It sometimes feels impossible not to take things personally. But what if statistics proved that most experiences are not, indeed, personal? That what we chalk up to an attack on our character could actually just be forgetfulness or self-centeredness?
The concept is called Hanlon’s Razor, coined by Robert J. Hanlon, an American writer. It’s this: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Of course, this can’t explain every interaction, as obviously some things are unfortunately done with personal and/or malicious intent. But there are many times, it’s simply not the case.
Britannica.com describes the idea as a “heuristic reasoning tool,” meaning it’s quick and helpful, if not exactly science-based. The explanation continues, “The statement is a reminder to give others the benefit of the doubt by considering alternative explanations for their actions rather than assuming that they intend harm.
For example, if someone does not receive a response from their close friend after sending their friend a text, that person might assume that their friend is upset with them and intentionally not responding. In reality, the friend’s cell phone battery may have died, and the friend might not have had time to recharge it.”
This can be used in situations spanning all parts of life. Here are a few:
The workplace
In the article “Why More Employees Should Learn Hanlon’s Razor” for Forbes, Jamie Flinchbaugh first softens the original wording. “‘Stupid’ sounds pretty harsh, so let’s break that term down into more accurate and compassionate terms, especially in terms of workplace decisions. Two key components are naivety and ignorance.”
Flinchbaugh shares the example of a boss assigning a task. “You’re massively overloaded and your boss comes to you with a new big project. Most employees will take the project and then grumble to someone about how inconsiderate their boss is. If you instead assume ignorance, you can show your boss your current to-do list and ask where the new task should fall on that list of priorities. With this new information, your boss may rethink that assignment or let you know you can de-prioritize other work.”
Should the issue be naivety, there are ways to tackle that, as well. “Outline the steps or methods you might use, and ask for recommendations for how to complete it more effectively or efficiently. This will force them to look behind the request and engage with how the work might get completed.”
Romantic relationships
In an article for Tech Tello, Vinita Bansal uses this tool for all relationships, noting times when it seems a partner “might not have your best intentions at heart.” She writes, “In these moments, applying Hanlon’s razor can enable you to shift from assuming bad intentions to exploring other alternative viewpoints. It may strengthen your relationship as you approach the other person with the desire to understand instead of blame.”
Bansal adds, “The major German literary figure Johann Wolfgang von Goethe published ‘The Sorrows of Young Werther’, in which he stated ‘Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.’ Opening your mind to seek other views shifts your perspective from a negative frame of mind to a positive one, from shutting down communication to actively engaging and blaming others to finding solutions together.”
Friendships
In a clip posted to social media, Raleigh Williams discusses the concept with his preteen daughter. He notes in the chyron that this is in fact the “most common fallacy with preteens.”
He says to his daughter, “You were telling me you think your friends are being mean for not inviting you to hang out. What fallacy is that?” She answers, “Hanlon’s Razor. Whenever you assume that someone is just trying to be cruel, they could just be forgetful.”
Williams turns to the camera and reiterates the idea. “Never assume maliciousness when forgetfulness or stupidity is more likely an explanation.”
With over 130,000 likes on Instagram/Facebook, well over 1,000 people chimed in on the conversation. While some advised being leery of “smart people pretending to be naïve,” many praised the wisdom. One Facebooker writes, “If more parents taught their kids logical fallacies, this world would be a utopia.”
