All of us carry beliefs about the world that we acquired somewhere along the journey that we take as fact. Often, these ideas are opinions we got from others or inferences we made on our own, which may not be evidence-based. These ideas can merge with evidence-based ideas to the point that we have a hard time separating fact from conjecture.
It’s completely normal to have a combination of facts and opinions in our brains. Still, if we want to be clear thinkers, communicators, and problem-solvers, it’s important that we can separate those ideas. Obviously, that’s easier said than done.
The power of separating facts from opinions
A Redditor in the LifeProTips subforum devised a clear way to separate facts from opinions when we’re explaining problems to others or trying to make sense of them in our own heads: “When explaining a problem, separate what you know from what you think,” they shared. “Guesses sound dangerous when they are dressed like facts,” they added.
An example would be if you worked for an advertising company and sent an idea over for a commercial to a client and they haven’t responded as promptly as you thought:
What I know: “The client hasn’t responded in three days.”
What I think: “They hated the idea.”
What I need to find out: “Whether they saw it, need more time, or have concerns.”
If you and your coworkers all jumped on the idea that they didn’t like the proposal, that could have a big effect on how you reach out to the agency and could make you respond in a defensive way. In reality, the person who was supposed to field the request was off that week, so they were a little late getting back.
Refusing to make assumptions is a great way to prevent yourself or your team from spiraling.
The same reasoning could be used in a health situation. Let’s say you have pain on the bottom of your feet.
What I know: “My feet are in pain.”
What I think: “I should stop wearing flip-flops.”
What I need to find out: “Whether the problem is being caused by footwear or whether there is an internal problem.”
An incorrect self-diagnosis can lead to real problems. Sure, your feet may hurt because of your footwear, but it could be an even deeper, internal problem, such as plantar fasciitis.
What is nonviolent communication?
This same type of reasoning is a key part of nonviolent communication, a strategy developed in the ’60s to address inner-city violence. This communication tactic involves separating our observations from our emotions, stating our needs, and then making requests. This reframing turns communication that may be seen as hostile into something more productive.
Instead of: “You never spend time with me.”
Try saying: “I need more quality time and intimacy in our relationship.”
The separation technique and nonviolent framing are both strategies that help us gain a clearer view of situations, leading to better solutions. When we know what we’re looking for and know what we need, it’s a lot easier to forge a clear path forward. Because in the end, knowing what you don’t know is as important as knowing what you know.
