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Prepare to laugh: Protein shakes aren't as harmless as you might think. Take a look at these men.

There's one way to get your protein, and then there's the right way. Warning: extreme satire ahead. Prepare to laugh.

Prepare to laugh: Protein shakes aren't as harmless as you might think. Take a look at these men.
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Organic Valley
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Hold up. Let me clarify.

I know protein powders and drinks aren't only for bros. I don't think we need to talk much about that, but before we go any further, I just want to make sure we're all on the same page. What you watched was a funny ad that plays on the stereotype of protein-drink consumers: swole dudes living the bro life — mostly in the gym — and taking giant bro swigs of protein drinks. But, like, dude, all types of of people enjoy protein drinks.


OK, where were we? Right. So, let's talk about protein sources.

Not all protein powders and drinks are created equal. Some contain GMOs, artificial sweeteners, toxic pesticides, synthetic hormones, and other stuff. Do you need any of that? Nah.

Heavy metals, dude.

Guess what else is in some protein powders and drinks? Heavy metals. Consumer Reports literally broke down 15 protein powders and drinks to find out what was actually in them. They looked for mercury, arsenic, lead, and cadmium. Most of the powders and drinks had some heavy metals, ranging from low to moderate. Three of them, however, had enough that "consuming three servings a day could result in daily exposure to arsenic, cadmium, or lead exceeding the limits proposed by USP," or the U.S. Pharmacopeia. It's a federally recognized authority that sets standards for health products.

Chill out, bro. There's an alternative!

Look at those peaceful cows. You can be like them. You don't have to drink heavy metals and other unpleasant stuff. Organic is always an option for your protein drinks. And if you go that route, you'll know what you're getting:

  1. More antioxidants and nutrients: Organic foods have more of the good stuff than non-organic. Research says so.
  2. No pesticides or synthetic fertilizers: They're bad for the environment and they're bad for you.
  3. No synthetic hormones: Skipping these means happier animals and healthier humans.
  4. No antibiotics: 'Cause who gets excited about antibiotic-resistant infections?
  5. No GMOs: Do we reallly know enough about genetically engineered crops yet to feel good about eating them? Up to you to decide, but you don't have to consume GMOs in your protein drink.

Save the bros — and yourself.

All of this sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. And while cleaning up your protein shakes might not, like, save your life, it could make you feel better about what you're putting in your body. So help a bro out and spread the word: #savethebros.

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In 1945, the world had just endured the bloodiest war in history. World leaders were determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past. They wanted to build a better future, one free from the "scourge of war" so they signed the UN Charter — creating a global organization of nations that could deter and repel aggressors, mediate conflicts and broker armistices, and ensure collective progress.

Over the following 75 years, the UN played an essential role in preventing, mitigating or resolving conflicts all over the world. It faced new challenges and new threats — including the spread of nuclear weapons and other weapons of mass destruction, a Cold War and brutal civil wars, transnational terrorism and genocides. Today, the UN faces new tensions: shifting and more hostile geopolitics, digital weaponization, a global pandemic, and more.

This slideshow shows how the UN has worked to build peace and security around the world:

1 / 12

Malians wait in line at a free clinic run by the UN Multidimensional Integrated Mission in Mali in 2014. Over their 75 year history, UN peacekeepers have deployed around the world in military and nonmilitary roles as they work towards human security and peace. Here's a look back at their history.

Photo credit: UN Photo/Marco Dormino

Who would have thought that giving the world access to all human knowledge via the internet, the ability to follow and hear from experts on any subject via social media, and the ability to see what's happening anywhere in the world via smartphones with cameras would result in a terrifying percentage of the population believing and spouting nothing but falsehoods day in and day out?

Those of us who value facts, reason, and rational thought have found ourselves at some of our fellow citizens and thinking, "Really? THIS is how you choose to use the greatest tool humanity has ever created? To spew unfounded conspiracy theories?"

It's a marvel, truly.

Between Coronavirus/Bill Gates/5G conspiracies and QAnon/Evil Cabal/Pedophile conspiracies, I thought we were pretty much full up on kooky for 2020. But apparently not. The massive fires up and down the West Coast have ignited even more conspiracy theories, some of which local law enforcement and even the FBI have had to debunk.

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In 1945, the world had just endured the bloodiest war in history. World leaders were determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past. They wanted to build a better future, one free from the "scourge of war" so they signed the UN Charter — creating a global organization of nations that could deter and repel aggressors, mediate conflicts and broker armistices, and ensure collective progress.

Over the following 75 years, the UN played an essential role in preventing, mitigating or resolving conflicts all over the world. It faced new challenges and new threats — including the spread of nuclear weapons and other weapons of mass destruction, a Cold War and brutal civil wars, transnational terrorism and genocides. Today, the UN faces new tensions: shifting and more hostile geopolitics, digital weaponization, a global pandemic, and more.

This slideshow shows how the UN has worked to build peace and security around the world:

1 / 12

Malians wait in line at a free clinic run by the UN Multidimensional Integrated Mission in Mali in 2014. Over their 75 year history, UN peacekeepers have deployed around the world in military and nonmilitary roles as they work towards human security and peace. Here's a look back at their history.

Photo credit: UN Photo/Marco Dormino

I worked as a substitute teacher in my early 20s, almost exclusively in middle schools and high schools—my age of specialty. Once, I accepted a two-day subbing assignment in a first grade classroom. Only once. Halfway through the first day, as the kids ate lunch in the cafeteria, I sat at the teacher's desk in an exhausted daze. Teaching little kids was a completely different animal than teaching big kids. While adorable, they had so many needs and so little attention span. It was like herding a bunch of flies that constantly needed to go potty.

Trying to herd those flies virtually during a pandemic is too much to even fathom.

So the real-time story that mom and writer Stephanie Lucianovic shared on Twitter of what happened when her son's second grade teacher dropped from the class Zoom call was not the least bit surprising. Hilariously entertaining, but not surprising.

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Katie Neeves (L) photo by Jayne Walsh, JK Rowling (R) photo by Sjhill, CC BY-SA 3.0

Dear JK Rowling,

I am writing this letter to say a big thank you to you. You may think it strange that a gobby trans woman such as me would wish to thank you after all your recent transphobic outpourings, but let me explain…

I certainly don't thank you for your lengthy essay last month where you describe the abuse you have suffered (for which you have my sympathy) and in which you stated that you do not hate trans people, while at the same time peddling even more anti-trans mis-information. Sadly, your diatribe directly caused some trans children to self-harm and other to attempt suicide.

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