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How Bubbles Help Kids with Cleft Conditions
For thousands of children born with cleft conditions, Operation Smile provides simple, playful tools—like bubbles—to strengthen the skills they need to speak and thrive.
While a bottle of bubbles might seem out of place in a hospital setting, you might be surprised to learn that, for thousands of children around the world born with cleft lip and palate, they can be a helpful tool in comprehensive cleft care. Lilia, who was born with cleft lip and palate in 2020, is one of the many patients who received this care.
As a toddler, Lilia underwent two surgeries to treat cleft lip and palate with Operation Smile’s surgical program in Puebla, Mexico. Because of Operation Smile’s comprehensive care, it wasn’t long before her personality transformed: Lilia went from a quiet and withdrawn toddler to an exuberant, curious explorer, babbling, expressing herself with a variety of sounds, and engaging with others like any child her age.
Lilia is now a healthy five-year-old, with the same cheerful attitude and boundless energy. Her progress is the result of care at every level, from surgery to speech therapy to ongoing support at home—but it’s also evidence that small, sustained interventions throughout it all can make a meaningful difference.
Lilia at age 1, before surgery, and at age 5, 4 years post-surgery Cleft Conditions: A Global Problem
Since 1982, Operation Smile has provided cleft lip and cleft palate surgeries to more than 500,000 patients worldwide with the help of generous volunteers and donors. Cleft conditions are congenital conditions, meaning they are present at birth. With cleft lip and palate, the lip or the roof of the mouth do not form fully during fetal development. Cleft conditions put children at risk for malnutrition and poor weight gain, since their facial structure can make feeding challenging. But cleft conditions can have an enormous social impact as well: Common difficulties with speech can leave kids socially isolated and unable to meet the same developmental milestones as their peers.
Surgery is a vital step in treating cleft conditions, but it’s also just one part of a much larger solution. Organizations like Operation Smile emphasize the importance of multi-disciplinary teams that provide comprehensive, long-term care to patients across many years. This approach, which includes oral care, speech therapy, nutritional support, and psychosocial care, not only aids in physical recovery from surgery but also helps children develop the skills and confidence to eat easily, speak clearly, and engage in everyday life. This ensures that each patient receives the full range of support they need to thrive.
Marie, 11 months, with her mother at Operation Smile Madagascar before her cleft surgery (Operation Smile Photos) A Playful (and Powerful) Solution
Throughout a patient’s care, simple tools like bubbles can play a meaningful role from start to finish.
Immediately before surgery, children are often in a new and unfamiliar environment far from home, some of them experiencing a hospital setting for the first time. When care providers or loved ones blow bubbles, it’s a simple yet effective technique: Not only are the children soothed and distracted, the bubbles also help create a sense of joy and playfulness that eases their anxiety.
Milagros Rojas, a volunteer speech therapist in Peru, using bubbles in a screening with a patient. (Operation Smile Photos) In speech therapy, bubbles can take on an even more important role. Blowing bubbles requires controlled airflow, as well as the ability to form a rounded “O” shape with the lips, which are skills that children with cleft conditions may struggle to develop. Practicing these skills with bubbles allows children to gently strengthen their facial muscles, improve breath control, and support the motor skills needed for speech development. Beyond that, blowing bubbles can help kids connect with their parents or providers in a way that’s playful, comforting, and accessible even for very young patients.
Finally, bubbles often follow patients with cleft conditions home in the “smile bags” that each patient receives when the surgical procedure is finished. Smile bags, which help continue speech therapy outside of the hospital setting, can contain language enrichment booklets, a mirror, oxygen tubing, and bubbles. While regular practice with motor skills can help with physical recovery, small acts of play help as well, giving kids space to simply enjoy themselves and join in on what peers are able to do.
Bubbles at Home and Beyond
Today, because of Operation Smile’s dedication to comprehensive cleft care, Lilia is now able to make friends and speak clearly, all things that could have been difficult or impossible before. Instead of a childhood defined by limitation, Lilia—and others around the world—can look forward to a childhood filled with joy, learning, discovery, friends, and new possibilities.
CTA: Lilia’s life was changed for the better with the care she received through Operation Smile. Find out how you can make an impact in other children’s lives by visiting operationsmile.org today.
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Upworthy exclusive: Neil deGrasse Tyson on the best way to make first contact with aliens
Tyson shares why he finally wrote a book about aliens and how we should greet them if—or when!—they land on Earth.
Neil deGrasse Tyson—astrophysicist, director of the Hayden Planetarium, and host of the StarTalk podcast—is one of America’s most popular science communicators. He has worked tirelessly for more than four decades to improve scientific literacy and instill a greater sense of awe about the cosmos.
In his new book, Take Me to Your Leader, Tyson loosens his space tie a bit and has fun examining the possibility of aliens visiting Earth from scientific, historical, and pop-culture perspectives.
Upworthy spoke with Tyson about why he chose this moment to discuss aliens, how we should greet them if—or when!—they land, and how he hopes to broaden people’s perspectives through the alien narrative.
Take Me to Your Leader cover. Photo credit: Simon & Schuster Why now is the perfect time to talk about aliens
The September 9, 2025, congressional hearing, “Restoring Public Trust Through UAP Transparency and Whistleblower Protection,” was a watershed moment for UFO/UAP disclosure, shifting the conversation from science fiction and conspiracy theories to a national security issue.
“The real transition for me was the high-ranking officials who came forth in Congress,” Tyson said. “Much of which landed in that two-hour, hour-and-fifty-minute documentary, Day of Disclosure. So it elevated once it hit that level. It was no longer the sleepy farmer in the back 40 reporting on a glowing object over his farm. It was no longer the drunken revelers coming out of the bar at 2 a.m. reporting on the glowing thing in the sky. Upon reaching that, I said, ‘All right, I can’t sit back any further. I have to write this book.’”
An illustration of a flying saucer. Photo credit: Danie Franco/Unsplash The turning point in the public discussion about aliens inspired Tyson to examine extraterrestrials from a practical, science-based perspective.
“It’s an attempt to anchor the conversation, to celebrate the imaginations that have created aliens in our pop culture, and to pose a set of questions for those who may have had a one-on-one encounter with aliens,” he said.
Who should represent humanity if aliens arrived on Earth?
What if aliens were to visit Earth, as his book’s title suggests, and demand, “Take me to your leader”? The Earth doesn’t have a singular leader to turn to, so who would Tyson anoint to make first contact with the alien delegation? His choice: former president Barack Obama.
Bill Nye, then-President Barack Obama, and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Photo credit: WhiteHouse/Wikimedia Commons Tyson says that Obama would be a great representative of Earth after a recent conversation the 44th president had with Stephen Colbert, in which he said he “would be a good emissary for the planet. I feel I have a diverse background, some experience in statecraft and diplomacy. I’m friendly. I actually think I can do a pretty good job.”
“He thinks he would be a good emissary for Earth, and that would be true,” Tyson shared. “First, he’s a nice guy, plus he’s smart, and he’s also scientifically literate. I think he sees his value there because a politician who’s also a diplomat would value that role if you’re meeting someone from another land, another place, another time.”
However, Tyson wouldn’t send Obama alone to greet the aliens. He said Obama would need a team of experts to greet the delegation, including a cryptographer, an astrophysicist, an engineer, and a mathematician, “because math is the language of the universe.”
Who would be the astrophysicist? Tyson, of course. “I’d be the astrophysicist just for good measure,” he joked. That’s no surprise, considering one of the first lines in his book is: “Ever since childhood I’ve wanted to be abducted by aliens.”
Tyson adds that it would be dangerous for humanity if we sent conspiracy theorists to meet our new friends.
“There are people who don’t think we went to the moon, people who think Earth is flat. And I say without hesitation to leave them behind on your first encounter with the alien,” he warned. “You’ve got to leave the best impression on them as you possibly can. So, you want humans to have a fighting chance to be respected by our new friends.”
Tyson challenges Hollywood’s conceptions of alien life
In Take Me to Your Leader, Tyson deconstructs the notion that if aliens were to visit Earth, they would be humanoid creatures, such as the bar patrons on Mos Eisley in Star Wars or the big-eyed “gray” aliens popularized by Whitley Strieber’s Communion series.
“I’d like to think of it as a force for Hollywood to up its game. That’s what [author] Andy Weir did with Project Hail Mary. His alien was crab-oid, not humanoid, and it was made of a material that resembled rocks, and they were really good engineers,” Tyson said. “So, Andy Weir tried to break that mold. And I would be happier if I saw more of that.”
The alien question holds up a mirror to humanity
Ultimately, Take Me to Your Leader is a lighthearted look at how aliens appear in American culture through movies and TV, conspiracy theories, sci-fi speculation, quasi-encounters, and our collective imaginations. Some may be disappointed that it doesn’t provide hard evidence of alien existence. But its real accomplishment is helping humans better understand themselves through imagining otherworldly beings.
“It is the summation of my life’s thinking and observing. Humans, what we believe, what we count as evidence, what convinces us. The universe is quite susceptible to people’s personal theories about things,” Tyson said. “A lot of the cultural references, it’s not because I am some deep anthropologist, although in a small way, we all are. My father was a sociologist, so I have some baptism in thinking about people and what makes us tick. So the referencing to aliens and our relationship with them and their relationship with us was pumped by these very factors.”
This interview was edited for clarity and time.
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How to avoid sounding long-winded in conversations with this 60-second trick
Chris Fenning explains the TIP conversation technique.
Speaking clearly and concisely is a communication skill greatly appreciated in both personal and professional conversations. And getting a conversation started with someone who rambles is usually a small-talk nightmare.
As communication expert Chris Fenning explained, “We can tell pretty quickly if someone’s going to get to the point or if we are in for a long and painful conversation.”
Fenning, a former self-professed rambler, shared exactly how you can avoid being long-winded and unclear during conversations. He offered up his simple three-step conversation technique during a 2025 TEDx Talk.
The 60-second clear communication trick
The start of any conversation sets the tone for a productive interaction. As Fenning explained, “Every time we communicate, we have an opportunity to create clarity or confusion. And clarity begins from the very first minute.”
If the first minute of a conversation goes wrong, they can become “longer, less effective, and more frustrating,” added Fenning.
To avoid that, he created a three-letter acronym called TIP that outlines an easy framework for productive conversations:
T: Topic
I: Intent
P: PointTIP conversation framework
According to Fenning, the TIP method works as follows:
T: Topic
Every conversation needs a clear topic. Fenning says that with a clear topic, everyone can stay in sync and understand what will be discussed.
“Start your message with one sentence that names the topic you want to talk about. And the more specific, the better,” said Fenning. “One message, one sentence that lets your audience know what the topic is.”
Examples include:
- “I want to talk about July sales figures.”
- “I want to talk about Project Everest’s timeline.”
- “I want to talk about our 1-on-1 this week.”
I: Intent
Intent should explain what you want the other person to do with your message. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why are you telling me this?” while talking with someone, it’s because their intent was unclear, explains Fenning.
He adds that our brains go through a process called selective attention that determines what information is important and what is not. If your brain doesn’t know what to do with a message, it reads it as “not important, and we stop listening,” Fenning said.
By making your intent clear, you are telling your audience what to do with the information you’re giving them.
Examples include:
- If you have a question, say, “Can I ask you a question?”
- If you want someone to make a decision, say, “I’d like your help with this decision.”
- If you want to get something off your chest, say, “Is it okay if I vent for a minute?”
P: Point
Fenning says this is the most important piece of advice, and if you only had five seconds to speak, this is what you would lead with.
“We need a point. We need a headline,” he explained. “Something that tells us where this conversation is going. In one sentence, deliver the most important piece of information.”
Examples include:
- “I want to give a refund for a late delivery.”
- “Our project launch is going to be delayed for a month.”
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A homeless man returns a pet dog’s stolen ashes to their owner. It’s changing his life.
The dog’s remains were returned home as a man found his own.
When Holly and Brandon Dunn’s car was broken into, the stolen items were ones they thought they’d never get back. The thief took a bag containing the ashes of their late chihuahua named Tia. The thief also took Tia’s ceramic paw prints and a memorial stuffed-animal replica of the beloved pup. Two weeks later, the items were found and returned. Now the Seattle community is chipping in to reward the hero with a fresh start.
Brandon explained to KING-TV that the couple was unable to have children, so Tia had been their furry kid throughout their 20-year relationship.
“It’s a bit cliche, I guess, comparing a dog to a child. But, you know, for us that was my child,” he said.
The search was on
The Dunns put up flyers offering a reward for the return of the ashes and memorial items. Folks on social media and Reddit offered to help search and put up additional flyers in the Seattle area. There were even people willing to 3D-print a replica of Tia’s paw prints to replace the original ones.
A hero reaches out
Two weeks later, the unlikely happened. The items were found and returned by a homeless man named Chris Engdahl.
For the past seven years, Engdahl had been living unhoused in the Seattle area. He made a living off what he could find and sell from dumpsters. It was in a random dumpster that Engdahl found Tia’s ashes, paw prints, and stuffed replica. Engdahl knew the items had sentimental value and held onto them in hopes of finding their owner. After seeing one of the flyers, Engdahl texted Brandon’s phone number and made sure the Dunns got Tia’s remains back.
The Seattle community chips in
Engdahl didn’t want a reward from the couple and was just happy that a fellow dog lover got their precious memorial items back. The Dunns had already moved out of the state. However, they and the Seattle community still wanted to do something to help Engdahl.
Kathryn Michie, a person who helped post flyers for the Dunns, started a GoFundMe for Engdahl to help restart his life. As of this writing, Engdahl has recently moved into his first apartment, and the GoFundMe has raised more than $6,700. The money will be used to help Engdahl get furniture and other supplies. Some of the money will also go toward food for his new dog, Reo, whom he recently rescued from the street. Altogether, it will help Engdahl’s new place feel more like home.
“I just got off the phone with Chris and he’s absolutely floored with the support from this community!” Michie wrote in a May 6 update on the GoFundMe page. “Thank you to everyone who is changing his life for the better. He is such an angel and deserves all the help!”
Kindness and support from an entire community helped recover lost items, house someone in need, and create a new life for a dog, too.
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Woman tests drive-thru barista by tipping him $1 for every second he listens to daughter’s story
“Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”
Imagine passing a test with flying colors when you didn’t even know you were taking one. A mother-daughter duo, known as Martina and Alexa, visits fast-food and coffeehouse drive-thrus. The person serving them is then, in a sense, given a test of their kindness, often revealing the most wholesome side of humanity.
The way it works is this: The mother-daughter duo purchases food and drinks at drive-thrus such as Starbucks, Carl’s Jr., and Wendy’s. When they’re given their items, the daughter begins telling a story. As explained in the videos, “Every second they listen, the tip goes up $1. They don’t know that.”
One video stands out
They have many fun examples on TikTok and Instagram. But one recently truly stood out.
A blond man appears in the Starbucks drive-thru window, cheerfully greeting the pair. “Hi! Here we are!” While the mother counts out one-dollar bills on her lap, her daughter, sporting bright red long hair, begins telling a story with the most adorable uptick: “One time at school? We had a science project about health? And I went up there? And like I talked for five minutes about how sugar was bad for you?”
While the story goes on, the barista smiles warmly and occasionally says, “Right, uh huh,” to keep her at ease. She continues: “But on the actual day? After school, I went and I bought a donut? To test if sugar is bad for you. So yeah. Because I can’t present information without data and all of that, so yeah. Also, I have a snake at home? She’s a ball python? And she’s so cute. Her name is Frosty!”
The barista enthusiastically asks, “Really?” She continues, “Yeah, and sometimes she likes her tank.” At this point, Mom cuts her off, and the barista hands over a drink. “Can I give you a tip?” she asks while handing him $30. “Oh my gosh! Thank you. Are you sure?”
The whole exchange exemplifies pure kindness. But it gets even better. Turns out the barista is Dale B. Pirofsky. And there was something about him they just couldn’t forget, nor could the viewers who saw the video.
The duo behind the videos thought they’d pay his kindness forward not just with a big tip, but with the hope of helping him raise money for a car. They started a GoFundMe, where they shared:
“When we met Dale, there was something about him that immediately stood out – his kindness, his warmth, his humor, and the kind of positive energy that you can feel right away. He truly has one of those bright souls that makes people smile without even trying.
After we shared the video, Dale became a favorite across social media in just a few days. It has been so special to see how many people connected with him through the screen. So many of you saw exactly what we saw in person – his genuine heart, his sweet personality, and the joy he brings into a simple moment.
Many people reached out asking how they could support him financially, so we contacted Dale directly. After speaking with him and getting his permission, we decided to create this GoFundMe in his name. Dale shared with us that he has been working two jobs to save up for his very first car. This fundraiser is not an emergency request – it is simply a way for anyone who feels moved by Dale’s story to support a goal he has already been working so hard toward.”
“Everyone deserves to be heard”
Upworthy had the chance to chat with Dale, who shared how grateful he was for the whole encounter.
When asked what he thought when she started telling the story, he said he was happy to listen. “Whenever someone wants to talk to me, especially children, I always try to listen,” he said. “I grew up—and honestly still struggle—with feeling unheard or unacknowledged, so I always try to make someone who needs to chat feel heard.”
He didn’t suspect it was a test or a prank. “Honestly? I probably would have should the context of the story been something less engaging!” he said. “But considering she was talking about her school project, I figured it was something she was super proud of! Everyone deserves to be heard about what they are enthusiastic about.”
This has been his biggest tip so far. “As a barista, the thirty-dollar tip definitely takes the cake!” he said. “Although, I did have to share it with my fellow baristas, and I’m in no way, shape, or form unhappy about that. My coworkers have been nothing but supportive of me, and they totally deserved a little something!”
As for the duo, they remain rather mysterious. But what he does know is how good they made him feel. “They are a family of sweet-hearted people,” he said. “This family has absolutely turned my life upside down over the last week, and I am so grateful for all the support I’ve been given! It’s nice to see my enthusiasm and smile have made so many people so happy. It’s a dream of mine I can finally say I’ve achieved.”
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North Carolina graduates blown away when commencement speaker pledges to pay off their senior-year debt
His reason why is beautiful.
In Raleigh, North Carolina, a college graduation turned into something students at North Carolina State University will likely talk about for the rest of their lives.
What began as a classic commencement ceremony for graduates of the Wilson College of Textiles ended with cheers, tears, and a surprise announcement that instantly changed the financial futures of hundreds of students.
As the grads gathered inside Reynolds Coliseum on May 8, commencement speaker Anil Kochhar shared that he and his wife, Marilyn, would pay off all final-year student loans for the graduating class.
The announcement came as a tribute to Kochhar’s late father, Prakash Chand Kochhar, whose own journey to Raleigh began nearly 80 years ago.
A tribute decades in the making
Kochhar explained that his father traveled from Punjab, India, to North Carolina in 1946 on a scholarship to study textile manufacturing at NC State. At the time, he was believed to be only the second Indian student ever to enroll at the university.
His education eventually led to an international career in textiles before his death in 1985. Years later, his son returned to the same institution to honor that legacy in a way no one in the audience expected.
“It is my privilege to announce today that, in honor of my father Prakash Chand Kochhar, Marilyn and I are providing a graduation gift to cover all the final-year education loans incurred by Wilson College graduates during the 2025–26 academic year,” Kochhar announced.
“Marilyn and I hope that all of you leave Reynolds Coliseum today not only with a degree but with greater freedom to pursue your goals, take risks and build the lives you’ve worked so hard to achieve,” he added.
You can watch the video, courtesy of the New York Post, below:
Students were stunned by the announcement
The crowd immediately erupted into applause as students realized what the gift meant. For many students, that payoff will grant more freedom, opening doors that may have previously felt out of reach.
One student, fashion and textile management major Alyssa D’Costa, explained how meaningful the gesture was to her family.
A female graduate. Photo credit: Canva “As a daughter of immigrants, this money helps me and my family a lot, and I’m really fortunate to have an opportunity like this,” D’Costa told the university.
Viewers were moved, too
The emotional response from students spread quickly online, with many people praising the Kochhar family for investing directly in graduates at a time when student debt continues to weigh heavily on young adults nationwide.
“I imagine there are some of those graduates who really really needed that. Just lifted a burden off them. You have honored your father for certain,” wrote one YouTube viewer.
Another said, “This is truly beautiful: Genuinely what a kind soul.”
Why this tribute was extra special
The Kochhar family has previously contributed to the college through scholarships and academic funding, but this particular gift carried a different emotional weight.
During his remarks, Kochhar reflected on how unlikely the moment would have once seemed to his father.
“My father could not have imagined this moment. Not just me standing here, but all of you sitting here,” he said. “A new generation, shaped by a different world, but connected by the same spirit of possibility that brought him here decades ago. And that’s what today represents.”
He also described the courage it took for his father to leave India and begin a new chapter in Raleigh many years ago.
“He could not have known where that journey would lead,” Kochhar said. “He could not have imagined the life it would create, or that one day his son would stand here speaking to a graduating class at the very institution that welcomed him.”
Graduates tossing their caps. Photo credit: Canva For students crossing the graduation stage that afternoon, the ceremony became more than a celebration of academic achievement. It also marked the beginning of adulthood with a little more breathing room and served as a reminder of how one act of generosity can ripple through an entire community.
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Psychologists say these four ‘savoring techniques’ trick our minds into feeling instantly happier
“Savoring is rebelling against yourself.”
When it comes to happiness, we’ve got to try every angle possible. Some people are born with serotonin-soaked synapses, while others aren’t so lucky. The good news is that, according to Harvard University social scientist and author Arthur C. Brooks, there are techniques that can, in a sense, help our minds quickly move in the right direction.
In a recent clip posted to Facebook, Brooks explains the “four savoring techniques” for elevating one’s mood. As with many of his thoughts on psychological matters—many of which have been covered by Upworthy staffers—he gets straight to the point. As he writes on his website, “Happiness isn’t a destination — it’s a direction.”
1. Behavioral display
“Number one is what they call behavioral display, which means expressing positive emotion with nonverbal behaviors,” Brooks said. “Smile, even if you don’t feel it. You’ll fool your brain. You’ll be happier because of this behavioral display. Smile more. Pretend you’re happier. Go act happier.”
2. Be present
“Second, be present, which is mindfully focusing on the pleasant experience,” Brooks said. “And what that means is saying to yourself, ‘I am doing this thing. I am sitting on the train looking out at a beautiful seascape.’ Being present actually means saying the thing to yourself because you want to bring it from your subconscious into your prefrontal cortex— into your consciousness, where you’re really thinking about something. And the way to do that is by saying it. And it’s really unbelievably effective.”
3. Capitalize the positive
“Number three is capitalizing, which means talking about and celebrating positive experiences with others,” Brooks said. “Don’t just say it to yourself. Say it to other people. Talk about the experience that you’re actually having. Notice things to other people, which makes this even more conscious, even more concrete, even more permanent.”
4. Mental time travel
“And last but not least is what they call ‘positive mental time travel,’ which is vivid reminiscence or anticipation of positive events,” Brooks said. “To savor the past on purpose, by paying attention to the positive parts.”
Savoring is a subject Brooks talks about often. In a clip on Instagram, he shares not only the techniques people can try, but also why they’re worth trying. In the post, he writes:
“Savoring is rebelling against yourself. We’re wired to notice what’s wrong before we notice what’s good. That helped our ancestors survive, but it also means we move through life without fully experiencing the moments worth savoring. Savoring doesn’t come naturally. It’s a conscious act of pushing back against the brain’s constant pull toward worry, vigilance, and the next thing. And in a culture that rewards speed and distraction, slowing down long enough to truly enjoy something requires conscious effort.”
“We’re not evolved for savoring”
In the clip, Brooks discusses how our brains are wired from an evolutionary standpoint to protect our survival:
“We’re not evolved for savoring. We’re evolved to rush through everything and pay attention to the negative. We have brains that were designed, more or less, in their current form something like 250,000 years ago in the late Pleistocene Era. And that was a dangerous time to be Homo sapiens. You had to pay attention a lot or you were gonna be a wild animal’s lunch.
So we have more brain space dedicated to negative emotions than positive emotions. That’s what gives us what we call the negativity bias in our lives. Negativity bias means that life isn’t that great all the time, but we’re more likely to get to tomorrow or more likely to survive the night. That makes perfect evolutionary sense that your suspicious inner troglodyte is trying to survive and pass on your genes. You’re not a saber-toothed tiger’s lunch.”
Prefrontal cortex to the rescue
“But that negativity bias is now maladaptive,” Brooks added. “It’s basically an error that we would do that. That we would not savor, but rather that we’d be suspicious and vigilant and trying to get into the future as quickly as possible. But that’s why we have a prefrontal cortex so that we have decisions. We can make conscious decisions, and even though I have a negativity bias, I can override it with my consciousness.”
Upworthy spoke with licensed therapist Matt Grammer, who agrees that the four savoring techniques are helpful reminders that it’s possible to sometimes short-circuit negativity.
“Savoring gives people the opportunity to slow down to register positive experiences, instead of continuing on in stress response mode,” Grammer said. “It helps people attain equilibrium and improve emotional resilience and stress recovery and satisfaction in relationships.”
“Coding” the positive
Grammer also notes that life can feel tedious when we don’t stop to reframe our thoughts.
“Though people may experience objective positive reality, life seems emotionless and flat, because we are so quick to get to the next step without enjoying or ‘coding’ positive experiences in long-term emotional memory,” he said.
Dr. Ashley Smith, a licensed psychologist and co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Health, specifically discussed the “built-in negativity bias” with Upworthy.
“We more readily notice, hone in, and remember bad stuff over good,” Smith said. “In fact, negative things get encoded in our memory almost instantaneously, while positive things take 10 times longer—10 to 12 seconds. That’s where savoring comes in. If you don’t intentionally amplify and savor a positive experience—intentionally focusing on it and how it makes you feel for a full 10 seconds—it’s like it never happened neurologically!”
“Memory capture”
As for how to put this information to good use, Amberley Meredith, psychologist and author of The Adaptable Sustainable Psychology Collection, shares with Upworthy how to reverse rumination:
“It’s called a ‘memory capture.’ We often ruminate and go over the difficult moments repeatedly. This is about doing the reverse. We take in every sound, every smell. We linger our gaze on each aspect of the moment that we can see. We pay attention to any words being spoken, replaying them gently in our minds. We take time with tastes and sensations, noticing how our body feels in the moment.
Savouring is an art, but with practice it can become a more accessible and spontaneous response over time. And the memories you ‘bank’ can be re-experienced and enjoyed with greater clarity, perhaps as a buffer or reminder of better times during those difficult moments.”
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Dad stuns bride with a recording of her accurately describing her future wedding at 4 years old
The groom was gobsmacked to hear his name.
Lots of kids imagine their wedding day when they are little in all kinds of creative ways. But few have those childhood imaginings recorded, and even fewer have them unearthed on their actual wedding day.
But one bride was surprised by just that at her own wedding reception, and in the absolute sweetest way. During the father-daughter dance, as the Beach Boys crooned out “God Only Knows,” suddenly a man’s voice came over the speaker. “Tell me about your wedding,” it said.
A child’s voice responded: “My wedding is gonna have clowns dancing with the children, and a moon bounce, and face painting…when the brides all change into costumes, they go in the moon bounce.”
The child was Jordan, the bride, at four years old, and the man’s voice was her dad.
“Who are the brides gonna be?” preschooler Jordan’s dad asked.
“The brides are gonna be silly princesses,” Jordan responded. She said they would be named Gracie, Rachel, Kelly (or Ketti?), and Sarah.
“And what about the princes?” her dad asked. “Who are the princes going to be?”
“Oh, you mean all the boys?” little Jordan asked. “They’re gonna be silly superheroes!”
Little girl dressed up for a wedding. Photo credit: Canva But when Dad asked who they were, no one expected her little voice to cry out, “Max! Max! Max!”
Max, Jordan’s real-life adult groom, who was listening to all of this, was gobsmacked—as in full-on, wide-eyed, jaw-to-the-floor shocked. Jordan herself was blown away.
“No way!” Max said. “No way. No way!”
Jordan wrote the backstory in the TikTok caption: “My parents found a video from when I was 4 years old talking about my future wedding, where I named my childhood friends as my bridesmaids that were in attendance, and said Max would be my husband…. While I didn’t meet Max until college it was kismet!! They edited that clip into our father-daughter dance and totally surprised everyone including me!!!”
People loved the clever, creative weaving of the audio into the father-daughter dance. And of course, commenters adored the groom’s stunned reaction:
“You just KNOW your dad has been planning that since the moment you said ‘Dad, this is Max.’”
“Just sobbing over a girl who manifested her entire life without knowing it.”
“This is the most beautiful invisible string story I’ve ever heard of.”
“The fact your husband was crying before he even heard his name said… a REAL one!! Congratulations!”
“I am BAWLING RIGHT NOW. literally the definition of ‘in every lifetime.’”
Of all the uses of childhood videos at a wedding, this one might be the most creative and meaningful yet. Congratulations to the adorable couple, who were so clearly meant for one another.
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Is wearing earbuds in the grocery store antisocial?
There’s no shortage of debate about AirPods etiquette.
If it feels like everyone in public is wearing earbuds—Apple AirPods, specifically—that’s because the behavior is on the rise. In fact, the phenomenon has even been the subject of scientific inquiry, with one study out of the New Jersey School of Architecture examining people’s creation of “private sound environments” in busy urban spaces.
People might choose to listen to calming music, a podcast, upbeat tunes, or even just silence or white noise. But it’s not the content causing debate—it’s the etiquette involved. There’s been no shortage of discourse around the use of AirPods in public, and one of the most hotly discussed places, fittingly enough, is also one of the most common: the grocery store.
Some say wearing earbuds in the grocery store is antisocial
A recent post on X with nearly nine million total views featured a number of strong opinions on both sides.
The original poster claims to have stopped wearing AirPods at the grocery store because “it’s antisocial, doesn’t matter if everyone else is doing it, you have to start with yourself.”
Another user replied that they had also recently quit: “I had the same realization recently. I used to fill every ’empty’ moment with podcasts, grocery shopping, jogging, gaming, even cooking, thinking I was being productive by multitasking. But instead of feeling smarter, my brain felt constantly overloaded with noise and information.”
Others argued that wearing earbuds dramatically decreases social awareness and said people tuned into music or a podcast would frequently stand in their way or otherwise behave rudely due to their inattentiveness.
In another X post, a user called wearing headphones in public a “dystopian tech trend” and worried that things would only get worse with AI-enhanced glasses, more engaging and addictive mobile apps, augmented reality experiences, and more.
Psychology Today chimed in on the topic in 2022 with an article titled “Why Earbuds Are a Threat to Ourselves and Society.” In it, Jim Taylor, PhD, wrote:
“When you are wearing earbuds, you are also sending a signal to others around you that you don’t want to be disturbed. And think about those spontaneous moments in your life when you met someone who became important to you (or you haven’t had those moments because you’re always plugged in). They happened because you were open to the world around you. With earbuds, you are creating a virtual wall that surrounds you and that doesn’t readily allow others into your world.”
Psychologists weigh in
The first generation of AirPods is about 10 years old now. Clinical thinking around their use has evolved quite a bit in that time.
For example, Dr. Shannon Franklin, co-founder and director of clinical training at Element Q Healing Center, says that headphones in public aren’t antisocial—they’re a regulation strategy:
“[It’s] not a rejection of connection. For folks who are neurodivergent, anxious, or highly sensitive to sensory input, a grocery store is genuinely overwhelming. The headphones aren’t saying ‘leave me alone,’ they’re saying ‘I need to manage this environment so I can function in it.’ There’s also just the reality that public space has gotten louder and more stimulating. People are protecting their attention and their nervous system.”
Ilana Grines, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Daily Therapy Dose, agrees and challenges the stigma behind “closing yourself off.”
“The stigma comes from this idea that we’re supposed to be available to strangers at all times and that being polite means staying open to whatever comes at you,” Grines said. “There’s a real difference between being antisocial and being intentional about where you spend your social energy. The person with earbuds in at the grocery store might be saving up that energy for a meaningful conversation with someone they actually care about later. That’s protective, and probably important to their overall wellbeing.”
She calls wearing AirPods in public “the opposite of antisocial” and argues it demonstrates great self-awareness and social awareness.
To take it a step further, women in particular have admitted to wearing earbuds more frequently in public to tune out and protect themselves from harassers and people who might pose a danger to them. Other people use headphones as a tool to help ward off pushy salespeople, volunteers seeking signatures on clipboards, and other contentious social interactions that can heighten anxiety.
AirPods at the grocery store, and in other public spaces, is ultimately a gray area. There’s a fine line between using technology to self-regulate or protect your peace and slipping into a dystopian reality where we’re all too self-involved in our own little tech worlds to notice each other.
The study out of the New Jersey School of Architecture actually found something interesting worth noting. The subjects observed enjoyed busy indoor spaces, like public transit or the grocery store, more when they had earbuds in. But they found far less enjoyment in nature, like public parks, than individuals who didn’t wear headphones.
In other words, there’s a time and a place. It’s polite and respectful to look a cashier in the eye and engage with them human-to-human, not tune them out with headphones. And if you’re outside the grocery store and in the natural world, research has shown you’ll get much more out of the experience if you tune in to the sounds and sights around you.
But it’s not antisocial to realize that you don’t owe anyone your time, and it’s OK if you need a little self-regulation to function in high-stimulation environments. It’s good timing that we finally have the tools to do it—and enjoy some awesome tunes at the same time.
