9 texts from Earth so real you'll laugh.

Earth just can't quit us.

You know that moment when you KNOW you should break up with that person you're dating, but you just can't seem to let go?

Imagine how Earth feels. About humans.

Needless to say, there are a bunch of red flags we humans are sending that would make any friend of Earth say, "Earth, I think they're just not that into you."


Every relationship has ups and downs. Even our relationship with our own planet. You've read articles and you've watched documentaries, but we all know the truth comes out strongest in ... text messages.

1. Earth has thing for bad boys.

2. Mixed signals.

Tomato, tomahto — pattern, anomaly — potato, potahto? Let's call the whole thing off.

3. Ghosting.

4. Fear of commitment.


It's like, "I'll look at the rainbow, but don't make me conserve too much water, OK?"

5. Low standards!

6. Burn me once, shame on you...

...burn me twice, shame on Earth?

7. Lack of communication.

Not the text bubble thingeeeee!!!!

8. Lack of boundaries.

9. The final burn.

"What's love got to do with it?" — Earth/Tina Turner

Burn!

The state of Earth-human relations is tough.

Global carbon dioxide levels are the highest they've been in 3 million years, and some climate scientists are saying that global warming has "supercharged" El Niño, making the winter of 2016 a warm and extra weird one. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Things are bad. But it's not too late to make things better.

One "text" at a time.


Heroes

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According to Fortune, last year, more men named Jeffrey and Michael became CEOs of America's top companies than women. A whopping total of one woman became a CEO, while two men named Jeffrey took the title, and two men named Michael moved into the C-suite as well.

The "New CEO Report" for 2018, which looks at new CEOS for the 250 largest S&P 500 companies, found that 23 people were appointed to the position of CEO. Only one of those 23 people was a woman. Michelle Gass, the new CEO of Kohl's, was the lone female on the list.

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There can be gray area in some topics, but some phrases being published by the media regarding sexual predation are not gray and need to be nixed completely—not only because they dilute the severity of the crime, but because they are simply inaccurate by definition.

One such phrase is "non-consensual sex with a minor." First of all, non-consensual sex is "rape" no matter who is involved. Second of all, most minors legally cannot consent to sex (the age of consent in the U.S. ranges by state from 16 to 18), so sex with a minor is almost always non-consensual by definition. Call it what it is—child rape or statutory rape, depending on circumstances—not "non-consensual sex."

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