Dr. Caroline Dickens is a perinatal psychologist in San Francisco who spends her workdays helping new mothers navigate their new roles. As a young mother herself, she particularly struggled to get her own 3-year-old to fall asleep each night.
“He was just getting out of bed 100 times in a row, really begging for somebody to stay with him, negotiating. Just really working us at bedtime,” she told TODAY.com. “We needed to find a solution to get a little bit of our nights back.”
They tried the usual things, like sticker charts or cookies at breakfast if he stayed put. They left paper hearts and stuffed animals on his bed as proof they’d come in to check on him while he slept. “It would work for a little bit, but it never really stuck,” Dickens said.
Then one night, she got into bed next to him and took a selfie as evidence that she’d been there.
“He just thought it was so funny the next morning,” she said. “He just kept laughing and asking to see it again, and he got such a kick out of it.”
Taking a photo was easy enough that when he asked for another one, she said yes, but then it escalated. “They’ve gotten progressively sillier,” she said. “Now he’ll ask me to make a certain funny face or kiss him in the picture.”
The photo serves the same purpose as the paper hearts: it proves she came back. The difference is that her son now has something to look forward to in the morning, which changes how the night feels for a kid who doesn’t want to be left alone.
“My theory is that having this concrete reminder that I really do come back and check on him has made saying goodnight feel a tiny bit less scary,” Dickens wrote on Instagram.
Bedtime has gotten easier, and Dickens no longer takes selfies every night. “I don’t do it every single night now, but still whenever I remember, I do it because also the pictures are just cute for me to have,” she said.
Other sleep professionals in her comments said they already recommend some version of it.
“Absolutely love this idea! And you’re right, it’s all about following through. If we say we will come back to check, we always do,” wrote @thedublinsleepconsultant.
Follow Dr. Caroline Dickens (@drcarolinedickens) on Instagram for more medical and parenting content.
