If you’ve ever seen pictures of a stranger’s wedding and thought, “That looks like a good time! Wish I could’ve been there,” this article is for you. And if you’re in the market to get married and worried about paying for it, you might want to pay attention as well.
Here’s the scenario: in the weeks or days leading up to their wedding, a couple finds that a handful of their guests have canceled. They’ve already purchased the meal, and arrangements have already been made for their attendance. The couple will have to eat the cost, and with weddings already averaging over $30,000, who can afford the waste?
What if there were a simple solution to that problem?
Having strangers pay to attend your wedding
Not a Wedding Crasher might be one of the most unique wedding businesses ever. The website describes the premise as “A thoughtful way to share the seats that would otherwise go empty.“
“Nearly every wedding has guest cancellations or venue minimums that need to be met. The flowers are arranged. The meals are paid for. The music still plays,” the site explains. “Not a Wedding Crasher helps couples thoughtfully invite verified guests to experience a celebration that would otherwise have empty chairs, creating connection, energy, and unforgettable memories along the way.”
People’s initial reaction to strangers paying to attend a wedding might be, “No way, that’s too weird.” But in reality, especially if your wedding is large, you likely have people on the guest list you don’t know very well anyway. (Your distant cousin’s new boyfriend, for example.) What’s adding a couple of vetted strangers to the mix if it helps cover the cost of cancellations?
Who would want to pay to go to a stranger’s wedding?
If you’re asking, “Who would do this?” you’re likely not someone who would sign up for this service. But some people love weddings, love a good party, love dressing up and dancing, and are perfectly willing to help a stranger out in exchange for the fun of it all.
In fact, the couple who founded the site, Jeff and Karina Besen, said the idea first came to them because they were looking for a unique date night. As a long-time married couple, they value going on dates—and what better date is there than attending a wedding?
“You can’t just go to a wedding, at least not morally,” Jeff told WGN News. “So we connected a few dots…maybe there’s now a way to attend a wedding intentionally.”
The Besens explained that many people who sign up as guests on their site are planning to get married themselves (and are looking for ideas for their own weddings) and work in the wedding industry (and are always working at weddings and rarely get to enjoy them as guests). Others have never been to a wedding and want to experience one, while others just love celebrating love.
(Note: Stranger-guests have to be verified by the site, and couples have to manually approve them before they can attend, so there are some guardrails in place to weed out potential weirdos.)
Are couples really using the site to fill seats?
As of this writing, 24 upcoming weddings were listed on notaweddingcrasher.com. Prices range from $25 to $150 per seat, and each listing includes details about the wedding, dress code, meal, music, and other information. Exact locations aren’t listed, only the city where the wedding will take place. The couple sends pertinent details to guests after verification and approval.
Some couples who’ve used the service have shared that having strangers at the wedding brought in fun energy. As one bride wrote, having a stranger-guest “amped up the vibe” of the event. Imagine folks who love to dance rolling in and getting the party started on the dance floor. It could change the whole atmosphere in minutes.
It’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. But for those who love a wedding and don’t mind “crashing” one, it can be a total win-win for them and the couple who “invites” them. You can check out the current wedding spots available here.
