31 celebrities who smashed the stigma surrounding mental illness in 2016.

“Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.”

It may not seem like that big of a deal when a celebrity speaks up about their experiences with mental illness. But it is.

Throughout 2016, dozens of actors, authors, artists, and athletes — trailblazers we’re used to seeing smiling on red carpets or snagging gold medals on TV — shared the personal battles they’ve faced behind closed doors. It was a groundbreaking year.

“It levels the playing field,” Aaron Harvey says of the many public figures who chose to speak up. Harvey is the founder of Intrusive Thoughts, a group set on humanizing those living with mental illness. “Suddenly, you realize the same struggles that you have might be the same struggles that someone you really idolize have. And that [makes it] OK.”


The stigma surrounding mental illness is taking lives. Many millions of people living with conditions like depression and anxiety are shamed into believing there’s something inherently wrong with them — that they’re weak, for instance, or even dangerous to others. They suffer in silence because of it.

When a person with a platform becomes a face others can relate to, it becomes a little bit easier for someone else to follow in their footsteps, talk to someone, and get the help they need. Speaking up can save a life.

Here are 31 celebrities who spoke out in 2016 — some of them for the first time — about their experiences living with a mental illness:

1. Actress Kristen Bell wrote about why you can’t trust all of your thoughts when you’re battling depression.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

“For me, depression is not sadness. It’s not having a bad day and needing a hug. It gave me a complete and utter sense of isolation and loneliness. Its debilitation was all-consuming, and it shut down my mental circuit board. I felt worthless, like I had nothing to offer, like I was a failure. Now, after seeking help, I can see that those thoughts, of course, couldn’t have been more wrong.” — Kristen Bell, on living with depression

2. Singer Selena Gomez reminded us that you never really know what’s going on in someone else’s head.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

“I had to stop. ‘Cause I had everything, and I was absolutely broken inside. And I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down, but I kept it too much together, to where I let myself down. I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram, I want to see what’s in here. [puts hand on heart] I’m not trying to get validation, nor do I need it anymore. … If you are broken, you don’t have to stay broken.— Selena Gomez, on living with anxiety and depression

3. Musical artist Kid Cudi got candid about the limitations that living with a mental illness put on his own life.

Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images.

“My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I can’t make new friends because of it. I don’t trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me?” — Kid Cudi, on living with anxiety and depression

4. Actor Wentworth Miller opened up about becoming the butt of a body-shaming joke amid his struggle to survive.

Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images.

“Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without. Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist.” — Wentworth Miller, on living with depression

5. Actress Hayden Panettiere shared with fans that they might be seeing less of her because, first and foremost, she needed to prioritize getting well.

Photo by Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images.

“The postpartum depression I have been experiencing has impacted every aspect of my life. Rather than stay stuck due to unhealthy coping mechanisms, I have chosen to take time to reflect holistically on my health and life. Wish me luck!” — Hayden Panettiere, on living with postpartum depression

6. Singer Zayn Malik penned an essay on why he had to cancel performances due to severe anxiety.

Photo by Willy Sanjuan/Invision/AP.

“The thing is, I love performing. I love the buzz. I don’t want to do any other job. That’s why my anxiety is so upsetting and difficult to explain. It’s this thing that swells up and blocks out your rational thought processes. Even when you know you want to do something, know that it will be good for you, that you’ll enjoy it when you’re doing it, the anxiety is telling you a different story. It’s a constant battle within yourself.” — Zayn Malik, on living with anxiety

7. Artist Lady Gaga revealed a secret about her own battles at an event benefitting young homeless teens in New York.

Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images.

“My own trauma in my life has helped me to understand the trauma of others. I told the kids today that I suffer from a mental illness. I suffer from PTSD. I’ve never told that to anyone before, so here we are.” — Lady Gaga, on living with post-traumatic stress disorder

8. NFL wide receiver Brandon Marshall explained why organizing with one another — not hiding away — is crucial for those living with a mental illness.

Photo by Julio Cortez/AP.

“I thought, ‘How many others are out there suffering?’ I tell people all the time, you know, where we’re at in [the mental health] community is where the cancer and HIV community was 20, 25 years ago. So we have to galvanize this community.” — Brandon Marshall, on living with borderline personality disorder

9. Actress Rachel Bloom showed us why we shouldn’t let stereotypes about medication dictate whether we should get the proper help we need.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for The Critics’ Choice Awards.

“I had gone to therapists, but for the first time I sought out a psychiatrist. In his office I finally felt safe. I told him everything. Each session improved my life. He diagnosed me with low-grade depression and put me on a small amount of Prozac. There’s a stereotype (I had believed) that antidepressants numb you out; that didn’t happen to me.” — Rachel Bloom, on living with depression

10. Musical artist Justin Vernon of Bon Iver got real about what a panic attack can actually feel like.

Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images.

“It was like: ‘Oh my god, my chest is caving in, what the f**k is going on?’ I don’t like talking about it, but I feel it’s important to talk about it, so that other people who experience it don’t feel it’s just happening to them.” — Justin Vernon, on living with panic attacks and depression

11. Singer Demi Lovato pointed out the importance of consistently staying on top of your health for the long haul.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

“It’s not something where you see a therapist once or you see your psychiatrist once, it’s something you maintain to make sure that you want to live with mental illness. You have to take care of yourself.” — Demi Lovato, on living with bipolar disorder

12. Actress Lena Dunham opened up about how anxiety affects her day-to-day routines.

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images.

“I’ve always been anxious, but I haven’t been the kind of anxious that makes you run 10 miles a day and make a lot of calls on your BlackBerry. I’m the kind of anxious that makes you like, ‘I’m not going to be able to come out tonight, tomorrow night, or maybe for the next 67 nights.’” — Lena Dunham, on living with anxiety

13. NFL guard Brandon Brooks discussed the difference between game-day jitters and the type of anxiety he experiences.

Photo by Greg Trott/AP.

“I wanted to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Basically, I found out recently that I have an anxiety condition. What I mean by anxiety condition [is] not nervousness or fear of the game. … I have, like, an obsession with the game. It’s an unhealthy obsession right now and I’m working with team doctors to get everything straightened out and getting the help that I need and things like that.” — Brandon Brooks, on living with anxiety

14. Actress Evan Rachel Wood spoke out about how our world’s tendency to overlook or dismiss certain groups can complicate a person’s mental health.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

“For so long, I was ashamed. You’re dealing with the shame that the world has imposed upon you, and then on top of that, the shame of identifying that way. You’re totally looked down upon in and out of the LGBT community. A good way to combat that and the stereotypes is to be vocal.” — Evan Rachel Wood, on living with depression and coming out as bisexual

15. Actress Cara Delevingne got real about her early struggles living with a sense of hopelessness.

Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images.

“I’m very good at repressing emotion and seeming fine. As a kid I felt like I had to be good and I had to be strong because my mum wasn’t. So, when it got to being a teenager and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school — for my parents, not for me — I had a mental breakdown. I was suicidal. I couldn’t deal with it any more. I realized how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die.” — Cara Delevingne, on living with depression

16. Comedian Patton Oswalt laid out the difference between living with depression and surviving the devastation of losing a loved one.

Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP.

“Depression is more seductive. Its tool is: ‘Wouldn’t it be way more comfortable to stay inside and not deal with people?’ Grief is an attack on life. It’s not a seducer. It’s an ambush or worse. It stands right out there and says: ‘The minute you try something, I’m waiting for you.’” — Patton Oswalt, on living with depression and the grief brought on by his wife’s death

17. Singer Kesha opened up about what led her to a rehab program focused on treating eating disorders.

Photo by Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images.

“I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible and, to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn’t giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong.” — Kesha, on living with an eating disorder

18. Author John Green wrote about the dangers of romanticizing mental illness.

Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images for Allied-THA.

“Mental illness is stigmatized, but it is also romanticized. If you google the phrase ‘all artists are,’ the first suggestion is ‘mad.’ We hear that genius is next to insanity. … Of course, there are kernels of truth here: Many artists and storytellers do live with mental illness. But many don’t. And what I want to say today, I guess, is that you can be sane and be an artist, and also that if you are sick, getting help  —  although it is hard and exhausting and inexcusably difficult to access  —  will not make you less of an artist.” — John Green, on living with depression

19. Musical artist Halsley discussed her attempt at suicide as a teenager.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

“I had tried to kill myself. I was an adolescent; I didn’t know what I was doing. Because I was 17, I was still in a children’s ward. Which was terrifying. I was in there with 9-year-olds who had tried to kill themselves.” — Halsley, on living with bipolar disorder, and once staying in a psychiatric hospital

20. Prince Harry addressed the problem with assuming people who seemingly have their lives in order aren’t struggling with an invisible issue.

Photo by Chris Jackson – Pool/Getty Images.

You know, I really regret not ever talking about it. … A lot of people think if you’ve got a job, if you’ve got financial security, if you’ve got a family, you’ve got a house, all that sort of stuff — everyone seems to think that is all you need and you are absolutely fine to deal with stuff.” — Prince Harry, on living with grief after his mother’s death

21. Actress Rowan Blanchard explained why living with a mental illness can be a learning opportunity.

Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images for WE Day.

I learned this year that happiness and sadness are not mutually exclusive. They can exist within me at the same time in the same moment. While also becoming more forgiving of myself and my emotions, I became more forgiving of others, specifically other teenagers.” — Rowan Blanchard, on living with depression

22. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps spoke candidly about why even gold medals couldn’t truly make him happy.

Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images.

“I went in with no self-confidence, no self-love. I think the biggest thing was, I thought of myself as just a swimmer, and nobody else. … I was lost, pushing a lot people out of my life — people that I wanted and needed in my life. I was running and escaping from whatever it was I was running from.” — Michael Phelps, on living with mental illness

23. Actress Jenifer Lewis talked about how the AIDS epidemic led her to realize she needed help.

Photo by Jean Baptiste LaCroix/AFP/Getty Images.

“Sometimes I suspected that something was not quite right. Especially during the time when the AIDS epidemic was at its height and my grief was pretty much out of control. No one was talking about bipolar disorder and mental illness back then. I had lost so many friends and loved ones. My spiral into depression was overwhelming; I could not function. That’s when I couldn’t ignore the fact that something was wrong anymore.” — Jenifer Lewis, on living with bipolar disorder

24. Singer Adele highlighted why not each form of mental illness manifests the same way in every person.

Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP.

“My knowledge of postpartum [depression] — or post-natal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. … It can come in many different forms.” — Adele, on living with postpartum depression

25. Actor Jared Padalecki launched a new “I Am Enough” campaign, selling shirts to support initiatives that fight depression and self-harm.

Photo by Chris Frawley/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. via Getty Images.

“I am enough. And you are enough. … I know I can keep fighting and I know that I’m trying to love myself, but sometimes you feel like you’re not enough. So this message is helping me kind of understand that I am enough — just the way I was made.” — Jared Padalecki, on living with depression

26. Actress Amanda Seyfried nailed why we should be treating mental illness just as seriously as any other disease or condition.

Photo by Lintao Zhang/Getty Images for cle de peau BEAUTE.

“I’m on [antidepressant] Lexapro, and I’ll never get off of it. I’ve been on it since I was 19, so 11 years. I’m on the lowest dose. I don’t see the point of getting off of it. Whether it’s placebo or not, I don’t want to risk it. And what are you fighting against? Just the stigma of using a tool? A mental illness is a thing that people cast in a different category [from other illnesses], but I don’t think it is. It should be taken as seriously as anything else.” — Amanda Seyfried, on living with anxiety and depression

27. Musical artist Keke Palmer opened up about how her own mental illness postponed the release of a new album.

Photo by Kimberly White/Getty Images for Glamour.

“I stopped trying all together because I allowed people to make me believe that being an artist meant having big budget music videos and big record producers backing you. When in reality, all being an artist means is to be fearless in your creative pursuits. My anxiety, caused by the habit of unconsciously holding my breath, coupled with the stress of my personal life at that time created a lot of hard years of depression for me.” — Keke Palmer, on living with anxiety

28. Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones said she’s in a good place right now, thanks to identifying her struggle and finding the help that was right for her.

Photo by Justin Tallis/AFP/Getty Images.

“Finding out that it was called something was the best thing that ever happened to me! The fact that there was a name for my emotions and that a professional could talk me through my symptoms was very liberating. There are amazing highs and very low lows. My goal is to be consistently in the middle. I’m in a very good place right now.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones, on living with bipolar disorder

29. Actor Devon Murray used World Mental Health Day to share his own ups and downs with fans on Twitter.

Photo by Scott Gries/Getty Images.

“I’ve been battling depression in silence for ten years and only recently spoke about it and [it] has made a huge difference. I had suicidal thoughts this year and that was the kick up the arse that I needed! Open up, talk to people. If you suspect a friend or family member is suffering in silence [reach out] to them. Let them know you care.” — Devon Murray, on living with depression

30. Musical artist Jade Thirlwall discussed a dark time in her life that looked picture-perfect from afar.

Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images for Sony Pictures.

“My periods stopped and things were getting out of control, but I don’t think I really cared about what was happening to me. I felt so depressed at the time that I just wanted to waste away and disappear. … It should have been a really happy time — my career was successful, ‘Black Magic’ was doing well, and we were traveling and performing. On the surface I was happy, but inside I felt broken.” — Jade Thirlwall, on battling anorexia

31. Musician Ellie Goulding explained how her panic attacks often came at the worst possible times.

Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images.

“I was skeptical [of going to therapy] at first, because I’d never had therapy, but not being able to leave the house was so debilitating. And this was when my career was really taking off. My surroundings would trigger a panic attack, so I couldn’t go to the studio unless I was lying down in the car with a pillow over my face. I used to beat myself up about it.” — Ellie Goulding, on living with anxiety and facing panic attacks

Many celebrities have helped bring the conversation around mental health into the mainstream. But it’s on us to make the real change happen.

“While it’s amazing to have celebrities out there blazing trails and introducing a radical new transparency,” Harvey notes, “the most important thing is that individual sufferers communicate with their everyday connections. If we really want to make an impact on stigma, it can’t just be a headline.”

If you need help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255). If you want to learn more about mental illness, visit the National Alliance on Mental Health.

  • Boomer dad plays song to comfort his daughter going through divorce and it’s everything
    Some dads just get it.

    There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud. The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma, and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

    But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents of course have a lot of love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort when their kid suffers as any good parent would. Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

    His solution was unexpected and perfect

    Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

    “My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “…boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix.”

    In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad is faced toward the window describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever. They go back and forth a little bit, but it’s clear that her dad just wants to sit with her in the moment, be a little silly, and provide her with some comfort.

    The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that a lot of words aren’t always necessary.

    The internet fell completely in love

    “I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

    Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

    Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best.”

    Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner.

    @jac.rose8

    Replying to @NatCat1738 divorcetok divorcesucks divorcesupport divorcesupportforwomen divorcesupportsquad supportivedad supportivemom disabilitytiktok

    ♬ original sound – Jacqueline

    Great parents exist in every generation

    It can be easy to sometimes focus a little too much on the generational differences between boomers and everyone else, but really, it goes to show that great parents (and great people) exist in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don’t need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Florida teacher says she’s quitting her job because of school’s ‘course recovery’ shortcut
    Photo credit: @toriefowler/TikTok, used with permissionFlorida Teacher Torie Fowler explaining why course recovery is used to play the system.
    ,

    Florida teacher says she’s quitting her job because of school’s ‘course recovery’ shortcut

    She explained how many students use course recovery to play the system.

    There are plenty of reasons teachers across the country have listed for why they are leaving their jobs. But whether it’s burnout or battling against artificial intelligence, there’s one common denominator: the classroom is, by and large, no longer the haven of learning it once was.

    One teacher recently gave a prime example of this when she explained “course recovery,” and why that alone has led to her quitting.

    What is course recovery?

    In a now-viral Tiktok clip, Torie Fowler, an English teacher in Florida, shared that course recovery was originally intended to help struggling students stay on track for passing a class. Essentially it works by offering a semi-condensed make-up curriculum, primarily via online modules, rather than forcing students to repeat the full semester.

    However, as Fowler explained, things have gone too far.

    @toriefowler

    Do you know what course recovery is? I’m positive it’s a public school thing, but what exactly is the child learning from this concept? #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #teaching #teacher #publicschool

    ♬ original sound – Torie Fowler

    For instance, one of her seniors who earned an 18 percent in her class (which is already bonkers considering the student didn’t ever show up to class, apparently) was assigned course recovery. Somehow, this student was able to complete the entire nine weeks of recovery assignments in a single day, magically passing the class with a 75.

    “What are we doing?” Fowler said at the end of her clip.

    Granted, course recovery does have its uses. In an interview with Today, Fowler noted that students burdened with illness, family instability, or learning challenges can greatly benefit from it. Still, the students who know how to play the system use it as an easy workaround, forfeiting the opportunity to actually learn. And so far, the system encourages that kind of behavior.

    “We are teaching them that there are no consequences for their actions,” she said. “It’s becoming more about getting them through and walking across the stage than actual learning.”

    @toriefowler

    You can read the full article at the link in my bio, but in terms of public education, do you agree? #teachersoftiktok #teacher #teacherlife

    ♬ Self Aware – Temper City

    Teachers across the country share the same concern

    Fowler is far from the only educator experiencing this frustration. Down in the comments, many fellow teachers sounded off.

    “We have the same here in RI. It’s so unfair to the teachers, admins and other students.”

    “I’ll do you one better: in my district a student who fails a class can do course recovery and change the whole grade for that class. That F becomes an A on the transcript as fast as the student can find answers to everything online, and they can do that in a day.”

    “Credit recovery is a joke. I had a student fail on purpose bc CR was easier. If they can complete an entire semester of Algebra in 3 days (I’ve seen it), they aren’t learning the content. Why are we allowing this?!?”

    Fowler’s video is just one of many worrying examples of how modern schools are prioritizing graduation rates over meaningful education. Many teachers say they entered the profession to help students grow, think critically, and build real skills for the future. When that mission starts feeling impossible, it’s no surprise that so many educators are deciding they can no longer stay.

    @toriefowler

    In all my feels as I realize my time in this room is coming to an end this month. Some of it was more than I could dream of, while the reality of a system we can’t change is more than I want to carry. #publicschool #teacher #teachersoftiktok #teachersbelike #teacherlife

    ♬ original sound – Breezee Talk – Breezee Talk

    However, as Fowler put it, it’s important to talk about what’s not working, because with enough conversation, “change can begin.”

  • Millennials struggling to buy a home want ‘out of touch’ Boomer parents to get their reality
    Photo credit: Images via Canva/Photodjo, Andy Dean PhotographyMillennials are frustrated with their Boomers parents about real estate.

    Millennials trying to buy homes in today’s economy are up against a rock and a hard place. Unlike for their Boomer parents, the dream of buying a home continues to feel further away.

    According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), Millennials “continue to be fenced out of homeownership.” The organization reported that in 2025, the average age of first-time homeownership rose to 40 years old, up from 38 just the year before, with the share of first-time buyers falling to a record low of 21%. “The historically low share of first-time buyers underscores the real-world consequences of a housing market starved for affordable inventory,” said Jessica Lautz, NAR deputy chief economist and vice president of research.

    Millennials are venting on Reddit

    Millennials are airing their frustrations amongst each other in the Reddit thread r/Millennials, sharing their stories and experiences with their Boomer parents, with many calling Boomers “out of touch.”

    One Millennial wrote, “This topic is like hitting a dead horse, but I just needed to rant. Back story, I work out at a gym with people who are our parents age, and of the boomer generation. I overheard them saying, ‘we bought our first home for $65,000. I’m sure kids these days are only paying $125,000 for that same house’. When they said that, I burst out laughing. How are they so out of touch? It drives me nuts.”

    Another Millennial replied, “Willful ignorance. Takes four seconds to go on Zillow and find out that’s bullsh*t .”

    And another shared, “I’m not kidding… when I showed my dad actual data on itemized COL inflation, he said that ‘the data just says that but that doesn’t mean it’s real’…. This is a guy that I would normally consider smart and with it. When it comes to these kinds of topics of societal degradation, he can’t accept it. He is willfully ignorant to things being worse now for me than they were for him at my age.”

    The Zillow experiment that actually worked

    Others explained how they attempted to explain to their Boomer parents how expensive homes currently are. Another shared, “Last Christmas, the sibs and I collectively managed to remember all the addresses we had lived in in our childhoods and Zillowed all of them to show our parents. All are still standing. All were built in the 70s. All are rural or suburban/small towns. Parents were astounded at what these 50+ year houses are going for today, especially compared to what they paid for them 30-40 years ago.”

    Millennials added their conversations with parents who got defensive. One wrote, “I legit just had this same conversation! They say ‘complain when it’s 14% interest’ excuse me, your house was 60k and dad was making 40, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. That fancy 250k house is now like 600k…get a grip, average house is 438k.”

    Another shared, “My dad still gives me a hard time about renting, constantly tells me how I should invest in a house. I sat him down one day and opened up a mortgage calculator, showed him how with the current interest rates it just wasn’t gonna happen- he seemed to get it. For a little bit anyways haha. I saw him last month and he told me again how rent is wasted money yadda yadda.”

    How to talk to your Boomer parents about housing

    Millennials can have healthy and productive conversations with their Boomer parents when discussions about buying a home become tense or uncomfortable, Aly Bullock, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Paired, tells Upworthy.

    Here are three things Millennials can say to their parents during these tough talks:

    Phrase #1: “I understand that we have different views on this, and that’s okay with me.”

    Bullock explains, “This acknowledges that you understand their POV and you are still willing to stick with your own opinion. It is a very gentle way of setting a boundary and letting them know you are comfortable having different opinions.”

    Phrase #2: “I would love to hear you out, and my request is that in return you respect my right to make a personal decision even if it does not align with what you’ve shared.”

    “Even when their kids are grown, parents still love the chance to influence their children,” says Bullock. “This phrase lets your parents know that you would love to hear their opinion, you welcome it, AND reminds them gently that you are grown and they should offer you similar respect.”

    Phrase #3: “This conversation seems to keep causing tension between us, and I’d rather focus on something we have in common right now. Can we set it aside for a bit?”

    According to Bullock, “This acknowledges the tension without placing blame. It gives the adult child an opportunity to stop the conversation before it deteriorates further, while emphasizing the positive pieces of the relationship.”

    Finally, she notes that it may take placing boundaries around these conversations. “Remember that you don’t have to tell your parents everything. Some things are better left unsaid,” says Bullock. “The truth is that parents change as they age and may or may not be able to cope well with generational differences or unmet expectations. Try to have compassion for them as you decide which things to keep to yourself in order to protect your own mental health.”

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

  • Dad discovers his son has pinworms and pediatrician hits him with even worse news
    Dad discovers child has pinworms and it's freaking people out

    If you’re a parent you’re likely in one of two categories: parents who have never heard of pinworms or parents who shuddered at the headline. Parents are not really given any sort of warning for all of the eyebrow raising situations that occur in childhood and one dad has found out that there was a lot left out of that non-existent parenting handbook. If you thought lice was bad, well, frankly, you have no idea.

    Justin, a dad that runs the TikTok page parentingcheerleader took to social media to tell the world of the current nightmare fuel parenting situation he was experiencing. He’s also doing parents on social media a solid by giving them a heads up on the disturbing secret plaguing the parenting world: pinworms.

    So what exactly are pinworms?

    The viral video starts out with no trigger warning before he says though clenched teeth, “my son has worms in his anus.” Yeah, you read that right. It’s a thing. A slightly terrifying but totally normal thing.

     

    These don’t look so bad until you realize where they live. By DPDx, PHIL – Public Domain

    About 20% of kids will get pinworms at some point. They can affect anyone, but adults rarely get them because they generally have better hygiene habits and awareness about putting their hands in their mouth after touching surfaces. (You usually get a pinworm infection by accidentally swallowing the eggs. Yeah… sorry for that) The first signs will be an itchy butthole, trouble sleeping, and irritability or loss of appetite.

    If you’re a glutton for punishment, read on! Pinworms are hard to diagnose, for obvious reasons. They’re very small and hard to see, plus they like to live in a very sensitive, hard to reach area. But they are visible to the naked eye, so diagnosis sometimes involves quite literally looking at a child’s butt with a flashlight. Sometimes doctors will use tape to see if they can collect eggs from the area, which can be seen under a microscope.

    No word from Justin on how he figured out that his kid had pinworms, but that’s probably for the best.

    “No one tells you about this stuff when you’re thinking about being a parent but apparently it’s like super normal for a child to just have worms in his booty hole,” a flustered, baffled Justin says. In the video, he’s on his way to pick up medicine for his kid while trying to somehow wrap his head around the reality of the situation.

    Then a pediatrician made it worse

    Dr. Cerissa Key, a pediatrician, chimed in on Justin’s disturbing revelation and assured him and every parent watching that pinworms are a common thing that happens in young children.

    But she also dropped some info that others including Justin may not have been ready to hear.

    “Justin, sir. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But if your son has worms in his booty hole, sir, politely and respectfully, you also have worms in your booty hole,” Key reveals.

    Key goes on to explain that kids are “disgusting” and don’t wash their hands well so pinworms spread easily if a child at school or daycare has them. She advises that parents stock up on the chalky banana flavored medication that clears them up and to wash everything on hot while being sure to vacuum your floors well. Luckily, there are good over-the-cofteoaboutunter options for suffering families, as well as stronger prescription methods available. Typically, medication can get rid of the pinworm infection pretty quickly.

    Parents on the internet did not take this well

    People in the comment section of both videos were horrified that this was an actual thing while others commiserated with the stressed dad.

    “I have no kids and now I’m paranoid I have pinworms with no symptoms,” one person writes.

    “I’ve raised 4 kids and never had this happen. Tomorrow this will be my entry on my gratitude journal,” a mom confesses.

    “Do I have kids? No…Do I even work around kids? Also no…do I still have the urge to take this medicine just in case anyways? 100000%,” someone says.

    Several people were forced to question if they even wanted kids anymore knowing there’s a 20% chance they may have to deal with this at some point in the future.

    Not everyone was stressed, some were thankful for the information. “Thank you! We haven’t experienced pinworms yet, but super informative and helps to make parenting normalized,” another commenter writes.

    Key suggests that if your child has pinworms that the entire family should take a dose of the medication two weeks apart to make sure any left over newly hatched eggs are also killed. Why so thorough? Well, it’s estimated that one pinworm (or threadworm) can lay up to 16,000 eggs.

    And on that note…

    While you may not have been warned about pinworms, no one ever said parenting would be glamorous. It just seems people weren’t prepared for how unglamorous it could get.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.
    https://youtu.be/4Al1UorzYZE?feature=shared A man speaks to a judge in a courtroom.
    ,

    Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.

    “Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case.” Judge Frank Caprio after hearing why a man ran a red light to reach his pregnant wife.

    When Jean Lucardi appeared before Judge Frank Caprio on “Caught In Providence,” he was facing a fine for running a red light. The case started with the kind of light-hearted banter that makes Caprio’s courtroom famous. The judge joked about Lucardi’s impressive beard, asking why he grew it.

    “Because I’m bald,” Lucardi said. “So, making sense with my face.”

    Caprio teased that maybe the sun’s glare on his bald head caused him to miss the light. But the mood shifted completely when Lucardi explained what actually happened.

    Judge Frank Caprio, court, compassion, pregnancy loss, justice
    A pregnant woman makes a phone call. Photo credit: Canva

    Lucardi worked as a Lyft driver to support his family. The day he ran the red light, his pregnant wife called him while he was stopped at a signal. She was bleeding. She was having a miscarriage. This was their fifth loss.

    “When she called me, she told me she was bleeding and she was pregnant at the time, and I shut down the app, and I was trying to rush to go be with her because she was by herself in the house,” Lucardi explained. He thought he was catching a yellow light but realized later it had already turned red. His wife eventually recovered, but they lost their baby that day.

    The courtroom went quiet.

    “Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case,” Caprio said. He asked about Lucardi’s family, and Lucardi shared that it had been a difficult time. He’d been taking steps to help his wife heal from the trauma of multiple pregnancy losses.

    “Our thoughts are with you and your family. Good luck to you. The case is dismissed,” Caprio told him.

    The episode, titled “The Pain of Losing a Child,” captured something that doesn’t always show up in courtrooms: the ability to see the human being behind the violation. This wasn’t about letting someone off the hook for breaking a rule. It was about recognizing that sometimes life puts people in impossible situations where following every rule to the letter stops making sense.

    Caprio has built a reputation for this kind of compassion. In another episode called “Homeless and Hungry,” he met a homeless autistic woman whose car had been booted with ten violations. She’d just secured a job and was living in her car. She asked for a lenient payment plan. Instead, Caprio covered $300 of her $400 fine through the Filomena Fund and gave her a month to pay the remaining $100. When he learned she was eating only one meal a day, he made sure she left the court with enough money to buy food.

    These moments show what’s possible when the justice system makes room for understanding alongside enforcement. Lucardi left that courtroom without a fine, but probably with something more valuable: the knowledge that someone in a position of power had listened to his story and responded with humanity instead of just procedure.

  • ‘Why women leave’: Woman who ‘does everything’ shares why she left her husband who did nothing
    Photo credit: via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.

    There are a few prominent reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

    Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. In 2022, Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

    Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, and, among couples with children, women are often the default parent. In short, many women are pulling double or triple duty for their households.

    One woman’s day says it all

    In 2023, a TikToker with two children (now @littleoldme_myversion, but formerly @thesoontobeexwife) shared why she decided to leave her husband of two decades and her story recounts a common theme: She did all the work and her husband did little but complain.

    The video, entitled “Why women leave,” has received over 2 million views.

    @littleoldme_myversion

    Y’all I laughed when I realized he truly does treat me better now then when he was trying to be in a marriage with me. How is this better?? How did I ever think before was ok?? #toxicrelationship #divorce #mentalloadofmotherhood #divorcetok #divorceisanoption #chooseyou #mentalhealth #mentalload #fyp #mentalload #emotionallabor

    ♬ labour – Paris Paloma

    “So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do,” she starts the video. “Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack, make the snack. Kids want to play outside, we play outside.”

    Her husband then comes home after attending a volunteer program, which she didn’t want him to join, and the self-centeredness begins. “So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet,” she says in the video.

    She then explains how the last time he cooked, which was a rare event, he nearly punched a hole in the wall because he forgot an ingredient. Their previous home had multiple holes in the walls. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and host of the Power of Different podcast, says that when men punch walls, it’s a sign that they haven’t “learned to deal with anger in a reasonable way.”

    “Anyway, finally one kid is hungry,” the TikToker continues. “So, I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now, I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”

    Then her husband says he’s not doing the dishes because he didn’t eat any pancakes. “Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does the dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing: That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”

    She then listed all of the household duties she handles.

    “I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe,” she says.

    The comments poured in from everywhere

    The video received over 8,700 comments and most of them were words of support for the TikToker who would go on to file for divorce from her husband.

    “The amount of women I’ve heard say that their male partners are only teaching how to be completely independent of them, theirs going to be so many lonely men out there,” one commenter wrote. “I was married to someone just like this for over 35 years. You will be so happy when you get away from him,” another said.

    “The way you will no longer be walking on eggshells in your own home is an amazing feeling. You got this!” one more added.

    @littleoldme_myversion

    If I ever date a man again they have to like Taylor, Chappell and alllllll the girly pop #taylorswift #chappellroan #swifttok #swiftie #pop #girlypop @Taylor Swift @Taylor Nation @chappell roan

    ♬ original sound – Little Old Me

    Two years later, here is where she is now

    Two years on, our TikToker is doing well. Her page is dedicated to “single motherhood,” “life in [my] 40s,” and, of course, “loads of Taylor Swift [and] some books.” In a recent TikTok video, she shares footage of a show where people of all ages and stages are dancing to a cover of Taylor Swift’s “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart” with text overlay that reads, “The only kind of men I will accept in life, those that enthusiastically sing Taylor Swift and Chappell Roan.” Honestly, that’s the standard and more power to her.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support
    Photo credit: CanvaPostpartum depression requires various kinds of support.

    First-time motherhood can feel overwhelming in every way. Bringing a human into the world that you are responsible for and fall madly in love with is life-changing, to say the least. But when you add a layer of postpartum depression (PPD) onto that overwhelm, it can all feel like way too much to handle.

    A mom shared texts her mother-in-law sent her when she was struggling with PPD with her firstborn, and people are loving them. The post from @mamaesterm provides a great example of what support looks like.

    First, it’s important to note that one of the most important ways to support someone going through PPD is to encourage and help them seek professional help. Treatments are available.

    Each text has a specific element that makes it particularly effective:

    ‘Can I come by and help tidy up while you take a nap with the baby?’

    This message acknowledges that Mom needs sleep and also needs a clean home. Often, those needs are not compatible in the early weeks and months of motherhood. People tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but if you have a high-needs baby, nap time is often the only time you have to get things done. People will also say the state of your house doesn’t matter, but for many, if not most, it’s easier to manage mental health when the home is under control.

    So, having someone ask if they can come and help with the house while Mom naps with the baby hits both needs simultaneously.

    mom, motherhood, newborn, postpartum depression
    Helping with the house while Mom sleeps can be a huge help.

    ‘You’re doing such a great job, I know it’s hard sometimes. [heart emoji]

    Encouragement is so important for new parents. It’s common to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with a new baby, while desperately wanting to not screw it up. And when you’re struggling with PPD, the guilt over feeling unable to care for your child the way you want to makes all of that worse. Being told you’re doing a good job feels like a refreshing drink of water.

    ‘Look how sweet she is she’s the cutest little thing, I’m obsessed with the precious photo editing app you told me about.’ [baby photo]

    When you’re wrapped up in all the feelings, hormones, and overwhelm of new motherhood with PPD piled on top of it, it’s easy to lose perspective. Seeing reality through a loved one’s eyes can sometimes help ease some of the distorted thinking.

    The beauty in this message is there’s no shame or guilt attached to it. Some people might say something like, “Why are you sad? You have a beautiful, healthy baby!” which often just leads the mom to feeling guilty about feelings she can’t control. This text makes no judgments, and, in fact, reminds the mom of something positive she has done for her family.

    Overwhelmed mother next to baby’s crib.

    ‘Pete mentioned it was a long night with baby girl. I’m doing a Starbucks run and will drop off breakfast for you on the porch.’

    This one might just be the best. Asking if someone wants help is great. But sometimes just doing the thing without asking, especially if it’s not intrusive in any way, is the way to go. Saying, “I’m heading out for food. I’m going to grab you some and drop it on your porch,” removes any obligation from the equation. No decision had to be made. No pressure to interact or entertain, which can be a big load off. And no guilt over the state of the house or your lack of a shower, which is huge.

    As one commenter wrote, “Starbucks left on the porch…that’s someone who just wants to love and help without intruding. She’s a gem, keep her.”

    What are some common signs of PPD?

    Hormonal fluctuations after birth can cause a lot of emotional ups and downs. What makes postpartum depression different from the “baby blues” is the intensity and severity of the downs.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can be signs you might be struggling with PPD:

    • Feeling sad, worthless, hopeless, or guilty
    • Worrying excessively or feeling on edge
    • Loss of interest in hobbies or things you usually enjoy
    • Changes in appetite or not eating
    • Loss of energy and motivation
    • Trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all the time
    • Crying for no reason or excessively
    • Difficulty thinking or focusing
    • Lack of interest in your baby or feeling anxious around your baby

    If you’ve recently given birth and these symptoms sound familiar, definitely have a conversation about what you’re feeling with your doctor. And if you know someone who is struggling postpartum, support is crucial. In addition to helping them find professional help, providing encouragement and practical help, especially without having to be asked, can be invaluable.

  • Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation
    Photo credit: Instagram/@kendraalley [with permission]Kendra Alley's sons give pitch presentation for family vacation pick.
    ,

    Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation

    “You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    Building confidence isn’t easy at any age, but for mom Kendra Alley, she is making sure she starts the process early. By getting creative, she’s teaching her young sons about confidence.

    The married mom-of-three shared her family’s new tradition that doubles as a confidence-building technique. When each child turns 10 years old, they get to choose where the family goes on vacation.

    The caveat: they must do a pitch-presentation explaining where they want to go and why. “In our family, turning 10 means you pick the family trip. Anywhere in the world. But you have to research it … and present it to us,” she explained in an Instagram post.

    The pitch-presentation, explained

    Alley told Upworthy more details about what the presentation entails, and why she and her husband have their sons do it.

    “Whenever one of our boys turns 10, they get to choose anywhere in the world for a family trip. They have to research the destination, and present it to the family,” she shared. “We give them a simple outline to follow (where, why, things you want to do, things your want to buy, things you want to eat, etc.) We love that it teaches them budgeting, planning, public speaking, patience (they make the presentation about two months in advance, but we know their location months before that), and gratitude all wrapped into something exciting and memorable.”

    She adds, “One of my favorite parts is that they have to think about and anticipate the trip for a long time. In a world of instant gratification, there’s something really special about waiting, preparing, and building excitement as a family. I honestly think the anticipation makes the experience even sweeter for them. They don’t want to waste a second.”

    The tradition began in 2024, when their oldest son turned 10. He chose to go to Loch Lyme in New Hampshire (and drive there in an RV). And this year, her second oldest son turned 10. For his trip, he chose Hawaii.

    Her second son gives his presentation

    Alley captioned the video of her second son Loch’s presentation, “I’m so proud of him, he was so nervous. You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    “Let’s do it!” Alley encourages him, and her husband shouts, “You’ve got this, my man!”

    He stands in front of them in the family’s living room with a microphone and a presentation of slides on the TV. He is clearly nervous, and Alley says to him, “Just start by telling us why we’re here!”

    As he speaks about his dream to travel to Hawaii (while dressed in an on-theme Hawaiian shirt), he visibly becomes more secure in himself as he details things he wants to eat (like shaved ice), the top things he wants to see (“Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa which are the twin mountains that kind of look like butt cheeks”), and do (like swim with sharks), and more.

    She also told Upworthy, “This video was from our middle son’s presentation for Hawaii. My eldest’s trip was two years ago, and MUCH different. I think parents are craving meaningful experiences and traditions that bring everyone together.”

    Viewers respond

    Many parents and viewers were inspired by the Alley’s family tradition, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “Love this. As someone who teaches people public speaking and presentation skills, this is amazing. I have never thought about having my own kids develop their skills in this area.”

    “Bravo to the parents. Persuasive speaking, presentation design, research, and then he gets the experiences of travel on top of it. I love this 👏.”

    “I implore folks to MAKE YOUR KID DO SMALL PRESENTATIONS LIKE THIS AS EARLY AND OFTEN AS POSSIBLE! Thank me later! —-A former high school public speaking teacher.”

    “Love his close – end with a question and a big ask. He’s got a future in sales 👏.”

    “I told my daughter we were doing this after you told me this idea and she is pre-planning for Japan 😭🙏🏼🤣.”

    “I love someone who dresses the theme!”

    “This is the sweetest 🥹❤️.”

    “I just love this so much! Such epic parenting….from a non parent 😂.”

    “Stealing this for my future children.”

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