Read a mom's heartfelt thank-you to the football player who ate lunch with her son.
'I'm not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I'm happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten.'
Bo Paske, a sixth-grader at Montford Middle School in Tallahassee, Florida, knows what a social minefield a school cafeteria can be.
Eating lunch at school can be the most challenging part of a kid's day, especially if they're not like other kids. Aside from entering one of the most difficult life transitions (puberty), Bo is on the autism spectrum and sometimes makes erratic movements or suddenly says strange things.
Kids eating lunch. Image via iStock.
In a Facebook post by "Love What Matters," Bo's mom Leah explains that he is often teased by his classmates and tends to eat lunch by himself. She knows this because it's one of the questions she always asks him when he comes home from school.
Most days, she writes, the answer is "nobody."
Earlier this week, however, Bo had a very special lunch buddy — someone Leah never could've seen coming.
When Florida State University football players visited Montford, FSU wide receiver Travis Rudolph made a point of sitting with Bo when no one else was.
Leah was not even aware who Rudolph was, but when a friend shared the picture with her, she was overcome with joy and had to find a way to express her gratitude.
She wrote an incredibly heartfelt post on Facebook to explain how meaningful this small gesture was, and she shared it, along with the photo of Bo and Rudolph eating lunch together:
"Several times lately I have tried to remember my time in middle school, did I like all my teachers, do I even remember...
Posted by Love What Matters on Tuesday, August 30, 2016
In the post, she wrote about her anxiety for Bo's happiness in middle school:
"Now that I have a child starting middle school, I have feelings of anxiety for him, and they can be overwhelming if I let them. Sometimes I'm grateful for his autism. That may sound like a terrible thing to say, but in some ways I think, I hope, it shields him. He doesn't seem to notice when people stare at him when he flaps his hands. He doesn't seem to notice that he doesn't get invited to birthday parties anymore. And he doesn't seem to mind if he eats lunch alone. It's one of my daily questions for him. Was there a time today you felt sad? Who did you eat lunch with today? Sometimes the answer is a classmate, but most days it's nobody. Those are the days I feel sad for him, but he doesn't seem to mind."
And she addresses Rudolph directly with a message of gratitude:
"I'm not sure what exactly made this incredibly kind man share a lunch table with my son, but I'm happy to say that it will not soon be forgotten. This is one day I didn't have to worry if my sweet boy ate lunch alone, because he sat across from someone who is a hero in many eyes. Travis Rudolph thank you so much, you made this momma exceedingly happy, and have made us fans for life!"
As for Rudolph's decision to sit with Bo?
"I saw him sitting there by himself and I got a plate of pizza and I asked him, can I sit with him, and he said, 'Sure, why not.'" Rudolph told People of his gesture.
As a parent, it's easy to feel powerless when your kid has trouble making friends in school. Kids can be fickle and kids can be cruel, but when one person goes out of their way to show kindness to someone who might not see much of it otherwise, it sets an example that everyone else can follow.
Does it mean that tomorrow Bo's lunch table will be filled with his classmates? Maybe. Maybe not. But if even one other kid in his class follows Rudolph's lead, that's a win.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."