, someone has moved in. What do you do?

The logical answer would be to call the police because, clearly, there are intruders in your home who have made it their own. You have all the paperwork showing you own the property so it should be a no brainer. Wrong. Marco Velazquez had this very situation happen when trying to sell a vacant home that he owns. When he reached out to the local authorities, he was informed that the people who moved into his home unlawfully cannot be forced out.

squatters; squatters rights; man moves in with squatters; illinois squatter lawsBoarded up windows. Photo by Ricky Singh on Unsplash

Under the current law in Illinois where the incident took place, squatters have rights and the police cannot forcibly remove squatters from the home. It's unclear if the squatters were scammed or if they were aware the property was not legally theirs as they presented police officers with mortgage paperwork, but the mortgage company listed did not exist.

No matter how the couple came about living in the home, it wasn't legally theirs. There needed to be a resolution, but they weren't interested in leaving. That's when the homeowner decided to come up with something a little out of the box: Velazquez decided if the people in his home couldn't be removed, they'd be getting a new roommate–him.

squatters; squatters rights; man moves in with squatters; illinois squatter lawsVintage Moving In GIF by Allison PonthierGiphy

"I said I'm not moving out and I said at one point they gotta leave, they gotta get tired of us being in the property. I called a couple of friends to stay overnight and I knew they were not gonna like that," Velazquez says to ABC 7 Chicago.

The homeowner moved in with his wife and several friends, bringing air mattresses and blankets determined to tire out the squatters. However, it quickly became apparent that the illegal tenants were not planning to move out. In actuality, the morning after Velazquez moved in, the squatters demanded he pay them $8,000 for them to move out. While the stunt of moving in with squatters was a Hail Mary, Velazquez knew that the arrangement wasn't safe and heard stories of squatters staying for months.

Instead of continuing to wait out the squatters, the man started negotiations with the couple to get them out of his house so it could be sold. He paid the couple $4,300 to leave his home. Shortly after the pair moved out, he learned that the woman had previously been arrested after squatting in someone else's home. Velazquez is hoping that he can also bring charges against the woman and her male partner for squatting in his home.

"We didn't want to give them money but we heard really bad stories about squatters taking over properties six, eight, ten months, even a year," Velazquez says. "I heard stories before about squatters. I never thought it was going to happen to me."

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A man who was born blind describes how he perceives of colors and it's mind-bending

"How can the sky and ice be the same color?”

The Tommy Edison Experience/YouTube

How does a person who is born blind conceive of color?

People who are born blind have a very different relationship with the world than those who were born sighted, even if they lose their ability to see at some later point in life. People born blind take in the world with their other senses—touch, sound, smell, taste—but certain things, like color, can only be experienced and understood through eyesight.

When you've never had sight, you have no reference for color other than what people tell you. Grass is green. Lemons are yellow. Stop signs are red. But what green, yellow, and red actually look like is impossible to explain. And the fact that different colors can evoke different feelings in people—blue being soothing or red being alarming—means nothing to a person who's never seen them.

colors, color wheel, paint colors, blind person, visionHow do you explain color to a blind person?Photo credit: Canva

Tommy Edison was born blind and shares what life is like for him as a blind person on his YouTube channel, The Tommy Edison Experience. Edison's candid, open sharing has helped millions of people understand life for blind people a little bit better, and his good-natured demeanor has earned him a devoted following.

How do blind people understand color?

In one video, Edison shares that colors are something sighted people are often most curious about. How do you understand something you've never seen and can't really be described? "Being blind since birth, I've never seen color," he says. "I don't have any concept of what it is. I've never seen anything. But there's this whole part of vocabulary, of language, that doesn't mean anything to me."

He likened it to trying to explain what the sound of the ocean or the sound of birds chirping is like to someone who's never heard. "No concept. None," he shares. He says people often try to explain a sense with another sense, like, "This color smells like [blank]." That still doesn't mean anything.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

He knows that a stoplight is red or that "in the red" means you're in financial trouble, simply from things he's heard. But he still doesn't know what red looks like. "Blue is the water. Cold or ice is blue. The sky is blue," he says. "Now how can the sky and ice be the same thing? That's weird to me. Same color means two completely different things. I don't get it."

How about orange? "I know nothing rhymes with orange," he says. "Way to go, orange. Way to be involved in poetry and song." He understands black and white as opposites, but still no idea what either of them look like.

"And then there are things that don't have color, like water," he says. "It doesn't have color, but the ocean does. I don't get that. Color is hard." Color is hard to explain to someone who's never seen colors, since it's 100% a visual concept.

Edison did try an experiment to see if he could guess the colors of Magic Markers based on what he knows about color associations and scents. Unfortunately, Magic Marker scents aren't spot-on representations of what they're supposed to smell like, so it was tricky. He predicted he'd get half of them correct, four out of eight.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And he did. The fact that he mentioned a white marker at the end is interesting. We all know white Magic Markers don't exist, but how would he know that? Color really is hard. Edison's thoughts on color got people pondering and trying to "see" things from his perspective, which is, of course, almost as impossible as trying to describe color to a blind person.

"My neurons started working so hard to think how to explain a blind human what is 'a colour.'"

"It's like us trying to imagine a dimension beyond 3D."

"Color is like the tasting of seeing, it just gives objects extra 'flavor' instead of being dull."

colors, colorblind glasses, black and white, blind person seeing colors, color conceptColors add visual "flavor" to what we see.Photo credit: Canva

"You know what makes my brain tie itself in a knot? Trying to understand how he imagines or thinks of objects. I mean, when someone says 'big car' to me, I immediately visualize it. The more info, the clearer the image. Big, blue, rusty van. With a broken mirror. You 'see' that, upon reading it, right? But how does he 'see' it in his mind? Does his memory of having felt the shape of a car 'paint a picture' of a shape that he recollects? How could it, when he has no concept of seeing any picture, ever.. Lets put it like this; if someone asks me to think of the shape of an object, I have no other way of thinking about it but visualizing it's shape. Think of three wooden unpainted, rough poles, in the shape of the letter H. Sure, you can imagine feeling the splinter-riddled surfaces and how you run your hands across the shape that forms and H.. But you can't stop yourself from visualizing it.. Can you? Just... I can't understand how something can be visualized, with no concept of visuals. His mind is as much a mystery to us as ours is to him on these matters."

"The way he thinks about colors is like how we think what is in his head. It’s hard to imagine."

Trying to see different perspectives is a valuable exercise in general, but trying to see the perspective of someone who can't see can help us truly expand our capacity for empathy and understanding.

Find more videos on The Tommy Edison Experience on YouTube.

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