This is definitely some parenting nightmare fuel.
Kids birthday party culture is definitely having a moment in the public discourse. For one thing, parties have become outrageously expensive. Renting a lane at the bowling alley and getting some pizza for a dozen kids used to be the cheap party. Now that same experience will probably run $500 or more. If you tack on custom desserts (unless it's a Costco sheet cake), goodie bags, and a premium venue like a trampoline park or arcade, you could be looking at a bill of close to $1000! That's madness!
RSVP etiquette is in crisis, too. Social media is rife with stories of no one RSVPing, RSVPers no-showing on the day, and others sorts of rude or bizarre behavior from parents that turns parties sour and, sadly, ruin kids' birthdays.
One dad's story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong, though, definitely takes the cake.
May this birthday party never find me. media2.giphy.com
"My son's birthday was recently and we decided to throw him a party at a local place that was kid focused and amazing," the dad writes in a Reddit post. Due to classroom rules and wanting to pass the invitations out through school, the family invited all 24 kids from their child's class.
"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one. My name, my phone number, AND my spouse's phone number was on the card. I'm literally staring at one ... that I handwrote and this was included on the invite. I handwrote every card so I know for a fact what was on there," he says.
Not wanting to cancel the birthday party (and traumatize his son), the dad began inviting kids from other branches of his network. Friends' kids, coworkers kids. Basically anyone with a warm body so that they could throw a proper party. In the end, the family planned and paid for 15 kids to attend the party, including a resounding zero from class.
"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one." media2.giphy.com
And then everything went haywire.
"Party was yesterday night. ... We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in. A few of his classmates began showing up. I was fine with that and was excited kids started showing up for him. And then more kids started showing up. One family brought 7 kids total; 3 teens, 2 slightly older kids, a girl from his classmates, and their cousin. Another family brought their son AND one of his friends because 'they didn't know if their son would know anyone there so we wanted to make sure he had a friend to play with'. So many of them brought siblings."
The numbers quickly got way, way out of hand. Organizers at the venue told the dad he was going to have to pay for all the extra kids that showed up. So the OP unfortunately had to tell anyone who brought uninvited kids, or failed to RSVP, that they would have to pay their own way for all the crafts and activities available at the venue.
"We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in." media0.giphy.com
A few families apologized and ponied up, but... "I had multiple parents tell me that they didn't know they couldn't bring their other kids and promised to pay before they left. Some asked for my Cashapp/Venmo/Zelle so they could reimburse me later since they couldn't afford it right now. Some just left, a few taking their presents with them."
With so many kids running amok, the party took an unfortunate turn. Kids started being mean to an animal that was brought out for entertainment and its handlers had to put it away. Trash went flying everywhere. Kids climbed on tables and got kicked out. It was pandemonium.
In the end, dad had to pay an extra cleaning fee, pay for damage done to the venue, and pay for all the extra kids who showed up whose parents left before chipping in. Worse yet, his son was devastated at how the party turned out.
"I was in tears. My son is really upset that there were so many mean kids. He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year."
He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year." media1.giphy.com
The obvious question coming out of this story: Why are people so awful?!
Stories like this one sadly aren't rare. The cynical take is that parents are ruder and more self-absorbed than ever, that our chronically disconnected society has diluted our sense of community and obligation to be kind to each other.
The (slightly) more optimistic and probably more accurate take is that today's parents are completely overwhelmed and have their hands full coordinating handfuls of events that are months away, responding to dozens of daily emails from school and teachers and daycares, being engaged and hands-on in every aspects of their kids lives, etc. So RSVPs sometimes slip to the bottom of the list and get forgotten. The behavior in this dad's story is appalling, but probably not intentionally malicious.
Still, social media users were furious on behalf of the child and his parents in the story.
"This is unacceptable behavior," wrote one commenter.
"People suck and kids parties bring out the worst in people!" added another.
Whatever the cause, there are a few ways you can protect yourself and your kids from birthday party catastrophes like this one.
Don't include the specific location on the invite. The best way to stop people who didn't RSVP from showing up unannounced is to stay vague about the party venue. Just put the day and time on the invitation so people can save the date, but make them text or call before you tell them where the party will be held. That way, you can secure a commitment beforehand.
Specify whether siblings are welcome. Unfortunately, some parents have been known to use other kids birthday parties as informal daycares, dropping all of their kids off at once and taking themselves a nice break! It's not all conniving, though. It is legitimately a lot easier on some families to bring everyone along to a party rather than dividing and conquering to entertain siblings who weren't invited. Just be clear on the invite or in RSVP discussions about who's allowed to come and whether parents are expected to stay (or if it's a "drop off party").
Understand classroom rules. A lot of schools now require that, if birthday party invitations get handed out in class, that everyone is invited. That rules comes from a great place of not wanting anyone to feel left out, but it also causes a lot of problems. The inclusivity is a positive but it also means you end up inviting a lot of kids and parents you don't know very well or at all. If you're up for this logistical challenge, go for it! But if not, consider a smaller party with just your child's good friends—and invite them privately outside of school.
Finally, for anyone on the receiving end of a birthday party invitation, don't be a jerk! RSVPing either way is a much appreciated gesture. On the chance that you do forget to RSVP (it happens), don't show up unannounced. It may not seem like a big deal, but when a couple dozen sets of parents all have the same thought, this dad's viral story shows exactly what can go wrong.
This article originally appeared in March.
via zoetnet/Flickr, Ewen Roberts/Flickr and Tom Hodgkinson/Flickr
Some American tourists enjoying the sights
Americans have a style and personality all their own, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just noticeable when they travel aboard. Americans often stand out because of their outgoing personalities. They are friendly and enjoy having casual conversations with strangers.
This is an endearing trait to a lot of people in more reserved cultures, although it can also come off as a little brash.
An American characteristic that isn’t quite endearing to people in other countries is that they can be rather loud. In Europe, one can always notice the Americans in the restaurant because they can be heard from across the room.
One Reddit user wanted to know the specific ways that Americans stand out when traveling abroad, so they asked the AskReddit subreddit: “What’s an obvious sign that someone is an American?”
It may not be quite this obvious, but Americans do stand out. Giphy
The post was popular, receiving nearly 6,000 responses in just 6 days. The most popular ones described how Americans' unique personalities, style of dress, dental hygiene and body language make them easy to spot.
Here are 14 “obvious” signs that someone is an American.
1. Posture
Americans slouch and lean. Giphy
"Apparently, the CIA trains American agents to not lean on things if they go undercover in foreign countries because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," one user wrote.
"I bet MI6 trains British agents to lean on everything if they go undercover in America because Americans lean on anything they can while standing around," joked another.
Shockingly, this is actually true. The "American lean" is well-documented and, yes, a former CIA chief has said publicly that it's something the agency addresses with its operatives to help them blend in.
2. The date
"MMDDYYYY," a user said.
The way Americans write the date seems normal and commonplace when you're in the US, but around the world, we're practically the only ones who do it that way. Similarly, only a small handful of countries outside of the US use the imperial system of measure.
Writing the date or using feet and inches are a dead giveaway!
3. Distances are different
"Anything under 4 hours is 'close by," someone suggested.
"Everything in Europe is around the corner if you're from the US. I can drive the whole day and not leave my state, but in Europe, I can pass through 4 countries in that same time frame," said another.
The massive geography of the United States has a big affect on how we see distance. It shows up when we travel to other countries that are more densely packed together.
4. They're polite to servers
"In the touristy cafe-restaurant I worked at:
If they asked me for the nicest spot we had
If they asked me my recommendation without seeing the menu first
I would walk to the table, and they would say right away ‘hey, how are you doing?’ This one threw me off a lot at first. Why is this person asking me how I'm doing?? I'm just there to take the order. I got used to it, and I think they found my awkwardness cute.
They would ask my name when I greeted them and took their order.
I'm Northern European.," explained one user.
"It’s under-appreciated just how polite, friendly, and sincere Americans are in general. It blew my mind the first time I came to the US, and I love that my children are growing up with those same values," said another.
You might expect to hear that Americans are rude and entitled when traveling, but that's not necessarily the case! In America, some friendly rapport with your waiter is expected, and Americans tend to be a more outgoing bunch that love to engage. That makes them stand out in European countries, in particular, where restaurant service is meant to be professional and efficient rather than charismatic.
5. The water bottles
Americans love huge water bottles. Giphy
"I was told, 'Americans carry water bottles around like they're worried they'll never have access to clean water ever again," one user said.
"I don't care what anyone says. If you think carrying a water bottle when walking a lot is weird, you're probably slightly dehydrated all the time and are just desensitized to it. You seriously need to drink water frequently if you want to be ideally healthy," said another.
The water bottle fad is uniquely American, for better or worse. Whether it's a Yeti, a Stanley, an Owalla, or something else, you can bet if someone is swinging a massive water bottle wherever they walk, they're an American.
6. Smiling
"I was in Germany this past summer, and I realized smiling at everyone you make eye contact with is very American. When I went to London on the same trip, they seemed less weirded out by it but would awkwardly return the smile. I was taught to always start with a disarming smile. Never realized it was American," said one person.
7. "More ice, please."
Americans love tons of ice in their drinks. Giphy
"I spent a year in Europe completely iceless to the point I forgot that was a thing. I stopped at a bar in Chicago fresh off the plane and not only did I get free tap water, but water with ice. I instantly felt at home," added one person.
There is a long and fascinating history involving someone called "The Ice King" behind why Americans, and so few other cultures, love to put tons of ice in our drinks. Needless to say, it makes us stand out like a sore thumb when traveling.
8. Personal space
"As an American man, I’ve been told repeatedly by European and Asian friends that we simply take up space (not by being fat) as though we’re entitled to it. Men in other countries apparently don’t claim the same personal space we do," one person offered.
You mean manspreading? Apparently, other cultures don't do that.
9. White teeth
Americans value ultra-white teeth. Giphy
"It’s even more bizarre that they assume we have braces or bleach our teeth because they’re straight and white. I have naturally straight white teeth. I brush them twice a day so they stay white. I don’t do anything special to them, but I remember being in London and some similar-aged students literally making fun of me for my teeth… it’s true that they don’t naturally look like headstones in an ancient graveyard, but there’s no need to make fun," someone added.
Imagine getting made fun of for having white teeth! For one reason or another, American culture places high value on having extremely white teeth. We all know the old jokes about British teeth, but some findings show that while Americans' teeth may be whiter, Brits may be healthier overall. Something to think about.
10. Casual dress
"My friend went to Germany recently, and what people said about Americans is you can spot them a mile away because they’re the ones wearing pajamas in public. Apparently, in other countries, at least Germany, they dress a little more formally and in less baggy clothes than we do in America," someone added.
Activewear, sweatpants, pajamas — we love to be comfortable! But it does make us a bit obvious when we're out and about in other countries.
11. Baseball hats
Americans wear hats... everywhere. Giphy
"Baseball cap... even on an infant riding in a pram," a user suggested.
Baseball hats are common in many countries around the world, but most people internationally only wear them outside. If someone's wearing a cap inside or at a restaurant, it's a safe bet that person is American.
12. Shoes
"Americans are shoe snobs (they don’t think they are, but they are). Setting aside wealthier business types, Americans generally wear more on-brand, on-trend, high-quality shoes than others," someone said.
13. They're loud
Americans' default volume is loud. Giphy
"That was my first thought. Americans yell at each other in normal conversation in public. I noticed it years ago in Europe, and now I can’t stand it in the US," another user added.
Now there's an unsurprising revelation! Just like our tendency to take up space, Americans seem to have less awareness of those around them when it comes to conversation volume, as well.
14. Occupation matters
"Immediately asking someone what they do for a living when meeting them. Our jobs and work are our entire identity," one person said.
"I hate that about American culture. I'm an American and recently became a SAHM, so I don't have an answer to 'What do you do for a living?' Half the time, I add the caveat, ‘Oh, my last job was with Apple,’ so that I'm not written off as an unemployed ‘loser.’ But it really is dumb to determine a person's worth by what they do in order to afford food and shelter," added another.
There are huge differences in work culture between America and other countries. They're so big and pervasive that they show up not just while we're working, but in the way we interact with others. For example, in Europe it's far less common to be friends with your coworkers. People value the purpose they find in work and the results, but are happy to keep the majority of their life separate from their career.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
via Canva/Photos
A woman in a hot car.
It’s remarkable how, when it gets a little warm outside in the summer, the interior of your car can become a blazing inferno. A big reason for the discrepancy between the outside air temperature and the interior of your car is the same reason the planet is getting warmer: the greenhouse effect.
When you close your car windows and it's warm outside, the heat can’t escape because longwave radiation can’t pass through windows as easily as shortwave radiation. That’s why temperatures can go from comfortably cool when you get out of your car to blazing within minutes.
In fact, if it’s 80 degrees outside, it only takes 10 minutes for the car’s inside temperature to rise to 99 degrees and an additional hour to reach 137 degrees. That’s why it’s important never to leave your pet in the inside of your car, even when it feels cool outside.
A man in a hot car.via Canva/Photos
How to cool a hot car in the summer
So, how do you cool your car down when it feels like a volcano inside in the middle of summer? Victoria Fenn Alvarado, a reporter with Canada’s The Weather Network, shared a science-based hack to cool your car even faster than blasting the air conditioner. First, you open the passenger-side window down. Then you open the driver's side door and step outside of the car. "Open and close the door paridly, about seven to 10 times. Once you complete his step, you can step inside your vehicle, and now you can drive away comfortably," Alvardo said.
It may look unusual to others in the parking lot to see you using your car door like a massive fan, but the hack is effective because it utilizes forced convection to replace the hot air with cool, fresh air. “Opening and closing the door acts as a pump, allowing warm air to exit rapidly. Paired with having the window open on the other side, this motion creates a pressure drop inside the vehicle, pulling in outside air, essentially replacing the warm air with fresh air,” Alvarado continues.
Hannah Fry further explained the phenomenon in a viral TikTok video. Fry is Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and the host of numerous popular podcasts and television shows.
How to cool your hot car using forced convection
@fryrsquared That age-old dilemma of choosing between having a non-sweltering car or baffling a passerby because you look like a fool who doesn't know how to use a door
“The reason why it works is that when you open and close the door, especially if you do it quickly, the door, as it's moving outwards, it sweeps out all of the air that's in its way, creating this sort of area of low pressure that you get here,” Fry said. “And then that sets up something called bulk flow, which is where all of the hot, sweaty, horrible air inside the car is drawn outwards.”
The hack is one of the strange things that seems obvious, but most people probably haven’t considered. However, once you see it in action, it’s impossible not to think: Why didn’t I think of that? Here’s to enjoying the rest of your summers, knowing that even if it gets a bit warm outside, you always have a cool car to look forward to.
