+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
Family

15 people reveal the real reasons why they don’t plan on having children

Nobody should judge another person's reproductive choices.

child-free, reasons for kids, dinks
via Pixabay and Pixabay

A woman isn't into the idea of having kids.

A growing number of adults in the United States say that they aren’t interested in having children. A 2021 study by Pew Research found that 44% of nonparents aged 18 to 49 say that it is “not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday.” That’s a 7% increase over the 37% who said the same in 2018.

Fifty-six percent of those say they simply don’t want to have children, and the 46% who chose “some other reason” cited medical reasons, their financial situation, lack of a partner, age and state of the world as the biggest reasons they aren’t likely to have kids in the future.

A Reddit user by the name of ilovenosycats asked the online forum, “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?” and received a lot of revealing answers. Over 1,700 people responded to the question, and some of the most popular reasons contradict the idea that those who don’t want to have kids are being selfish.

Many who replied to the thread said they don’t want to have children because they don’t think they’d be good parents. Others are dealing with childhood trauma and have no interest in passing it on to their kids. Some are concerned about the condition of the world and don’t think it’s right to bring a child into such a challenging place.

Some enjoy having fewer responsibilities and a couple of extra dollars in their pockets. And who can blame them?

While it’s good to understand those who want to remain child-free, people’s reproductive choices are no one else’s business. There are many great reasons to have kids or be child-free. So, it’s probably best to celebrate each other’s differences when it comes to such a big decision.

Plus, no one should have children unless they really want them.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?”

1.

"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that." — SignificantFunny1523

Usedcellist1 added:

"This is my reason. Waiting for that 'badly enough"'to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current 'baby wave'), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily."

2.

"Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children." — DamnIGottaJustSay

3.

"This curse ends with me." — DavetheRoper

4.

"Don’t have the patience for kids." — Leoimirmir

5.

"I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason." — AllyriaCelene

6.

"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid." — Typical_Conclusion_5

7.

"Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics." — LoonaticLaskdorp

8.

"I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are." — SnooWords4513

9.

"I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.

I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.

Overall, I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self-expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way." — TheSoundofStyrofoam

10.

"Bringing someone into this world is cruel." — dziwolonk

11.

"I can barely look after myself let alone a kid." — Rude_Act_6276

12.

"Isn't 8 Billion People enough?" — Georgiculus

13.

"Responsibility is one of the things I hate most in my life. I want peace of mind. I don't want to deal with a creature that I have to take care of everything. Besides, this world isn't a good place anyway, if I had a child I wouldn't be able to live my own life trying to give him a good life. That's why I don't have children." — Corvuseums

14.

"Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)" — probably_a_possum

15.

"I can’t impregnate myself." — Nirvana_bob7

From Your Site Articles
children
Science

Astronaut shares the profound 'big lie' he realized after seeing the Earth from space

This change in perspective could change humanity.

via Rubén Moreno Montolíu/Flickr

Our home, from space.

Sixty-one years ago, Yuri Gagarin became the first human to make it into space and probably the first to experience what scientists now call the "overview effect." This change occurs when people see the world from far above and notice that it’s a place where “borders are invisible, where racial, religious and economic strife are nowhere to be seen.”

The overview effect makes man’s squabbles with one another seem incredibly petty and presents the planet as it truly is, one interconnected organism.

Keep ReadingShow less
space
Family

New study shows spanking hurts kids' mental health and is less effective at teaching lessons

Why is it wrong to hit an adult or an animal but OK to spank a child?

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

Yet another study shows that spanking isn't good for kids.

Whether to spank your child or not is one of the oldest debates among parents. Many live by the age-old wisdom that to “spare the rod” is to “spoil the child,” while others believe it’s wrong to resort to violence to punish a child when so many alternatives exist.

It also begs the question: If it's wrong to hit your spouse or pet, why is it acceptable to hit a defenseless child?

The 2021 American Family Study found that support for spanking has declined in the U.S. over the past few years. In 2015, 54% either somewhat or strongly agreed with the practice, but that number dropped to 47% in 2021. Thirty-five percent of respondents disagree with the practice and 18% neither agree nor disagree.

A new research study from the Parent and Family Research Alliance in Australia led by Professor Sophie Havighurst and Professor Daryl Higgins from Australian Catholic University makes a strong case that people should stop using corporal punishment to discipline their kids. The study “Corporal punishment of children in Australia: The evidence-based case for legislative reform” analyzed countless studies on the topic and found spanking ineffective and harmful.

The study was published to urge lawmakers to make corporal punishment in Australia illegal. Sixty-five states across the world have made corporal punishment illegal, protecting 14% of the world’s children.

The study defined corporal punishment of children as using physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to correct or control a child’s behavior.

The most startling meta-analysis published in the study found that "only 1 out of 111 statistically significant effect sizes was associated with a link between 'spanking' and a positive child outcome," while 110 were found to be associated with adverse outcomes.

The one positive outcome was in a 1972 study of children of the U.S. military living in West Germany that found those spanked showed less amphetamine and opiate use as adults.

However, the remaining 110 significant results found that spanking had adverse effects, including: “reducing trust and connection with those they are closest to, lower self-esteem, more internalizing and externalizing behavior problems including aggression, mental health difficulties, and increased risk for later substance abuse, antisocial behavior, and violence.”

A meta-analysis found that when children are spanked, they are less likely to internalize the moral implications of the behaviors that led them to be disciplined. It also found that non-physical discipline was more effective at teaching “alternative behaviors,” “developing a child’s conscience,” and advancing their “emotional development.”

Another meta-analysis cited in the story found that corporal punishment in childhood was associated with mental health problems, low self-esteem and antisocial behavior.

In the end, the studies show that corporal punishment is counter-productive when it comes to raising healthy, happy children. But it will take much more than a study to get people to reconsider their views of corporal punishment because they are deeply rooted in many cultural traditions.

Looking for some non-physical alternatives to discipline your child? Here’s a great place to start from WebMD.

From Your Site Articles
spanking children
Family

Wife cooks nachos for 'picky' husband who refused to eat her salmon. But she has a point.

Should she be cooking two meals?

via TheMamaBrianna/TikTok

Brianna Greenfield makes nachos for her husband.

A viral video showing a woman preparing nachos for her "picky" spouse after he refused to eat the salmon dinner she cooked has sparked a contentious debate on TikTok. The video was shared on April 26 by Brianna Greenfield (@themamabrianna on TikTok) and has since earned over 2.5 million views.

Brianna is a mother of two who lives in Iowa.

The video starts with Brianna grating a massive hunk of cheese with a caption that reads: “My husband didn’t eat the dinner that I made…So let’s make him some nachos.”

“If I don’t feed him, he literally won’t eat,” she wrote. “This used to irritate me. Now I just blame his mother for never making him try salmon,” Greenfield wrote. The video features Meghan Trainor’s single “Mother” playing in the background.

Keep ReadingShow less
marriage
Identity

Woman’s experience scheduling an EEG highlights the unconscious bias of textured hair

Though her scalp was exposed for the procedure, they still insisted she take her twists out, making it harder to get to her scalp.

Sadé Naima|TikTok

Woman can't schedule EEG due to unconscious textured hair bias.

Getting a medical procedure done can be scary, or at the very least nerve-wracking, no matter how many times you've had it done. It's something that's outside of your normal routine and you're essentially at the mercy of the medical facility and providers. Most of the time, the pre-procedure instructions make sense, and if something catches you by surprise, it's usually easily explained.

Sadé Naima recently had an experience while attempting to get an EEG that wasn't easily explained away. In fact, the entire situation didn't make sense to the TikTok creator who experiences migraines. Naima uploaded a video to the social media platform explaining the sequence of events that happened after her doctor referred her to receive an MRI and EEG.

An MRI uses a magnetic field to generate images and an EEG uses electrodes that stick to your scalp to create images of your brain waves.

Keep ReadingShow less
unconscious bias
Joy

Heroic train conductor spots and saves 3-year-old autistic, nonverbal boy lost on tracks

He was dangerously close to the third rail.

via MTA info/YouTube

An MTA employee rescues a 3-year-old child on the tracks.

Five Metropolitan Transportation Authority employees are hailed as heroes for their quick thinking and diligence in the April 6 rescue of a young boy. Locomotive Engineer William Kennedy was operating a southbound Hudson Line train near Tarrytown, a few miles north of New York City, when he noticed an unusual object on the northbound track.

That “object” was a 3-year-old boy.

Kennedy sent an emergency call out to all trains in the area, catching the attention of a northbound conductor, Shawn Loughran, and a trainee. Loughran slowed down his train as he approached the child, who was straddling the electrified third rail.

When the train screeched to a halt, Assistant Conductor Marcus Higgins didn't waste a second. Leaping down the tracks, he sprinted 40 yards ahead of the train, scooping up the young child like a guardian angel.

Keep ReadingShow less
rescue
Health

Here’s how we can use the power of awe to make our lives more fulfilling

Being amazed by things outside ourselves is tremendous for our mental health.

via Benjamin Davies/Unsplash

A young man looking into the sky

The exhilaration of a rock concert. The feeling of deep serenity you experience during a religious ceremony. That sense of connectedness you get while walking through a dense forest. The lightness that flows through your body while dancing and the dissolution of the ego you experience on psychedelics. These are all experiences that give us the feeling of awe.

Most of us love having at least a few of these experiences and believe they help us grow. But now, a team of psychologists has explained why cultivating a sense of awe can benefit our minds and bodies and how we can create these experiences ourselves.

Maria Monroy and Dacher Keltner posit that a sense of awe can help solve the crises of individualism, excessive self-focus, loneliness and a culture of cynicism, and can even improve our physical health. They explain it in a research article titled “Awe as a Pathway to Mental and Physical Health.”

Keep ReadingShow less
mental health
Trending Stories